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I like pie but if you think you need to go R rated or more to sell books, you could cover Michelle Jenneke in whipped cream.....

It's kind of fun reimagining Senior year of high school with a bit of artistic license.... well OK Michelle Jenneke even without whipped cream would be a lot of creative memory but good Lord that woman has some moves.


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I could only dream of living up to those standard, Mister Renegade.


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Originally Posted by 2ndwind
Rather than start a Secret club house thread I'll just add my PM response here:



OK I've read the first 3 and want more. I do have a question.

"Hey!
Grab yourself a floor pillow. Nancy will be along shortly to take your pie order. Remember to ask what she made before making a choice."

Does Nancy take requests? If so peach pie with a big dollop of fresh whip cream on top. The proper level of sugar and fat helps me concentrate....

I thought I'd found a typo right off but it turns out you got the name right

https://www.vintag.es/2021/02/rambler-marlin.html

An obscure personal luxury car I'd never heard of.

Would you like me to start a Welcome to the Secret Clubhouse thread or has one already been started?
You know it makes a good low rider... Those windows give it two dimensions of ridculosity..


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First chapter does a great job hooking you. Very believable with the Bengal's losing. What was old Ardno up to? I am anxious to keep reading and find out. My favorite fiction books all have the same type of character as the the protagonist. Smart and quick witted. Seems like yours will be along the same lines. One thing that may be missing is I don't think we ever get his name in the first chapter.

I read the first and already want to read the next few. BTW what are your other books I will have to look them up and buy them?

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The background of the website reading it also is rough. The lines of the notebook paper in the back sometimes line up with the words and other times are running directly through the words.

Chapter 2 was great. Detective did a good job of acting busy and not wanting to listen to the kid until he finally realized the kid may actually be on to something.

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Chapter 3 girl comes up and asks if he is Jack, never says what her name is until he says "When Ken’s acts came on, I left Kara, where she was an, pulled my beanbag around so she could see better."

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While the rest of you guy keep thinking about cheerleaders in the back seat of lowriders.... I'm still stuck on pie. There I said it, guess I'm officially an old guy now.

There is good pie and in rare cases there is transcendent pie. Pretty much anyone can follow a pie filling recipe and get good results but the crust seems to involve a kind of alchemy. This woman may have cracked the code.



Please do continue to develop the female characters surrounding the protagonist "fully" but if some of that includes the mention of a trace of flour noticeable inside the chevage of her low cut blouse well that could work... grin


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Reese Harold Palmer. I think I made formal introductions in chapter 2

The Shamanic Bibliography


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Originally Posted by clwg97
Chapter 3 girl comes up and asks if he is Jack, never says what her name is until he says "When Ken’s acts came on, I left Kara, where she was an, pulled my beanbag around so she could see better."

Thanks. I've got to fix that.

Originally Posted by clwg97
The background of the website reading it also is rough. The lines of the notebook paper in the back sometimes line up with the words and other times are running directly through the words.

Chapter 2 was great. Detective did a good job of acting busy and not wanting to listen to the kid until he finally realized the kid may actually be on to something.

I'm not particularly tied to the background. I'll see what I can do.

I loved Det. McAninch. He's the ultimate Dirty Columbo. I could write him all day.


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Definitely interested to see how the Detective character develops.

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Originally Posted by shaman
I know that I'm dealing with middle-aged men.

It's funny, but I actually wrote my first novel out in the open on TLEE's old board. TLEE's best advice was after reading chapter 2 and saying "Where are the tits?" I turned around and wrote in a torrid affair with a water nymph that gave me maybe 10 chapters of good fodder.

You guys? You're thinking about pie.

BTW: Due to TLEE's prodding, I found out that my first novel's treatment of sex romping was very popular, and I really enjoyed feeding it.

BTW#2: The femme fatale in that first novel is the same one in this. This is somewhat of a prequel to the first book-- at least it exists in the same universe. The difference is the femme fatale in this one is just learning her trade. It is later revealed in the first novel (#2 predates #1 by 5-6 years), that she's a spy that got to go to KGB Blow Job Training. On second thought (sorry) the novel that's out on Amazon, doesn't have the femme fatale. She got bumped to the second book of the trilogy. Sorry, even I get lost sometimes.

To quote a highly 'Americanized' little Thai guy I used to work with opinion on movies,"No sex, no violence, ...me no watch".

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Originally Posted by shaman
Reese Harold Palmer. I think I made formal introductions in chapter 2

The Shamanic Bibliography

Thanks I Purchased both!

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Originally Posted by clwg97
Originally Posted by shaman
Reese Harold Palmer. I think I made formal introductions in chapter 2

The Shamanic Bibliography

Thanks I Purchased both!

Bless you. You just made my day.


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Originally Posted by joken2
[
To quote a highly 'Americanized' little Thai guy I used to work with opinion on movies,"No sex, no violence, ...me no watch".

This novel has both. However, I would defend both the sex and the violence in this way. At no time in any of my novels do I ever dwell on any of it, and it's all about moving the plot along or giving depth to the character. One thing that usually turns me off is when a writer dwells on describing the mechanics of sexual acts:

". . . he thrust his throbbing member. . . "

. . . that kind of stuff. As a reader, I usually skip over it.

With violence and sex, I try and downplay the actual carnage. The reason is that the reader's mind does a far better job of filling in details than any writer can attempt to do.

Yeah, this novel has a body count, and it's significant considering the protagonist is a high-schooler. However, I don't like writing about the effects of bullets passing through body parts.


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Read the next few chapters and they were wonderful! Can't wait to find out who is in the green ford and what is on the film!

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Originally Posted by clwg97
The background of the website reading it also is rough. The lines of the notebook paper in the back sometimes line up with the words and other times are running directly through the words.


Fixed.
Well, at least I tried something different. The background now stays static while the text scrolls. I'd been looking for that control since I installed the weblog. I knew it was there, but the documentation for the theme was ambiguous. Let me know what you think.


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Originally Posted by shaman
Originally Posted by clwg97
The background of the website reading it also is rough. The lines of the notebook paper in the back sometimes line up with the words and other times are running directly through the words.


Fixed.
Well, at least I tried something different. The background now stays static while the text scrolls. I'd been looking for that control since I installed the weblog. I knew it was there, but the documentation for the theme was ambiguous. Let me know what you think.

It definitely looks a lot better to me! Thank you!

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Um, still looks like legal pad background to me. Otherwise keep up the good work.


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So I bought The Glenfield on Kindle I can read it on the computer but when I search for the book on my Kindle the search results don't show it anywhere? I've checked the spelling tried all capital letters my latest gen kindle shows zip?

Maybe I'm missing something simple (it wouldn't be the first time) or maybe there is a glitz. Anyone else tried to download this?


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I can’t believe I wasted 48 seconds skimming this thread….


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