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The age old question of what's it all about has been turning over and over in my mind lately.

My wife had a second heart attack a couple of days ago. Very scary and stressful for her and me. It was mild this time and she is doing good at present. Very small vein too small to fix. Thank God she is still with me.

On top of that I had a serious spell while sitting next to her in the hospital. Room started spinning, like 100mph, sweating like I was in a pouring rain, vomiting, could not stand up and kept my eyes closed because the spinning was so disorienting. As luck would have it, no better place for that to happen than a hospital. Two IVs bags of electrolytes later the spinning stopped and so did the sweats. Severe Dehydration? Vertigo? Gotta get checked out this week.

The point is that so many things have been going south on almost every single day that it is taking it's toll. Nothing seems of value. Hunting, and all other pursuits are of little interest. Fun seems distant at this stage. Why do we fight so hard to stay on the planet?

The only thing that makes sense is we do it for our family. My wife, kids, and dogs are reason enough to keep on keeping on and the thought of leaving them in the lurch is unacceptable. So get up tomorrow and continue the siege. I know many have a tougher time than me, and I marvel at what can be endured.

Anybody got a better explanation of what it is all about?
.
It’s life. Just talked with my wife last night about how we have hardships in front of us. It’s inevitable.

Keep pushing air. You matter to people and they need you. We all have those folks.
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.

There is still much good in this world, for those who choose to see and enjoy it. It’s what we choose to look at that colors our life. A lesson I am still learning, and have made pretty good strides at lately. Happier than I have been in years, and the only thing that changed was my perspective. Think about all the good things in your life, be thankful the bad wasn’t worse, and spend your energy treasuring what remains, rather than dreading its loss. May your road straighten and the wind be ever at your back. And may you be smart enough to enjoy it.
I'm no guru but keep on keeping on just to see what happens next. Eat some cheesy pretzels too I hear PA is known for that.
Originally Posted by OldGrayWolf
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.

There is still much good in this world, for those who choose to see and enjoy it. It’s what we choose to look at that colors our life. A lesson I am still learning, and have made pretty good strides at lately. Happier than I have been in years, and the only thing that changed was my perspective. Think about all the good things in your life, be thankful the bad wasn’t worse, and spend your energy treasuring what remains, rather than dreading its loss. May your road straighten and the wind be ever at your back. And may you be smart enough to enjoy it.


Wolf, all of our jabs at each other aside, that was very well written and to the core.

Please accept that in the spirit that it was given
I think it's easy to reach that point periodically where you ask yourself "what's the point?" I think there are lots of answers, and there has to be lots of answers because no two moments are ever the very same. Nonetheless, I think we strive to survive for those moments of joy and fulfillment that come along now and then. If it were all about the destination, there'd be pretty much no point at all. It's about the journey.

Damn. I am so FOS sometimes I amaze me.
a am sitting in a wheel chair right now, after three heart attacks and seven stents last year. in physical therapy with a hope to get out of the chair. i have had to have assistence with the most basic of things.
thank the good Lord my wife of over 40 years hasn't thrown me out, i love her more every day.
funny, i was 27 when i married that 37 year old with three kids. people said it wouldn't last, it did.
I for the time being can't do a lot of what i did through my lifetime. but i can still love my wife.
Originally Posted by RoninPhx
a am sitting in a wheel chair right now, after three heart attacks and seven stents last year. in physical therapy with a hope to get out of the chair. i have had to have assistence with the most basic of things.
thank the good Lord my wife of over 40 years hasn't thrown me out, i love her more every day.
funny, i was 27 when i married that 37 year old with three kids. people said it wouldn't last, it did.
I for the time being can't do a lot of what i did through my lifetime. but i can still love my wife.



All differences and disagreements aside, I think you've got it figured out.
Originally Posted by OldGrayWolf
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.


Well said.

Our job is to set an example for our younger relatives to remember us by.
Originally Posted by OldGrayWolf
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.

There is still much good in this world, for those who choose to see and enjoy it. It’s what we choose to look at that colors our life. A lesson I am still learning, and have made pretty good strides at lately. Happier than I have been in years, and the only thing that changed was my perspective. Think about all the good things in your life, be thankful the bad wasn’t worse, and spend your energy treasuring what remains, rather than dreading its loss. May your road straighten and the wind be ever at your back. And may you be smart enough to enjoy it.
word 👊🏻
Originally Posted by RiverRider
I think it's easy to reach that point periodically where you ask yourself "what's the point?" I think there are lots of answers, and there has to be lots of answers because no two moments are ever the very same. Nonetheless, I think we strive to survive for those moments of joy and fulfillment that come along now and then. If it were all about the destination, there'd be pretty much no point at all. It's about the journey.

