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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,379
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 16,379 |
I have this tradition that involves me telling people to go fugk themselves when they invite me to a wedding.
You forgot the LOL. Weddings and the craziness it infests upon families and friends is precisely why we eloped in Las Vegas 30 years ago. LOL Wife told me the other day about some cousin on her side getting married in December. What kinda self absorbed dick head gets married in December I did.
I've always been a curmudgeon - now I'm an old curmudgeon.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,310
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 69,310 |
My parents got married in a chapel on a naval base 3 weeks after Pearl Harbor. The only family who could get there were Mom's mother and aunt. It stuck, though. When Dad died at 92, they had in well over 60 years.
“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
― George Orwell
It's not over when you lose. It's over when you quit.
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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,659
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 16,659 |
Traveled several hundred miles and just got back from my niece's wedding in eastern Nebraska. She and her now husband have been living in sin for twelve years and finally tied the knot.
Outdoor wedding at a very nice farm. Dinner and dancing to follow. Looked forward to happy event.
Immediately....and I mean immediately after the "kiss the bride", the entire wedding party got into trucks and left. They were gone for about what seemed to be an hour. Turns out they all went to the bar and had drinks.
When I asked what the deal was I was told "It's a Nebraska thing." Ok. My parents came from this exact part of the state and I never heard of this tradition.
Any other wedding traditions to confuse the outsiders?
I thought everyone did that. Here though, the bridesmaids "steal" the groom and the groomsmen "steal" the bride and go bar hopping at different (separate) bars for about an hour.
The deer hunter does not notice the mountains
"I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve" - Isoroku Yamamoto
There sure are a lot of America haters that want to live here...
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,119
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 12,119 |
Perhaps the stupidest wedding tradition is spending scads of money on a "Barbie princess" wedding that could be put to much better use by the couple. Yep. Work friend 10 years ago from West Chester County NY. Apparently where some of the uppity people live. Involved with Broadway and media companies in addition to IT stuff. Daughter’s wedding, done right, was going to cost north of $75 Large. Families got together. Said “Screw it”. Had a small wedding and gave money to newly weds for down payment on their first home.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,855
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,855 |
...I thought everyone did that. Here though, the bridesmaids "steal" the groom and the groomsmen "steal" the bride and go bar hopping at different (separate) bars for about an hour.
While everyone invited to the reception stands around wondering "Whatinhell am I doing here?"
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 9,450
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2020
Posts: 9,450 |
My family tradition is to run into some family at the grocery store and invite them to a wedding. Several months ago saw my brother grocery shopping.
He asked me to his son's wedding. It's June. I have no idea what day. I'm not going to call and ask since I haven't heard from my nephew forever. Never a call or visit. I picked out a couple of good gifts, but hey. No formal invite or even a card...... what's an uncle supposed to do?
Last edited by Happy_Camper; 06/15/21.
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,883
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 15,883 |
Back in the day, on my mother's side of the family, they would kidnap the groom, after the wedding and lock him up in jail. Many a bride spent her wedding night alone, or at least without her husband.
We live about 100 miles from my grandparents and when my mom's baby sister got married, Mom told everyone that we were headed home after the ceremony. When we loaded up in the car, Mom's baby sister and husband slipped into the car with us. Mom drove right past her uncles, who were posted at the end of the 1/4 mile driveway, and slipped my aunt and uncle away.
Old Turd- Deplorable- Unrepentant Murderer- Domestic Violent Extremist
Just "Campfire Riffraff and Trash"
This will be my last post! Flave 1/3/21
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 14,408
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 14,408 |
around here the tradition is to get schit faced drunk and fist fight close relatives followed up by prodigious puking.
My diploma is a DD214
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 4,848
Campfire Tracker
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OP
Campfire Tracker
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 4,848 |
...I thought everyone did that. Here though, the bridesmaids "steal" the groom and the groomsmen "steal" the bride and go bar hopping at different (separate) bars for about an hour.
