Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Difference Between men & Women.

Take the time to read this one, it's not that long. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. CAUTION: It's a little raunchy in a couple of spots.

The professor told his class one day, 'Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me.

The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached.'

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary.

-------------------------------------------

THE STORY

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary )

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,” he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far…” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. 'Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?' she wondered wistfully.

( Gary )

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

( Gary )

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F**KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!”

(Rebecca)

[bleep]!


( Gary )

Bitch!

(Rebecca)

F**K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!

( Gary )

Go drink some tea - whore.


(TEACHER)

A+! I really liked this one.


So did I.

L.W.

Thanks for posting! I laughed from word one!

RS

😁

LOL !

TFF

Leanwolf,

self acknowledged wordsmith that you are. One question...........................





were you the teacher?

LOL!

Was good and needed the laugh ,there damn well might be a woman who matches me or exceeds my level but I won't agree to that until I see how well she writes in the snow. Lol

No, I'm afraid I wouldn't have the patience.

Glad you guys got a laugh. Laughs come in handy these days.

L.W.

Ha ha.

My wife was upset with me the other day because I was upset that every dang tablespoon was in the dishwarsher when I wanted to use one. In the past I've told her we should do like Scouts. One spoon, one fork, one bowl, etc etc. She told me I'd have to live that way and set aside one of each for me.

My siblings and I have a daily text stream going. I let them know about our squable, sent them a pic of the set aside items, and told them my wife should know better than to get in a pissing contest with a man. We can write our names in the snow.

Just for the sake of comparison...
I read this and got a pretty good laugh out of it. I’m sitting on the other end of the couch. Penny says “what’s so funny”.
So I hand it over to her, still laughing some.
She read it, just rolled her eyes and handed the phone back!
7mm

That's the difference right there!

Excellent LW. Thanks for posting that. I would have given the same grade. Still funny.

Thanks, I needed the chuckle!

I laughed hard out loud.😂😂

That’s outstanding❗️

BTW
Did those two get married😁😁

Oh that was funny. Reminded me of a girl I was forced to work with on a project in grad school.

Bb

Mine would do the same thing. Her saving grace is that she hates libtards.

That's not the type of "woman" I generally look for.