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Donkeys #16137361 06/02/21
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DigitalDan Offline OP
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Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks.

So watch your Ass.


I am..........disturbed.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain


BP-B2

Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137364 06/02/21
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DigitalDan Offline OP
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Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, it ain't Stanley .'

The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up, Roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two azzholes.''

''What! He had two azz-holes?'' asked the mortician.

''Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 'There's Stanley with them two azzholes.' ''

Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Biden administration as planning, development, and strategy consultants.


I am..........disturbed.

Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain


Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137371 06/02/21
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chlinstructor Offline
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LOL !


"Allways speak the truth and you will never have to remember what you said before..." Sam Houston
Texans, "We say Grace, We Say Mam, If You Don't Like it, We Don't Give a Damn!"

~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137543 06/02/21
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gunzo Offline
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Originally Posted by DigitalDan
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp.

Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, 'Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, 'Nope, it ain't Stanley .'

The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, 'Yup, he's pretty well burnt up, Roll him over.'

The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, 'No, it ain't Stanley .'

The mortician asked, 'How can you tell?'

Gomer said, 'Well, Stanley had two azzholes.''

''What! He had two azz-holes?'' asked the mortician.

''Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say: 'There's Stanley with them two azzholes.' ''

Cooter and Gomer are both now employed in the Biden administration as planning, development, and strategy consultants.



Bravo!

Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137568 06/02/21
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rong Offline
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Funny and sad at the same time,cuz you know it's true.

IC-A

Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137916 06/02/21
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krp Offline
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Cooter and Gomer went to the auction and bought two pigs, took them home and put them in the pigsty.

Cooter said,' how will we know which is who's?'

Gomer jumps in and takes his knife, cuts the tail off one... there, that's mine.

That night the pigs got in a big fight and when Cooter and Gomer checked them in the morning, neither pig had a tail.

Cooter say's 'cripes' what will we do now.

Gomer jumps in with his knife and cuts the ear off one... mine.

That night same thing, pigs got in a huge row. Cooter and Gomer check them in the morning, neither had any ears.

'Damn Gomer what are we to do.'

Gomer looks at the pigs, finally say's...

'You take the black one and I'll take the white...'

Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137951 06/02/21
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Scott F Offline
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LOL times two.


The first time I shot myself in the head...

Meniere's Sucks Big Time!!!
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137974 06/02/21
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I have a neighbor across the road with donkeys.
The loudest most obnoxious MFers you could imagine.
Braying all hours of the night.
I despise the rotten things.


Proud NRA Life Member
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16137996 06/02/21
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RUM7 Offline
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Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16138010 06/02/21
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I have a neighbor across the fence that owns several donkeys. When I am waiting on hogs to show up on my bait at night the donkeys start braying when hogs are moving in. If I hear them start up it is time to get ready to shoot. The lady offered to give me some of the donkeys but I told her free was too expensive.


"Paul was the first corrupter of the doctrines of Jesus" Thomas Jefferson
Black Rifles Matter
IC-B

Re: Donkeys [Re: RUM7] #16138038 06/02/21
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add Offline
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LOL.

Great joke and what perfect timing!


Always loved me some Andy Kaufman.

Originally Posted by RUM7



Epstein didn't kill himself.

Biden didn't win the election.
Re: Donkeys [Re: Hastings] #16138040 06/02/21
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lvmiker Offline
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I gave my g kids adopted burros for Christmas, my son and DIL are still plotting revenge.



mike r


Don't wish it were easier
Wish you were better

Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that.
Craig Douglas ECQC
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16138045 06/02/21
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I was expecting something about AOC.

Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16138048 06/02/21
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saddlesore Offline
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Those Mountain Canaries are music to my ears

Last edited by saddlesore; 06/02/21.

If God wanted you to walk and carry things on your back, He would not have invented stirrups and pack saddles
Re: Donkeys [Re: lvmiker] #16138083 06/02/21
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Hastings Online Content
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Originally Posted by lvmiker
I gave my g kids adopted burros for Christmas, my son and DIL are still plotting revenge.mike r
Did you buy life insurance on them? Our parents bought us a fully functional (uncut) jackass when we were kids. All he wanted to do was bray, and do his best to kill us when we tried to ride him. The best cowboy around came to straighten him out for us and get him rebroke to ride. He was a big strong black man and good with training unruly horses. He got on that donkey and it was a rodeo. He took Monroe down in the woods and threw him off into a locust thorn tree. After that Rusty was never ridden again.


