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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,116
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 6,116 |
My girlfriends son (who for all intents and purposes is my son I have raised him since he was two and is going on 14) dad just died. He was a junky and the biggest piece of garbage you can imagine. I have had the luck of never meeting the guy and for the most part neither has Colin with the exception of a time or two when he was five and that dad's only Interest was getting back together with my girlfriend. This scumbag got his daughter who was going for a nursing degree hooked on heroin and she overdosed and died. He then attempted to gain custody of her daughter to collect welfare on her to feed his habit. Finally the pos died and I plan on having a heart to heart talk with him about what he's feeling now. I never forced the issue but the only time I am referred to as dad is at school and doctors appointments
You've got to hand it to a blind prostitute
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,411
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 28,411 |
Give it time.
He’ll grow up fast in the next few years and begin to see you for what you are.
Discuss it with your wife and get her read on it.
Sounds like he and she both fell into a good thing with you.
The degree of my privacy is no business of yours.
What we've learned from history is that we haven't learned from it.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,824
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,824 |
To me, "Father" has always held the connotation of someone aloof and somewhat cold, whereas "Dad" denotes someone with whom a person has a warmer and closer relationship.
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,492
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 15,492 |
Be steady, be calm, continue being the best man you can be for him and your time together is an advantage for both of you. Don't try to press this - if he is a good kid he will figure it all out on the basis of what you do and are with him. Wishing you the best.
P.S. - never had a son - we have four daughters and they are beyond precious even now in their 50s. Three call me dad, but #2 has always called me Daddy. On a shelf above my reloading bench is a little framed piece of woven work she created when she was about 12, and gave it to me on a special day.. The script reads "Any man can be a father, but it takes a very special man to be a Daddy". I'll have it always.
NRA Member - Life, Benefactor, Patron
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,111
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,111 |
Father is a biological term.
Dad is earned.
P
Obey lawful commands. Video interactions. Hold bad cops accountable. Problem solved.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Member #547 Join date 3/09/2001
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,798
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,798 |
I had a stepdad who for all intents and purpose was my dad from about the age of 4 until his death when I was nearly 50. My blood father passed away due to cancer before I was 2. Anyway I went nearly all that time referring to him as either Bob or in later years Pop! BUT, don’t ever believe we didn’t have a very deep and loving relationship. He was a hell of a good man and stepped up to raise me and my sisters and provided for us as best as he possibly could. Don’t worry about the “Title” Just do what’s right and be a good dad and role model. The love and respect will be there.
Its not always easy to do the right thing, But it is always the right thing to do.
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,008
Campfire Savant
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Campfire Savant
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 151,008 |
I couldn’t answer that, only saw him a couple times.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,409
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,409 |
Dad to me connotates a much deeper meaning than father.
MAGA
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,016
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,016 |
To me, "Father" has always held the connotation of someone aloof and somewhat cold, whereas "Dad" denotes someone with whom a person has a warmer and closer relationship. Father is a biological term. Dad is earned.
P Dad to me connotates a much deeper meaning than father. Agreed.
"Social order at the expense of Liberty is hardly a bargain” de Sade "He who'll not reason is a Bigot, he who cannot is a Fool, and he who dares not is a Slave."SirWilliamDrummond
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 11,240
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 11,240 |
It would hurt my feelings if my kids called me Father. I am their Daddy.
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Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 46,243
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 46,243 |
Neither, i believe geography and net worth are the reasons both are used.
Trump Won!
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,910
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 11,910 |
I called my Dad pop more.
This is what my kids and 4 grand kids call me because of it.
I think you are doing good don't quit.
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,409
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 19,409 |
It would hurt my feelings if my kids called me Father. I am their Daddy. Mama and Daddy. Never held a title I was more proud of. Them that call their dad's by name I have never cottoned to. Never will. It's an arm's length kinda relationship I don't understand.
MAGA
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,685
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,685 |
I called my Dad pop more.
This is what my kids and 4 grand kids call me because of it.
I think you are doing good don't quit. I always call mine pop or dad. Sometimes, "the old man" I have more respect for him than any other man I've ever met. I'm extremely fortunate to have the parents I have.
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,685
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,685 |
It would hurt my feelings if my kids called me Father. I am their Daddy. Mama and Daddy. Never held a title I was more proud of. Them that call their dad's by name I have never cottoned to. Never will. It's an arm's length kinda relationship I don't understand. Wife's family is very arm's length type. Said her grandmother and mother never said "I love you" or ever hugged her. Snotty as hell. I quit going to her family functions for almost 10 years til I realized how much fun it could be to go along and make them uncomfortable as hell. [bleep] douchebags.
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,851
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 37,851 |
Father is a biological term.
Dad is earned.
P Well put. I’m a stepdad, got there when he was six. His biological father was pond scum, never met him, long gone when I showed up. Growing up he always called me Michael like his mom did. I never questioned it one way or another. He did refer to me to his friends as “my dad”. He’s 35 now. Six years ago when I rode my bicycle to NY State there was a group text going on following my progress he referred to me with the term “my father” which was surprising and heartwarming all at once. The clincher tho came maybe two years back. He had left his cell phone at his grandmother’s house So I called it to find out if it was his phone. It was, my number came up as “Dad” 😎 I coulda cried.
"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58,974
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Oct 2011
Posts: 58,974 |
Father is a biological term.
Dad is earned.
P Yup. I'll guarantee you that he will know who did what when he gets a little older and his appreciation will glow. give it time and be patient, you're ding the right thing, you know it and in a short amount of time he will too.
Paul
"I'd rather see a sermon than hear a sermon".... D.A.D.
Trump Won!, Sandmann Won!, Rittenhouse Won!, Suck it Liberal Fuuktards.
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 2,386
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2019
Posts: 2,386 |
Met a nice gal some years back, she had a couple little girls. Little brats latched on so hard I had to marry mom. Girls have a father, he is local, they never see him. His fault. I get introduced as their dad. Both are grown, have good jobs, can stand on their own two feet. I still get hugs when I see them, and had one former boyfriend of the younger one tell me that any time he told her something that went against what I had told her, he was wrong, and that was that. Made me feel good that I had made such an impression. Fatherhood can be fallen into by the basest of men. Being dad requires intentional and competent work over time, by a good man. Someone calls you dad, it says a lot of things in one little word.
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,790
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 29,790 |
Have a 30 yr old son that's doing a start over with us now. He has not used the term mom or dad since returning. Just seems bitter about everything. Classic X-box in the bedroom case.
1Minute
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