Am I the only one who lets out a big "Ahhhhhh" when I jump out of the shower and slap a big handful of that chit on my red monkey ass? I mean I'm walking around on cloud nine for the rest of the evening.

There are others out there! Its good stuff!

Try you some Anti Monkey Butt powder!
Nephews got me some for A gift from the local Ace Hardware...

Used to get swamp ass when I was roofing every day.

Gold bond was mandatory.

Yep. Keep a big bottle of it handy and a small bottle in my travel kit.

Nope but I will for sure. There's an Ace just down the road.

The older I get the longer my balls get so I'm open to anything.

It’ll give your ballsack the chills. 😂😬

I used to use gold bond, now I use Anti Monkey Butt powder. Your bag will thank you !

What does this powder do, exactly? Seems like it would just clump up into a nasty mess if you sweat.

Best stuff and longest lasting I ever found for moisture/sweat related gaulding and chaffing skin irritations is A&D ointment. We first used it our our kids back when they were still in diapers. One summer years later I was suffering from the above and thought what the heck, might as well give it a try. Have always kept some on hand since.

https://www.amazon.com/usa-iiu-tm152-Ointment-4-Ounce-Pack/dp/B004NYMQ88

Stops the irritation and chafing of yer ass.

So you rub A&D in your crack before strenuous labor?

That was the best part, pull them undies down and dump a 1/2 pound in grundle sling and pull em back up. Proud to be an American, ready for the day.

It would get all in them ruffles tater chip cooling fins of my ballsack, and keep me from gettin a galded bag

Gold Bond? Anti Monkey Butt?

You guys are soft! I use fresh chainsaw chips, and line my undies with 200 grit! 🤪

If you are past the point of powders helping....


Boudreaux’s Butt Paste. red extra strength tube.

It’ll work.

You are welcome.

I'm still trying to remember not to keep the preparation H and toothpaste tubes close together.

Scootin around black felt paper, laying shingles, leaving a dusty path of gold bond

Will that stuff keep scope mounts tight too?

I could not imagine packing my crack with A + D ointment, smelling like a diaper rash patient. Yuck, feeling like you got mud butt.

Seems like a lot of people have ass problems on this site. Coincidence or causal?

Roofing is the worst. I just helped a buddy put tin on his shop and my ass felt like Cass Sunstein's after a night at the Metropolitan.

Dollar General or Family Dollar.

Way way way way cheaper.

Gold Bond is only a name.

Lol

Pimple poppin party after the tall boys cool ya down

😃

I doubt it, prolly loosen them the up

Though it does reduce friction on those days you feel like your tender bits are throwing sparks.....

For girl scout cookies, yes

For red ass, no

Dude I worked with kept a big tub of cornstarch in the bathroom at the fab shop during the hot months for dusting his balls. One day a wet behind the ears kid asked what he meant by going to dust his balls. He explained that the cornstarch keeps the boys from chafing and the kid said he’d have to try that. I piped up and said yeah you just pop the cap off and dip yer old sweaty balls down in there and you be good to go. He got the strangest look on his face as he was processing that tidbit.

I never go fish the sand on the island without a big bottle of powder.

Real men use Dr. Scholls foot powder same stuff but a little more horsepower. Dust up the boys in that schit and nothing will grow on em..

I call BS.

I even cut the cheap crap with corn starch. Some of that stuff gets a might touchy on tender parts.

Saw some Extra Strength Gold Bond, something like 5 or 6 times the menthol in the stuff.

Fuggin balls freeze right off with that stuff I bet. Be like substitution of Vicks for the Vaseline................likely a fella would never do THAT again.

Them fellas down south are wondering

"Does it keep chiggers away too?"

I don't have a lot of experience with those vile little bastards but enough to know their vile little bastards. I remember them chewing the schit out of my ankles and legs at night in Costa Rica but don't remember them gnawing on my balls so it could well be.

Actually point of order, I don't remember much about Costa Rica at all. That was back in my hard drinkin days

A big + 1 on NOT putting Gold Bond Medicated on your ballsack,i was dancing an Irish jig .i had to run over to the torch cart, and blast O 2
Down my Carharts.everyone was looking at me like i d lost my mind.

This!

For the love of God! Don't you people shower?

You better watch that fancy feminine powder, you’ll be callin that pootie-pooh litigation attorney

Don't know what kind of work you've done in your lifetime, or where, or in what kind of clothes necessary for the type of work,


but sometimes the shower was worn off by 1000 hours.

And there wasn't another one coming for another 6-8 hours at least.

That's from the talcum powder dude.

Cornstarch be like All Natural an scheidt.

Use it for long days in the saddle on my motorcycle. Good stuff.

A&D isn't like that at all. It dries almost immediately leaving a protective non gooey coating against moisture and heals already chaffed and gaulded areas practically overnight. Wash affected area with a disinfectant soap and warm/hot water, dry off good, apply a thin coat of A&D.

Works better and quicker for me than Gold Bond, corn starch, or anything else I ever tried.



As always, though, YMMV ...

Corn starch is food for yeast. Talcum powder is a mineral (talc). The cancer was from some stuff which was in the talc they were using.

