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https://taskandpurpose.com/alaska-airman-pee-coffee-maker

Survival expert and former Special Air Service commando Edward "Bear" Grylls made meme history for drinking his own urine to survive his TV show, Man vs. Wild. But the United States Air Force did Bear one better recently, when an Alaska-based airman peed in an office coffee maker.
While the circumstances of the bladder-based brew remain a mystery, the incident was written up in a newsletter written by the legal office of Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson on February 13, a base spokesman confirmed to Task & Purpose.
According to the newsletter, which appeared on the popular Facebook page Air Force amn/nco/snco the same day, an unnamed Airman First Class was busted down to Airman Basic and received a reprimand in part "for failure to refrain from urinating in the office coffee maker."

In doing so, the airman violated Article 92, dereliction of duty, the newsletter said.
Urine aside, the language of the blotter item is fascinating in itself. Perhaps there is a legal reason for using the phrase "failure to refrain," but it makes it sound as if we, the human species, are all on the verge of urinating in our respective coffee makers, and it is only by the better angels of our nature that we collectively resist the temptation.
Though this airman failed to resist such a normal human urge, it should be noted that he has a history of doing his or her own thing. According to the blotter, the Airman also violated Article 86, absent without leave, for a five-day absence. The airman had previously received 5 letters of reprimand, the blotter said.
No matter how many LORs he or she has, the mystery airman was the toast of Air Force amn/nco/snco last week, garnering 2,300 reactions, 647 comments and 401 shares.
"I feel like there is more to the story" wrote one commenter. "Can someone post the other 5 LORs please... this kid sounds like a legend."
"It's not about the money at this point, it's about sending a message," added another.
"Clearly this Airman is dedicated to the cause of getting kicked the F—K out," declared a third. "But he shows potential. Let's give him a chance or two. Manning is low and we need the body guys."


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Muzzy dimocrap?


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Had a guy it the office doing that years ago. Fortunately I’m not a coffee drinker!


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It's been cold out. I've had GI coffee - Army.

I have no idea how they caught this guy...... it certainly wasn't by taste. smile


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He should have been tossed out of the Air Force upon being found guilty. Why would he even want to stay given the gossip and being the butt of jokes.

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What was that guy's name on MASH? Ah, Klinger.


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It sounds like they are slapping his wrist.
In civilian life, I'm pretty sure he would find a felony.

Seems odd they aren't more harsh on this.


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In the old days the coffee drinkers would have beat him to a pulp and washed out the pot.


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Originally Posted by Hancock27
In the old days the coffee drinkers would have beat him to a pulp and washed out the pot.

That could still happen.


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I’m glad I don’t drink coffee, that’s happened a lot.

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Originally Posted by Dillonbuck
In civilian life, I'm pretty sure he would find a felony.


That and a good ass beating.


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That’s a good website,..weird story though.

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A guy [danny] that i worked offshore drilling with told of putting 10 hits of Acid in the CO's coffe pot . They then watched and laughed as they tripped out . All of the drinkers of the coffee went to medical and had 2 days off .
They weren't caught , Danny regretted it after becoming a Christian .


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I knew a guy who was in the navy, served on a battleship in 1989 and 1990. He said he knew guys who worked in the kitchen, and when it was time to cook up dinner for the officers, there was some funny business going on with the food.

So, if you are a high ranking naval officer better be nice to those cooks they have some nasty ways to get revenge.

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Originally Posted by Dillonbuck
It sounds like they are slapping his wrist.
In civilian life, I'm pretty sure he would find a felony.

Seems odd they aren't more harsh on this.

Yup. Like the pizza "chef" that got a felony for rubbing his scrotum on a pizza...


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Originally Posted by simonkenton7
I knew a guy who was in the navy, served on a battleship in 1989 and 1990. He said he knew guys who worked in the kitchen, and when it was time to cook up dinner for the officers, there was some funny business going on with the food.

So, if you are a high ranking naval officer better be nice to those cooks they have some nasty ways to get revenge.



That’s funny, except if someone got hurt or lost their job.

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Originally Posted by 12344mag
Originally Posted by Dillonbuck
In civilian life, I'm pretty sure he would find a felony.


That and a good ass beating.


Can’t believe he was not kicked out, urine usually is pretty sterile but other stuff isn’t. Seems they oughtta draw a hard line against messing around with peoples’ food.


"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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As somebody in the article said, the guy is clearly doing whatever mischief he can in order to get kicked out of the service. So that's exactly what they aren't going to do. They'll assign him to the crappiest jobs they can, restrict his every move, and NOT kick him out. The latter is his worst punishment. He's got several years of misery coming.


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Originally Posted by Hancock27
In the old days the coffee drinkers would have beat him to a pulp and washed out the pot.


That is what should happen. I have zero tolerance for that type of bullsh!t.


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We had a guy in the factory go and get a supervisor's hardhat from the super's office. He then took a healthy dump in said hardhat, and put it back in the closet from where it came.

I witnessed the supervisor at 7:00 AM carry the hardhat into a bathroom and drop it into a garbage can. It took a couple weeks for word to get around as to why he tossed his hardhat.

After retirement, a shift electritrian finally claimed credit for the dastardley deed.


People who choose to brew up their own storms bitch loudest about the rain.
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