Home Forums Miscellaneous Topics Humor, Jokes, and Riddles Mary and Faygin (Harry and Meghan)

I know these two are getting a lot of media attention. Perhaps not as much in the US, but in Canada there is a debate over the merits of having them living up here. The biggest thing is, no one is sure who is gonna foot the security bill. Movie stars, singers, etc. pay for their own security.

At any rate...



Mary and Faygin
- copyright 2020, Stephen Redgwell

Mary and Faygin,
Was lookin' for space,
Away from his granny,
And the grime of the place.

But bein' most royal,
Was a pain in the throne,
'Cause the folks with the cameras,
Wouldn't leave 'em alone.

Like his mum, he was fated,
In much the same way,
As poor, dead King Duncan,
In that old Scottish play.

Him and the missus,
Had been lookin' around,
For a spot to raise children,
On safe, solid ground

They knew that the island
Was not a good place
So they looked at some options
Where they wouldn't be chased

But the problems was many
'Cause wherever they'd go
Their troubles would follow
Just like a dutch hoe.

And they wasn't too welcome
By most common folk
The cost to maintain 'em
Was a taxation yoke.

They might be nice people
But the price was too high
To look after the couple
When they was nearby.

It sucks bein' royal
So says the mob
You can quit bein' princely
But you can't quit the job!

10X !!!

Harry and Meghan's new Canadian "Unofficial, Unroyal" Residence to be Called Toadmore Cottage
- Raunchley Peters, Cdn News Network


photo courtesy of Fox News
Meghan, Meghan's father, Thomas, and Harry

Apparently, Harry and Meghan are angry with both their royal and unroyal families. The word on Vancouver streets is that Harry is looking for a certain Vancouver Island residence with a specific look. It's Meghan's wish to have something 'faux Tudor'. The couple wish to call it Toadmore Cottage. And by the way, if you're British, and royal, cottage is pronounced Cah-TAWJE. Originally, the couple wanted to call it Wind Sore Castle, but their advisors thought that might be a little much.

Naturally, the Palace is tight lipped about "the little bump in the road" between the Queen and her cheeky grandson. The staff is used to troubles with the junior royals, but as the Queen gets older, she has little time for naughty boys. It was difficult enough being a mother, watching your son, Charles, mess up, but it was a double whammy for the Queen to see her grandchildren left to her son after Diana's premature death in 1997.

Whatever was said during the royal family's private meeting will never be known, but one thing is for sure, Diana's presence was strongly felt by all in the room. Unfortunately for William, the oldest must, in many ways, become like his father. Secretly, I think that bothers William, but being in line for the throne, and the responsibilities that come with it, cannot be ignored. Still, could he be jealous of his little brother?

While we can only speculate about the royal meeting, Meghan's father, Thomas, was more open with his criticism of his daughter. Essentially, he blames Meghan for the royal mess. He accused her of "cheapening the royal family". He also wants her in court to dispel the lies he says were said about him. Despite being on the queen's side, Thomas Markle cannot seem to get through on the phone to his son in law's 'gram' though.

So that's a bit more of what's happening in the continuing saga of the royals, Toadmore Cottage and buttocks. Well, there were no buttocks talked about until the end.

- Raunchly Peters, CdnNN

The Queen Will Permit Harry to "Have a go at Canadian television."
Copyright 2020 - Rauchley Peters, Canadian Network News


The Queen

It was no surprise last week when the Queen announced that Harry had been given permission to sign a television deal with Canadian broadcaster, CBC. The trouble was, no one on this side of the Atlantic heard anything about it.

Palace officials explained that it was missed by everyone in Canada because,

"No one watches the CBC anymore. They sacked Don Cherry."

Harry will either host a midday talk show, "Hanging Out with Harry" or replace the aging David Suzuki as host of "The Nature of Things". The prince has insisted that if he's to be involved, there has to be a title change to the old show. If they want me, the new name will be, "Why Stuff Happens"

A palace spokesman said the Queen was not concerned that Harry might make a fool of himself, or further embarrass the family.

Palace Secretary Sir Derwent Cumberland explained the Queen's reasoning,

"Most Canadians watch American television and listen to American artists on the radio. According to their government watchdog, Statistics Canada, only 12 to 15 people watch CBC at any given time. Things like the Trump impeachment, American soaps and America's Got Talent get most of their attention. Harry could host the show starkers, but no one would notice."

The Queen's husband, Prince Philip couldn't keep from putting in his twopence about everything. He said,

"Crown Royal is passable whiskey. It's certainly better than our single malts. And that's coming from someone who doesn't understand baseball..."

The Queen is expected to issue another statement on CBC shortly. But like the first time, it's unlikely anyone will notice...