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Joined: Nov 2007
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
for those who have dealt with this. My dad is 83 has cancer and I noticed in the last few weeks he has a hard time walking, bad hips, he fell yesterday he pulled up in his truck got out and lost his balance started going backward, and thank god fell into the grass and not the concrete. He still had to go get X-rays today. I called the people he's worked for, I've known them and done work for them for thirty yrs, and told them I don't want him working alone or doing anything out in the warehouse anymore. My question is should I take all of his independence away, he does get confused sometimes, I'm just afraid if he doesn't have something to do he will go downhill faster. I called my brothers but they're too busy to give a chit. Anyone who has dealt with this, your advice would be appreciated.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,649
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
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A hard, but good question Roger.
I have no answer.
This might be good as a Prayer request?
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
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Roger, my mom is 87 and we just recently got a call from neighbors and her doctor all saying she's falling down alot. We talked to her about it and she just blew it off, but it kept happening. Friends and neighbors were starting to feel burdened with checking in on her, bless their hearts they do try, but it was becoming too much to ask. Our fear was that she would fall and die in her house and no one would know for days, Happened to her brother, my uncle, and no one found him for two weeks. Two weeks in the summer with no air conditioning. He was a puddle on the floor. We didn't want that for mom.
i
We talked her into selling her house and moving into an assisted living facility where they cook for her so she won't leave a burner on, take her anywhere she needs to go, plans activities for her, and she has other people to talk to. She got a two bedroom apartment and all the care including housecleaning for under $5K a month. At least she'll be missed if she doesn't show up for a meal.
Of course she was dead set against it until I told her to think of it as a cruise ship without the seasickness LOL. Everything taken care of you just sit back and enjoy yourself and your friends. It's been difficult for her to adjust to the structure because of her independence. She's realizing her life is winding down and that is difficult too. We would have had her live with us but we are gone all day working leaving only the kid with the heart issues at home with her. Better than nothing, but not fair to him.
If a person was semi-independent and worked from home maybe. Overall, it's been difficult for mom but she has been trying very hard to have a good attitude, that makes all the difference.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,037
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
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There comes a time when intervention is required. At what age is uncertain, but your intuition is probably 99%+ accurate. No one has known them as long as you.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
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It’s a tough situation my friend. If he’s changed your diaper, he really is ‘t looking for advice from you. You don’t want to hurt his pride either, but you also don’t want him to be physically injured.
Wish I had an answer. I can throw up a prayer on your behalf.
My old man is still getting along well, but at nearly 80, I know it’s coming.
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jun 2012
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Taking away his independence is likely the equivalent of gut shooting him. Unless he’s a danger to others he needs to keep on going. If he’s still working at 83 it’s because it’s important to him and gives him a reason to get out of bed every day.
‘TO LEARN WHO RULES OVER YOU, SIMPLY FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE’
Conspiracy theorists are the ones who see it all coming…
You are the carbon they want to eliminate !
I’m Uber Deplorable Ultra MAGA !
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Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Oct 2003
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Talk to his doctor privately and ask him/her for guidance.
The Karma bus always has an empty seat when it comes around.- High Brass
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
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Talk to his doctor privately and ask him/her for guidance. Doctor? I don’t think so. This is a private family matter. You’d better talk to dad. It won’t be easy.
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2017
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There are no right answers Roger. Doing what you believe is best. Sorry bout your Pops.
"Maybe we're all happy."
"Go to the sporting goods store. From the files, obtain form 4473. These will contain descriptions of weapons and lists of private ownership."
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2019
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Let him go on as long as he's able.
My dad was somewhat miserable when he got to point where he couldn't do much of anything.
He's lucky to have someone that cares.
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Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
Roger, my mom is 87 and we just recently got a call from neighbors and her doctor all saying she's falling down alot. We talked to her about it and she just blew it off, but it kept happening. Friends and neighbors were starting to feel burdened with checking in on her, bless their hearts they do try, but it was becoming too much to ask. Our fear was that she would fall and die in her house and no one would know for days, Happened to her brother, my uncle, and no one found him for two weeks. Two weeks in the summer with no air conditioning. He was a puddle on the floor. We didn't want that for mom.
i
We talked her into selling her house and moving into an assisted living facility where they cook for her so she won't leave a burner on, take her anywhere she needs to go, plans activities for her, and she has other people to talk to. She got a two bedroom apartment and all the care including housecleaning for under $5K a month. At least she'll be missed if she doesn't show up for a meal.
Of course she was dead set against it until I told her to think of it as a cruise ship without the seasickness LOL. Everything taken care of you just sit back and enjoy yourself and your friends. It's been difficult for her to adjust to the structure because of her independence. She's realizing her life is winding down and that is difficult too. We would have had her live with us but we are gone all day working leaving only the kid with the heart issues at home with her. Better than nothing, but not fair to him.
