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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,651
Campfire Outfitter
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OP
Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 8,651 |
I've decided that I'm not going to work today...
I thought I might try to lighten the mood here on the 'Fire with a little humor. Warning: not new jokes, just a few that make me smile a little!
/John
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An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution for his client convicted of murder. His last minute plea for clemency to the governor had failed and he was feeling worn out and depressed.
As soon as he walked through the door at home, his wife started on him, 'What time of night to be getting home is this? Where have you been? Dinner is cold and I'm not reheating it'. And on and on and on.
Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he poured himself a shot of whiskey and headed off for a long hot soak in the bathtub, pursued by his wife’s predictable sarcastic remarks as he dragged himself up the stairs.
While he was in the bath, the phone rang. The wife answered and was told that her husband's client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight.
Finally realizing what a terrible day he must have had, she decided to go upstairs and give him the good news.
As she opened the bathroom door, she was greeted by the sight of her husband, bent over naked, drying his legs and feet.
'They're not hanging Wright tonight!' she said.
He whirled around and screamed, 'For the love of god woman, don't you ever stop?'
Last edited by jpb; 08/05/20. Reason: fixing a double post
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,421
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,421 |
Why do husbands always die before their wives?
Because they want to.
"Those that think they know everything are annoying those of us that have Google." - Dr. D. Edward Wilkinson
Note to self: Never ask an old Fogey how he is doing today.
Revised note to self: Keep it short when someone asks how I am doing.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,259
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 10,259 |
"...A man's rights rest in three boxes: the ballot box, the jury box and the cartridge box..." Frederick Douglass, 1867
( . Y . )
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Joined: May 2018
Posts: 1,503
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: May 2018
Posts: 1,503 |
Old guy, old guns.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,495
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 19,495 |
Retired cat herder.
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 10,258 |
Ed
A person who asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes the person who never asks is a fool forever.
The worst slaves are those that put the chains on themselves.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,070
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 32,070 |
The only true cost of having a dog is its death.
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