My sincere condolences. After my wife died a year ago, I found that for awhile, I was in shock, although she had been suffering from Alzheimer's dementia for some time. But after awhile, the shock -- or "numbness" as you said -- became grief. I wish you the best. it takes a while.
"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." (William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830s.)
Although we know that all lives end and even though we are sometimes amazed and deeply touched by loved ones who strive bravely to stay with us, the courage we see in their effort and our knowledge of the inevitable often are not sufficient when we finally experience the loss. I pray for your sustenance and peace, and am sorry you are feeling this loss to strongly. I do hope that you are feeling better soon.
My condolences to you and your family. Prayers have been sent.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” Ephesians 6:12 (KJV)
Friend, There is peace and rest for him this evening,His strife is over , Pull your family together and rejoice in his life,as he would yours,, Ive recently buried 3 of my family members ,,its never easy,, This song can says it all,,