Wife thinks doing a carb clean to get the snowblower working again makes me a magician.

Seriously, she should EXPECT me to fix stuff, not think it's impressive that the engine not running except on choke was something I could figure out and fix.

The friggen bar is set waaaaaay too low these days.

At least my son wanted to come out to the shop and "help" more than play video games.

in a country where 2/3's of the population cant find their ass with both hands,being competent makes you a rarity.

My wife is a wrecking ball. She could bend a battleship I swear to god. I've never seen a person so talented at breaking things. I say that line to her every time I fix something she's broken. She got me a sign for my shop this year for christmas that said "We Break it, Dad fixes it" haha.

I get that, but she's been stuck with me for over 20 years. I have a shop, 220 outlets everywhere, and stuff to plug into them. I fix stuff and make stuff all the time.

And she's still surprised and impressed.

I'm not complaining, but it's like being the Rodney Dangerfield of handy husbands.

It's probably all the stupid/dangerous [bleep] I used to do.

I think we're married to the same woman. I swear, over half of the stuff I have to fix is from what she has broken. She's beginning to learn my mantra of "Don't force it"

You must have used wd-40 because duct tape won’t help a carb.

Well, carb cleaner is in a spray can like WD40, so close enough for government work!

There were three evil sisters from that family..I got the other one. Mine has twisted off the door key to the travel trailer so many times, that I have filed a shear line on it so you can pluck out the stub easy. Two, count 'em, glass doors to the woodstove. Three, count 'em, tips to expensive deep sea poles. Pockmarks on almost every window of the shack from her weedeater and rocks. And modifications to her Hoover that would make an Abrams tank a much sturdier piece of hardware. But wait, I carry a beater milsurp 6.5 Mannlicher for a pickup gun, the Weaver (steel tube) 2.5x has a suspicious dent on the objective bell, it suspiciously matches the height of the door sill of said pickup. She knows "nothing of this whatsoever, so help me God." It is a full time job following her around with epoxy, solder, Lincoln welder, duct tape, baling wire and basic tool kit.

My wife leaves the vehicles and other powered equipment to me to fix. Usually she ignores the noises in her truck til I gotta use it, then I'm fixing it. Tractor or mini excavator and stuff like that she tells me right away.

In the house, if she knows or sees a problem she's off to the hardware store and she fixed it.

Even trade

Both of those attributes don't count for squat, compared to a large bankroll, ten or more figures.

Yeah, well I married the money, not my wife.



#keptman
#mommamakesthechedda

"If I had a dollar for every woman that didn't find me attractive, they'd find me attractive."

My wife has her own toolbox. I have a very handy guy on speed dial.


mike r

Good one!

I did a carb cleanse once.........

It weren’t pretty.

Wifey likes me cause I fix things, make her laugh, and take her dancing!

I’m lazy, but I’m actually pretty handy. I’ve done my best to keep this from my wife to avoid more projects. However, there’s been a few times since we started building our house where I’ve had to step in and “help” a subcontractor. She’s on to me know.

Apparently the bar is set too high in my house since my wife thinks I can fix anything. When our heat pump went out I told my wife that I don’t have experience working with 480V and I wasn’t interested in learning it. Fast forward a week and I had the unit apart and watched more YouTube videos than I would’ve in a lifetime. I replaced the part I suspected and another part just because I was in there. I flipped the breaker and lo and behold it worked like new.

After reading what I just wrote I realize that I’m the one that set the bar and she just trusts me.....I’m such a fool. 😁

It’s the easy but tedious, repetitive stuff that drives me nuts. I’d rather pay our children or one of their friends to do that stuff.

Oh, I know how to start my snowblower, you pull that handle on the stringy thing- really hard. .

Current crop of women have plenty of expectations.
Forget the fact that they hand out puzzie like campaign buttons and know fk-all about anything north of Facebook.

You 2 (two!) steppin SOB!!

