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Dad cut his casts off his feet after he broke them at jump school.



He didnt want anyone too see he was busted up.


I am MAGA.
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Some pretty unusual stuff comes in the ER's/ED's.


Retired cat herder.


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Originally Posted by Steve
"Hey, what's the dog chewing on?"


It's not a fun day when this happens.

My neighbor had this fricken beagle named Buddy. Buddy the beagle was a menace to society. I think that bastard bit the UPS guy 3 or 4 times and got a couple of the neighborhood kids a few times as they rode their bikes. I'm surprised he never got sued.

One day I went over to his house to talk to him about something and I knew Buddy was inside. Figured I was safe. That was my first mistake. So I go to the front door and ring the doorbell and I was going to tell Bob to meet me out by the garage. His stupid daughter, 30 something year old, comes to the door and opens it wide up. Buddy shoots out of there airborne like a rocket and bit me twice before he hit the ground. It was like a bolt of lightning. So I jumped inside the house and slammed the door leaving Buddy outside. She says, "Oh my God, did he just bite you?" DUH. I said yes and asked where her father was. She said he ran up to the store and would be home soon and then asked if I was alright. I told her I was fine and that I'd stop by later. So I left out through the garage and got into my truck. It was in the Summer time, so I was wearing shorts. I looked down and my pants were turning red. I rushed home and checked it out. The bastard laid open my left nut and got me in the thigh.

After I got the bleeding under control, I rushed to the ER. I ended up with a male nurse luckily. As I sat there while he was stitching me up, I told him how embarrassing this was. He said that this is nothing, I was the victim of a dog attack. He said that you wouldn't believe all of the schit he's pulled out of dude's asses. I ended up with 4 stitches in the nut and a puncture wound to the leg. The leg was the worst believe it or not. If he wasn't my neighbor, I would have called the cops.

Now hitting it with 1" staples yourself? That dude had balls of steel........ or a ball of steel.


"Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem."
Ronald Reagan
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Sorry to hear about yer left nut. That dog needs to be destroyed.

Last edited by High_Noon; 06/25/20.

l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
- Del Gue
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Originally Posted by High_Noon
Sorry to hear about yer left nut.


Yeah, you shoulda at least gotten a Corvette outa the deal. Lotsa guys here can just go buy one if they want it, but I can't. I'd give my left nut for a split-window coupe.


Don't be the darkness.

America will perish while those who should be standing guard are satisfying their lusts.


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I wouldn't. I need my nuts.


l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
- Del Gue
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Originally Posted by slumlord
Hold into the wind.


That made me laugh harder than the OP nicely played.

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I'd say that's one ballsy MFer, but I guess that would only be half right.


The older I become the more I am convinced that the voice of honor in a man's heart is the voice of GOD.
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Originally Posted by Armednfree
I'd say that's one ballsy MFer, but I guess that would only be half right.



He's lucky he didn't go off half-cocked!


"I can't be canceled, because, I don't give a fuuck!"
--- Kid Rock 2022


Holocaust Deniers, the ultimate perverted dipchits: Bristoe, TheRealHawkeye, stophel, Ghostinthemachine, anyone else?
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I did that once but used a nail gun. Healed right up. Gotta use galvanized.



A wise man is frequently humbled.

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On the serious side, years ago some kids playing in a city park near here found a couple slimy odd shaped things along the creek bank. They told their parents who took 1 look and called the police. They were a pair of human testicles. The police found the guy a few days later. He was screwed up in the head to say the least. He'd convinced himself that they were diseased and killing him so he cut them out himself. I can't imagine....


“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell

It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Back in about 1930, my Dad's "Ungle Bug" lived on a ranch out in New Mexico. At the time, it was a 1/2 day drive to any town, let alone a hospital, if you had a car which they didn;t. Well, Uncle Bug was repairing a sadle one day, working to poke a hole in a styup with an awl. He slipped and stabbed a testicle. It got all infected, so a few days later he sharpened his pocket knife, slit open his sack, and cut that testicle off! They say he about bled out.

Good God! I come from some tough stock.

Dad said he never saw Uncle Bug wear anything but coveralls. When he died, they bought him a new pair to be burried in.

That story was told many times around camp fires and such. They whole family knew the story of Uncle Bug.

When I die, I'll look for the old guy in the "Tough Sumbitches" section just inside the pearly gates. I believe he likely lives in the big mansion on the end the street.

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That guy should have read the thread on superglue.


mike r


Don't wish it were easier
Wish you were better

Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that.
Craig Douglas ECQC
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Originally Posted by High_Noon
I wouldn't. I need my nuts.



Uncle Bug only needed one. What you need two for?


Don't be the darkness.

America will perish while those who should be standing guard are satisfying their lusts.


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Originally Posted by RiverRider
Originally Posted by High_Noon
I wouldn't. I need my nuts.


Uncle Bug only needed one. What you need two for?


Really? I've got a helluva lotta' seed to spread. I've been doing more than my part to rebuild the white population in this country.

Last edited by High_Noon; 06/25/20.

l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
- Del Gue
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Originally Posted by RiverRider
Originally Posted by High_Noon
I wouldn't. I need my nuts.



Uncle Bug only needed one. What you need two for?


Balance.

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