Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Terminal illness

Cancer sucks.

Cancer sucks.

I'd take him to the Mayo Clinic and get a real opinion.

I doubt that diagnosis was given by anybody worth a fugk in their profession.

As with many of you, my father died of cancer, in his case, pancreatic. He's been gone 21 years now. My parents had been married 49 years. Mom took care of dad as he slowly degraded until she needed help from hospice. All three of us kids did what we could to help, as we had all stayed nearby. Mom was in her 60's at that time. Of course it was terrible and hard on us all, but especially her. She was home with dad when he reached his hands up high in the air while laying in bed, as if reaching for something unseen, and breathing his last breath. He'd been sick 7 months and bed-ridden and mute for three weeks. I was there within a few minutes, and held my dads hand as his body began to cool off.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was holding his hand, when all of a sudden I kind of recoiled, sat up straight, let go of his hand and said, "That's not my dad!" I still believe to this day I felt his spirit leave his body. His pain was over, and for that we were thankful at least.

She remarried a few years later and has been married a dozen years or so. Jim's been a great stepfather to me, and husband to my mom. He's in his 90's but he's just "Jim", fully in possession of all his faculties. We have great conversations on all sorts of deep topics and he's got a great sense of humor. He has become a very dear friend and trusted mentor. Up until last week he walked a couple miles a day, with a walker in their little gated community. He and mom decided Jim would go see his kids for a few days while mom dealt with a flooring contractor replacing the carpet in their house with hardwood. Jim gets upset when he questions why this or that is done a certain way. LOL. They thought it would be easier if Jim visited family and mom handled the contractors.

He came home yesterday complaining of back pain and by last night they had to get him to the hospital.

Today we learned that Jim has Stage Four pancreatic cancer and has a few months to live. Jim has been preparing for years to meet the Lord, downsizing houses and getting rid of "stuff", setting up the finances and so forth as best as he could for the eventuality that he would leave my mom widowed again.

My mom called crying and struggled to tell us. I worry for her now that she's in her mid 80's. There's no way she can physically handle this again, and emotionally I worry for her as Jim has been a very in-charge and strong husband figure in her life. She has really learned to depend on him for everything.

My mom has another tough road ahead of her. Very heartbroken for her as I write this. I live 200 miles away and am not going to be able to be available like I was when dad passed. I pray Jims family can step in. I wonder what I should do. How I can best support them from afar. I'm self-employed so I can shut it down and go at some point, but I do have financial responsibilities at home.

Damn it. It feels like cancer is taking someone before their time. Must sound strange saying that about someone in their 90's, but Jim isn't old to me, he's just "Jim", my stepfather and good friend. The world's about to get a little bit smaller as we lose another great one.

Please say a prayer for our family if you wouldn't mind. Going to be a tough road for mom.

Honest question.

Do you think there is a doctor somewhere that would fight for a mans life in their 90's with stage 4 cancer? I honestly don't know. I could add he's beaten other types of cancer at least three times before! Super positive, move forward kind of guy.