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Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14337892 12/04/19
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Valsdad Online Content
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If they're female just tell them to keep talkin' all sexy like whilst you get the lotion out. Ask them what kinda undies they wearin'. And do they like top or bottom.

But most of the time it's dudes, so I just keep pressing numbers on the phone and beep the crap out of them.

Geno


The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men.
In it is contentment
In it is death and all you seek
(Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)

member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
300 BP

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14337903 12/04/19
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Hotrod_Lincoln Offline
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I learned to say "You fugg goats when you're not screwing your sister" in Hindi. You'd be surprised how many English cusswords those clowns know!
Jerry


Ignorance can be fixed. Stupid is forever!
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: HTDUCK] #14337916 12/04/19
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jaguartx Offline
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Originally Posted by HTDUCK
Yeah officer Steve with the IRS in Ft Worth was gonna arrest me if I didn't give him a CC # for $15K right there on the spot.
I asked him if he had my address to which he replied " of course I do, I'm a government agent. "
i informed him I didn't have a credit card, strictly cash kinda guy, come to the house and get it. And when you do, bring body bags and body armor.



Hahaha. You shoulda told him you worked for the FBI.


Ecc 10:2
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.

Science can't show us God but He can show us science.

"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: hanco] #14337927 12/04/19
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jaguartx Offline
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Originally Posted by hanco
I’ve talked to the same guys, they trying to help us out!


Ah, ha. They are dimocraps. Just as I figured. Prolly great fire guys like Sickermore and nutsac.

Hey laRoy, where do you work? Oh, uh, never mind. No offense intended.

Last edited by jaguartx; 12/04/19.

Ecc 10:2
The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but that of a fool to the left.

Science can't show us God but He can show us science.

"The Lord never asked anyone to be a tax collector, lowyer, or Redskins fan".

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14337991 12/04/19
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Mac84 Offline
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Hilarious!


"I Birn Quhil I Se" MacLeod of Lewis
I Burn While I See
Hold Fast MacLeod of Harris
Alpha

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338015 12/04/19
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CashisKing Offline
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I got into one of these once... cussed the guy so bad it would have made a sailor's ears blister.

He kept calling back... I kept laughing at his "your mother eats camel dung" (or whatevert)... I kept teaching him...

...after about 30 minutes he was laughing his ass off and THANKED ME for teaching him to cuss in American


If you spend your life acting the victim, your award will always be a busted nose.
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338072 12/04/19
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smarquez Offline
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I kept my voice mail for a couple weeks to share. The hilarious part was being told that I would be "busted by the local cops". I just can't believe anyone would fall for that.


Fight fire, save lives, laugh in the face of danger.

Stupid always finds a way.
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338091 12/04/19
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Orion2000 Offline
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I felt pretty good the night that I kept one on the phone for almost an hour. He finally hung up ON ME after I laughed at him for his feeble attempt to cuss me...


"A lie doesn't become truth; wrong doesn't become right; evil doesn't become good, just because it's accepted by the majority." - Rick Warren
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338106 12/04/19
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montanabadger Offline
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I was watching tv with the wife one night, and this oriental woman called me trying to sell me some viagra. I asked her if she would help me try it out if I bought some, because I'm not getting any here. She hung up on me, and wifey was not impressed.


"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile from them, and you'll have their shoes."
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338124 12/04/19
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 14,190
g5m Offline
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Originally Posted by mirage243
Just got a call from the nicest, most helpful people at Social Security Office. The government must have a program to hire immigrants, because all 3 of the people I spoke with had similar accents. The agent said he would do all he could to help keep me out of prison and then turned me over to 2 different enforcement officers who were equally interest in helping solve the problem. When I told him that I was on parole and would never be taken alive again, he didn't even flinch, not even after being told that I got a year in prison for stalking, murdering and cutting the head, hands and feet off of a phone scammer. His only comment was, "you only got a year for murder in Texas?" I said no, I'm in Georgia and the judge said it was justifiable homicide, but charged me with felony littering for throwing the body parts out the window driving home. He said he wasn't interested in sending me back to prison, but the problem was the car that was impounded in Texas that was rented to my name and SS number and when they checked my bank account the found that $240K had been wired to it from a foreign source. When I told him that a lawyer had called me from Nigeria informing me that a rich uncle had died and left me $250K in his will if I'd send them $5K for handling I figured that large bank deposit was just for that since I sent him the money over a month ago. At that point he insisted on my full social security number again to cross reference with the bank records. I told him I thought he was trying to trick me by keeping me on the line until the police got here and I needed to hang up to flee, but he insisted this could be worked out with a credit card purchase from Walmart. When the credit card number I offered didn't match the first one I gave him, he became really irate and called me a name and hung up. I really thought he wanted to help. I've gotta' write those credit card numbers down in the future so I can repeat 'em when they ask a second time.



Good for you. And entertaining for us.


Retired cat herder.

It's good to have friends.

Bravo

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338125 12/04/19
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 3,215
muffin Online Content
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Had one call, after asking him to put someone on that spoke english he started getting pissed, threatened to come over and kill me with an ak47, during the conversation he kept saying BOOM, when I questioned what that meant he said he would blow up my house...............

Kept him going for about 20 minutes, he gave up, then I called the real FBI.......... reported all threats and insinuations, gave them the number...........

Still waiting for the FBI to call me back.......

