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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506 |
I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point. I already got my spot picked out. I have the revolver for my last day. š¦«
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog
āMolon Labeā
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Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 19,583
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Apr 2017
Posts: 19,583 |
I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point. I already got my spot picked out. I have the revolver for my last day. š¦« I also the last bottle of Whisky Dad and I drank from. Couple of good swigs left.
"Maybe we're all happy."
"Go to the sporting goods store. From the files, obtain form 4473. These will contain descriptions of weapons and lists of private ownership."
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506 |
I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point. I already got my spot picked out. I have the revolver for my last day. š¦« I also the last bottle of Whisky Dad and I drank from. Couple of good swigs left. To those happier days, when itās time. Salud š¦«
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog
āMolon Labeā
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Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 16,956
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2018
Posts: 16,956 |
I read your post to my wife who owns a caregiving company that helps the elderly stay in their home for as long as they're able. Years of experience helping elderly folks in the sunset of their lives.
She said as long as he's sharp don't take away his independence, maybe get a company co-driver on his sales trips for safety if he's unsteady.
Talk him into using a cane for steadiness.
Good luck, Roger.
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,273
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 56,273 |
STX, I have a similar situation.
My Dad turned 81 yesterday. He has a 2017 Ram 2500 he bought new that now has 160K on it. I worry about him being on the road as much as he is getting in an accident, but he still drives safely for the most part. He does most of the parts running for me, and it's a huge help. It keeps me working instead of being on the road.
The big Ram truck gives him a bit more confidence than he maybe should have now. I'll tell him he needs to get a smaller truck(yeah right).
My Mom turned in her keys last summer, and now Dad is driving her around. It's a hell of a predicament; I want them to stay busy, but I don't want them hurt, or accidentally hurting someone else. They both have age related issues that they work hard to ignore, and I don't blame them.
The folks live 300 yards from me, so I am fortunate to be able to keep an eye on things most days.
I have been taking it day by day for a few years now, and so far, so good. I hope you find a workable solution that keeps your Dad mobile. Looking at your avatar, I'm thinking your dad needs to cool his jets! LOL One good suggestion is for your dad to hire a driver. They can keep an eye on him while he's working.
_______________________________________________________
An 8 dollar driveway boy living in a T-111 shack
LOL
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Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,165
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 5,165 |
I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point. I already got my spot picked out. I have the revolver for my last day. š¦« I also the last bottle of Whisky Dad and I drank from. Couple of good swigs left. To those happier days, when itās time. Salud š¦« Easier said than done. My Gpaw made my mother promise him to put him out of his misery and she couldn't do it. But she did manage to pull her own breathing tubes out after saying goodbye to all of us. Last hunting season and hopefully this won't be my dad's last buck. ![[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]](https://i.postimg.cc/q7d0B73s/IMG-20201019-105138975-HDR.jpg)
Life is good live it while you can.
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Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,284
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2016
Posts: 60,284 |
What does he say when you talk about it together? Oh, I'm Ok. Just about have to take his word for it......for now.
I am MAGA.
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,941
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 13,941 |
Before doing anything, I'd strongly recommend getting your dad's medications checked out first in case there might be over/under dosage, side-affects of, and/or problematic interactions with any he's taking that could be affecting him adversely.
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,139
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,139 |
Been there. Leave as much Independence as you can, but take over what you need to. As long as you truly have your parent's best interest, it's time to take a load off their shoulders , and do what needs doing.
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 14,487
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 14,487 |
Taking away his independence is likely the equivalent of gut shooting him. Unless heās a danger to others he needs to keep on going. If heās still working at 83 itās because itās important to him and gives him a reason to get out of bed every day. I agree. Yeah, he might well hurt himself. Chances are he has before just like all of us, and he's likely fully cognizant of the facts and possibilities. The way I see it is that taking his freedom would be like burying him alive because he'd feel like you're no longer allowing him to live. Personally, I'd be inclined to let him keep his freedom until he becomes an unintentional threat to someone else's well being. I watched my dad deteriorate in assisted living. If I had it to do over again I'd delay his entrance to assisted living much longer. It's a tough deal with no easy choices. You have good friends, so rely on them as needed.
Don't be the darkness.
America will perish while those who should be standing guard are satisfying their lusts.
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Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,448
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,448 |
Sounds like the first step oughta be having a good old fashioned chat with those brothers of yours.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,128
Campfire 'Bwana
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OP
Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 47,128 |
Thanks for the replies, I'm having my brothers come over Monday evening so I can talk to them.
God bless Texas-----------------------
Old 300
I will remain what i am until the day I die- A HUNTER......Sitting Bull
Its not how you pick the booger..
but where you put it !!
Roger V Hunter
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 17,693
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 17,693 |
Took care of my dad for his last 6 years, it wasn't easy tho, he still drive, but not much, and only in the daytime .couldn't cook or get his meds right and he was also 83, I got home from work and found him in his chair, had a big stroke his 3rd, he pasted 2 days later. Wish you LUCK Buddy.
