I read a post some time ago by MD that said "your experience goes all the way from A to B, plus you are a nitwit" That one still cracks me up!
"Camping places fix themselves in your mind as if you had spent long periods of your life in them. You will remember a curve of your wagon track in the grass of the plain like the features of a friend." Isak Dinesen
CAUTION, RACIAL DISCRIMINATION , and COMEDY included
Member, Clan of the Border Rats -- “Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.”- Mark Twain
You're so blind you could have eyes on your azz and still not see schit. (to be used when someone is having a poor day at the range.)
You're so stupid you gave your brother a blow job to help his unemployment. (to be used after a negligent discharge)
Did your mom have any kids that lived? How tall are you? I didn't know they stacked schit that high! The best part of you ran down the crack of your mom's azz and wound up as a brown stain on the mattress! (These were eventually made famous by R. Lee Ermy in Full Metal Jacket.)
I dub thee Sir Gaylord of Pickle Park.
Mostly though, my favorite:
"You're an idiot." Short, straight, and to the point, even an idiot can understand it.
Mr. Stephen A. Camp had a bunch of them. I wish I could remember them all!
Quit giving in inch by inch then looking back to lament the mile behind ya and wonder how to preserve those few feet left in front of ya. They'll never stop until they're stopped. That's a fact.
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If it runs we got guns 
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