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#17847326 11/28/22
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Campfire 'Bwana
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Blond man shouts to his wife from the bathroom that he needs help with shampoo. She asks if he can't find it. He replies that he found it, but it says it's for dry hair and he just wet his.

Blond man responds to the ring of the doorbell to find a large envelope lying on the mat. Envelope is stamped "Do Not Bend". After trying for two hours to figure out how to pick it up without bending, he gives up and leaves it there.

Blond man frantically shouts into the phone that his wife is pregnant and her contractions are two minutes apart. The doctor inquires if this is her first child. Man shouts back, "NO! This is her husband!"


Not a real member - just an ordinary guy who appreciates being able to hang around and say something once in awhile.

Happily Trapped In the Past (Thanks, Joe)

Not only a less than minimally educated person, but stupid and out of touch as well.
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You know John, back when I had hair, it was blond. laugh


These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Originally Posted by wabigoon
You know John, back when I had hair, it was blond. laugh
I think we all suspected that.

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Elvis was naturally blonde.


There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self. -Ernest Hemingway
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.-- Edward John Phelps
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Minnesota and Iowa Guys? What Gentlemen? NO Sven and Ole Jokes?

Sven was out hunting with Ole, they are split up...
Sven comes across this beautiful well built blonde who is half nude...
She smiles at him and Says " Hi Honey, are you game?"
Sven says NO, I'm NOT Game...
She says " Well I sure am!"
Sven didn't know what to do, so he shot her...
Gets on his cell phone, calls Ole, says " Hey Ole, get over here.. I got one!"

Ole and Sven are out hunting... Ole accidently shoots at a deer and misses, but hits Sven.
He calls for an ambulance on his cell phone.. they come and get Sven and Rushes him to the hospital.
he is immediately rushed into surgery.
Doctor comes out of surgery and tells Ole, "sorry we couldn't save your friend Ole"
Ole starts to cry.. Doc tells Ole " I know you and Sven were out deer hunting.. the next time you accidently shoot your hunting partner, just because you shot him, doesn't mean you have to gut him"...

Sven comes down from International Falls to visit his cousin Ole in Duluth.
They are walking down the Street, and Sven eyes what he thinks is a beautiful woman walking down the opposite side of the street.
Sven is all excited and tells Ole, "look at that babe.. She's for me.. I'm going to go over there and ask her for a date."
Ole tells Sven, "forget about it... She's a lesbian Ole, she won't go out with you..."
So Sven walks up to the gal he thinks is so gorgeous, and gives her his best opening line...
" Hey babe, My friend Ole tells me you're a Lesbian, so then, HOW are tings in Beirut?"

15 years living back there.. I use to know a million of 'em.. not good jokes but always good for a chuckle...


"Minus the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the Country" Marion Barry, Mayor of Wash DC

“Owning guns is not a right. If it were a right, it would be in the Constitution.” ~Alexandria Ocasio Cortez

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Campfire 'Bwana
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How do you tell a tourist from Iowa?

he's the one with the crisp new overalls, the crisp clean new white shirt and a fresh crisp $20 bill..
and doesn't change any of them, until he gets back to Dubuque.

What's the best thing to EVER come out of Iowa?
Interstate 80 and Interstate 35.

How do you call your children to let them know supper is ready in Iowa?
Soooo Eyyyy...

I miss the upper Midwest....Good folks.


"Minus the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the Country" Marion Barry, Mayor of Wash DC

“Owning guns is not a right. If it were a right, it would be in the Constitution.” ~Alexandria Ocasio Cortez

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I'm a dumb blonde Norwegian..and still have my hair, thank Christ. Bald ain't too pretty.

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OK, so we're off to the races?

What do you call a pretty girl in Minnesota? a tourist.


These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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James Arness was as blond as his brother Peter Graves.


These premises insured by a Sheltie in Training ,--- and Cooey.o
"May the Good Lord take a likin' to you"
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Sven and Ole are deer hunting in the big woods of northern Minny Sota. Oh, ya. Ole shoots a big buck; ya, it vas a beeg one. While Sven looks on, Ole ties a rope around and just above the the deers hind quarters and starts to drag the buck toward the road about a half mile away, legs and horns catching on everything. Ya.

“No, no, no, ya, Sven proclaims. “Ole, Ya, sure; you must tie the rope around dose big horns and pull that way; it vill go much easier, you betcha”. “Ya, ok.” So Ole undoes his rope from the deer’s waist and retires it around the base of the buck’s horns, give a grunt or two, and begins the ardent drag once again.

After awhile. Sven asks Ole. “Isn’t that much easier Ole?” “Oh, ya sure Sven,” Ole retorts, the sweat dripping from his chin. “But Sven, ya, this GSP thing”….”that’s GPS Ole,…what about it?

“Sven, it shows us 3 miles from the road now.”

Last edited by George_De_Vries_3rd; 11/28/22.
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A blond man told me that Christmas is on the 13th next year.

Let's hope that's not a Friday.

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Sven worked in a logging camp in Oregon one winter but never fit in with the other guys. They were forever playing jokes on Sven, putting frozen turds in his bed, replacing his tobacco with dried pigweed, nailing his boots to the floor. Sven didn't have any friends in camp and one day over lunch someone noticed the camp mascot cat had been run over and smashed into the mud in camp. A couple guys went out with a pickax and broke that cat patty loose and when they went back inside one of them hurled it at Sven.

Their aim was true and it hit him in the head. Sven jumped to his feet, looked around the room and hollered, "Show me da man who hit mai wid da freeze-cat and ah git my satisfy!"

As told to me by an old friend.


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Campfire 'Bwana
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Originally Posted by wabigoon
You know John, back when I had hair, it was blond. laugh

Yeah we could tell.


Camp is where you make it.

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