Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Public Embarrassment: Family Edition

Have you ever had a family member embarrass you in public? Examples:

“Miss Vickie, Daddy is here to pick me up! His diarrhea must be gone!” - my 4 year-old at preschool.

“Woooooo! Schit stink!” - my mother (English is distant 2nd language that she has compiled mostly from working around US military) in the line at the grocery store after smelling someone who could use a bath.

“You sure don’t get many of THEM to the POUND!” - my dad, who is hard of hearing and says things really loud, as a large woman walked by.

My Grandfather was very hard of hearing so he yelled everything. My sister had just got back from Hawaii and had a good tan. We were at a big event in a packed room. He yelled to her: "you get any darker and you'll have to ride in the back of the bus!"
I laughed my ass off. She was embarrassed.

When my sister was little (late 70s), she asked a young black PFC in the PX if he was a negro. My Dad, who was a CW2 at the time, was pretty embarrassed.

My sisters husband. When I introduce him to anyone new I say “This is Danny, he’s a Democrat.”

Pisses him off more every time.

My sister laughs her ass off.

If he’s going to be an idiot, willfully, he’s lucky he doesn’t have to wear a badge! Well, some do. It’s called face tattoos.

He says he’s an independent but voted for Obama. I don’t think he’s a Biden boy.

Idgaf tho, I’ll do it from now on.

When my daughter was about 2 1/2 I took her with me to go pick up a meal we'd ordered.

Pulled up, and they had a specific lobby for take out orders. Ok...

So I have my daughter's hand and when I open the door, it's FULL of nothing but black folks.

Knowing my daughter and some of the vocabulary she had at the time, I quickly shut the door, and told her "When we go inside, we are going to play the 'Quiet Game'... Not one word, okay?"

She agreed and we went inside to pick up the order...

As I was paying, she started tugging on my arm. I looked down and shook my head at her.. She kept tugging my arm. I was hoping we'd get out without incident.

Not to be!

When I turned around to leave, she said (VERY loudly) "Daddy, it STINKS in here!"

I never said a word. Everyone was looking. We just left and I laughed all the way home.

Really couldn't fault her for telling the truth.

While doing the final walkthrough of the home we bought this year with the seller and agent the seller said they had decided last minute they were going to leave us their TV mounted on the wall in the garage. My Autistic 7yr old son popped into the conversation and scratching his head with a puzzled expression says “I don’t get it, I thought only black people did that! Watch TV in their Driveway.” I shouldn’t have asked but I did “ What! Why would you say that? Who told you that?” He said “When we’re late for school mom drives us through the alley and I see those people with dark skin watching TV next to their cars!” Before he can even finish my 9 year old daughter who thinks she knows everything appears out of nowhere and jumps in to scold and correct her little brother and shouted at him with disgust “Will, those aren’t black people!, Their Mexicans!” The look we got from the seller made me think if they could have taken the house back at that point they would. My wife kinda hid from them for the rest of the meeting, as she and the seller had earlier been talking about our kids not going to the public school where the seller was the principal and going to a church school instead. But I got a free TV!

My dad was pretty good at this- one time when we were kids he cut loose with a stinkiest, most foul fart I can remember while in a shopping aisle in the store. He just nonchalantly walked around the end of the aisle, down the next aisle, and back to where he cut loose just as my mother got to that point and said "Mom, what did you do?" loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear him... I thought for sure she was going to kill him right then and there...

My son is an expert at this- I could tell stories about stuff he has done but just a couple will tell the story.. these stories are when he was in his thirties or so and he is 44 now but things haven't changed much...

One time I was in the Pharmacy at my local Bimart getting a prescription and flirting a bit with the cute girl at the counter while she was ringing me up. I heard behind me "dad, I know these aren't the ones you had a coupon for, but this looks like a good deal". I turned around and he his holding the biggest case of adult diapers I've ever seen... I just shook my head and turned around to see the cute gal behind the counter turned red and try hard not to laugh...

Another time he is in PetSmart with his wife and step kids. They walk up to the enclosure with the Chincillas and they are going at it like honeymooning teenagers.... my son calls the Petsmart employee over and asks him in front of his family "my kids want to know what they are doing?"... while the employee tries everything to get away without answering , my son continues to engage him as long as possible for maximum embarrassment . His wife was about to strangle him by time he let the poor employee escape....

I could go on for days with stuff like this. It's a game in our family as I was raised with three brothers and four sisters and we all did our best to embarrass each other when we weren't beating the heck out of each other....

In the late 60s I was wearing my pants kind of tight. One Xmas my aunt said, "If you fart the ass on those will split."

I farted, they didn't, we all laughed.

It’s a good thing I’ve finished my coffee. You guys are killin’ me 🤣😂

Lol. 😆

My dad needs hearing aids but is always worried he’ll lose them so he takes them out all the time if he is with people who can talk for him like my mom or I. He also has no poker face or filter once has one drink. So when we’re go on our annual family vacation and are in the airport I have a made a game of getting dad into the airport bar in the morning to get a Bloody Mary to celebrate the start of a vacation and them meet my mom and the rest of the family at Starbucks. Then find a bench and watch dad watch people go through Starbucks. He doesn’t get out much and with every thought painting on his face he stares with wonder disgust and amazement at how society has changed what is accepted at an airport. Then because he doesn’t have his hearing aids in he thinks he is whispering as he elbows and asks my mom questions like “does the guy wear an ear ring on his right or left to signal they’re gay? Those guys have both?” Or “was that a man or a woman? “ or “thank god my kids never came home with pink or blue hair” my mother is turning red shushing him, and my wife is staring me down as I’m laughing.

When I was about 4years old, my Mom took us kids grocery shopping. In line ahead of us was a black man. Mom said I stared at him transfixed till I finally blurted out “Mom! Why is his skin so dark? Did he stay outside in the sun too long?”
She said he just laughed as I continued to stare at him wide eyed. She would get all embarrassed and red in the face for years when that story would get re-told. It was a long time before I was allowed to go shopping with her.

While at a sushi restaurant, my Father (God rest his soul) thought nothing of referring to the Asian waiter as "Charlie".
As in " Hey Charlie , can you bring me a couple slices of bread "?
He figured since everyone where he worked referred to him as "Kraut" is was OK.

My son, about four, pointed at some folks near us and said, "Mom, those people are b_l_a_c_k". Guess he figured they couldn't spell.

When I was a freshman in high school, there was some sort of issue with the school buses so my dad had to drive me to school. I asked if a neighborhood kid could get a ride and he said it was fine. The kid gets in the car and reeks of cologne and hair product. Dad says, “boy, you smell like a Paris F A G G O T!”

When my cousin was little he sucked his thumb for quite a while. One day my grandfather told him if he kept sucking his thumb his stomach would swell up. A couple of days later they were in the store at the check out line. My cousin turns to the pregnant woman behind him and says, my grandpa told me what you did to get a stomach like this. You are a very bad girl.

LMAO!!!

My youngest brother was a thumbsucker.

One day out at the ranch, riding around with my grandad in his pickup through the pasture, he looked over and my brother was sucking his thumb.

He never said anything. He eventually stopped the truck and told us to get out. He took my brother by the arm and lead him a few steps to a big cow patty, and grabbed his thumb and stuck it down in that cow pie!

My brother never sucked his thumb again in front of Grandad!