Jeebus.....clip your damn toenails.
My first thought.
When I sleep with you, then you can gripe. DON'T hold your breath.
A twice broken back, shoulder injuries, and a bad hip make reaching them a real problem anymore. I wish that such a simple task were all that simple. I'd love to, and they grow Fast.
Funny, I see beards and think "shave those food-feted bird's nests off".