Talking to my son, he's a kid that can fix things, and the girls think he walks on water because he can change an alternator. He's looking for the female equivalent, a girl that can cook from scratch....... I think he may have finally found one. It was a long search.

That show is the Best thing from Canada LOL

One of the most factual statements I’ve ever read.

I am fortunate in being so handsome that all of my other faults (there are many) are over-looked.

I got real lucky with my wife - yes, I still awe her with many things but she is really handy . She put all the tile in our bathrooms and all the hardwood floors throughout when we redid this old lake house we live in. She worked side by side on all the tear out, carting loads of crap to the bin to get rid of it. Not much she won't take on. Together we have redone 3 houses and built a million dollar business from a corn field, plus worked full time in our 25 years together besides raising 6 very successful kids. Now that we are retired, we are just finishing a complete gut job on a rental house our son bought. She has her own power miter and tile saw, plus shares my table saw and Spanker. Great gal.

My wife's a CPA and not very handy.

She didn't understand why I didn't want our son out in the shop when I made a form 1 silencer for his 22. I had her look up "metal lathe accidents" on YouTube.

Now she gets nervous when I do have him out in the shop with me.

My philosophy....
Even if I fugg it up it'll end up better than if I paid some supposed pro to do it.

Problem is, with my back and neck issues, I can't wrench or do stuff like I used to.
Kills me to pay somebody else.
Even when I can afford it.

Sometimes it's just easier to go to my reg job on a Sat and make the money to pay the guy doing the fixin on the same day.
Aint getting cold or wet.

Could do car stuff in the garage, if it wasn't full of women crap.

Shorty keeps asking why I drive an unlifted Jeep...........

Yep

Sadly a True Story ^^^

Only complaint with Cookie is she attempts to saw porcelain plates in half with the finest and sharpest of knives. Even cutting demonstrations where one only drags the tip across the surface does nothing to change her ways. She has tolerated my purchase of three $100+ Arkansas oil stones though.

I have no idea why, but with 70+ years behind me, I've never had need to rebuild a single carburetor.

My wife bought her own Suzuki DR650 a few months ago, purchased at quite a bit lower elevation town than our place, and when we got it home the jetting was off enough to make it not fun for her to ride, had a bad flat spot off idle, so I did my magic and rejetted it and now it runs perfect, impressed her immensely.

I've been married to my wife so long now I've learned how she says my name just before she is about to tell me something is broke (and I need to stop what I'm doing and fix it)

My wife is always amazed by me.

My darling wife is both more handsome, and hander than I am.

Do NOT voluntarily jump off that pedestal. Gently enjoy the perks. ;-{>8

Haha, what's a wife?

My wife thanks her lucky stars she found this handyman and uses that knowledge to her advantage.

All she has to do is threaten to hire another handyman to do something that I can redneck engineer myself.

dogcatcher,

You were gone for a while. Good to have you back buddy.

Work on most anything, finished our basement. But I don't mess with carpet, no profit margin in getting the tools to do it versus hiring it.

I've had success fixing gummed up fugged up carburetors and some failures. Either way my wife is prone to leave the house if I'm working on one cause the chances of profanity and tools flying is high

Thankfully, I've got a shop. With the shop radio on, nobody in the house is hearing any of the swearing.

I was watching some Yankee movie last month, the young gal was dating some guy and talking about marriage. The mom said to the dollie, "Well, is he handy? Can he change a light bulb?"

I built the custom log cabin that I live in, and, trust me, custom log work is three times harder than frame, and takes three times longer, and I did all the wiring myself.
Wiring a log cabin is a bitch and most licensed electricians won't touch it with a ten foot pole.

So, yes, I guess I am "handy."

I describe my lovely wife's mechanical abilities as being able to "cross thread a light bulb"

but I admit if it doesn't have a heart and lungs, I'm not real sure how a lot of stuff works...

Seriously, how much Windsor Canadian do you think the Red Green Show writers drank while coming up with stuff for the handyman segment of the show?!?!??

