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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 93
Campfire Greenhorn
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Campfire Greenhorn
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 93 |
When asked how far he went the explorer said; I was so far North, the North star was South!
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Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,839
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,839 |
Head for the round house Nellie,he can’t corner you there
Cheaper than a pair of split- cowhide shoes
She’s got him twitched like a Georgia Mule
He looked like he got hit with a harness tug
Bad as a Cribben Horse
Better than a soap Poultice
He is going to Town he got on his sugar watered starched overalls
He’s got his self a pocket full of flub-Stubs,going to town
Prettier than a new sack of seed corn
Prettier than new pair of 5 buckle overshoes
Coming into money, he’s smoking tailor mades
His dog so lazy , if you a hot poker under his ass , he’d lay there and howl instead of getting up and move
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,392
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,392 |
Busier than a cucumber in a women’s prison.
I prefer classic. Semper Fi I used to run with the hare. Now I'm envious of the tortoise and I do my own stunts but rarely intentionally
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,234
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,234 |
That’s harder than a dump truck full of neck bones!
Doc_Holidude
Livin ain’t killed me yet, but it’s workin on it!
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Joined: Mar 2022
Posts: 530
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2022
Posts: 530 |
Sweating more than a whore in church.
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Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 2,340
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2021
Posts: 2,340 |
Prettier than a bucket full of hog livers.
Last edited by roverboy; 04/03/22.
Why do I have to press 1, for English?
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Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 4,813
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 4,813 |
Hotter n two boys kissin.
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Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,234
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,234 |
Prettier than a petunia in a patch of chigger weed!
Livin ain’t killed me yet, but it’s workin on it!
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 362
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 362 |
Colder than a school marms heart. So ugly, she could scare the flies off a gut wagon. So ugly, she could make a freight train take a dirt road. If he was a muskrat, he would chew off three legs and still be in the trap.
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 647
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 647 |
Scarcer than hens teeth.
That dog won’t hunt.
If his lips are moving, he’s lying.
Feel like I have been rode hard and put up wet.
I’m going to box your ears.
I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.
Drunk as Cooter Brown.
Highflutin.
Rick Grimes for Governor "This isn't a democracy anymore"
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Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 211
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Mar 2020
Posts: 211 |
Hotter than a half fuxxed fox in a forest fire Hotter’n three in a bed Queer as a three dollar bill If ya can’t swallow it, spit it out She got a bee in her bonnet ( that’s when she is mad) Tighter than skin on a grape Tighter than 10 coats of paint The s h I t s gettin deep
Last edited by Mrhp; 04/21/22.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,699
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 4,699 |
I heard this a lot growin’ up (we were pretty poor)… wish in one hand and $hit in the other and see which one fills up faster.
We lived so far back in the woods we got Monday night football on Thursday night!
Is a frogs a$$ water tight?!?
That kids so ugly had to tie a pork chop around his/her neck to get the dogs to play with ‘em.
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Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,392
Campfire Outfitter
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Campfire Outfitter
Joined: May 2014
Posts: 10,392 |
𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐬𝐝𝐨𝐦:
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
If you don't take the time to do it right, you'll find the time to do it twice.
Don't corner something that is meaner than you.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
Don't be banging your shin on a stool that's not in the way.
Borrowing trouble from the future doesn't deplete the supply.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Silence is sometimes the best answer.
Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin' you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
I prefer classic. Semper Fi I used to run with the hare. Now I'm envious of the tortoise and I do my own stunts but rarely intentionally
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,072
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,072 |
BOY? You call boy? I’ve got enough hair on my azz to weave two Indian blankets, and you call me boy?? Yep. And I'd call an alligator a lizard, too!
~Molɔ̀ːn Labé Skýla~
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Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 128
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2020
Posts: 128 |
He would rather climb a tree and tell a lie than stand on the ground and tell the truth!
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Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 122
Campfire Member
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Campfire Member
Joined: Feb 2021
Posts: 122 |
Uglier than an outhouse door on a tuna boat
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 24,472
Campfire Ranger
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Campfire Ranger
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 24,472 |
“Does a bear $hit in the woods?” Is quite common, but this is real redneck:
Are the Kennedys gun shy?
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,037
Campfire Kahuna
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Campfire Kahuna
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 56,037 |
If chitt could fly he'd have wings.
I am..........disturbed.
Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn't any. But this wrongs the jackass. -Twain
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Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,947
Campfire Regular
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Campfire Regular
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,947 |
Shining like a diamond in a goat’s ass
Only Dead Fish Go With The Flow
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Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 5,569
Campfire Tracker
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Campfire Tracker
Joined: Jan 2021
Posts: 5,569 |
Looks like she fell out the ugly tree and hit every limb down.
Talking about an ugly woman "I'd hit that.... With a baseball bat"
I wouldn't touch her with a 10ft pole.
I wouldn't fuçk her with your diçk
Taste so good it'll make your tongue slap your brains out.
Looks like something the dogs drug up and the cats won't drag off.
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
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