24hourcampfire.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Hop To
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4
Morticians #15215475 09/11/20
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
NVhntr Offline OP
Campfire Tracker
OP Offline
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
Well now that we've run down the hoarders, gougers, payday lenders, title lenders, and pawn brokers, who else belongs on the lowest of the low list?
I nominate Morticians.
You know the type. "Don't you think your loving grandma deserves a much nicer casket that that? Wouldn't you like one of the plots on the hillside with a better view? You'll feel bad if you don't give your father the full embalming. You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."

Necessary evil? Know any morticians?


Steve
BP-B2

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215487 09/11/20
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,837
antlers Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 13,837
Death is big business in America. It’s a huge ripoff to the American public. Those guys definitely play off of the emotions of those grieving the loss of their loved ones.


Every day on this side of the ground is a win.
Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215490 09/11/20
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,513
High_Noon Online Content
Campfire Guide
Online Content
Campfire Guide
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,513
Personally, I'm an anti-Dentite.

Last edited by High_Noon; 09/11/20.

l told my pap and mam I was going to be a mountain man; acted like they was gut-shot. Make your life go here. Here's where the peoples is. Mother Gue, I says, the Rocky Mountains is the marrow of the world, and by God, I was right.
- Del Gue
Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215494 09/11/20
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 9,389
P
plainsman456 Offline
Campfire Outfitter
Offline
Campfire Outfitter
P
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 9,389
I know that folks are just dying to see them. whistle

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215495 09/11/20
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,854
2
257_X_50 Offline
Campfire Guide
Offline
Campfire Guide
2
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,854
Book
The American Way of Death.

IC-A

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215515 09/11/20
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,840
J
Jackson_Handy Offline
Campfire Ranger
Offline
Campfire Ranger
J
Joined: Apr 2018
Posts: 1,840
Let's be honest, aren't most necrophiliacs?

If youve ever been around a decomp, and liked it, you're weird...

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215539 09/11/20
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,112
fuzzytail Offline
Campfire Regular
Offline
Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,112
One of my best friend is a Mortician. Came up together duck hunting........ Not weird at all but no humor in him to be seen.....


If it ain't broke don't fix it!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215557 09/11/20
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 31,841
Jim_Conrad Offline
Campfire Oracle
Offline
Campfire Oracle
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 31,841
Hahaha!

Sunsabitches!

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215559 09/11/20
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
NVhntr Offline OP
Campfire Tracker
OP Offline
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
I went to church with a Mortician when I was younger and still going to church. He was a happy, cheerful guy. His family lived upstairs in the mortuary building, his kids had the run of the place except for the morgue area.
I thought it was kind of wierd.


Steve
Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215560 09/11/20
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,941
T
TrueGrit Offline
Campfire Ranger
Offline
Campfire Ranger
T
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,941
My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad.


Life is good live it while you can.
IC-B

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215566 09/11/20
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,301
M
mark shubert Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
M
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 12,301
As one of our former tenants said "Burn me!"
We did - he'd lived here for ~ 20 years, and told us we were his only family!


I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Re: Morticians [Re: TrueGrit] #15215570 09/11/20
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
NVhntr Offline OP
Campfire Tracker
OP Offline
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
Originally Posted by TrueGrit
My son is supposed to dig a hole under my deer feeder in the backyard and throw me in it. The county coroner has to come out and verify that I'm dead and there's nothing suspicious about my death. The only catch is I need to be planted within 48 hours, hopefully I won't be bloated and stinking to bad.


I wish that option was available to me. They kind of frown on backyard burials in Henderson.


Steve
Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215587 09/11/20
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 38,503
slumlord Offline
Campfire Oracle
Offline
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 38,503
I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.

His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.


The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.

Re: Morticians [Re: slumlord] #15215598 09/11/20
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 38,503
slumlord Offline
Campfire Oracle
Offline
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 38,503
Always wanted to party crash a funeral, they always have a big party platter of Jersey Mike’s mini subs or several buckets of fried chicken. No one knows anyone. Especially it its like some old guy that worked at TVA or Trane/American Standard. 300-400 people show up. Just blend in

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215605 09/11/20
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 387
L
leesway2 Offline
Campfire Regular
Offline
Campfire Regular
L
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 387
My wifes urn sits on the mantel now and mine is in a gun safe waiting on me. It will be up to my son what he does after I am gone. If he would take us to the Keys a dump us in the water, that would be fine with me.

