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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 2,387
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 2,387 |
Two lawyers walking down a street saw a beautiful gal walking towards them.
Lawyer 1 says "Hey look at that beauty, whatya say we try to screw her?"
Lawyer 2 answers "OK outa what?"
Life (and forums) is like a box of animal crackers----There's a Jackass in every box
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,946
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 10,946 |
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 5,794
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 5,794 |
What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey vomit
Whatever you said...everyone knows you are a lying jerk. That's a bold assertion. Point out where you think I lied. Well?
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,905
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,905 |
As you’re driving by a cemetery…,,,,
Do you know why there’s a fence around that cemetery? ‘Cause people are dying to get in!
Have to admit, I laughed every time. Not because it was funny, but at how hard my Dad laughed. Sure do miss him!
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Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 2,212
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2015
Posts: 2,212 |
What is a wok ?
Something you throw at a wabbit.
Can you make a right here?
I don't know,can you make a shoe smell ?
How do you know which way your underwear goes on?
Yellow in the front,brown in the back.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,779
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 13,779 |
My dad brought cookies he made to my best friend's birthday party.
My friend's mother asked my dad for the recipie...
Dad responded, "The trick is I Iput enough dough into my belly button
to measure out the perfect size for each cookie."
"That's disgusting!" said the mom.
Dad replied, "Oh, then you're not going to like the way I make doughnuts."
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,947
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,947 |
[quote=mauserand9mm]What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey vomit
What’s invisible and smells like bananas
Monkey farts
Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,147
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,147 |
Not a joke, but rather a statement. I've carried the legacy on, my son knows them well.
"You're about as funny as a fart in a space suit"
"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine".
Misssd that old man.
Last edited by DaveR; 11/24/21.
Guns are responsible for killing as much as Rosie O'Donnel's fork is responsible for her being FAT.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,099
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 13,099 |
Not a joke, but rather a statement. I've carried the legacy on, my son knows them well.
"You're about as funny as a fart in a space suite"
"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine".
Miss that old man. How big is the suite? One room or two?
Obey lawful commands. Video interactions. Hold bad cops accountable. Problem solved.
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
Member #547
Join date 3/09/2001
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,147
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,147 |
Not a joke, but rather a statement. I've carried the legacy on, my son knows them well.
"You're about as funny as a fart in a space suite"
"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine".
Miss that old man. How big is the suite? One room or two? Okay, okay....suit. Got me.
Guns are responsible for killing as much as Rosie O'Donnel's fork is responsible for her being FAT.
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Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 11
New Member
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New Member
Joined: Sep 2021
Posts: 11 |
You know how ducks fly in a vee formation and usually one side is longer than the other, do you know why that is?
There are more ducks on that side.
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 599
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 599 |
Kangaroo hops up to the bar and orders a scotch bartender says 5 bucks ...hey its not everyday we get a kangaroo in here ..kangaroo says it's no wonder at those prices.
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,004
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,004 |
Why did Melinda divorce Bill Gates ?
Micro soft !
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants".
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Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,004
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 5,004 |
Why can't witches get pregnant ?
Their husbands have hollow weenies !
"The welfare of humanity is always the alibi of tyrants".
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Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 258
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 258 |
When someone asks if I got a haircut I usually reply,
No I got them all cut.
Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422 |
diarrhea is hereditary
it runs in your jeans
Life is but the memories we've created.....Sully Erna
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422 |
You know where I keep all my dad jokes?
In my dad-a-base
Life is but the memories we've created.....Sully Erna
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,422 |
I get the same thing every time i go to McDonalds
Diarrhea
Life is but the memories we've created.....Sully Erna
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Joined: Nov 2021
Posts: 61
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Nov 2021
Posts: 61 |
Haha some good laughs here
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Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 21,628
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Feb 2013
Posts: 21,628 |
Crows are mighty intelligent son...
When they see a vehicle coming... they all yell...
Caw, Caw, Caw... and fly away...
-----------------------------------------
I can still hear my boys saying "DADDDD" to that one.
Last edited by CashisKing; 11/25/21. Reason: Damn autocorrect typos
If you are not actively engaging EVERY enemy you encounter... you are allowing another to fight for you... and that is cowardice... plain and simple.
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Forums81
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Jul 7th, 2023
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