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Interesting topic. I think someone's clock may have begun to tick.....  I was a little "wild" when I was younger but found a good girl that didn't mind a "bad" boy so I was married in my early twenties. I had no plans for kids at that time but as time went on, I began to make several big life changes which eventually changed my mind. As I started to mature emotionally and spiritually (and stopped getting into trouble), I realized that I would be able to be a good father and husband so I agreed to have kids. Before that I was honestly too damned scared of my gene-pool to even consider it!!!!  Neither of us smoke (I used to but quit a year or so after we got married ~ 14 years ago) which is important, IMO, but we didn't start trying until after my wife was off the pill for almost a year and was taking pre-natal vitamins. Once we started trying to make a family it took very quickly and everything in our control has been pretty well planned, mostly by my wife. My wife stayed home with the kids for ~ 5 years (did daycare which was great) and now teaches kindergarten where my son goes to school and where my daughter will be going next Fall.  We wanted two children and have a 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter that are that far apart on purpose. They get along great and we have a very happy home. I don't think we'll ever be able to "afford" kids but we've done very well considering we're not made of money. Due to the fact that we waited ~ 11 years (married for 7 of those), we already had decent jobs which helped financially. We actively save for retirement and each of our kids have a savings account that we contribute to regularly as well. My son and daughter both participate in activities (baseball/Boy Scouts/gymnastics/dance) which is great but they also have a lot of time to just be kids too which is equally important IMO. We have a full life and I can't tell you how much kids will change your heart. They bring true LOVE from your heart that is more powerful and wonderful than anything you could ever imagine!!! It's truely impossible to even describe and, like others have said, they mean more to me than anything I have or ever could have. While I do feel it's very important to provide for your children and give them all the advantages you can, I believe with every fiber of my being that it's not what you leave TOO your children that determines their success, it's what you leave IN them. We have a warm and happy home filled with LOTS LOVE and that's about as good as it gets IMO!!  My kids probably saved my life, some days I'm not so sure it's a good thing. When I come home and the two oldest run up to give me a hug after a long day, nothing else really matters. When the baby smiles my heart is mush.
Last edited by kciH; 03/14/08.
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." TJ
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing". EB
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Thanks Les. How old are your girls??
Biden's most truthful quote ever came during his first press conference, 03/25/21.
Drum roll please...... "I don't know, to be clear." and THAT is one promise he's kept!!!
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No planning to it...it either happens or it don't...you might try planning but you can't "MAKE" it happen & most times it isn't gonna work out according to your "PLANS"....Best you can hope for is a faithful, honest, loving, respectful mate who shares your moral & religious views & one that won't bail when you hit a financial or emotional rut or two in the road...if the children come in such a relationship...it's the proverbial frosting on the cake...finding a person with those traits though is the tricky part...a lot of people will tell you what they think you want to hear regardless of the "Honesty" part. I was taught young that a persons honesty & integrity was the measure of their worth & that not much else mattered...I believe the same holds true today...Sometimes it's hard to see past the superficial until your a few miles down the road...but once you see past it you won't forget it....
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Well let's just say that the first two were kind of planned, with the first one it went along pretty normal until the it was time to give birth my oldest boy turned into a breech baby with the cord wrapped around his neck so it was by Caesarion section.
The second boy was also a Caesarion Sectiion born two and a half years later.
The last one our daughter came into this world about eight years later. I wouldn't trade any of them for the world. At this point I figured out what caused the problem and besides the wife had all three of the kids by C Section and I couldn't put her through that again so I did the deed and fixed that problem permenatly. Needless to say after twelve years of marriage we went our seperate ways and I've been married to the second wife for almost thiry years now. The first wife passed on last Easter and I have to give her credit she did a wonderful job of raising the kids.
de 73's Archie - W7ACT ![[Linked Image]](https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xaf1/t1.0-9/s180x540/532227_701629896563809_1743684631_n.jpg)
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Best you can hope for is a faithful, honest, loving, respectful mate who shares your moral & religious views & one that won't bail when you hit a financial or emotional rut or two in the road...finding a person with those traits though is the tricky part... I had to laugh when I read that because my wife fits that bill but not because I was a great judge of character. As Stick used to say, I'd rather be lucky than good and that's how it went for me! The day I met my wife I was at my buddies' house because they were moving due to getting kicked out (again) for all the obnoxious partying we did back then. This house was right next to a dance studio where my wife-to-be taught jazz, tap and ballet (sorry Steelhead, no pole-dancing  ) and when she came walking out, I was HOOKED!! Luckily, she turned out to be a great girl and wonderful wife but it was those blue spandex tights that sealed the deal THAT day....  I was on crutches at the time but hobbled over to open her car door which she thought was very nice (I was much skinnier and cuter then  ) so it was all over after that!! Those were some exciting times back then for sure. She should've saw it coming though because when I hobbled over to her car that day, I had a beer-holder on the front of each crutch and a smoke in my mouth - it's a good thing she couldn't spot that wild-hair up my AZZ!!   Thanks for all the great memories.....
