Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire "Temperance" - How did you aquire it.?

Sad to hear, I am bent that way a tad myself.
Prayer and sweaty exercise is the antidote for me.
Anger is judgement, of you and them....find a way to reduce this. It is doable .God Bless

Perhaps now we're getting somewhere.

I dont know this God/Jesus.
Thought I did, might even have preached him to several thousand... but his style, his way of being, escapes me.

I found myself last night at sunset until dark in the wood sitting on a rock, soaking the ground under me with sweat and tears whispering out to the universe, to god, to my concept of this Jesus, to who ever or whatever is out there, is up there to "fix" me...
Its humiliating for me to say that, its humiliating for me to ask these questions here on the 'fire, but I am desperate for a solution, for a change... No, I'm not self loathing, but I'm so very much wanting to be a better man.

I played Black Sabbath at 78 speed and saw God.

Also

Gunga Galunga......

Its a fruit of the Holy Spirit, available to believers IF they will take advantage of it, and yes this means me......bigly. You have to be like Peter when he walked on the water......keep your eyes on the Lord so you don't sink. No I don't always do it.....do as I say not as I do.... That does not mean it doesn't work when you work it.

Anger on the other hand in a lot of cases (me) is a practiced habit. If you are ALWAYS muttering at the other drivers when you are on the road......you are practicing it. When Maxine Waters comes on TV, if you always call her a James Brown looking stupid ass low IQ bitch.....you are practicing. When Pelosi comes on and you always say you would like to knock the false teeth outta her head with a piece of rebar you are practicing.

I've always had temper problems. I've gotten skilled over the years at internalizing it but that is not good.....better to not get mad in the first place. It is a form of self discipline to bite your tongue at let things go when you are mad as a Jap inside but wouldn't it be nice if whatever it was didn't bother you to begin with?



Maybe one day.

I can tell you the events of this year have not helped me.

Will do.

I'll try anything.!


I have a very gentle side, a meek side, I can even be empathetic and understanding, and even at times roll with it.
But then there is this Monster within, that is so full of hurt that immediately becomes angry, frustrated, and defensive...so vengeful and roars.

I'd like to kill that monstrous aspect of me, bury him deep in the ground, and be free of his destruction.


I'll check our Niebuhr's poems.

Thats how I am too.

LMAO.!

This is the definition of Temperance that I think of. There's a Temperance Creek in Hells Canyon where a mule fell off a cliff that was carrying a barrel of whiskey.

tem·per·ance
/ˈtemp(ə)rəns/
noun
noun: temperance
abstinence from alcoholic drink.
"the temperance movement"

Before you blow up on someone, which we all have, take a second to strategize how is the best way to communicate this problem so that the other person will actually hear it and take responsibility for it. If you are expecting them to take responsibility for their actions or problem, you take responsibility for your message.

Everyone has a boiling point, but when you're dealing with a problem or an axshole, doubling down on axshole yourself isn't effective. It puts them on the defensive and they then have less trust and respect for you. By giving yourself time to build a response, you are back in charge of your emotions rather than letting loose an uncontrollable bear to handle the problem/person. Maintain control and then communicate it in a way that they will receive the message.

this guy is right. get your blood pressure checked now.

could be what is triggering your stress response.

silent killer

+1

Pick up a book called Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. He was a Roman Emperor who embraced stoicism.

It's basically a journal of his thoughts on how to not give in to the urge to choke the crap out of people who desperately needed it.

I think I understand you, as I have had a similar though perhaps slightly less severe issue with it. If it was as easy as just "choosing" to let it roll off your back, or just not letting things bother you, you wouldn't be here asking these questions. I've struggled with controlling my anger since I was a small child, and I'm still not perfect at it.

I have only one suggestion, and maybe it sounds a little strange but I found it effective. Meditation. I found this probably the most helpful practice to reduce my anger, stress and anxiety. Doesn't take long, maybe 10-15 minutes, but I makes a huge difference.

I recently had a visit from a cousin of mine I hadn't seen in 20 years.He was always a very confident, upbeat guy, pilot for a major airline now. In the course of our conversation this topic came up and I kinda sheepishly mentioned meditation. He laughed and said that was exactly what had helped him too. I was kinds shocked, and I would not have expected him to be the sort of fellow to have any anxiety issues, but there ya go. There is different methods out there, and it takes some practice to make it effective but I really think it could help.

Might sound trite, but you've recognized the problem and have expressed a desire to fix it. Those are 2 very important tools to start your work with.

I had a helluva temper, but have mellowed as I've aged. Mostly I try to remember to think before reacting. Guy cuts me off in traffic? He's a dickhead or an [bleep], right? Maybe he is, or maybe he has a sick kid on his mind, or is going through a divorce or any number of other crappy scenarios. I don't always catch myself before reacting, but I often do and I believe that it's because I try to keep those types of thoughts in my mind.

I do believe that as you start to make an effort and begin to see small changes in yourself, it becomes a bit easier.

When you put someone down, it says more about you than them, right? That's what you're recognizing and are unhappy with yourself about. So, the flipside to that, is when someone puts you down, why is it again about you and not them? Or, when you attack someone else, you beat yourself up for it. When someone attacks you, you take it to heart (and retaliate) rather than putting it back on them like you should.

Own what is yours, and let them own what is theirs. Be slow to take offense by recognizing a jackwagon when you see one.

My blood pressure is pretty low probably due to diet, lifestyle, and perhaps Mom's genetics. Dad had problems with his. I have one of those cuff monitors that used to belong to Dad and I checked mine one day after I had come unglued over something I can't even remember. It was up but not crazy up.

Probably worse is the stress hormone cortisol. It was designed to help us "fight" or "flight"........not meant to stay elevated all the time because you always want to choke your boss or whatever.

Or you could stop restraining yourself and go all in. We had one fella on here did that, he stole an ambulance and went for a joyride.

The main reason I quit drinking.I was a nasty MF when drunk.Looked for a fight wherever I could find one.Lucky I did`nt kill someone or get killed.I got tired of always being wired and quit drinking.Now something can happen to me that I can walk away from it,but I still think you are lucky you did not know me 36 years ago.

no hard booze for me either anymore wife and i agreed on,i only have a few cold beers once in awhile . yes your right when i drank whiskey i felt like Tarzan and did get into plenty trouble i look back now and wonder how i lived thru all that bad crap i did.

Same here. I suspect it came from my Mother.