Ha. This site became unusable on my phone, so I just kind of lost interest. Then joined some Facebook groups and they're pretty active.

My wife likes me because every day after work I show her a good time...I stay on my side of the house and leave her alone.

You guys should really try life sans wife. I have a reloading bench in my living room and leave the toilet seats up.

No thank you, I actually like my wife.

Adblock plus browser on my phone got me back on the fire.

I'm not on Facebook though.

Mine came from a no fix family.
Dad a chef and grandpa a judge.
So when we got married and i brought a rolled Jeep home on a flatbed she went ballistic.

Out of sight in detached garage i eventually got it road worthy.

Automotive, remodel, electronics and fine pitch jewelry and eyeglass repair....sure do miss my old lab job.....was pretty handy on gov jobs ( microscopes, soldering tools etc ).

Gun and archery projects on the kitchen island dont phase her. Still bitches about Gunkote in the oven though.

goalie;
Top of the morning to you sir, I hope that the day's breaking bright and clear for you folks out east and that all in your family are well.

Thanks for the thread and the chuckles and nods that it's caused, I very much appreciate it.

Honestly there's been a few times in my life after I've introduced coworkers to my good wife where they've suggested this very topic - that is to say I must either be extremely useful around the place or one smooth talker - since I'm not much of a physical specimen to gaze upon.....

Steve Smith - Red Green - used to have a TV show with his wife Morag called Smith & Smith and I want to say Red Green was a character that arose there and just kept morphing into a life of it's own. It was a parody of the outdoors show "The Red Fisher Show" and both Smith and John Candy used to do some really funny skits based on that. Of course if you weren't a Canuck and had never heard of Red Fisher - well it was less humorous I'm sure.

Anyways, here's an interview of Steve Smith talking about his last tour - just watch to the 45 second mark folks - I believe most on the forum will find it a bit ironic if nothing else.



Thanks once again sir and all the best to you and yours in 2021.

Dwayne

Dwayne,

I've got the whole red green collection.

I guess I'm close enough to the border that I find it funny and I crave Tim Hortons coffee.

I do too, she would wait on me hand and foot if I’d let her.

goalie;
Thanks for the reply sir.

Well if you crave a Timmy's double double then you're indeed close to the medicine line!

For sure and certain some of the Red Green stuff might be a tad "regional" shall we say or perhaps more Canadian than some humor that translates across borders better, I'm not sure since I am one, you know?

The girls gave me one of his books one year for Christmas and it's good for a laugh as well.

Thanks again for the thread, the reply and for carrying on the manly tradition of being able to fix stuff that needs it sir!

All the best once again.

Dwayne

Man skill 101 is lost on ALOT of american men....

From how to fix a flat to how to fugg the schitt outta your ole lady.


I blame lifetime christmas movies for the downfall of the Alpha male and the rise of the beta boy.........

LMAO.

Fuggen hilarious.

Red Green is like the Canadian Patrick McManus. And yes, big thumbs up for TH coffee, it's stocked here in the grocery stores less than 200Mi S of the 49th.....

Edited to add, when new carbs became less than 2x the cost of a carb kit, carb kits became far less desirable. I can have a replacement carb on before someone can get a dirty carb off and apart, let alone clean, back together, and back on.........

Steve Smith signed this for me.

Niiiiiiiice

horse1;
Good morning to you sir, I trust the day's looking at least okay for you folks and all is as close to as it should be as possible in your part of the world.

Thanks for the info on Tim's coffee being sold in grocery stores down south. I want to say that Tim's is now owned by a Brazilian conglomerate that owns or used to own Burger King and Wendy's so it makes sense they're trying to broaden the market and all that.

My goodness I hear you on carb kits and new carbs. My young boss at the last place I worked prior to attempting retiring had a Stihl weed whacker that just wouldn't run right. The local saw shop said it wasn't worth their time to even look at it because they'd have to use factory Stihl parts, etc., etc. Even though they'd sold it to him less than 2 years prior.

