Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire The Shaman -- Being Thankful

I've told y'all before: I don't feel all that special. It's like the guys who come back as war heroes and don't want to be called heroes. It's hard to think of being exceptional or inspiring when all you did was put one foot in front of another for six months, crawl into a recliner, stagger out, wash, rinse and repeat. There was no emergency cord to pull. There was no train to get off, and I would not have if I'd had the chance. The pain and discomfort were no worse than a bad case of the trots. It just went on for 3 months. I'm also not going to try sounding heroic by telling you I met real heroes in that Infusion suite that had it worse than me. They signed the release forms, same as I did. Some folks get lucky and get to ring the bell and go home. Some don't.

As I wrote to another camper yesterday:

"When I look back on it now, so much of it comes back like a crappy dream. My memory was affected. It still is. The Chemo-brain is slowly starting to lift, but I've got big holes. Mostly, what I remember is (quite literally) putting one foot in front of the other and trying to make the next wall to steady myself. You guys, reading the stuff on the Campfire secondhand, may have a better view of things than I did. I still can't bring myself to go back and read those entries. My family stopped reading them early on and never went back. It was too hard on them."

So what do I have to be thankful for? I should be pissed off at some unseen force for being asleep at the wheel and letting this happen. Honestly, when I finally got my one wish last week, that didn't occur to me. All I'd asked for was to be able to make it up into my treestand for the Rifle Opener. I did. I got settled in and 10 minutes before legal hunting started, it started to rain and fairly quickly became pouring rain and then driving rain, and by the time the truck came and got me 4 hours later I was worn out and my gear was soaked and I could not feel my hands.



. . . but I'd been up that tree, I'd walked out there under my own power in the dark and climbed that ladder and that was all that had really counted. If you're looking to me for answers about how God answers prayers, this is all I have to offer.
The bonus came a few days later when I roused briefly out of a nap and saw this fellow in the tall grass at the far end of the pasture:



Am I thankful? Yes. To what? To Whom? For what? In a lot of ways, I have nothing but my own cussedness to thank. However, I have to recognize even that moldy spark-- I fancy it smells like a burned fart-- must have a source. At the bottom of that well of flatus is the Divine, and for that, I am eternally and most humbly grateful.

As it is, I'm due to get some more tests soon to see if the bug juice really did its job. I'm not expecting any surprises, but there is always a chance. Either way, I'm due to be putting away the deer rifles soon and start looking towards April and Turkey Season. One foot in front of the other-- wash, rinse, repeat.

We've enjoyed you taking us along and have been pulling for you.
We all have many things to be thankful for,sometimes we just don't see it.
Congrats on the buck and Happy Thanksgiving.

Shaman, perhaps like me, you wonder why The Good Lord is keep me around so long, think He has something for us to do?

Boom , another pearl.
Good to see you getting it done. Take Care

I for one find your journey, and the telling of it very grounding.

Sharing the trials makes me realize that life is, at its core, an attempt to keep breathing till you can't. One can face it with good humor or flail at the injustice one perceives to have been confronted with.

You have an aptitude for yarn spinning, and bared your soul in the play by play.

Glad to see you push through, although it be a temporary thing as Old Scratch gets us all in the end, the scrabble for life goes on.

Shaman,

Glad to hear that you "Keep Moving Forward..." Next time you are down to the camp with a few extra hours. Shoot me a PM. We can hit up El Paso or Howard's for some grub and swap tales...

God Bless !

As the Shaman says, some walk out of the center and others take a different route.

I have been comparing the Shaman treatment and my niece’s treat ment. My niece has started the next round in in her care. Her follow up tests did not come back very good in the results. They provided a 10 month window time left here. however she is being positive recovering from surgery and is in a 6 week daily treatment plan. Doing all she can to stay around to watch her children graduate from high school.

Like the Shaman says it is one day at a time. Take nothing for granted.

So many people have no idea what it means to give thanks. May you and your family have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving day, sir.

Shaman, you have described the journey extremely well.
I've seen "The Warden" travel that road twice, now, and could not describe it as aptly as you.
"Chemo brain" affects people differently, I'm sure. May you get all your memories back.
She is still missing things - many are surprising to me.
Be well and keep slogging, my friend. And Happy Thanksgiving to you and all your "crew"!

Cool. I've been. . . well busy. However, I plan on doing more of that sort of thing now that I'm retired.

Another thing I'm thinking of is reviving the idea of a Greater Cincy 24hourcampfire meet and greet. Everytime I've tried to schedule it in the past, it's either been somebody's died, I've gotten sick, or I got laid off. Maybe this time will work.

Amen.

My 92-yo mother has asked many times “why am I still here?” The answer is easy: repeatedly, I have seen her be a blessing to others, including me. She still offers sage advice, she speaks words of kindness to those having a bad day, she offers perspectives of humility and thankfulness.

Today, we will lunch with her 88-yo little sister, celebrating her birthday — and grieving the loss of her 62-yo son to suicide earlier this year. Mom will be a blessing to her little sister today.

Shaman, thanks for your perspectives. You are a blessing. Keep ‘em coming.