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215608 09/11/20
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 55,542
Rock Chuck Offline
Campfire Oracle
Offline
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 55,542
Quote
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."
Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box.

FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation.


Sin wouldn't be so attractive if the wages were paid immediately.
,,...............
70. The age when your body gives your brain a list of things it isn't going to do anymore
Re: Morticians [Re: slumlord] #15215611 09/11/20
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
NVhntr Offline OP
Campfire Tracker
OP Offline
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Aug 2015
Posts: 7,299
Originally Posted by slumlord
He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.


Haha! The mortuary most of my family uses has candy dishes out in the visiting rooms. I guess sweets make the ordeal go down easier.
I'd prefer they had a wet bar available, but the drink prices would probably be steep.


Steve
Re: Morticians [Re: slumlord] #15215630 09/11/20
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,113
BigDave39355 Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
Offline
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 10,113
Originally Posted by slumlord
I knew of a black funeral parlor here in town. Pimp lookin cat was the director, drove the hearse around like his own personal ghetto cruiser. Hooker’s Cremation and Mortuary.

His ‘prep man’ was an a other old creepy black guy that wore the old man Hooker’s older suits. The sleeves were so long, the you couldnt see the man’s hands. He apparently didnt have a driver’s license. See him out walking everywhere. We all called him “Reptile” haunched over, droopy baggy suit. Be 100 degrees, he’s be pounding the pavement 2-3 miles on his way to the funeral home.


The larger ‘white folks’ funeral home here has a retard that works the door. Has a head the size of a charleston watermelon. He gave renegade50 a handful of butterscotch candy one day.



Haha.

Paintin pictures with words.


Dave

The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the one who dropped it. Lou Holtz



Re: Morticians [Re: Rock Chuck] #15215637 09/11/20
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 44,601
12344mag Offline
Campfire Oracle
Offline
Campfire Oracle
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 44,601
Originally Posted by Rock Chuck
Quote
You have to buy a concrete vault if you want to bury him in this cemetery."
Many cemeteries require either a vault or a steel casket. It's because wood deteriorates and collapses, leaving a divot in the lawn that has to filled in later. It has nothing to do with preserving the body although some morticians might make use of the rule to sell a fancier box.

FWIW, everyone in my close family has opted for cremation.



A vault is required in our cemetery so that when digging we don't disturb the dead and move their bones around.

A real pain in the ass when your digging a grave and the one next to it cave and spews bones into the one you're digging.


Paul

"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.

"Because I'm President and they're not".... DJT

Joe and the Ho 2020!

molɔ̀ːn labé skýla

Re: Morticians [Re: NVhntr] #15215644 09/11/20
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,592
H
Heym06 Offline
Campfire Guide
Offline
Campfire Guide
H
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 2,592
"Lean me up beside the Jukebox, when I'm gone." My family knows, some ashes at Elk camp, the rest at fish camp! Grandson said, he hook me up to a leaf blower! For my last blow job! Smartass youngsters anyway!

Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  RickBin, SYSOP 

RR1
Who's Online Now
93 registered members (405joe, 4and1, 8mmRem, 257robertsimp, 6mmbrfan, 10gaugemag, 7 invisible), 824 guests, and 857 spiders.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
RR2/3










Fish & Game Departments | Solunar Tables | Mission Statement | Privacy Policy | Contact Us | DMCA
Hunting | Fishing | Camping | Backpacking | Reloading | Campfire Forums | Gear Shop
Copyright © 2000-2020 24hourcampfire.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
 
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.3
(Release build 20190728)
PHP: 7.3.27 Page Time: 0.045s Queries: 15 (0.005s) Memory: 0.8726 MB (Peak: 1.0352 MB) Data Comp: Zlib Server Time: 2021-03-08 09:13:52 UTC
Valid HTML 5 and Valid CSS