This first part was from another forum, I added the update.
February 23, 2003
Preemptive Strike Stuns France
PARIS - This evening, in what is easily the most stunning development in America's war on terror, Boy Scouts from Troop 320 of Manchester, Md. staged a daring preemptive strike on France.
Details are sketchy but the lightening fast operation, lasting all of 5 hours, stunned France and the world. "Our troop hit the ground at just after noon and we raised Ol' Glory before dinner." said beaming Troop Leader Alex Ledsinger adding "We didn't even have all 15 of the boys with us. The Stevens boys couldn't make the trip due to conduct problems at school this year."
Americans, and likely the French, are anxiously awaiting comments from President Bush amid rumors that the raid was not planned by the U.S. government. One shaken administration official, who asked not to be identified, said "Uh we are trying to find ways to leverage this uh development in a way thats fair to uh a uh liberated France and U.S. interests."
Privately the Boy Scouts themselves expressed surprise at the events. "We were supposed to meet the French President, or whatever they call it, and take our picture with him and he was all like waving his arms in the air and begging for mercy." according to Josh Perlman, 13, adding "It was weird but our Troop Leader told us to just go with it."
For now at least, Troop Leader Alex Ledsinger isn't talking. "We'll stay on the ground until we can peacefully transfer power to General James L. Jones of EUCOM. I'll comment further after I get these boys back home."
SPECIAL ALERT UPDATE...
CNN reports that French Girl Scout Troop 69 celebrated the BSA victory with the boys in an evening of debauchery that was characterized by one of the young boys as his Most Excellent Adventure. "The French girls were as cheap and nasty as the wine," said fourteen year old Jimmy Johnson from Weathersfield, Connecticut. "They really showed us one hell of good time in gratitude for saving them from the 'limp-wristed' men who have been aimlessly roaming the streets of this forgotten country ever since the 'real-men' departed at the conclusion of WW II," said Johnson. In New York, NBC News Anchor and author of "The Greatest Generation" remarked that perhaps it was time to hand the baton over to this new breed of boys from rural America. Details at 11:00...