Deer Camp! about as good as it gets!
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Joined: Nov 2015
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Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
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Talk to his doctor privately and ask him/her for guidance. think That's what I'm going to do. When my mother's dementia became a factor where she should not drive, etc., her primary care physician was very instrumental in helping us out. My mother actually worked for him for as long as I can remember so on some levels she respected his advice more than anyone else in the world. It was at times annoying because she would often take this or that medication "because Dr. Ted said". They were almost family. My mother saw his kids grow up (graduations, weddings, etc.). So I had a conversation with him in advance of her annual checkup and he agreed to play the bad cop. That was at least 10 years ago but I remember the conversation like it was yesterday... Dr. Ted "So how is your memory lately?" Mom "Not as good as it used to be. Dr. Ted "Well i'm going to order some tests. But until the results come back, I'd don't want you driving" Mom "Ok" He accomplished in 3 seconds what we could not do in 3 months. Blessings to you and your dad. I know you have tried to look at it from his perspective. There are only a few things left that he has, not the least of which is his freedom. Letting go is tough. Tough.
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Joined: May 2014
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 5,817 |
Roger, my mom is 87 and we just recently got a call from neighbors and her doctor all saying she's falling down alot. We talked to her about it and she just blew it off, but it kept happening. Friends and neighbors were starting to feel burdened with checking in on her, bless their hearts they do try, but it was becoming too much to ask. Our fear was that she would fall and die in her house and no one would know for days, Happened to her brother, my uncle, and no one found him for two weeks. Two weeks in the summer with no air conditioning. He was a puddle on the floor. "Woman sat dead in front of TV for 42 years" https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/woman-sat-dead-front-tv-977414
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Joined: May 2014
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Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2014
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I read your post to my wife who owns a caregiving company that helps the elderly stay in their home for as long as they're able. Years of experience helping elderly folks in the sunset of their lives.
She said as long as he's sharp don't take away his independence, maybe get a company co-driver on his sales trips for safety if he's unsteady.
Talk him into using a cane for steadiness.
Good luck, Roger.
Thanks for the input. Sounds like good advice to me.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,739
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 60,739 |
My departed Mother-in-law was in a very good home at her last.
Some are more like jails.
These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,601
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 31,601 |
I hope I have the fortitude to drive into the mountains and blow my brains out When I get to that point. I already got my spot picked out. I have the revolver for my last day. š¦« I also the last bottle of Whisky Dad and I drank from. Couple of good swigs left. To those happier days, when itās time. Salud š¦« Easier said than done. My Gpaw made my mother promise him to put him out of his misery and she couldn't do it. But she did manage to pull her own breathing tubes out after saying goodbye to all of us. Last hunting season and hopefully this won't be my dad's last buck. Thatās a GREAT photo! Thanks for sharing
Founder
Ancient Order of the 1895 Winchester
"Come, shall we go and kill us venison?
And yet it irks me the poor dappled fools,
Being native burghers of this desert city,
Should in their own confines with forked heads
Have their round haunches gored."
WS
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 19,503
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 19,503 |
I worry when he's out on his own. Payback Buddy payback. he'll probably never be able to get even for all the worry you caused him.  This kind of stuff is tuff to figure out and it varies greatly from person to person. I'll give you an example of what happened to Unk. Unk was a very active guy and liked to keep busy whether he was fishing, fixing or doing whatever. Unk got to be weak and unstable and his kids started to get on his ass and tell him what he could and couldn't do. This went on for awhile and the more I watched it the more it pissed me off, I told one of them that they should just leave the oldman alone and shut the fuqk up, this pissed him off and he started to crawl all over my ass, I asked him what he would like for his dad, did he want him to live longer and be miserable or did he want him to be happy and possibly live a little less time? He walked away and they all backed off of him and he pretty much does as he pleases again, they did get him an auto inflate life jacket and made him promise to wear it when he goes out in the boat, probably a good idea anyways. It's your Pa Roger and I know you love him and want the best for him, but please just don't make him miserable. Spot on, buddy. My almost 81 year old dad lost his wife a couple of years ago and has been listless ever since. (He really wants to find another ladyfriend) He's been wintering in Florida the last few years and coming back to Michigan in the spring. He's talked about finding a house with water access so he can fish. My sister and her husband have been discouraging him because of his age. I say find and buy the house and live out his time the way that makes him happy. Take away the things that make a man content and you kill him.
4 out of 5 Great Lakes prefer Michigan. 
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Joined: Sep 2009
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 41,956 |
There are no right answers Roger. Doing what you believe is best. Sorry bout your Pops. Yeah, this Roger !
Paul.
"Kids who grow up hunting, fishing & trapping, do not mug little old Ladies"
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