While everyone invited to the reception stands around wondering "Whatinhell am I doing here?" You must have been at the same wedding. Sorry I didn't recognize you. This is precisely what happened.
For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: "If a man will not work, he shall not eat."
2 Thessalonians 3:10
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,855
Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 38,855 |
Lots and lots of really dumb-assed "traditions" designed to spoil the day for everyone but the asswipes perpetrating them.
Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.
Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)
Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,133
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,133 |
In my kingdom my favorite wedding tradition is prima nocta.
Obey lawful commands. Video interactions. Hold bad cops accountable. Problem solved.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Member #547
Join date 3/09/2001
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,686
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,686 |
Was at a wedding in WVa. 2nd cousin was in the Navy, brought home a Portuguese chick. Her family came for the nuptials. Not sure if it’s a “tradition” but the story ends with him having words with her family, a handgun discharged in the living room of the house the “reception” was held at and the groom spending his wedding night sobering up in jail. Portuguese were wheels up the next day as fast as they could get to an airport.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944 |
We cut the wheels and tongue off your new trailer.
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,686
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 23,686 |
We cut the wheels and tongue off your new trailer. Around here they live them underneath it just in case.
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Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jan 2018
Posts: 23,506 |
Was at a wedding in WVa. 2nd cousin was in the Navy, brought home a Portuguese chick. Her family came for the nuptials. Not sure if it’s a “tradition” but the story ends with him having words with her family, a handgun discharged in the living room of the house the “reception” was held at and the groom spending his wedding night sobering up in jail. Portuguese were wheels up the next day as fast as they could get to an airport. Now that sounds like a party Beaver would want to be at...Who wants to do body shots of tequila off the bride ? LOL 🦫
Curiosity Killed the Cat & The Prairie Dog
“Molon Labe”
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944 |
Harder for the Repo man when the wheels and tongue are off💡
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 66,944 |
Was at a wedding in WVa. 2nd cousin was in the Navy, brought home a Portuguese chick. Her family came for the nuptials. Not sure if it’s a “tradition” but the story ends with him having words with her family, a handgun discharged in the living room of the house the “reception” was held at and the groom spending his wedding night sobering up in jail. Portuguese were wheels up the next day as fast as they could get to an airport. Now that sounds like a party Beaver would want to be at...Who wants to do body shots of tequila off the bride ? LOL 🦫 Portuguese snowblowers
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,244
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 8,244 |
The only reason brides are smiling is cause they know they have given their last BJ.
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Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 1,413
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 1,413 |
Traveled several hundred miles and just got back from my niece's wedding in eastern Nebraska. She and her now husband have been living in sin for twelve years and finally tied the knot.
Outdoor wedding at a very nice farm. Dinner and dancing to follow. Looked forward to happy event.
Immediately....and I mean immediately after the "kiss the bride", the entire wedding party got into trucks and left. They were gone for about what seemed to be an hour. Turns out they all went to the bar and had drinks.
When I asked what the deal was I was told "It's a Nebraska thing." Ok. My parents came from this exact part of the state and I never heard of this tradition.
Any other wedding traditions to confuse the outsiders?
I thought everyone did that. Here though, the bridesmaids "steal" the groom and the groomsmen "steal" the bride and go bar hopping at different (separate) bars for about an hour. Yep. Pretty much the M.O. here. Mothers in law and such can get a bit uppity about newlyweds actually having fun after the ceremony. We ran to the bar anyway.
"Their minds are dead" - Carmine Ricca
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,167
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,167 |
I have a wedding to attend this weekend. I like the bride and groom but the whole deal is silly. People traveling in some cases thousands of miles to come sweat their collective asses off at an outdoor wedding in east TX. Thousands of dollars spent on clothes and shoes that’ll never be worn again plus all the other foofoora that goes along with it.
I like my grandparents’ style, they got married on a Sunday afternoon in the spring in the preacher’s yard with only my Grandad’s dad as the witness. Paid the preacher $5 and charged headlong into life together. Been 69 years this past month.
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