Right now I'm just beside myself with rage over how my Dad's end is happening.
Doctors yesterday told me and my cousin (executor and POA) that Dad's 85 year old fighter pilot's lungs were too compromised for him ever to get off institutional high flow oxygen. So we both said, make him comfy.
I called to say goodbye, he was gasping and groaning, it was rotten.
So this morning, the hospital calls saying he's still gasping and groaning, but if we give him morphine his oxygen levels will go down. I say, he's a FENTANYL JUNKIE ALREADY, he's probably in full-blown WITHDRAWAL!
Oh, but we're not sure what he wants, they say.
THEN LET ME IN THERE, I WILL ASK HIM EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNOW AND HAVE TOLD YOU TWICE.
Oh, no, can't do that. Eff me, I'm already positive, asymptomatic for the last 11 days, WTH difference would it make either way? Give me a blue suit and a pair of gloves and I'll deal with it!
Oh no, can't do that.
So, I call my cousin to ask him to get out Dad's files and look for a directive. Thank God he found it, and Dad basically declared that when he's done, he's done except for comfort. Set them straight, finally.
Man, I still wish I could get in there, see if he's actually comfortable. Let the call come soon.
But the no visitor policy is facking insane. If Dad had known this was coming, he would have grabbed a 1911 the minute they told him he had COVID.
Damn Dave that's a ball of the pure [bleep] right there. Hope the old man is comfortable as possible
That is fuggin insane!
Im really sorry to hear what you're going through.
Maybe buy a set of scrubs at local medical supply store, wear a mask and just walk in to see him? I know sounds crazy.
Right now I'm just beside myself with rage over how my Dad's end is happening.
Doctors yesterday told me and my cousin (executor and POA) that Dad's 85 year old fighter pilot's lungs were too compromised for him ever to get off institutional high flow oxygen. So we both said, make him comfy.
I called to say goodbye, he was gasping and groaning, it was rotten.
So this morning, the hospital calls saying he's still gasping and groaning, but if we give him morphine his oxygen levels will go down. I say, he's a FENTANYL JUNKIE ALREADY, he's probably in full-blown WITHDRAWAL!
Oh, but we're not sure what he wants, they say.
THEN LET ME IN THERE, I WILL ASK HIM EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNOW AND HAVE TOLD YOU TWICE.
Oh, no, can't do that. Eff me, I'm already positive, asymptomatic for the last 11 days, WTH difference would it make either way? Give me a blue suit and a pair of gloves and I'll deal with it!
Oh no, can't do that.
So, I call my cousin to ask him to get out Dad's files and look for a directive. Thank God he found it, and Dad basically declared that when he's done, he's done except for comfort. Set them straight, finally.
Man, I still wish I could get in there, see if he's actually comfortable. Let the call come soon.
But the no visitor policy is facking insane. If Dad had known this was coming, he would have grabbed a 1911 the minute they told him he had COVID.
I agree the restrictions in hospitals especially for those that are at end of life is stupid as [bleep]. Prayers for all.
i've heard of a few of those 'doesn't end well' deals...sorry to hear it
Sorry you have to go through this
It is a nightmare Dave I can personally attest. I know EXACTLY what your going thru.
Myself and my brother made the call to take Dad off the vent three weeks after he first test positive.
We were able to be there with him when he crossed though as thats the only time the hospital allows family in.
He did well for a week and a half then just crashed and went on the vent. They tried everything, Remdesavir, Antigen blood, steroids, etc.
I forced my Mom and Dad to fill out detailed advanced directives in 2017 the first time Dad had to receive long term convalesce care. All of us siblings got a copy.
May the Holy Spirit hold and comfort and deliver him.
Prayers sent Dave, sorry to hear. My Dad passed from cancer in 2018 at home with us and we made him as comfortable as possible at 90 years old. Most of the older generation were hardier than we are.
Man, really tough to read these stories. You guys have been through too much.
None of this should've happened as it did, the evil that brought this all to pass is stunning.
Sorry to hear this news. Prayers on the way.
I’m so sorry for the way this is going.
Hope you can get your dad’s wishes followed!
I am sorry about the hurt, frustration and anguish you are experiencing - not at all the way it should be when you are trying to give the best farewell for a loved one. He, you and your family are in my prayers.
Stay strong during this difficult time.
Very sorry you, and your father, have to suffer at the hands of the bureaucracy. Do your best to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. Prayers with you.
Prayers sent.......... My dad used to say something about how he'd rather live a long life and have all his kids at his funeral versus having to attend the funeral of one of his own kids.
Sorry to hear this! Prayers.
Sorry to hear that, that has to be a tough situation.
That sucks man, prayers sent.
Sorry this is happening to your family. Prayers for your fathers comfort.
Actually, after I posted, the COVID desk called and they relented. I'm already positive, it's been 11 days since HE infected me, that was finally recognized as a low-risk matter.
It still sucked. The Covid rooms are jerry rigs, like being inside a jet engine with the blowers going. But Dad was reasonably aware and a lot less miserable. I briefed him on where he really was and his real situation, and he pondered then gargled out that was why he'd signed the directive in the first place. So then talked about the bad things we got away with together. I sat him up and we looked out the window talking about what good flying weather it is, how nice it will be at Arlington next spring, then basically just side by side until he said he wanted to go to sleep. Nurse and I tucked him in again, I went full military, requested permission to take my leave, permission granted, departed.
Hopefully his departure will be smooth and swift.
The inhumanity of many aspects of these policies is unbelievable.
So sorry to hear about this Dave you and your dad are in my prayers.
Actually, after I posted, the COVID desk called and they relented. I'm already positive, it's been 11 days since HE infected me, that was finally recognized as a low-risk matter.
It still sucked. The Covid rooms are jerry rigs, like being inside a jet engine with the blowers going. But Dad was reasonably aware and a lot less miserable. I briefed him on where he really was and his real situation, and he pondered then gargled out that was why he'd signed the directive in the first place. So then talked about the bad things we got away with together. I sat him up and we looked out the window talking about what good flying weather it is, how nice it will be at Arlington next spring, then basically just side by side until he said he wanted to go to sleep. Nurse and I tucked him in again, I went full military, requested permission to take my leave, permission granted, departed.
Hopefully his departure will be smooth and swift.
Your a good man Dave......Im glad the hospital relented and allowed you in to see him. Im sure it meant the world to him having his son with him in this time.
Dave so sorry for your situation. I feel your pain.nmy mom has dementia and in assisted living. I have on,y got to see her once since March 15 and that was mid august and she didn’t know who I was by then. Last weekend she fell broke her hip in three places had to go to hospital now in her second room there and confused but I can’t go in. Don’t know if it would do any good since she doesn’t know me. I’ve let my wife as she can still seem to calm her. Now she gets moved to rehab nursing with a 2 week isolation. This Covid is killing our elderly even if they don’t have it
Sure hate to hear this, Dave..
Thousands of people are not getting to be by their loved one's side when they need them most, and they are dying alone.
THAT NEEDS TO CHANGE!!
Medical Power of Attorney is more important now than ever. Make sure you have one. Make sure your loved ones have one.
Do what is the deal with his lungs? Fighter pilot lungs ??
Thanks for your service “Dad”
That's not right. Prayers sent.
Hope for the best for both you and your father. While I understand the need for hospitals to take precautions, I do not get the restrictions on keeping family members from being with a loved one, when that loved one is dying. I hope it does not happen to my family, but I have said if it did, there is no way come Hell or high water that they'd keep me out.
So sorry to hear this, but glad that you were able to spend some time with him.
Glad you got to spend some final lucid moments with your Dad. Try to find some peace.