Biden's most truthful quote ever came during his first press conference, 03/25/21.
Drum roll please...... "I don't know, to be clear." and THAT is one promise he's kept!!!
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I knew in high school that I'd like to have children sometime down the road...and preferred to have a boy and a girl, in that order. That's high school thinking for you......grin. Not the kids part, just the "I'm gonna have it this way" part.
I loved sports and outdoor stuff since just old enough to be involved in such things. I truly felt that a son or daughter or both would just enhance those experiences. I was right.
My wife, before we married, felt the same way. That's the best time to sort those things out as opposed to a couple years down the road after marriage. We were always on the same page, on that subject anyway......grin.
Our son was the first born, we lost our second child and our daughter came along 6 years later, all planned, as much as one can plan for such events.
I feel spoiled somewhat for having children in the first place. That I have a son and daughter, blessed. Funny how sometimes I don't feel deserving. Don't know from where that comes, but perhaps because I know other really wonderful couples that are without children who would make great parents but cannot for various reasons.
Unplanned children among married couples are no less a blessing, but if planned, I would have to assume the road might be a bit smoother. Our careers, hobbies and lifestyle's are necessarily changed to one degree or another when we have children, so it would seem advantageous to plan and prepare for such an occasion.
Growing old without children or grandchildren would be quite difficult even though many have and many will. I feel for those that cannot realize their dreams as we have.
Creating another human being with the person you love is pretty awesome if you think about it.......................
Last edited by magnumb; 03/15/08.
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Married in 1972 and the first was born in 1989. We wanted to be well settled and not struggling when our first came into the world. In that 17 year interim we could spontaneously drop things at a moments notice and head off for an evening, weekend, or week. Our son will be out the door shortly and I will retire in about another year. Then I'm planning on about another 30+ years of spontaneous living again. Well planned, and I'd do it the same in a rerun.
1Minute
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Planned: Graduate College; Get Married; Get Job; Get House; Get Pregnant; Decide to have another--Oops, already here; Begin to talk about another--Oops Buy a bigger house in the country, make wife REALLY happy--SURPRISE SURPRISE . . . .:Grin: Here they are at christmas with the Gingerbread train they all made. ![[Linked Image]](http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj222/bmt4tax/010.jpg) Snow day . . . ![[Linked Image]](http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj222/bmt4tax/056.jpg) ![[Linked Image]](http://i273.photobucket.com/albums/jj222/bmt4tax/084.jpg) BMT
Last edited by BMT; 03/15/08.
"The Church can and should help modern society by tirelessly insisting that the work of women in the home be recognized and respected by all in its irreplaceable value." Apostolic Exhortation On The Family, Pope John Paul II
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Do you ever get tired of just watching them?
I didn't think so!
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." TJ
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing". EB
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When we married we planned to travel as much as possible,then start a family after five years.Pretty much did that,my daughter was born after almost seven years,pregnancy started very quickly after we made the decision to start.
Planned for a second in about three years,changed plans slightly when I changed careers.Our son was born 5 1/2 years later,again pregnancy pretty quick after we got serious.
Everything went amazingly well until just short of 30 years when my wife suddenly decided to end it.Unfortunately,when things didn't go quite the way she wanted,as quickly as she wanted,she got pretty nasty for a couple of years.Just before everything became final she decided to change her mind again.Unfortunately things had been said and done that weren't going to go away for me.Thirteen years later,neither of us has remarried.By all accounts she's not happy.I'm actually pretty well satisfied with my life.
My kids are great.My daughter and her husband are planning a family now,my son just got engaged.
I wouldn't trade my children for any other two people in the world.Same for both their significant others.Grandchildren can only be icing on the cake.
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HG, My daughter was born after several years of trying. We had almost given up when my wife decided to give a chiropractor a try. He claimed that she had only one ovary functioning. He said it was because of a pinched nerve and after a few adjustments she was back on track with both ovaries functioning, pregnant within two months. I now have two grandchildren that are here because my wife got her back cracked!
Hunting the "Roar",
Mark Luce
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Our two kids were planned, and I have to say that both times, she conceived immediately after we started trying for a pregnancy. Unfortunately, sandwiched in between our two wonderful gifts from God was a miscarriage, which was very hard on my lovely wife. That was well over 10 years ago, and to this day she is very sullen when the day comes around that the miscarriage occurred on. A guy I used to work with made the ill fated decision that he and his wife would have kids until he got a son.........six daughters later he has a starting lineup for a girl's basketball team with one left on the bench......
