Funny signs on the wall. Ever see any you like?

Free Beer Tomorrow

Please flush twice, Its a long way to the kitchen.

"Our aim is to keep this restroom clean. Your aim will help."

Flush twice for Memphis

But it was handwritten

Men: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service
Women: No Shoes, No Shirt, Free Drinks

"Please do not throw toothpicks in the urinal. The crabs can pole vault"

Bulls with short horns please stand close,
the next guy may be barefoot.




Truck drivers with 13 speedshitters, please use low range,
toilet not equipped with mudflaps.

Wash your hands ya filthy animal!

Oh. Just remembered this one!

Please Refrain from throwing cigarette butts in the urinal It makes them soggy and hard to light.

OUR CREDIT MANAGER IS HELEN WAITE. IF YOU WANT CREDIT, GO TO HELEN WAITE!

There used to be a bar at a little resort up on Lake Mille Lacs here in Minnesota. They had a non descript sign hanging on the wall near the beer taps and it simply said:
Y Q H J C Y A D O T C!
I made the mistake of asking the barkeep what the damned sign stood for. His answer was YOUR QURIOUSITY HAS JUST COST YOU A DOLLAR ON THE CEILING! I ponied up a buck, he wrapped it around a quart with a thumb tack sticking out of it, and tossed it up and stuck it to the sheet rock ceiling. He would donate those dollar bills to a charity and had given over $200.00 that year alone.

Be like dad , not like sis ,
Lift the lid before you piss !

One of my favorites,
He who writes upon bathroom walls
Rolls his shiit in little balls
He who reads these words of wit
Eats those little balls of shiit !


😃Kenneth

Don't tell Mom I work in the Oilfield, she thinks I'm a piano player in a whorehouse.

Hanging over the piano in a whorehouse in South Louisiana 30 years ago.

Don't ask how I know.

Here I sit, brokenhearted...

tried to $hit, but only farted !

In the days of pay toilets it was "paid to $hit and only farted."

In a tavern in Vallonia, Indiana is a sign that says “You can always tell a German cause’ you can’t tell him much.”

Read by James Earl Jones, bathroom wisdom. Now on audio books.

On the Condom dispenser in a Minneapolis bar:

Tarp yer Load!!!

I reserve the right to encourage self gratification.

Up river on the Missouri in a lumber yard bathroom. "Please flush, Lexington needs the water."

In the restroom at Base Operations over the urinal.. "Pilots with short stacks and low manifold pressure please taxi closer".

Probably not one of today's young flyers would have any idea what that meant.

Flying the C7A Caribou in Vietnam, we would frequently have a reporter from the Stars and Stripes, young Army E-5 IIRC, hitch a ride with us and tour around the country looking for stories. At that time, outhouse poetry and commentary had risen to towering heights, there were some really great lines there inscribed by some brilliant authors. This reporter would go into the outhouses along the route while we were loading or refueling or whatever, he copied down everything he found. Said when he got back to the World he was going to write a book with that stuff. Have always wondered if he made it back ok.

Pity the man who's love of poetry is aroused by the smell of shiet.

Dyslexics UNTIE!

Please don't do cocaine in our FUGGING bathroom!

We aim to please.

You aim too please.

In a restaurant, Unrestrained children will be given chocolate and a puppy.


mike r

Those with short bats,
Please step closer to the plate.

This one in the bathroom stall of a BC cafe:

Here I sit
My ass hole hurtin
Cause I just $hit
Another Albertan.


I guess there’s a little bit of provincial rivalry, eh?

Over a urinal south of Peekskill, NY. "Pee fast boys, our crabs swim upstream"

Here I sit all broken hearted
Tried to schitt but only farted
A little while later I took a chance
Tried to fart and schitt my pants.

“In case of fire, leave building BEFORE tweeting about it.”

A lot of Indians on welfare in Alberta, Canada. Years ago he saw a sign in a bar
“Last thing Jesus told the Indians before he left was don’t do anything till I get back.”
Same sign applies to a lot of groups.

For your safety, please keep your arms and legs inside the outhouse at all times

Sit back and enjoy the ride

Place called the Road Kill cafe.
They had good ones all over the place can't remember a one..
But the bartender, she drew cleavage on top of my pint instead of a clover.

Seen on scrawled on a strip club bathroom wall, "I fucked your mother". Below it someone else wrote, "Go home dad, you're drunk."

Ici tombent en ruine....les merveilles de la cuisine.

Hamburgers $5; Liver and Onions $250

Here's another: "I started out with nothin--I still have most of it."

My dad saw that about 50 years ago in a stall. He had my professor brother translate it into Latin. He's putting it on his headstone. A metaphor of his view on his life.

Just remember, it's the same fingers that pick your cigarette butts out of the urinal that put ice in your drinks.

Crap.... now I when I read them all, I heard them in the voice of James Earl Jones...

Google translate:

Sedeo fracta molliter
Sed modo conatus schitt farted


FWIW

Right next to my home town of Onamia, MN...

Here I sit my checks a flexing,
I just gave birth to another Texan!



Here I sit straining on the Pooper,
I just pushed out a new State Trooper!

Time to drop Obama's kids off at the pool!