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When I think of my mom the first picture in my head is her laying in a box.
When I think of my best friend the first picture is him laying in a box.
Now my brother is dying and the thought is I will travel across three states to see him in a box. Bullchit, who the [bleep] has the right to put that picture in my head? I want to remember my brother the way I want to remember him, and that ain't seeing him in a box.
No funeral for me, nor my wife, direct cremation,. Have a memorial several months down the line so no one feels compelled to come. No laying under some damned rock getting chit on by birds.

[bleep] funerals


The older I become the more I am convinced that the voice of honor in a man's heart is the voice of GOD.
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I agree, I want my last memory of what I seen. I have a very vivid one , and I like it .count me out ...yeah its for the famdamly....yeah but I got to sleep...


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You need a better Spank Bank account.

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PS

Sorry about your brothers health.


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I hear ya, ma’s funeral is tomorrow.

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Our family's been getting hit hard the last few months. Not fun.


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Hell of a way to put it. Sobering.


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Originally Posted by Armednfree

Now my brother is dying and the thought is I will travel across three states to see him in a box. Bullchit, who the [bleep] has the right to put that picture in my head?


That's rough A&F, done that myself this year. But how you remember him is your choice.

It'll work out. Always does, just give it some time.



A wise man is frequently humbled.

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I went and 'viewed' both of my parents in a box. [bleep] morbid spectacle. People around jawing about the weather and such...

I ain't doing it for anybody else. Fugg 'viewing' and then funerals, I hate it all.

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You don't have to look at them in the box. I never do. Why?
..

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As much as a stranger can, I feel for you as those specific images dominate the mental pictures of your loved ones. I am sorry - not only for your genuine sense of loss - but for the frustration and even anger about the parting circumstances and the way those seem to dominate. The deaths of loved ones can move us deeply and even change our outlook on life, especially when we experience several such losses in a short time. I wish you peace and a sense of certainty as you plan your way.


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The two earliest memories that I can come up with are related to death. Can't say which incident came first, but I remember being at my Grandmothers house, my Mothers, Mother, and when when we were getting out of the car, Her Sisters coming out and meeting us, crying. I could not understand why they were crying. I can't remember that Grandmother at all. The other was at my Dad's Mother and I remember my Mother lifting me up to see a woman in a casket. I know that I was around that woman before She died, but I do not remember Her. She was my Grandmothers sister, and lived with them for a while before She died. Those memories do not bother me, nor do other memories of seeing people in caskets. When I am dead, they can do whatever the family wants, as I will be gone. That said, I already have a plot in the Cemetery where all of my Fathers folks have been buried since the civil war ended and they moved Here from Mississippi. I now oversee that cemetery, and mark where the graves are dug, and am there when the Man digs the grave. I really don't want tot be cremated, but if that is what my family wants after I am dead, so be it. Cremations are way cheaper, and lots of people are going to that. miles


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Originally Posted by Armednfree
When I think of my mom the first picture in my head is her laying in a box.
When I think of my best friend the first picture is him laying in a box.
Now my brother is dying and the thought is I will travel across three states to see him in a box. Bullchit, who the [bleep] has the right to put that picture in my head? I want to remember my brother the way I want to remember him, and that ain't seeing him in a box.
No funeral for me, nor my wife, direct cremation,. Have a memorial several months down the line so no one feels compelled to come. No laying under some damned rock getting chit on by birds.

[bleep] funerals

When I did a funeral once, I told folks that the casket is closed for a reason.
When someone dies, I hear people say how good the person looks or how good a makeup job the director did. I said, when so and so died, they did not look good. They died in a hospital and looked bad. I don't think that's the way I want to remember them. That's why we have pictures displayed with some of the family included. Those are the good memories we remember.

So, there Aremednfree. Another option if you like.
Even if you go to another funeral, nobody gets offended if you choose to not go to the casket. It's about getting together to support one another and hopefully hear a good sermon.
BTW, there's one linked in my signature that deals with this very subject.

Take care,
HC

Last edited by Happy_Camper; 02/25/21.
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Originally Posted by viking
I hear ya, ma’s funeral is tomorrow.


I’m sorry for you and your families loss.

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Originally Posted by Armednfree
When I think of my mom the first picture in my head is her laying in a box.
When I think of my best friend the first picture is him laying in a box.
Now my brother is dying and the thought is I will travel across three states to see him in a box. Bullchit, who the [bleep] has the right to put that picture in my head? I want to remember my brother the way I want to remember him, and that ain't seeing him in a box.
No funeral for me, nor my wife, direct cremation,. Have a memorial several months down the line so no one feels compelled to come. No laying under some damned rock getting chit on by birds.

[bleep] funerals

I’m sorry for your brother. Not the way I want to remember my brother either.

I remember Mom sitting in her chair by the fireplace, Dad at the cabin deer season. To have those days back. Love ya Mom and Dad!

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Condolences. Like some here - I never do go look. I be the guy outside the chapel you go ask for extra tissues or some candy for the kids. Have found I keep my memories and be there for friends and family at the same time. 2020 was hard in more than one way.

C.


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There's a tiny cemetery west of Boise on land that was homesteaded by my great grandfather. He sold a couple acres to the county around 1910 for a cemetery. It's not an official family cemetery but many of my relatives are there. Years ago, my mother bought 4 adjoining plots for our immediate family. They aren't assigned. She just bought them so they'd be there for whoever wanted to use them. At the time they only cost $75 each. They will allow 4 urns in each plot so we can bury 16 in them. My dad, my brother, and my 1st wife are in there now.

So far, we've all opted for cremation for the simple reason of cost. A cremation costs far less than even the cheapest caskets. None of us want to leave the family with the burden of an expensive funeral.


“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell

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Open caskets are optional for a reason.


Originally Posted by Geno67
Trump being classless,tasteless and clueless as usual.
Originally Posted by Judman
Sorry, trump is a no tax payin pile of shiit.
Originally Posted by KSMITH
My young wife decided to play the field and had moved several dudes into my house
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I will add hearing someone say how good the deceased looks gives me pause. When my dad passed away after 2 weeks in ICU and 3 days in hospice we cremated before the funeral. Had nice pictures of my dad active and younger instead of an open casket. I have instructions for the same thing when it is my turn. Viewings/wakes in my opinion are ancient and needless.

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Best funeral I’ve ever been to was that of an old friend. She died of cancer in her fifties, so had plenty of warning of her death.

She stipulated she was to be cremated and that no service was to be held for six months. When the service was held the keen edge of loss was dulled, and instead it became a celebration of her life.

Also following her instructions, her daughter gave out portions of her ashes to certain family and friends to be scattered in places meaningful to them.


"...if the gentlemen of Virginia shall send us a dozen of their sons, we would take great care in their education, instruct them in all we know, and make men of them." Canasatego 1744
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