Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire Old farmer talk for--

You'd rather bite the head off a rattlesnake than fug with me!

Stomp a mudhole in your ads

Tougher than woodpecker lips
Stiffer than a wedding prick

Where the buzzards fu(k the hoot owls

More than one way to choke a cat than with butter.
Was my grandpa’s favorite.

Dry as a popcorn fart
Worthless as teats on a boar pig
Rougher than a cob
Homily as mud fence
He is such a tight azz, you couldn’t drive a flaxseed up his azz with a sledgehammer.

Busier than a cat with two tales
Nervous as a whore in church.


There is more I can’t remember.

You're so stupid you could screw up polio.....

Have no idea how that worked, only heard one fella use it and he used it quite a bit....

Meaner than a gut shot rattlesnake.

He can squeeze a nickel so tight, it'll make the buffalo burp.

Sweating like a niqqer on election day.

Hotter than a two dollar pistol on a Saturday night.

If you could buy him what he's worth, and sell him for what he thinks he's worth, you'd be a millionaire.

Plow you like a rented mule

Squeeze a Buffalo Nickle so hard you can make him fart.

Busy as a cat in a sandbox.

Wreck an anvil in a sandbox

Haul your ashes

Tighter than old Dicks hat band.
Hornier than a two peckered Billy goat

It runs like a raped ape!

Not worth shootin if you wanted to unload your gun.

More guts than you could hang on a fence.

Purtier than a new red heifer.

Heard an old fella describing a woman as being so fat that he estimated she had.....

40 lbs of pure hanging puzzy.....

You dont want to be in the middle of a bite off a bbq sandwich when you hear that for the first time.

Colder than a witch's tit.

I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

That boy's the weak tit of the bunch.

Busier than a cat trying to cover s hit on a hot tin roof.

While pulling out wire by hand , till it gets rediculously heavy some one says with a smile , pull hard , it’ll come easy

Suck her p$&&y till her ear drums slap together

A newbie struggling with a task , “is there anything I can do to make it worse”

Knock your dick in your watch pocket

Sicker than a whore on a piss pot

Hotter than the hinges if hell

If we had some ham we would have some ham and eggs if we had some eggs

Six of one half dozen of the other

Missed by an inch , might as well missed by a mile

Same thing , only different

Eats shiet and barks at the moon