molɔ̀ːn labé skýla
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I pondered on whether to respond to a positive spin put on "kids having kids" post. My girlfriend and I planed it for a long time before my boy was conceived. Heck, we had the name picked out for him since we were 13. It must be a location or time thing! Where and when I grew up, NOBODY was pondering or planning having kids at 13...NO-FRIGGIN-BODY! IF it happened, and of course it did, it was considered a complete MF SCREW UP! But, recalling my mindset at age 13-18, please explain to me how you'd plan for this? Was your thought process "I know adults do this, so if I do it, that makes me all grown up!" Or was it "All my friends, who are in trouble and/or poor, and unable to support children financially, physically, and emotionally are doing this, so WTH, I'm going to too, even though I see the burden and hardship it brings on them." PLEASE ENIGHTEN ME!" It's kind of funny how she tried to play a joke on me with her pregnancy. Really? She was telling me she was still getting her period when in fact she really wasn't and wanted to surprise me on my birthday and tell me she really was pregnant. Only problem was that she was showing big time and even her friends told me she was pregnant. I still acted surprised though. ROFLMAO that you think this is funny! Damn the differences in time and place! My boy was born over a month premature and didn't have his lungs developed yet and had to stay on the respirator thing for a long time. happen to anybody, but more often happens when "kids have kids", and should be a clue. I don't think I ever cried and prayed so hard in my life during that time. It's so hard to believe how a helpless little life like that who can't even breath on its own yet turned into such an energetic toddler in such a short time. At least you didn't run away, and that's admirable. So many your age do, most likely after reality hits them in the face after all the "planning" goes in the dumper! Best thing to ever have happened to my life. Anyone who thinks having kids at a young age is a dumb thing to do, seriously need a reality check. My boy completely changed my life around and all for the better I might add. NO! Having kids at your age IS a dumb thing to do, and there's no getting around that in this day and age. The point of children is not to say "they have changed my life" as they ALWAYS will. The point is, can the child say at some time in the future "My parents are the best thing that ever happened to me".
War Damn Eagle!
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Kids are the greatest gift from God.
We tried to plan, but some things just happen.
Somehow or another we must have done Ok, cause they are soon to be 20 and just turned 18. Of course at that age they don't have as much time for the old man as they use to. But I'm hoping soon they will slow down a bit and be able to visit the old coot alittle more frequently.
Last edited by tp4whlr; 03/15/08.
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BTW,
My answer to the original question. Planned! Down to, coming off the pill (her not me), taking certain prenatal vitamins for a period of time, marking down on the calendar her cycle for a few months, and finally, me coming home after 3 days of policing during a snow storm...which wasn't planned but, by God, turned out to be "the right time". However, we were in our brand new house, both had decent jobs with insurance and benefits, and it was the right time.
War Damn Eagle!
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I've never seen how old you are or if you've posted it, but if you're after advice, I'd say have them now. We waited and planned and then tried-nothing. This was when we were in our mid-thirties. Then a couple of years later with no warning Boom! My wife was pregnant. I figured I had been around so many chemicals in my life that I was sterile, but nope we had a beautiful baby girl. Same thing five years later. We wanted another kid but had been so absorbed in the first that there we were, me already in my mid-forties, that we had just about written it off. We hadn't been trying, but we never used, what shall I say? "Unnatural" for lack of a better term, birth control all those years. So our son was born then. We have both agreed if we had it to do over again we'd just get married right out of high school instead of waiting 'til after college AND Grad School, and have 'em right away. They are a blessing and we wouldn't change things now but if we had it to do over again we'd do it differently.
My advice would be to just make sure you are insured so that if catastrophe strikes you will be covered. If you are actively trying to conceive, a pregnancy rider makes a lot of sense. Otherwise, most hospitals and clinics will let you make payments.
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Planned, well, as much as you can do I guess.
I felt fairly strongly that I didn't want birthdays during hunting season. Check.
We both felt strongly that we needed to be "set" enough for one of us to stay home at least until they were in school all day. Check.
Twins... oops!
Risking having twins again... Nope!
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Well, the 23 yr old was planned (first wife), the 13 yr old was a surprise, as well as the 3 yr old both from the 2nd wife.
I guess every ten years, I get lucky! LOL.
Makes for interesting dinner conversation, the 23yr old likes to talk about Hooters, the 13yr old talks about Animal Planet tv, and the 3yr old talks about Barney.
AND, I have had 3 decades of diapers, and the associated accoutrements.
My wife says I have to be extra nice to the youngest as he will most likey be the one to pick my retirement home.
Love em dearly though.
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Have two. Both planned. If more had "happened" unplanned, they would have been equally as welcome.
Expat
"There are no dangerous weapons. There are only dangerous men." - Robert Heinlein
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PLANNED!!!! My family is the most important thing in the world. My kids always come first..but I like to work and I am fortunate enough to earn a goodliving doing what I love. So we planned everything out....how long I would stay home from work..what shift I would work, ect. It worked well fo rus becaiuse I was able to work evening or night shift and Keith was hime at night with the kids. We rarely needed daycare. It ewas a priority for us that WE raise our children, not a day care. It was really hard for a few years, but we made it work. We planned when I would go back to college and finish my education as well as schools, ect.
I have friends who throw caution to the wind and just work it all out as it happens. They have happy, healthy, well adjusted children. I think it all just depends on the personality of the parent as to what works best/.
"Courage is Fear holding on a minute longer."
-Gen. Patton
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