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My brother told me after he got married, that he figured there are two reasons to get married, love or money....he keeps telling me to go for the money!

laugh


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Originally Posted by Itasca
Weddings (whats fair)


"Fair" has nothing to do with it. Contributing to a wedding is a gift to your son or daughter. Giving a gift should bring as much pleasure to the giver as the recipient, so stay within what makes you happy. The parents of the bride-to-be and what they do are a non-factor.


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For one thing, the "wedding industry" is a huge ripoff.


Ding! Ding! Ding!

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Traditions vary, I'm from Pioneer stock and we have our own tradition... you can marry in the family church, on the property, in a favorite outdoor setting, even the JP. Then the reception is at one of the main Haciendas with family supplied eats, drinks and entertainment. Been that way long before I was born.

Now when my daughter married, the in-laws from Chicago/Puerto Rico demanded their tradition... Big Catholic wedding, the Marriott ball room for 150 of their relatives, caterers, limousines... blah/blah...

Of course our tradition was dismissed as barbaric...

They got their tradition and payed for it themselves... if they are going to ramrod the wedding like no one else matters they can shell out the dough. Mostly my SIL payed for it. Our main issue was the reception accomodations, as we are setup for hundreds of people at a family venue.

I gave my daughter some cash, bought a Side by side refrigerator and washer/dryer for their new house.

The appliances are going strong after 8 years and both of them wish they had the 15,000 back they spent for one day... the other parents spent 20,000 on their daughters wedding and rubbed it in my face... until she divorced the idiot 8 months later and we now all laugh about the situations... They've since started coming to all our family get togethers and comment on how great the food and relaxing the socializing is.

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A little off topic, but maybe helpful: I spent a lot of time doing wedding photos in my earlier years. I saw too many families up tight and snappish about carrying off the perfect social event. The day is about celebrating an important life event and enjoying time with family and friends. Anything that gets in the way of celebrating and enjoying is counterproductive.


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Originally Posted by sactoller
My brother told me after he got married, that he figured there are two reasons to get married, love or money....he keeps telling me to go for the money!

laugh


He is wrong.


We can keep Larry Root and all his idiotic blabber and user names on here, but we can't get Ralph back..... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over....
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Originally Posted by denton
A little off topic, but maybe helpful: I spent a lot of time doing wedding photos in my earlier years. I saw too many families up tight and snappish about carrying off the perfect social event. The day is about celebrating an important life event and enjoying time with family and friends. Anything that gets in the way of celebrating and enjoying is counterproductive.


We mostly figured it was about the lifelong bond the 2 of us joined in that day, and even though we had some family and friends to celebrate, it was about us, and nothing else. Of course the 4 gun blackpowder salute made us grin.


We can keep Larry Root and all his idiotic blabber and user names on here, but we can't get Ralph back..... Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over....
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Bingo. If you want to offer them something tell em' you will give it to them after the honeymoon and walk away from the whole thing. Last I knew if you wanted to get married you could seal the deal for the price of a few steak dinners....

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Originally Posted by heavywalker
I paid for my own wedding so I would say that any amount of money that you or the brides parents kick in would, and should, be a blessing. Pay what you can afford and if they don't like it, they can scale back the wedding.


Well said; neither of our parents were able to help and we wanted no debt so we eloped. Ain't no thang.

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My wife and I paid for everything ourselves, and did it under $5,000. We were engaged for about a year, and all along the way, people offered to help. Brother-in-law owned a restaurant and gave us beer for the reception. Uncle had a ice cream parlor and got us soft drinks. Grandmother wanted to do flowers, so we just let her roll with it. Wife's aunt wanted to do hair and made the gals a breakfast. Her dress was off the clearance rack for $100 and she had modifications/alterations done and it was beautiful. We put up a monster tent on their farm for the reception. So on and so on...In about a year all the pieces fell into place. People would offer to do something, and we'd just let them. It made for a great day....

I've been to weddings where most of the guests were from Daddy's office and Mommy's sewing circle and they flat out sucked. The B&G were nothing but stressed the entire time like it was a [bleep] presidential gala. "oh we have to go shake hands with this person...blah, blah"

My feeling is that if you have to introduce your wife to a new face on your wedding day, they prolly shouldn't have been on the guest list to begin with..




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Originally Posted by saddlesore
Originally Posted by Itasca
Thanks all for the replys. They make my decision a bit easier.

Part of the problem is, our son owes me over 15k. Any suggestions?


Tell him that $15K is his wedding present and payment for the wedding also.If he is in debt $15 ,he sure does not need a big bash for a wedding.


Saddlesore nailed it.

L.W.


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Originally Posted by Itasca
Our son is getting married this fall. I know about a fall wedding, busy hunting at that time (LOL).

Any way I paid the vast majority of the wedding when our daughter got married 10 years ago. It turns out that our son's bride parents will only chip in a small amount. I feel the burden is put on me. My wife & son are keeping silent on the issue.
Any thoughts??



My wife and I paid for the wedding. So far we have never asked her parents or mine for any money. I much prefer it this way.


"Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much" Teddy Roosevelt
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It turns out that our son's bride parents will only chip in a small amount.
Tell 'em they're having a small wedding, then.

I'm paying for my daughter's right now. Gotta go change for it now. I sure wouldn't step in for my son's, unless I wanted to, and I can't see that happening anytime soon.


We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?

Immersing oneself in progressive lieberalism is no different than bathing in the sewage of Hell.
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Thanks all for the opinions. I'll let you know how things turn out.

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One of the funniest toasts I ever heard was a guy that said "and above all, I hope that all your kids are born naked"

maybe I was drunk....

good luck!

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When my BIL got married, they were struggling to finance the thing. He'd asked several of us close relatives to be groomsmen but he was having a real hard time figuring out how to afford the tuxes. I told him to go with the black suits that we all had and put the money to a better use. It didn't take him long to agree.


“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.”
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Originally Posted by 16bore
One of the funniest toasts I ever heard was a guy that said "and above all, I hope that all your kids are born naked"

Woulda made for an interesting evening if it was from the step-father of the bride.


We may know the time Ben Carson lied, but does anyone know the time Hillary Clinton told the truth?

Immersing oneself in progressive lieberalism is no different than bathing in the sewage of Hell.
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Originally Posted by rost495
Originally Posted by sactoller
My brother told me after he got married, that he figured there are two reasons to get married, love or money....he keeps telling me to go for the money!

laugh


He is wrong.


well getting married for sex is like buying a jumbo jet for the free peanuts


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Originally Posted by Itasca
Our son is getting married this fall. I know about a fall wedding, busy hunting at that time (LOL).


I had a relative get married on the first day of archery season once! eek

And he's a hunter!! shocked

Funny what the bride can talk guys in to...

As for me; my wife & I paid for it. That way, we got to make the rules. wink

Very small (10 people), outdoors, beside Oak Creek in Sedona.

As others have said, weddings are just very expensive parties for your friends and a whole bunch of other people that you barely know.

We put the money in to building a new house, and taking a 10 year (rather than 30 year) mortgage to pay it off. Money MUCH wiser spent than a big elaborate wedding.

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Originally Posted by heavywalker
I paid for my own wedding so I would say that any amount of money that you or the brides parents kick in would, and should, be a blessing. Pay what you can afford and if they don't like it, they can scale back the wedding.


This is how we handled it as well.


Camp is where you make it.
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