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Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,536
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2016
Posts: 1,536 |
Drier than an old nun.
Worse than a sore ass in fly time.
Lock, stock and barrel...
Lower than whale schitt.
Not worth a tinker's damn
Ain't got two nickels to rub together
Not worth a red cent
Don't take any wooden nickels
Fux like a mink
Or like a squirrel .
We pray our sights be straight
and our aim be true
We pray for no pain
to the game we pursue
We thank you Lord
for this land
We thank you for the sights
from our stands
We pray for safety, one and all
We pray we may return next fall
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,288
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,288 |
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
It takes two to tango
Robbing Peter to pay Paul
Haste makes waste
Bird in hand is better than two in the bush
Sadly, all of these and many more should still be entirely relevant.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,484
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 10,484 |
Then there was that saying about "The Whole Nine Yards" , meaning all of something or the entirety of it all....... I can recall using that myself many years ago but never knew where it originated. Then an old guy told me it was a reference to the length of the ammo belt for the machine guns on a WW2 fighter plane, ( don't recall which one), If a plane came back out of ammo it was said he did the whole nine yards. Sounds plausible to me unless he was pulling my leg.
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 9,189
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 9,189 |
The South will rise again.
I belong on eroding granite, among the pines.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,439
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 12,439 |
Okanagan, it was predictable that the Fire's reading comprehension expired after "Old Maxims." Most of the posters got no further, or were unable to comprehend what "are no longer relevant" meant. You can lead a horse to water.................
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 3,277
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 3,277 |
Hotter than a fresh fugged fox in a forest fire
Hotter than the hinges of he'll
Fugged up as a mill rat
You been all morning combing your hair ?
Feel like a sack full of arseholes without the sack
You would have to tie a 2x4 across your arse to keep from falling in
Hotter than a two dollar pistol
Queer as a three dollar bill
If there was as many sticking out as there have been stuck in she would look like a porcupine
Shaved her legs to those on
He climbs like a monkey fuggin a football
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,246 |
Grandpa would tell folks, you're gonna break your arm patting yourself on the back.
Molɔ̀ːn Labé
Grandpa:the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Dad:son you have 2 choices for supper eat or don't eat.
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Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 9,189
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jul 2013
Posts: 9,189 |
Hotter than a fresh fugged fox in a forest fire
Hotter than the hinges of he'll
Fugged up as a mill rat
You been all morning combing your hair ?
Feel like a sack full of arseholes without the sack
You would have to tie a 2x4 across your arse to keep from falling in
Hotter than a two dollar pistol
Queer as a three dollar bill
If there was as many sticking out as there have been stuck in she would look like a porcupine
Shaved her legs to those on
He climbs like a monkey fuggin a football
I always liked "Queer as a three dollar bill" when my dad said it. I changed it to "Gayer than a three dollar bill" in my teens. Still make that comment regularly.
I belong on eroding granite, among the pines.
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Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,288
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2018
Posts: 2,288 |
“(Enter distance); As the crow flies...”
“Can’t get theyahh from heyuhh” (Maine folks only)
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 25,828
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 25,828 |
You all have a lot of the bases covered. One that may have been missed or was in my family only -
“Children are to be seen and not heard!” My pop would tell all 7 of us, when we were formally entertaining neighbors, or his Pop. He said he got that one from him, his Pop. In relation to same with his 6 siblings.
Enter millennials... Oh yeah. That was a religion in our house hold when I was a kid. We were welcome to sit around and listen to the adults discuss matters of weight in world affairs. But we sure as hell did not open our mouth.
People who choose to brew up their own storms bitch loudest about the rain.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,340
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 13,340 |
Then there was that saying about "The Whole Nine Yards" , meaning all of something or the entirety of it all....... I can recall using that myself many years ago but never knew where it originated. Then an old guy told me it was a reference to the length of the ammo belt for the machine guns on a WW2 fighter plane, ( don't recall which one), If a plane came back out of ammo it was said he did the whole nine yards. Sounds plausible to me unless he was pulling my leg. The Whole Nine Yards. ![[Linked Image]](https://i.postimg.cc/hjVPBcG2/Whole-Nine-Yards.jpg) L.W.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,143
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,143 |
Kids today wouldn’t have a clue what this one means
If someone was poor, or having a hard time in their life, GrandMa would day:
“He’s got a tough row to hoe”
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,356
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2014
Posts: 2,356 |
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong!
Fück Joe byron
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,143
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 69,143 |
And one of GrandDad’s favorites:
“He’s so dumb he couldn’t poor piss out of a boot with directions on the bottom”
"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 25,828
Campfire Ranger
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OP
Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 25,828 |
My uncle used to quote, every time "Old Barny" blew a load of gas toward the front of the feed wagon "A fartin' horse never tires, and a tired horse never farts." And of course, every time Auntie complained about the cowy smell coming from our boots in the mudroom "Smells like money". And there were a few he told me about women, they are as relevant today as they have been for ten thousand years. 'Never step through the doorway of a married woman's house unless her husband is home." "If she will leave him for you, she will leave you for the next one." Oh and one other, "Better to have peder tracks on your zipper, than zipper tracks on your peder." I was always afraid to ask for an interpretation of that last one. I figured it had to do with his family's recent immigration from Switzerland. 
People who choose to brew up their own storms bitch loudest about the rain.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,907
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,907 |
Was gonna throw a smart arsed reply but yeah....you do have a point. Like when someone gets two pages of scope recommendations other than the particular one he mentioned?
So...thinking this should qualify - " Lord willing and the Creek don't rise."
Pretty sure they won't. wonder does anyone really know what '...and the creek don't rise...' was really talking about????? This is one of the 'OLD' maxims that have no use today! TheCreek Indians.....
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Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 10,776
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 10,776 |
My uncle used to quote, every time "Old Barny" blew a load of gas toward the front of the feed wagon
"A fartin' horse never tires, and a tired horse never farts: Uncle Ernie used to say, “A fartin’ horse will never tire, a fartin’ man’s the one to hire.” How about, “Crazier than a schitt house rat.”
Mathew 22: 37-39
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,270
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,270 |
Hotter than a two-peckered goat......
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Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,230
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 17,230 |
too poor to pay attention..
couldn't buy a low cut dress for a piss ant if cotton was 5 cents a bale.
frozen harder than chinese algebra.
...Actually Sycamore, you are sort of right....
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,190
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,190 |
‘That guy wouldn’t know heads from tails’
They were talking about making cuts on moonshine — not coins
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