Damn. I am so FOS sometimes I amaze me.



Hahaha! You can always tell a Texan....you just cant tell him much.



I am still here because I am to stubborn to go.


This country is trying to kill me all the time. I am Lt Dan hanging from the sail...
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?
Originally Posted by RoninPhx
a am sitting in a wheel chair right now, after three heart attacks and seven stents last year. in physical therapy with a hope to get out of the chair. i have had to have assistence with the most basic of things.
thank the good Lord my wife of over 40 years hasn't thrown me out, i love her more every day.
funny, i was 27 when i married that 37 year old with three kids. people said it wouldn't last, it did.
I for the time being can't do a lot of what i did through my lifetime. but i can still love my wife.



Ron, in a manner of speaking, you are a fortunate Man.

That’s not meant as being obtuse.

“For the time being “ says much.
Originally Posted by Jim_Conrad
Originally Posted by RiverRider
I think it's easy to reach that point periodically where you ask yourself "what's the point?" I think there are lots of answers, and there has to be lots of answers because no two moments are ever the very same. Nonetheless, I think we strive to survive for those moments of joy and fulfillment that come along now and then. If it were all about the destination, there'd be pretty much no point at all. It's about the journey.

Damn. I am so FOS sometimes I amaze me.



Hahaha! You can always tell a Texan....you just cant tell him much.



I am still here because I am to stubborn to go.


This country is trying to kill me all the time. I am Lt Dan hanging from the sail...



I can relate, Jim. Sometimes just the drive to be ornery is enough. If it always was enough, I'd be golden...but there is no nirvana.
Best as I can figure, it's all a developmental experience.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?




You too, huh? I've reviewed my entire life up to sixteen times each summer going around and around and around on my John Deere.
Originally Posted by OldGrayWolf
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.

There is still much good in this world, for those who choose to see and enjoy it. It’s what we choose to look at that colors our life. A lesson I am still learning, and have made pretty good strides at lately. Happier than I have been in years, and the only thing that changed was my perspective. Think about all the good things in your life, be thankful the bad wasn’t worse, and spend your energy treasuring what remains, rather than dreading its loss. May your road straighten and the wind be ever at your back. And may you be smart enough to enjoy it.


Very well said sir, thanks for sharing that!
Originally Posted by Diesel
The age old question of what's it all about has been turning over and over in my mind lately.

My wife had a second heart attack a couple of days ago. Very scary and stressful for her and me. It was mild this time and she is doing good at present. Very small vein too small to fix. Thank God she is still with me.

On top of that I had a serious spell while sitting next to her in the hospital. Room started spinning, like 100mph, sweating like I was in a pouring rain, vomiting, could not stand up and kept my eyes closed because the spinning was so disorienting. As luck would have it, no better place for that to happen than a hospital. Two IVs bags of electrolytes later the spinning stopped and so did the sweats. Severe Dehydration? Vertigo? Gotta get checked out this week.

The point is that so many things have been going south on almost every single day that it is taking it's toll. Nothing seems of value. Hunting, and all other pursuits are of little interest. Fun seems distant at this stage. Why do we fight so hard to stay on the planet?

The only thing that makes sense is we do it for our family. My wife, kids, and dogs are reason enough to keep on keeping on and the thought of leaving them in the lurch is unacceptable. So get up tomorrow and continue the siege. I know many have a tougher time than me, and I marvel at what can be endured.

Anybody got a better explanation of what it is all about?
.


Each of us must decide this for ourselves. Family's a good place to start.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....
I'm still here to irritate the living schit out of you dickweasels.
Originally Posted by Diesel
The age old question of what's it all about has been turning over and over in my mind lately.

My wife had a second heart attack a couple of days ago. Very scary and stressful for her and me. It was mild this time and she is doing good at present. Very small vein too small to fix. Thank God she is still with me.