"Paul was the first corrupter of the doctrines of Jesus" Thomas Jefferson
Black Rifles Matter
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16138092 06/02/21
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krp Offline
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When I was 5, my dad's friend Sherman had a donkey out in our pasture. Dad would throw me on that donkey, no halter, bridle, saddle... just grab on and try to stay on.

It was the meanest SOB, if it wasn't trying to bite you off it'd buck and if that didn't work, try and rub you off on the barbed wire fence, I hated that donkey.

In his last years, Sherman still had a horse at dad's, he passed a few years ago, but went over every day to ride in the winter, spent his summers in Utah... I'd remind him of his mean donkey and he'd just laugh, remembering me riding that bastard as a tyke.

Kent

Re: Donkeys [Re: Hastings] #16138096 06/02/21
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lvmiker Offline
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Originally Posted by Hastings
Originally Posted by lvmiker
I gave my g kids adopted burros for Christmas, my son and DIL are still plotting revenge.mike r
Did you buy life insurance on them? Our parents bought us a fully functional (uncut) jackass when we were kids. All he wanted to do was bray, and do his best to kill us when we tried to ride him. The best cowboy around came to straighten him out for us and get him rebroke to ride. He was a big strong black man and good with training unruly horses. He got on that donkey and it was a rodeo. He took Monroe down in the woods and threw him off into a locust thorn tree. After that Rusty was never ridden again.



Nope, just staked them out on the front lawn at 0600 hrs on Christmas morning with a blue or pink ribbon with the G kids names on them. Getting into a gated community w/ your buddy's horse trailer is not easy but is doable. Ringing the doorbell continuously for 2 minutes was worth it.


mike r


Don't wish it were easier
Wish you were better

Stab them in the taint, you can't put a tourniquet on that.
Craig Douglas ECQC
Re: Donkeys [Re: lvmiker] #16138119 06/02/21
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Valsdad Offline
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Mike,

come north a bit and take a couple of horses off the Devil's Garden for them grandkids when they're done with the donkeys.

Word is, they make great companions if you manage to get young ones!


The desert is a true treasure for him who seeks refuge from men and the evil of men.
In it is contentment
In it is death and all you seek
(Quoted from "The Bleeding of the Stone" Ibrahim Al-Koni)

member of the cabal of dysfunctional squirrels?
Re: Donkeys [Re: DigitalDan] #16138150 06/02/21
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Dillonbuck Offline
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Breed stock guy I worked for got one to break headstrong snowstorm.

Bring those yearnings in to get ready to show, some just wouldn't give
in to the halter and lead rope. Got drug around quite a bit.

So Billy gets this donkey, and we tie a calf twice his size on.
Dam cow had no choice. Donkey just walked around, the calf either
walked or got drug.

Then one Friday a couple guys forgot to in hook a calf.
Donkeys don't need the water a struggling cow does.
I think it was Sunday when they found the donkey, dragging a
nice, dead, young Simmental heifer.


I'm an American, we kneel to no man.
Only to God!

The Alabama section of Pennsylvania.
Where we cling to our God and Guns.
Re: Donkeys [Re: Hastings] #16138255 06/02/21
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Rock Chuck Online Content
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Originally Posted by Hastings
Originally Posted by lvmiker
I gave my g kids adopted burros for Christmas, my son and DIL are still plotting revenge.mike r
Did you buy life insurance on them? Our parents bought us a fully functional (uncut) jackass when we were kids. All he wanted to do was bray, and do his best to kill us when we tried to ride him. The best cowboy around came to straighten him out for us and get him rebroke to ride. He was a big strong black man and good with training unruly horses. He got on that donkey and it was a rodeo. He took Monroe down in the woods and threw him off into a locust thorn tree. After that Rusty was never ridden again.
Maybe if Dad had gone to the expense of having him gelded the results would have been far different. Those jacks are randy critters that can benefit from a hormone reduction.


Sin wouldn't be so attractive if the wages were paid immediately.
,,...............
70. The age when your body gives your brain a list of things it isn't going to do anymore
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