Anyways, I said to him, "Let's let Grandpa take it home and take a quick look at it..."

Went online and for $20CDN had a carb, spark plug, fuel filter, fuel line, two primer bulbs and gaskets sent here - from Hong Kong of course. Oh, the cheapest carb kit I could find online was about $35CDN without import duties and freight. While I'm loathe to support the Chinese communists in any way, I wanted to do a favor for a friend who had a limited budget.

As you said, I had the new carb on in 10 minutes and it runs fine now.

All the best to you in 2021 sir and thanks again.

Dwayne

Fixing a Carb today is becoming a lost art. Hard to find a good carb guy(and most are elderly) and buying a new one is much easier

Handsome or handy? I am out on both counts, but I'll wreck some plumbing.

i got wife a new car and she does not deer hunt but wife got a big doe right before deer season with the new car , yep she found my checkbook handy again

All I did was take off the bowl (it was remarkably clean) and spray carb cleaner a few times.

My wife is amazed she never killed me 🤷🏻‍♂️

I stumbled over a site that had about 100,000 carb kits for briggs engines, that you look up and buy if you know the engine serial number. That has come in handy a time or two. The last carb I had apart, I implemented the holley carb trick of waxing each gasket with vaseline or chapstick before assembly.

Mixed experience with chinese carbs...the one that I bought for a husky weedeater is garbage. The one on my ancient yamaha beartracker works quite well.

After my father in law tried to scalp my truck with his tractor bucket, I located four doors from another truck, and that other truck happened to have power windows/locks/mirrors which I lacked. I obtained the cab wiring harness from said truck, untaped it and spread it out over my entire garage floor. It stretched about 30' from one end to the other. Then I compared wiring diagrams from 1999 XL model F350 and 2006 lariat model F350, and figured out how to power everything from either the existing 99 harness or a new fuse panel powered by an RV relay. Taped it back up, stripped the 99 interior, swapped the old body harness for new, soldered an a$$load of new to old wires, plugged everything in, and it all worked: lights, locks, windows, mirrors. I think THAT one finally impressed my wife, and the truck has not yet burned down. That one looked harder than it was, but not a project to drop for a month midway!

I do everything on my vehicles except machine work and electronics, I'll pay someone to do that.

Electronics on a vehicle is gonna be a no from me too.

I used to do most oil and fuel filters on my F250 7.3 diesel. Rotate the tires, belt changes even replaced the starter and alternator. I’m 61 and done with it. Got a brand new Four Runner sitting in the driveway and I’m writing checks from now on.

With age comes wisdom.

That wisdom comes from decades of fugging stuff up......

1/2 the ladies in this town are amazed "The Warden" hasn't put a 38 slug in my forehead, yet.
And pretty much ALL want to serve on the jury, when she does!

Goalie, Three M paid Steve Smith to greet his fans, and sign autographs.

Many bought rolls of duct tape, I took that old canoe paddle.

I think you should enjoy the praise and appreciation. I sure would if it ever happened to me.

You are correct sir.

"And it's just that easy".

"Keep your stick on the ice"

My wife was talking with one of her cousins about this. She asked if I was handy and my wife went on to let her know all the stuff I do with the cars house, dirt bikes, guns and so on. She was newly divorced and said she was going to hang out at Home Depot to look for her next husband.

SteveO is ugly and can’t repair sh it .

No damn wonder why I couldn't find any at Bed, Bath and Beyond and Pier One when I was single. They were all at Lowes and Home Depot looking for me there.

Red's humor is fit for anyone who's ever tried, whether successfully or not, to "fix" something. Ingenuity/borderline insanity will get you through in a pinch. And if you don't see yourself in many of Red's scenes, you've never done anything.

Yup. Trying and failing to build and fix stuff as a kid was very important. Especially if you didn't want to grow up to be the guy with no tools or mechanical aptitude.

Many of the "Adventures with Bill ", skits were right out of Harpo Marx.