On top of that I had a serious spell while sitting next to her in the hospital. Room started spinning, like 100mph, sweating like I was in a pouring rain, vomiting, could not stand up and kept my eyes closed because the spinning was so disorienting. As luck would have it, no better place for that to happen than a hospital. Two IVs bags of electrolytes later the spinning stopped and so did the sweats. Severe Dehydration? Vertigo? Gotta get checked out this week.

The point is that so many things have been going south on almost every single day that it is taking it's toll. Nothing seems of value. Hunting, and all other pursuits are of little interest. Fun seems distant at this stage. Why do we fight so hard to stay on the planet?

The only thing that makes sense is we do it for our family. My wife, kids, and dogs are reason enough to keep on keeping on and the thought of leaving them in the lurch is unacceptable. So get up tomorrow and continue the siege. I know many have a tougher time than me, and I marvel at what can be endured.

Anybody got a better explanation of what it is all about?
.

If you believe in God, then you believe he has a plan and a purpose for each of us.... Our job is to find that purpose or purposes and live each day fulfilling it. To someone in your life, you are their sunshine. They want or need your guidance, support, help or whatever. The list could go on and on. Get up tomorrow and just be glad you could and pay attention to who is around you. Someone needs you, whether you know it or not. You're needed here until God decides you aren't, then you get to go home. That's what it's all about for me...
Originally Posted by Diesel
The age old question of what's it all about has been turning over and over in my mind lately.

My wife had a second heart attack a couple of days ago. Very scary and stressful for her and me. It was mild this time and she is doing good at present. Very small vein too small to fix. Thank God she is still with me.

On top of that I had a serious spell while sitting next to her in the hospital. Room started spinning, like 100mph, sweating like I was in a pouring rain, vomiting, could not stand up and kept my eyes closed because the spinning was so disorienting. As luck would have it, no better place for that to happen than a hospital. Two IVs bags of electrolytes later the spinning stopped and so did the sweats. Severe Dehydration? Vertigo? Gotta get checked out this week.

The point is that so many things have been going south on almost every single day that it is taking it's toll. Nothing seems of value. Hunting, and all other pursuits are of little interest. Fun seems distant at this stage. Why do we fight so hard to stay on the planet?

The only thing that makes sense is we do it for our family. My wife, kids, and dogs are reason enough to keep on keeping on and the thought of leaving them in the lurch is unacceptable. So get up tomorrow and continue the siege. I know many have a tougher time than me, and I marvel at what can be endured.

Anybody got a better explanation of what it is all about?
.

Sounds like you have been given a big dose of perspective. In light of all that you and your wife have been through lately, the more mundane pursuits in your life have suddenly become less important to you.
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....

Wrong

I mow every 4-5 days

You must have me mixed up with someone else.
Ever see that drawing of a buffalo standing against a blowing snowstorm. "Waiting for a Chinook" I think was the title. That has been me for the last year and a half.

Ron, You finding even the smallest good thing in the toughest of spots is inspiration to those of less difficult circumstance. Thanks for posting.
,...heard someone giving a talk a little while ago. They said that people can't know how their life has affected others,...said at *best* a person may recognize 2 or 3 ripples that they've caused to maybe a small circle of people.

But in reality, a person's life causes a very large number of "ripples" that affects an innumerable amount of people.

So,..there's this large set of circumstances that everybody's life plays a part in,...and everybody is totally unaware of all but a few of them.

Originally Posted by RiverRider
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?




You too, huh? I've reviewed my entire life up to sixteen times each summer going around and around and around on my John Deere.


You two are doing it all wrong. Cold beer and a pair of workmates headphones streaming “Randy Rogers band” radio on Pandora.
If life isn’t fun anymore you’re either not working enough or not drinking enough. Life consistently tries to kick you in the balls. You have to kick life in the balls right back.
Like everything else, you get out of life exactly what you put into it.
Had a young girl hang it up here a number of years ago,
by chance my youngest was in a theater production of Annie at that time.

The song Tomorrow from that play hit me hard at that time,
It's why so many youngsters give up/why older people often don't.

With years we learn "That this too shall pass". Today's trials will
fade, and "The sun will come out tomorrow".

As others have said, family is the buffer and the motivation.
Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....

Wrong

I mow every 4-5 days

You must have me mixed up with someone else.




Slum....Was that YOU in the Tom Hanks movie????? You all know which one I'm talking about.

Diesel....Praying things get better for you. I?We know my main purpose in life was my kids...and now grandkids.
Originally Posted by jackmountain

Originally Posted by RiverRider
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?