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338139 12/04/19
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 14,190
g5m Offline
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Originally Posted by mirage243
Just got a call from the nicest, most helpful people at Social Security Office. The government must have a program to hire immigrants, because all 3 of the people I spoke with had similar accents. The agent said he would do all he could to help keep me out of prison and then turned me over to 2 different enforcement officers who were equally interest in helping solve the problem. When I told him that I was on parole and would never be taken alive again, he didn't even flinch, not even after being told that I got a year in prison for stalking, murdering and cutting the head, hands and feet off of a phone scammer. His only comment was, "you only got a year for murder in Texas?" I said no, I'm in Georgia and the judge said it was justifiable homicide, but charged me with felony littering for throwing the body parts out the window driving home. He said he wasn't interested in sending me back to prison, but the problem was the car that was impounded in Texas that was rented to my name and SS number and when they checked my bank account the found that $240K had been wired to it from a foreign source. When I told him that a lawyer had called me from Nigeria informing me that a rich uncle had died and left me $250K in his will if I'd send them $5K for handling I figured that large bank deposit was just for that since I sent him the money over a month ago. At that point he insisted on my full social security number again to cross reference with the bank records. I told him I thought he was trying to trick me by keeping me on the line until the police got here and I needed to hang up to flee, but he insisted this could be worked out with a credit card purchase from Walmart. When the credit card number I offered didn't match the first one I gave him, he became really irate and called me a name and hung up. I really thought he wanted to help. I've gotta' write those credit card numbers down in the future so I can repeat 'em when they ask a second time.



Good for you. And entertaining for us.


Retired cat herder.

It's good to have friends.

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338147 12/04/19
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Posts: 4,433
KenMi Offline
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Turban headed shiitball called 3 times on Thanksgiving day. I asked him who in their right mind would think any government office would be open anywhere near a holiday. Ended those calls quick.

Another time I asked what part of Pakistan they were calling from. He said, "Don't worry about my country". I said, "I don't, cause it's a $hithole".

One I told what they were doing was bad karma and the next typhoon was going to sweep them out to sea

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338163 12/04/19
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Dillonbuck Offline
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They wanted to reduce my electric bill.
I ask if she could t it turned back on.
We hadn't been able to pay the bill.
The poor woman felt bad for me, said she was sorry we were
struggling.... I laughed and said "All BS, I was just Fan with you."
Felt kinda bad, she was nice.

Ask a Dot Head if he ate pork, took 3 tries to get him to understand.
The told him he should.

Ask them for a native English speaker. They get mad.

They were going to send me a check, needed info.
"My Dad is Vietnamese, I'll spell my name.
]P-H-U-C-K"

He interrupted me,
"Yes, and your last name is You, like F--k you?"
"Yep, you must know me."


The Alabama section of Pennsylvania.
Where we cling to our God and Guns.
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338167 12/04/19
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 18,621
700LH Offline
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Posts: 18,621
No one gets my number unless it is necessary, I don't answer unknown calls if you need to reach me leave a message.
Doubt I get a scam call over 3 or 4 times a year


“During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act.” ― George Orwell.

Member GOA,
Idaho 2nd Amendment Alliance,
Life NRA ;(

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: doubletap] #14338170 12/04/19
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 1,909
Ward Offline
Campfire Ranger
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Posts: 1,909
Originally Posted by doubletap
Just get a boat air horn. Talk softly so they turn up the volume and then give them a blast.


Used the boat air horn myself once at home. Bought a whole new set of cordless phones as a result. The one I was using and the base unit never worked again.

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338300 12/04/19
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 878
Phillip_Nesmith Offline
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Posts: 878
Originally Posted by mirage243
Just got a call from the nicest, most helpful people at Social Security Office. The government must have a program to hire immigrants, because all 3 of the people I spoke with had similar accents. The agent said he would do all he could to help keep me out of prison and then turned me over to 2 different enforcement officers who were equally interest in helping solve the problem. When I told him that I was on parole and would never be taken alive again, he didn't even flinch, not even after being told that I got a year in prison for stalking, murdering and cutting the head, hands and feet off of a phone scammer. His only comment was, "you only got a year for murder in Texas?" I said no, I'm in Georgia and the judge said it was justifiable homicide, but charged me with felony littering for throwing the body parts out the window driving home. He said he wasn't interested in sending me back to prison, but the problem was the car that was impounded in Texas that was rented to my name and SS number and when they checked my bank account the found that $240K had been wired to it from a foreign source. When I told him that a lawyer had called me from Nigeria informing me that a rich uncle had died and left me $250K in his will if I'd send them $5K for handling I figured that large bank deposit was just for that since I sent him the money over a month ago. At that point he insisted on my full social security number again to cross reference with the bank records. I told him I thought he was trying to trick me by keeping me on the line until the police got here and I needed to hang up to flee, but he insisted this could be worked out with a credit card purchase from Walmart. When the credit card number I offered didn't match the first one I gave him, he became really irate and called me a name and hung up. I really thought he wanted to help. I've gotta' write those credit card numbers down in the future so I can repeat 'em when they ask a second time.

Best laugh I've had today! grin

Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338412 12/04/19
Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 11,915
Tracks Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
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I just ask them, " If all you third world mofos have such high IQs, why can't you get a real job"?
I sometimes threaten to shoot their camels.


















Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338452 12/04/19
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 63,198
ironbender Online Happy
Campfire Oracle
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Posts: 63,198
That might be the same guy that wanted to send me a check for a piano for sale on Craigslist. His plan was to ship it to Texas.

Yeah, right.


If you take the time it takes, it takes less time.
--Pat Parelli

American by birth; Alaskan by choice.
--ironbender
Re: Interesting Phone Call [Re: mirage243] #14338668 Yesterday at 03:46 AM
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 34,000
hanco Online Content
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It’s free, need you to pay for shipping

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