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#15215475 09/11/20
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NVhntr Offline OP
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Well now that we've run down the hoarders, gougers, payday lenders, title lenders, and pawn brokers, who else belongs on the lowest of the low list?
I nominate Morticians.
You know the type. "Don't you think your loving grandma deserves a much nicer casket that that? Wouldn't you like one of the plots on the hillside with a better view? You'll feel bad if you don't give your father the full embalming. You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."

Necessary evil? Know any morticians?


Let's Go Brandon! FJB
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Death is big business in America. It’s a huge ripoff to the American public. Those guys definitely play off of the emotions of those grieving the loss of their loved ones.


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Personally, I'm an anti-Dentite.

Last edited by High_Noon; 09/11/20.

l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
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I know that folks are just dying to see them. whistle

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Book
The American Way of Death.

IC B2

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Let's be honest, aren't most necrophiliacs?

If youve ever been around a decomp, and liked it, you're weird...

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One of my best friend is a Mortician. Came up together duck hunting........ Not weird at all but no humor in him to be seen.....


If it ain't broke don't fix it!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hahaha!

Sunsabitches!


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NVhntr Offline OP
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I went to church with a Mortician when I was younger and still going to church. He was a happy, cheerful guy. His family lived upstairs in the mortuary building, his kids had the run of the place except for the morgue area.
I thought it was kind of wierd.


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My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad.


Life is good live it while you can.
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As one of our former tenants said "Burn me!"
We did - he'd lived here for ~ 20 years, and told us we were his only family!


I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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NVhntr Offline OP
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Originally Posted by TrueGrit
My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad.


I wish that option was available to me. They kind of frown on backyard burials in Henderson.


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I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.

His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.


The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.

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Always wanted to party crash a funeral, they always have a big party platter of Jersey Mike’s mini subs or several buckets of fried chicken. No one knows anyone. Especially it its like some old guy that worked at TVA or Trane/American Standard. 300-400 people show up. Just blend in

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My wifes urn sits on the mantel now and mine is in a gun safe waiting on me. It will be up to my son what he does after I am gone. If he would take us to the Keys a dump us in the water, that would be fine with me.

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Quote
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."
Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box.

FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation.


“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell

It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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NVhntr Offline OP
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Originally Posted by slumlord
He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.


Haha! The mortuary most of my family uses has candy dishes out in the visiting rooms. I guess sweets make the ordeal go down easier.
I'd prefer they had a wet bar available, but the drink prices would probably be steep.


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Originally Posted by slumlord
I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.

His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.


The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.



Haha.

Paintin pictures with words.


Dave

�The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it.� Lou Holtz



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Originally Posted by Rock Chuck
Quote
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."
Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box.

FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation.



A vault is required in our cemetery so that when digging we don't disturb the dead and move their bones around.

A real pain in the ass when your digging a grave and the one next to it cave and spews bones into the one you're digging.


Paul

"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.

Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.

molɔ̀ːn labé skýla

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"Lean me up beside the Jukebox, when I'm gone." My family knows, some ashes at Elk camp, the rest at fish camp! Grandson said, he hook me up to a leaf blower! For my last blow job! Smartass youngsters anyway!

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