You too, huh? I've reviewed my entire life up to sixteen times each summer going around and around and around on my John Deere.


You two are doing it all wrong. Cold beer and a pair of workmates headphones streaming “Randy Rogers band” radio on Pandora.
If life isn’t fun anymore you’re either not working enough or not drinking enough. Life consistently tries to kick you in the balls. You have to kick life in the balls right back.
Like everything else, you get out of life exactly what you put into it.
i fire up a fattie when I bush hog the fields, deep thoughts abound
Suspect the confusion is with someone in your neighborhood.

Do some of my best thinking while my wife is mowing (with rider).

She enjoys it.........and I push mowed, for a living, age 12-16.....along with 2 paper routes. Had bad hay fever back then.

Would prefer pouring some concrete and painting it green.

Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....

Wrong

I mow every 4-5 days

You must have me mixed up with someone else.

What's the point?

OldGrayWolf hit the nail smack dab solid on the head and sunk it in one swing. It's about enjoying what you have and living everyday trying to bring a spot of sunshine into someone else's life. You have to learn to look at ALL the beauty and wonder of life! It's all around you, just waiting to be noticed. Attitude, attitude, attitude is the key to happiness. Only you can make you happy!!!
Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....

Wrong

I mow every 4-5 days

You must have me mixed up with someone else.



Might be that other fella you slum around with that I'm thinking about...
I frankly enjoy cutting grass anymore. Winters over, weather is nice and i can sit and think for a bit while still feeling like I'm doing something.
One thing is certain.......things cannot stay the same for 5 minutes.

Been close to death twice in distant past.....once totally my fault. Giving up really never crossed the mind.

The plan is to go down kicking, whenever that happens.

Originally Posted by Diesel
Ever see that drawing of a buffalo standing against a blowing snowstorm. "Waiting for a Chinook" I think was the title. That has been me for the last year and a half.

Ron, You finding even the smallest good thing in the toughest of spots is inspiration to those of less difficult circumstance. Thanks for posting.

Originally Posted by OldGrayWolf
We don’t live for ourselves unless we are too shallow to be of any value. Any decent human is of value to those connected to them, and much of the worth of life is in being here to bring positive things to the lives of others. The positive things we receive in return are the result of a good life, not what makes it.

There is still much good in this world, for those who choose to see and enjoy it. It’s what we choose to look at that colors our life. A lesson I am still learning, and have made pretty good strides at lately. Happier than I have been in years, and the only thing that changed was my perspective. Think about all the good things in your life, be thankful the bad wasn’t worse, and spend your energy treasuring what remains, rather than dreading its loss. May your road straighten and the wind be ever at your back. And may you be smart enough to enjoy it.


+1 Well said.
Originally Posted by jackmountain

Originally Posted by RiverRider
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?




You too, huh? I've reviewed my entire life up to sixteen times each summer going around and around and around on my John Deere.


You two are doing it all wrong. Cold beer and a pair of workmates headphones streaming “Randy Rogers band” radio on Pandora.
If life isn’t fun anymore you’re either not working enough or not drinking enough. Life consistently tries to kick you in the balls. You have to kick life in the balls right back.
Like everything else, you get out of life exactly what you put into it.


Hell yeah!

Sitting in a hospital room in my mid twenties wondering what why and how as I looked at my wife to be. Test after test followed by guess after guess. Finally they figured it out and delivered the instantly life altering news that condemned us to a life together of uncertainty as to when and where and how bad it would strike her down again.

She gave me the option, said she wouldn’t blame me or hold it against me if I wanted to call it off and just walk away. I couldn’t even think of it, to be so cruel and heartless to the only woman I’d ever really fell in love with.

Been almost fifteen years we’ve been together and married almost a decade.
Almost a decade since I more or less quit giving a schit about anything that I don’t choose to give a schit about. Lawn needs cut, fugg it I feel like going fishing. Garage is a wreck and needs organized, not going to happen if it’s hunting season. My dad doesn’t understand and really most other guys don’t either and that’s probably a good thing, in my dad’s case it means he’s never had to endure the kind of stress I do daily by not knowing.

For me I keep pushing because my wife and my son depend on me. Forgetting about the superficial stuff like keeping my grass manicured gets some little bit of stress out of my life. Taking my little boy to the lake and watching him drive the boat or catch a few fish let’s me temporarily forget the responsibilities that I have with more on the horizon someday. That to me is worth all the gold in Fort Knox.