It will cure a bad case of the swamp azz...

Swore off tighty-whiteys decades ago. Duluth Trading Post Armachillos boxers for the win. Seriously. No more need for powders of any sort.

Remember 'Charlie" from Two And A Half Men? He's in the examination room, He looks down at his Nads. He looks up at the Doctor and says " Do these look infected?"

Just revive the monkey butt thread and initiate the newer guys properly. I nearly passed out laughing at all the true stuff in that thread

No way i forking out $25 for a pair of drawers.

I hate paying $15 for 4 pair at the Walmart’s for FTL.

Gives you a rush.

Like “fug yeah, i can take on the world.”

Something out of a Jean Claude Van Dam kickboxer fightin movie.


Snorting high proof hand sanitizer works too....

That's what the Ignore button is for.


Thanks for the straight line.

Chiggers?

Knock on wood,, they don’t bother me much.

Guess they like girly men. Not warriors.

But 90% alcohol will take care of them.

Don’t be stingy with it.

Can't call them chiggers anymore.

It's not PC now.

If you guys would quit wearing panties you wouldn't have rash/monkey butt/swamp ass/chaffing etc etc, commando with straight denim, breathes, cools when working and lets your junk breathe.........................panties are for women.

Chigroes? Chiggy Americans?

Last time I grabbed a package off the shelf to renew the supply in the drawers drawer, I was stunned when I got to the checkstand. Lady scanned it, up popped $40 on the screen for a 5 pack of Hanes boxer briefs...............no friggen way am I paying $8 a pair for undies. And that was a bag with a free pair in it, usually a 4 pack.

I was happy when I got home and found about 7 new pairs in a bag I bought a few years back, held in reserve.

Maybe those'll last until I'm so old I won't even remember if I'm wearing pants when I walk around the old folks' home?

Have you tried Goodwill?

Life saver when you work......

Kerosene might work too?

Goodwill for underwear must be a TN thing?

It's a no go around here.

They make it in a spray, works well. Now if you are a little bit chaffed and you hit it with the spray. It will light you up!

Ebay?

Maybe that new online place.............[bleep]...................the artsy craftsy online store? (WTF?? E t s y is bleeped?? is that a code word for something bad??)

Might be able to find me some nice knitted or crocheted ones.........maybe even in that fancy merino wool stuff. NO polyester yarn goods for me, makes me sweat really bad, even in a shirt. Can't imagine that stuff near my nutsack. Be drippin' I tell tell you, need to stop and empty out my sandals every 15 minutes.

Heck yeah. It’ll work.

Slum just turns the skid marks out....


Haha.

Here’s ol Uncle Julius’ suits, pants, shirts.

Oh yeah. His drawers too.

Can i get a receipt for my taxes?

I stopped wearing ‘drarrs’ after I quit roofing.

Been commando for 10+ years.

Had to do a CT scan couple weeks ago, I forgot about having to take my pants off. They gave me a sheet, I made a toga.

country folks can survive

Gross

Constantly having to make sure one of the baby birds isn’t showing, peekin outta my short pants.

😂

Ostrich baby birds?

They were trusting you a lot if they gave you a white sheet....

Sha’quanda’lisa from housekeeping don’t like chit stains on the white sheets.

You want a rush?

Try the Gold Bond foot powder in the blue can. Dump a 1/4 cup of that schitt down the front of your briefs.

Can’t saw I’ve ever used it.

did that once in iraq...... still remember that mistake today. makes me cringe a little.

Mixed, straight, or with ice?

Last year I found some Monkey Butt powder so I got three of them. I gave two to two friends for Christmas and kept one for myself.

Gold Bond on your junk is nothing compared to a mixture of ink, (from an auto leveler on a printing press) Fast Orange hand cleaner and Methyl Ethyl Ketone, (we used that nasty stuff to cut/clean ink and gear lube). I got splattered good with ink one day from about my waist to my head and was trying to clean it off. It wasn't going so well, so I decided to hit the shower with the Fast Orange and MEK in hand. When that chemical cocktail was rinsed down my body in the shower, my chit felt like it was lit on fire.

Some of the most intense pain I had ever experienced.

This stuff is the best thing I've ever used for chaffing.

Bet you never try THAT again!

Straight. No chaser.

I don’t see what the fuss is all about. Splash on few braces of witch hazel and it will keep you good.

Witch hazel...

Is that on the DG shelf by the soul glo and Shea butter?


Axing for a friend...

Alright guys that haven't read one of the finest pieces of literature ever to grace the Campfire...I brought the baboon ass thread to the top!

In case it sinks into the pile.

https://www.24hourcampfire.com/ubbt...cs/2439970/1/a-delicate-topic-baboon-ass

As a fat bastard I wholeheartedly disagree my good sir. Underwear is for rank amateurs and those whom require training wheels. Ohio July humidity with jeans on is crotch pot cooking level of discomfort I choose not to recall. Anything that helps in this issue, be it powder, grease, or tequila is a welcome addition.

I am speaking more to a Cornule ridge and general sack chaffing more than full fledged "monkney butt" or "swamp ass factor", even though one will easily lead to the other.