Home Forums Hunting & Shooting Hunter's Campfire The Great Texas Coon War!

As most know Texas is suffering the greatest one year drought since 1917 so those that keep records say. We may be about to surpass that year too.

Since all green stuff is burned up and most all natural water is gone wildlife is suffering.

In this case coons. There are a lot of coons since fur prices went to hell years ago. I mean a loooootttt of coons.

I done been invaded. Those sob were tearing down my bird feeders and turning over my bird waterers. Climbing a slick conduit pipe to tear down my humming bird feeders.

Had to put bungee cords on my dogfood can and trash bin. The sumbitches are all over the place and to add insult to injury they crap on my front porch.

I have steel traps but there are too many grandkids running the place to put them out and I don't want to have to reset them every night before I go to bed. Besides that my old dog like his old man has to get up in the middle of the night to go pee. Don't want him running into a steel trap and he is scared of coons (worthless sob).

So last week I sprang for three Havahart traps. Those things work or I got dumb coons one or the other. Since the coons have already eat fifty pounds of sunflower seed I just baited the traps with more seed.

This morning numbers 6 & 7 of the ring tailed horde are unhappy inhabitants of my jail houses. I am going to haul them off in a minute.

I was talking to a friend at church sunday telling him about my coon catching and some sweet little old blue-hair asked what I was doing with them. I told her I was letting them join the air force. Went right over her head. She is an animal lover.

The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.

Just wanted to let the fire know that from this front the WAR is on.

We have met the enemy and he is a coon.

Signed
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone.

God bless you. Believe me, you have just won the first skirmish.

Wouldn't that probably be cannabalism?

The bastids get educated FAST.......

I have faced hard times, but ain't never thought about eating coon. How long you gotta parboil them little devils?

Too bad they are skinny. BBQ'd coon is right tasty. You ought to raise some corn for 'em.

I will follow you to hell and back General...

Well, go about 5 miles south of El Paso, and turn back, then....

I too, have won a couple of skirmishes in the "coon wars" this summer. Keep up the good fight General.

Well, ya could make hats outa them skins. Start or revive a new fad. I can see all them NFL players getting off the bus wearing coon skin hats along with their wolf hide coats.

Yeah! Same thing here. Coons abound! Hogs coming back in to the yard as well! Caught one of the little masked bastids pulling one of wifey's bird feeders up in the pecan tree!!!!!

K

Good luck.

I may be the only one in the world that didn't know this,
but: once you catch them little boogers in the live trap,
they will reach through the wire and tear up EVERYTHING
they can reach

We had one raiding the dog food, so set trap and next morn
had a half grown coon and 50 lbs of triple 13 mostly in
with him. Full bag sitting next to the trap, joker shredded
the plastic bag and made helluva mess...

Too bad the hides are worthless this time of year. I hate to waste 'em but if you haul 'em off it just makes it somebody else's problem. If you haul 'em to the far side of the nearest water they may not come back. This drought is really getting old now.

Florida is a helluva trip from his place, and I don't think they need any more 'coons, either.

There is a place back east on Pennsylvania Av that might have a shortage. Lots of water, too.

Why do you think I put the light & laser on my single shot .22WMR! I just feed em lead till they are full.

LMFAO!

Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Deep Northeast Texas


General Cornpone,

This dispatch is to advise you that the war has spread. Infiltrators relentlessly probing defenses. Birdseed gone. Deer corn decimated.

Enemy collaborator living across the road. Embedded source informs us that the collaborator continues to provide comfort and support for the enemy by providing food every night "because they are cute".

Havahart traps deployed, enemy disregarding current attractants, must resupply marshmallow stores.

Sniping plans formulated, must finalize sniper's hide construction before deployment.

Sincerely,

Maj. M.F. Malfunction

My dad has capitulated. His only remaining defense is to grow more watermelons than they can eat.