Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire How to get a hot neighbor to move in next door?

Once you get rid of that neighbor with or without the 18 year old daughter.

Buy the house, only rent it to hotties


Next

You forgot the important part; a hot, horny for you, neighbor

First put in a pool and serve free mojitos too?

that way the hotties can invite BFFs.

Geno

PS works best in a college town I think. One with a good conservative religious college so you know the gheys don't show up too?

Is that why you buy all the duplexes near Austin Peay? Lol

Put out a sign that says, “Hotties get 1/2 off their rent”

I’d ask Paul Barnard.

first step, move into a neighborhood where you are 28 and everyone else is 83

then play the odds as houses become available.

Step 1, rent the house next door
Step 2, put out a "free meth for hotties" sign in front
Step 3 ... just wait for all the hotties to show up

Meth makes ‘em look ten or twenty years older pretty quick.

Never do the neighbor unless you want to keep them forever

Pee in the front yard.

If you’re lucky they come in threes.
lol

Step #1 Be rich
Step #2 Make sure the local female population KNOWS your rich, (Corvette, large gold chains, Hawaiian shirts and boat shoes ALWAYS)

What a bunch of maroon.

The surest way to have a hottie move in next door is to get married. Then hotties have nothing better to do than move in next door once you are off the market.

I can't prove that theory as it has never happened to me, single or married.

There’s a book at the library on that EXACT subject!

Look in the “Fiction” section

Neighbor gal and her husband show offs.
She mowed the yard in a bikini, while he weightlifted in the driveway.
Fought like cats n dogs.
She got a new set of boobs and came over to show my ol lady (I was at work dammit).
Divorce soon followed (theirs).

At work several gals got new racks, and within short order they all split.

Seems to be a pattern (everybody gets to see the new goods but me).

I moved a few yrs back, no hotties in my hood.
Nice gal next door, but a big un.
Other is 80 something.

Well, If you want to see the "new goods".....................you could always go to a plastic surgeon that specializes in those things and tell them you're thinking of gettin a new set for the wife. But just like booking a hunt requires asking for references................................you want to see examples of their work..................in the flesh of course to make sure they ain't doin' the photoshop thing.

Geno

Y'all have covered most of the important parts, but let me review. I spent 10 years within walking distance of the University of Cincinnati campus and the Nursing College.

1) There's nothing worse than having a hot one move next door and she's not interested in you. Nurses all seemed to be interested in bagging a doctor.
2) Oh, I forget! Yes there is. You finally get to nail one of the hotties, and she turns out to be a creepy skank and you can't get rid of her, because she's your neighbor. I had one jiggle the lock one night and get stuck halfway in the door, because I'd put the chain on.
3) Then there's the pro that moves in. Yikes. I had a skank with a coinslot living in my place before I moved in. For the first 5 years, I had drunk out-of-town businessmen showing up at my door wanting to party with Bev!
4) They all seem to talk to each other. If you break up with one, they all know and now you're the pariah for the next 4 years.
5) Don't ever date your own tenants. They think they can get away with free rent and you can't evict them. Luckily I never fell into that trap, but I had a friend that did.
6) Before asking a neighbor out, make sure you check for an Adam's Apple and also slash marks on the wrists. I had a buddy who dated a chick he met at the corner bar. She always wore long-sleeve turtlenecks. I had to tell him that Frankie was a guy.
7) Don't date nymphomanics. I had a friend that was a trumpet major. He thought it would be a grand adventure to play in the clown band at DisneyWorld. He had to play the same 10 minute set every hour for an 8 hour shift dressed in a clown outfit. He didn't last the summer. Dating nymphomanics is a similar commitment.

Believe me, it's better to date strangers from across town than your neighbors.

There's a 1-10 scale of homeliness to hotness. Unfortunately there's also a crazy scale, also 1-10. They tend to align. If she's a 9 on the hotness scale, she's probably somewhere between 8 and 10 on the crazy scale. A solid 7/5 rating beats a 9/10 any day of the week. No matter how good she looks, there's probably a guy somewhere who's fed up with her drama!
Jerry

Buy the place run banner ads for rent by the hour on tender

LOL, damn men, secret is to marry a hottie, then you'll always have one, but, the older we get, the hotter she gets, oh hell!

Sounds like you and me's paddling from the same boat Buddy! ; ]

Not really. My ex went from a solid 8-9 to a commanding 4-5 in no time. Personality went to 0. If you want a hottie next door decide how long you want to live there. I lived in one house 34 yrs. They do change. And so do we

What he said ^

I dated more than my share of hotties due to vocation. Lot of them crazy for sure


Ultimately married a hottie w her head screwed on right. Wasn’t quite sure they existed till then.


32 years & 3 kids later couldn’t be happier

Rule: Never fuaq anyone you work with or live next door to. Learned this rule the 'hard' way.

Dang right Buddy, hotties can be intelligent too, a young hottie ask me once many decades ago, don't you think I'm pretty? I said hell yes, you're beautiful, but, that's from your parents, God or luck, nothing you did or earned, what else do you have to bring to the table? she looked like I just hit her in the face with a hubcap fulla dog crap.

I went on to tell her we're ALL going to get old and ugly, look at our parents..................funny thing is, our parents were in their mid 40's then..........wouldn't you like to have that back????? hell, mid 40's IS a hot young chick NOW! ; ]

I've done that. Don't need to rent to a hottie I can't hit. Very frustrating.

Learn how to play a rocking guitar....

that's hilarious!

Plant 4 Sumac trees along your fenceline.
Hot chicks that rent or buy homes cant resist Sumac trees.
Ornamental tree leg spreader.
Fact...........

I too have heard it's next to impossible for women to resist standing timber! ; ]

This! One of the best codes a man could live by!

But then you'll have to figure out how to kill them without the hotties knowing that you killed them so that you can see them sunbathing in their bikinis .

You're far better off getting a neighbor who has a couple of 12 and 14 year old sons who like to mow lawns for a couple of $$.

L.W.

What God or MONEY hath put together, let no put asunder. I think it's reasonable to assert, many hot woman will sell themselves for money.

Get a 38 Super to pull in some hotties.

don't be thinkin' about my neighbor girl now.........

I like it. Two tone gold and nickel would be pimpalicious.