Hang tough, you’ll get it sorted out.
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
Originally Posted by xxclaro
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Probably because you let the grass get long and the wife told you to cut it before it gets all clumpy and whatnot....

Wrong

I mow every 4-5 days

You must have me mixed up with someone else.



Might be that other fella you slum around with that I'm thinking about...
I frankly enjoy cutting grass anymore. Winters over, weather is nice and i can sit and think for a bit while still feeling like I'm doing something.


That’s it.

My time to myself.
I'm looking forward to death, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna give up on life.
The only thing that makes sense is we do it for our family

This
"It is a curious sensation: The sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.
When your heart is broken. Your boats are burned and nothing matters anymore.
It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace."

~ George Bernard Shaw
Anyone who has been close to death knows how peaceful and pain free the moment is. Life is good live it while you can.
Diesel,

You are going through hard times now.
That's a lot of stress looking after your wife who came close. Now that's tough enough on a good day in your prime. As we age, of course the hormones and the physical mechanisms for coping decrease. You know this no doubt. I'm just stating the obvious, but sometimes it helps to step back and be reminded of the bigger picture when you're not in the middle of it.
The winter and early spring leave us with little D3 hormone reserves and various other required nutrients.
Eating right helps more than we realize. I developed a
One thing that many find helpful to stave off the winter blues, and depression are supplementing with vitamin D3 at the proper dosage, exercise, talking to your family a little every day. I don't know if you are a Christian, but God offers a lot of encouragement in the Psalms. It's a good book to read a chapter from each day along with the Gospel of John. The Holy Spirit is our comforter too.

Prayer walks in the mornings in short sleeves with a family member or friend, D3, lots of water, cutting out sugar... there's lots that we can do with the Lord's help to strengthen and get past the tough times. The morning sunshine really helps, especially if your wife is able to get out there with you. Pray and read or listen to the word together too. I know a family who doesn't have a local church, but they've come through tough times reading it every day. They just lost their daughter. I was just contacted by the son as I write this, that the Dad just had a possible stroke. However, we have the Lord to ask for help in these times of need.
I'll post the audio Bible in the next post if you want to listen.

Those are a few ideas, but there's guys here that have had time to be there just to listen since you have been a member.
Sometimes thats what helps.

I will prayer for you and your wife.

HC
In the nearly 45 years we have been married, we both have had plenty of reasons to get to that point. My bride has had more abdominal surgeries than I care to remember, the last one just over a month ago. I have diabetes, MS, a bout with Covid last fall and have had a few surgeries myself. I have been beside her and she beside me through all those times. The older we get the less the "little" things matter to us (i.e. lawn mowing, immaculate landscaping and garden). We are both slowing down but still try to focus on what we can do when we can, as long as we enjoy it, It would have been easy to give up instead if going forward but we are not built that way.

Forge ahead, Diesel. Prayers for better days/weeks/months/years going forward for you and your wife.
Had another attack on Easter morning and was glad i had some meds to make it quit.

Till it stopped i went to my shop and pulled some brass out of the cleaner.

It took a lot longer to get it done because when standing i got dizzy.

Go set on a stool for a spell then go again.

When done i came back to the house and told the wife i was going to lay down for a spell.

I have a oxygen generator by the bed,so turned it on and had a nice 2 hours of doing nothing.

The oxygen made the aftereffects easier and i was not as tired.
The Doc told me they could to an ablation but he could not say i would wake up without a pacemaker so no dice.

As long as the meds work or if bad enough i will to the er.

SVT's suck but if caught in time won't maim you or get one planted.

Hope you folks can get over it and back to some type of normal.
Bookmark this and you'll have the best audio Bible available IMHO.

Psalms is first. Then to find John, you have to scroll down a ways.


[video:youtube]https://m.youtube.com/c/GoodHopeKJV/search?query=Alexander[/video]
There are certain things that happen to many of us that suck but we except them as part of life. I can live with that even though I may not like it. What depressed me far more is watching what my country is becoming at the hands of some of the most corrupt and disgusting human beings on Earth, and knowing that future generations will never understand what American greatness really was.
Originally Posted by TheKid
Forgetting about the superficial stuff like keeping my grass manicured gets some little bit of stress out of my life.



