Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Divorce advice for my brother

I called several lawyers during my divorce. The best one told me to try to work out the particulars between the two of us and write up an agreement. Then present it to him for him to make the agreement legal.

I realize that's not possible in many, if not most cases. But it's worth a try.

Absolutely, without a doubt, never leave the house.

God Bless him.

Lynn

Amen !

Lynn

Up.

Tell him to get the very best lawyer he can find. I did in my divorce and it was the difference between getting out OK and getting taken to the cleaners.

Tell him to move back into the house right now, go to another bedroom but DO NOT move out, it's no more her house than his. It sounds like he's only been gone a few days so he can undo it unlike if he'd been gone a month or two. By moving out he's basically giving her the house right off the bat and is starting from a weakened position.

And get the very best lawyer he can find, that one can't be repeated enough. Don't listen to anybody that says it doesn't make any difference, it does.

Beat the hell out of the son,probably the only pleasure you will get ,hurt him bad

1. He needs to lawyer up in a big way.
2. Refer to #1.

Half means half AFTER they got married, and stops at date of filing. That includes the value of the house and his retirement accounts, other assets. If he owned the house before the marriage, he is only responsible to pay her the appreciation on the asset from the point of marriage and until date of divorce filing. That's the way it worked in mine anyway, in FL. (FL is also a no-fault divorce state).





Not in FL.

Wishing him the best and some peace in the future.
I have been down this road, like so many others. It’s hard
as hell , but tell him to keep calm as he can. Sounds if she might go for some “immediate “ relief, ie funds instead of future funds or pension. Thank god mine wanted instant rewards and I was more than willing to sign on the dotted line. I wax miserable as hell for a while, and broke, but as I look back , was just a speed bump!

As far as his federal service pension she is only entitled to half of what funds he accrued while they were/are married.

Lynn

Divorce law is not my area of practice, and I am only saying the following based on what I've seen work for others, including my brother (i.e., this is not legal advice): Lie, hide, deceive, refuse to cooperate. A friend in a similar situation was able to keep the bulk of his wealth simply by refusing to cooperate with his ex-wife's attorney when they forced him to list all assets/accounts. Whenever they'd find something he hadn't disclosed he just wouldn't answer any questions or, if the judge forced him to, he'd tell long, convoluted stories that ended with "I forgot".

If the ex wife doesn't have a handle on where the assets are, it's actually not that hard to force her and her attorney to do their own digging and the odds are they'll miss a lot.

Just a page to look over that might give you some information that might give your brother a better idea of where he stands monetarily in this divorce.

https://www.opm.gov/search/#1402/divorce


Lynn

Get the best family law lawyer you can get it’s the best advice I can give you. I did and I got full custody of both my boys and the house. My youngest son was not quite 3 when I got custody. My ex wife got squat. My lawyer had been practicing for 30 years. Hers was 6 months out from passing the Barr.

Good luck to your brother.

All this would go away if she went away.

People disappear all the time. Fall down a well. Wander off with dementia. Climb a tree and forget how to get down. BTW, do you know why septic tanks have that access cover? Does he own an excavator? (they cover up a multitude of sins) Be a shame if there was a fatal bear mauling (bears love honey and bacon)

I hear stories occasionally of someone finding a car at the bottom of a lake that disappeared decades ago. How fast does her car go?

Where in WA?

If he’s in the TriCities, I can hook him up with a good divorce attorney.

I’ve been divorced in WA.

Miss Lynn’s advice is spot on.

With her bad health I’d move back in and play nice. She could drop dead at any minute. Accidentally OD on pain meds or fall down and hit her head. Who knows...

Unfortunately Miss Lynn learned the hard way.

Lynn

Such thoughtful sentiments, good man

Lynn

If he'da just killed her when he met her, he'd be out by now....

#1 is get a lawyer.
#2 tell him this is nothing but a business transaction. Keep all emotion out of it.
#3 no fault 50-50 only means if you take the total assets minus total debt, the remainder is split 50/50. If they own the house, he can sign it over and his half of the value can be used to bargain on his retirement. Its 50% of total assets, not actually splitting everything in half.
#4 tell him this is a business transaction and treat it as such. Keep emotion out of it
I just went through this over the last year in NY state
Tell him take it hour by hour sometimes. He'll get through it and be much happier when it's over.
Did I mention to tell him to treat it as a business transaction and keep emotion out of it? He'll be much better off.