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Renegade’s and BigDave’s stories in the douchey names thread got me reminiscing a little bit about time in the patch.



I was on a lease back in about 2014 that had a railroad track running right through the little access road. Some hands ran to town that night and got wasted. Coming back to the rig they got hit by the train about 200 yards from the rig. They walked away from it but the pickup was toast. Needless to say, they got run off.

Saw a guy drop a stand of 8” from the board tryin to latch up. Clanged around in the derrick for a bit and nobody got hurt. Scared the hell out of some people, though.

Saw a derrickhand come down the Geronimo line butt naked when they called him to take a drug test. Figured he was run off so he went out in style.

Saw a motorhand go inside a porta potty and then two floorhands ratchet strapped it shut, picked it up with a telehandler, and set it on top of the company man’s house.

Saw a roustabout get put in the hospital after putting a tarantula on a driller’s shoulder.

Saw a safety man who was a self-proclaimed jam up driller get on the handle to let the driller go smoke and twist the BHA off within 5 minutes.



I’ll think of more, but let’s hear some of your best stories.

Heard of the the motor and floor hand getting caught fugking in the mixing shack. Both dudes.

To all the enviro-weenies who cry out that oil drilling hurts wildlife: I've cut deer and turkey and coyote tracks that went up to and around the fence at the base of an active pumpjack.

Yeah, there are critters on pads all the time

Couple of the leases I’ve been on have had deer on the pad. Routinely saw coyotes running within 1/4 mile of the rig, too. Had a night co man pay a landowner to hunt the lease. Stashed a bow off location and would hunt every morning. He could cook, too, and fed us several times from deer he’d killed.

Sounds like rig stories,

we were at the Bollinger shipyard in Fourchon once.

Roustabout was on the dock to keep up who was on dock and rig.

One night on of the roustabouts came barreling down the gang plank with his duffle bag. This was around 12 midnight.

Hey John, where you headed with your bag?

I'm gone.

That was it.

Dude was walking. From Fourchon. Middle of the night. No one ever talked to him again.

coyote up northwest of Jal New Mexico that would eat out of my hand.

After taking two serious kicks I fired the mud man. He was really skinny and about 6’5” tall.

About 30 minutes later a short squatty guy came up to me and said, “you de one dat fired my brudder?”

I said “I fired the mud man “

He said, “Dats my brudder and so f’k me too, I quit”.


Another time going out to relieve my alternate I saw a big box marked for the rig and told the dock hand to put it on the chopper.

Got to the rig and told them unload it from the bird and take it down to the pipe rack with the crane. I went into the office and my alternate was yelling and raising hell with the warehouse wanting to know where the new bit was and he was really loud. I told him it’s on the pipe rack, I brought it. He continues yelling at the shore base and I told him I brought it.

He said hold on then asked me “what?” I repeated, I brought it.

He then said, “ well what’s all the f’kn yelling about?”

Too many stories to mention.

Workover rig was busting ass on a round trip. Me and the head cementer were talking in his company pickup when a stick of drill pipe got away and slid down the ramp punching a hole in the truck bed.

Time to move,worm.

Jal, now there is a garden spot.

Many moons ago I had a hand call me from the field.

"Bossman, I need hazard pay."
"Uh, WTF, over?"
"You know that old mattress under the trees off XX road?"
"Yeah, been there for years. So what?"
"Just saw two drunk Natives fuqqing like wild dogs on it, and I don't get paid enough for that [bleep]."
"Understood...send me the req."

I was at the Exxon getting gas and a raccoon fell off the roof and onto a lady’s Camry.

I seen a Blue Bird school bus goin down the road with a raccoon stuck in the pop up roof vent. Driver oblivious. I was gonna flag it down but most bus drivers are cûnts so I let it roll on.
Bus was empty, bet it was interesting when kids starting loading up.

would have a hot truck bring shine from my house in corpus out to the location for the company men.

I only worked in the oilfied about a year after high school. I had about the lowest job you can have in the oilfield, testing pipe. Didn't take me long to realize I didn't want to do that the rest of my life. Went to college and became an accountant.

Not me, but the family I worked for had a bunch of family members on a drilling rig since they owned the lease. I was told they didn't have a blowout preventer as there's not much gas around here. They must have hit a pocket of gas because there was an explosion. A couple rig hands and several family members go burned pretty bad, including a kid.

A friend was riding the blocks up in a pulling unit tower instead of climbing up. Slipped off and fell. Told the insurance company he slipped when he was climbing so he could collect work comp.

Knew a female geologist who would strip down and change clothes in the dog house in front of the rig hands. Didn't bother her at all.

G23

Drilling ahead with slow progress when the Varco swivel below the top drive started shedding pieces.

The driller was a Ole Boy called Cadillac. He got on the Gai-Tronics and in his southern drawl said “if any body out there loves me please come have a look at Mr. Varco“.

You guys would be a hoot playing Oil Rig Jobs Names Pictionary.

LMAO

🦫

Was picking up garbage that the workover crew left after working over a well on my place.

Wife picked up a rag.....it was covered in schit.

No one pumped the field that day.

They left and didn't come back.

There’s a sad stories side too like losing 7 good men in one incident which was a bizarre comedy of errors that led up to the event.

And 4 others that should have never happened but did.