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I know, what happens in hunting camp stays in hunting camp, but... in the spirit of "it's been a long damn week and we could use some humor," anyone care to share any of their favorite humorous quotes from our ink-stained brethren?

In the self-deprecating category, I'll start:

At the last SHOT show, I was chatting with Ron Spomer and informed him that I was greatly offended.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I've been on several hunts lately where fellow writers kept telling me I look like you," I said.

Without missing a beat, he replied, "I think they're trying to insult both of us."





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make it a hole to remember.
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"It's not premarital sex if you don't plan on marrying them"

That one was courtesy of an Alaskan writer/guide that I will not mention.


"Dear Lord, save me from Your followers"
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Hard to argue with that logic...


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"Bird hunting without a dog is like having sex without a woman."



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Originally Posted by Steelhead
"It's not premarital sex if you don't plan on marrying them"

That one was courtesy of an Alaskan writer/guide that I will not mention.



Thanks



Phil Shoemaker
Alaska Master Guide,
Alaska Hunter Ed Instructor
FAA Master pilot
www.grizzlyskinsofalaska.com

Anyone who claims the 30-06 is not effective has either not used one, or else is unwittingly commenting on their marksmanship.
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You actually put on the 'Fire many years ago and just as I was going to comment you deleted it. I never forgot it though, I laughed my ass off.


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It was one of those comments I am afraid my kids like to quote.
That, as well as my admonishment that if you are looking for sympathy you can always find it in the dictionary between sh-t and syphylis


Phil Shoemaker
Alaska Master Guide,
Alaska Hunter Ed Instructor
FAA Master pilot
www.grizzlyskinsofalaska.com

Anyone who claims the 30-06 is not effective has either not used one, or else is unwittingly commenting on their marksmanship.
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Mike,

One of my favorites came from Jason Lucas, the fishing columnist for SPORTS AFIELD for 24 years after WWII. Back then some tourism departments in were trying to improve the image of northern pike, because they wanted to attract more anglers, so started calling the fish "the great northern pike."

In a column on pike fishing, Lucas commented: "The Great Northern is a railroad, not a fish."


“Montana seems to me to be what a small boy would think Texas is like from hearing Texans.”
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"If you shoot someone with a 25 acp, and he finds out about it, he is going to be upset with you"

Think it was Cooper, but I'm not sure.


If you love someone set them free
If they come back no one else liked them
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I recall a Capstick line relating to shooting a Cape Buffalo and after the shot, he decided to "pop over and discuss the matter further".


When truth is ignored, it does not change an untruth from remaining a lie.
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One from a McManus Answer Man story:

You don't get down from a log, you get down from a goose.

Dale



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My favorite at Jack O'Connor.

"That stock is so ugly it would abort a lady crocodile." I use it frequently to describe a .270 I own with a would be Weatherby style stock.
Paul B.


Our forefathers did not politely protest the British.They did not vote them out of office, nor did they impeach the king,march on the capitol or ask permission for their rights. ----------------They just shot them.
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I like to do all of my hunting before I shoot. - Elmer Keith


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My favorite that makes me laugh every time I put a live round into my 300 WSM comes from Mule Deer from an article I don't remember the title of. It talks of his friend, Dick Fickle, who was pining for a first look at the new cartridge.

Seems Dick Fickle showed up on John's door step inquiring of it. "When I handed it to him, he had to lean against a wall."

I can just picture that scenario.laugh

Last edited by Reloder28; 04/11/15.

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I believe it was Col. Chas. Askins on shooting an over/under vs. a Side by Side..

" If God had intended you to shoot one of those ( O/U) He would have stacked your eyes that way..."


"...the left considers you vermin, and they'll kill you given the chance..." Bristoe
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Capstick,describing a Cape Buffalo,who,

"looks at you like you owe him money"


**********************
[the member formerly known as fluffy}
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"Robert Ruark said of the African Buffalo: “He looked at me as
though I owed him money. I never saw such malevolence in
the eyes of any animal or human being before or since. So I
shot him.”


Ben

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fluffy,

Mudhen is correct: The money-owing line is by Ruark, not Capstick--but just about everything written about Cape buffalo since has quoted or stolen the line, to the point where it almost HAS to be used, even though it's become something of a cliche.

It's something like writing about the 7x57 without mentioning Bell and his elephants: If you don't, some reader will feel compelled to "correct" your apparent ignorance, so it has to be thrown in there.


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Kudos on that correction. I give Ruark lots of credit for lots of things. Capstick.....not so much......



Though he could spin a yarn......


"...the left considers you vermin, and they'll kill you given the chance..." Bristoe
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Originally Posted by PJGunner
My favorite at Jack O'Connor.

"That stock is so ugly it would abort a lady crocodile." I use it frequently to describe a .270 I own with a would be Weatherby style stock.
Paul B.


I like that. Reminds me of one from an elder member of the fraternity, who shall remain nameless:

"That rifle looks like it was put together by a pimp."


If you're fixin' to put a hole in something,
make it a hole to remember.
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