If a person was semi-independent and worked from home maybe. Overall, it's been difficult for mom but she has been trying very hard to have a good attitude, that makes all the difference. My dad lives with me, has for about 15 yrs since mom got cancer back in 2007. so far he hasn't had any major mishaps driving.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
Taking away his independence is likely the equivalent of gut shooting him. Unless he’s a danger to others he needs to keep on going. If he’s still working at 83 it’s because it’s important to him and gives him a reason to get out of bed every day. yes, I know.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
Talk to his doctor privately and ask him/her for guidance. think That's what I'm going to do.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,249
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
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Roger, my mom is 87 and we just recently got a call from neighbors and her doctor all saying she's falling down alot. We talked to her about it and she just blew it off, but it kept happening. Friends and neighbors were starting to feel burdened with checking in on her, bless their hearts they do try, but it was becoming too much to ask. Our fear was that she would fall and die in her house and no one would know for days, Happened to her brother, my uncle, and no one found him for two weeks. Two weeks in the summer with no air conditioning. He was a puddle on the floor. We didn't want that for mom.
i
We talked her into selling her house and moving into an assisted living facility where they cook for her so she won't leave a burner on, take her anywhere she needs to go, plans activities for her, and she has other people to talk to. She got a two bedroom apartment and all the care including housecleaning for under $5K a month. At least she'll be missed if she doesn't show up for a meal.
Of course she was dead set against it until I told her to think of it as a cruise ship without the seasickness LOL. Everything taken care of you just sit back and enjoy yourself and your friends. It's been difficult for her to adjust to the structure because of her independence. She's realizing her life is winding down and that is difficult too. We would have had her live with us but we are gone all day working leaving only the kid with the heart issues at home with her. Better than nothing, but not fair to him.
If a person was semi-independent and worked from home maybe. Overall, it's been difficult for mom but she has been trying very hard to have a good attitude, that makes all the difference. My dad lives with me, has for about 15 yrs since mom got cancer back in 2007. so far he hasn't had any major mishaps driving. OK, my advice would be to carry on, but if he's home alone hire someone to check in on him, check his blood pressure, make sure he's alright while you're out working.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
Roger, my mom is 87 and we just recently got a call from neighbors and her doctor all saying she's falling down alot. We talked to her about it and she just blew it off, but it kept happening. Friends and neighbors were starting to feel burdened with checking in on her, bless their hearts they do try, but it was becoming too much to ask. Our fear was that she would fall and die in her house and no one would know for days, Happened to her brother, my uncle, and no one found him for two weeks. Two weeks in the summer with no air conditioning. He was a puddle on the floor. We didn't want that for mom.
i
We talked her into selling her house and moving into an assisted living facility where they cook for her so she won't leave a burner on, take her anywhere she needs to go, plans activities for her, and she has other people to talk to. She got a two bedroom apartment and all the care including housecleaning for under $5K a month. At least she'll be missed if she doesn't show up for a meal.
Of course she was dead set against it until I told her to think of it as a cruise ship without the seasickness LOL. Everything taken care of you just sit back and enjoy yourself and your friends. It's been difficult for her to adjust to the structure because of her independence. She's realizing her life is winding down and that is difficult too. We would have had her live with us but we are gone all day working leaving only the kid with the heart issues at home with her. Better than nothing, but not fair to him.
If a person was semi-independent and worked from home maybe. Overall, it's been difficult for mom but she has been trying very hard to have a good attitude, that makes all the difference. My dad lives with me, has for about 15 yrs since mom got cancer back in 2007. so far he hasn't had any major mishaps driving. OK, my advice would be to carry on, but if he's home alone hire someone to check in on him, check his blood pressure, make sure he's alright while you're out working. Home is not the problem he still wants to keep working, he's a salesman, I worry when he's out on his own.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,840
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 10,840 |
It’s not an easy situation . I’m hoping for the best outcome for your Dad, Rog.
FUGK CCP
It’s time to WAKE UP
GOD BLESS THE USA
WWG1WGA
THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES
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Posts: 2,928
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,928 |
Roger,
I'm dealing with the same issue now. My Dad is 76 and had a car wreck back in January causing a TBI. The hospital told him he couldn't drive for 4-6 months until he was re-evaluated. Today was the day to be re-evaluated and he failed. Some of the procedures to test him that they had him do, I don't think a younger person could have done better. Anyway, we tried talking to him before hand about giving up his keys and it was clear he knew better than us in his eyes. Now that he can't drive, the consolation is that I'm willing to make myself available any time he needs to go somewhere. Gettin' old sucks for sure.
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Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 16,063 |
Sounds like a cool old man.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,092 |
Sounds like a cool old man. He is probably the only person I can say I know who has never told a lie, he's honest to a fault.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,249
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,249 |
Home is not the problem he still wants to keep working, he's a salesman, I worry when he's out on his own.
Like mom, he may need to understand his life has changed. But, there's a certain kind of person that refuses to stop for fear they'll die as soon as they do. My wife's grandma was like that. Died on her feet. Everyone is different.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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