When you get really sick in the head and have no life you view mowing the lawn as a control mechanism.....lol
Big things are actually small.
And the tiny, huge.
Maybe perspective changes as we get older, or maybe we slow down enough to just see things for what they are.

I used to be smart. Now im not sure.
Know less, but understand more.

People are different and so are relationships.
Double edged sword, comparing yours to others.
Or what you think others are.
Maybe we settle when we shouldnt.
Maybe we are better off than we think.

Lost my career, bud and marriage, and have a sick kid.

Sure didnt turn out the way i planned. Deserve way better.
But Im a spiteful bastard and thats one reason im still here

Some little shred of optimism I can never shake myself free of.........that things might get better, or if they dont I still need to be here for some reason.

If I really knew the answers itd be pretty easy to make the call on leaving, or not.
I strive to stay alive because I think I’m the most important person on the planet.
There are patches in life that are there just to get through and learn from; it is no crime using our memories and dreams just to make it. All good things come to an end and so do all bad things. Godspeed, Diesel.
If you have a spouse, or grandkids, or yet give a damn about this once great country....proly need to stick around as one person can have quite a bit of influence/ effect.

Depression is part of life, thankfully its usually temporary.

Think most folks can weather such storms, but repeated ones can have the dangerous aspect of making one weary.

Good Book says something about that.
Originally Posted by deflave
I strive to stay alive because I think I’m the most important person on the planet.


Isnt that the definition of a liberal?
weekly, unless I manage to avoid the evening news every day of the week...
I quit TV about 6 months ago

Sure does help.

And have cut back on web crap too.
I LIVE to antagonize "The Warden" smile She calls me Pepe le Peu! smile
That said, I live for her, the kids, and the grandkids. Everything I do is to try to improve their lives.
Money, faith, and values, all the way around.
Originally Posted by hookeye
Originally Posted by deflave
I strive to stay alive because I think I’m the most important person on the planet.


Isnt that the definition of a liberal?


No.
Originally Posted by hookeye
I quit TV about 6 months ago

Sure does help.

And have cut back on web crap too.


Does TV kill people?
Originally Posted by TheKid
Sitting in a hospital room in my mid twenties wondering what why and how as I looked at my wife to be. Test after test followed by guess after guess. Finally they figured it out and delivered the instantly life altering news that condemned us to a life together of uncertainty as to when and where and how bad it would strike her down again.

She gave me the option, said she wouldn’t blame me or hold it against me if I wanted to call it off and just walk away. I couldn’t even think of it, to be so cruel and heartless to the only woman I’d ever really fell in love with.

Been almost fifteen years we’ve been together and married almost a decade.
Almost a decade since I more or less quit giving a schit about anything that I don’t choose to give a schit about. Lawn needs cut, fugg it I feel like going fishing. Garage is a wreck and needs organized, not going to happen if it’s hunting season. My dad doesn’t understand and really most other guys don’t either and that’s probably a good thing, in my dad’s case it means he’s never had to endure the kind of stress I do daily by not knowing.

For me I keep pushing because my wife and my son depend on me. Forgetting about the superficial stuff like keeping my grass manicured gets some little bit of stress out of my life. Taking my little boy to the lake and watching him drive the boat or catch a few fish let’s me temporarily forget the responsibilities that I have with more on the horizon someday. That to me is worth all the gold in Fort Knox.

Hang tough, you’ll get it sorted out.


you should print this out and give it to your dad.......bob
Originally Posted by P_Weed
"It is a curious sensation: The sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling.
When your heart is broken. Your boats are burned and nothing matters anymore.
It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace."

~ George Bernard Shaw




That is DARK.
Onward thru the fog!
There are no material things that matter to me in this world, just people.

My grandmother used to say life is a bunch of crap with a little happiness thrown in. She was a great strong woman, born in 1907, went from mule teams to a Cadillac. Growing up in Missouri and 15 years old, she once had to take a knife to the hired hand on her father's farm and run him off, he was abusive to her younger brother. Lost her 3rd child as an infant, suffered through the depression, married my grandfather at 17 after both of her parents died within months of each other after moving to Colorado. She lived to 97 in a house I built for her on my dad's property, was well to do by then with money and property... yet her only true happiness was her family.

At 64 I understand the same thing for the same reasons.

Death has never scared me and will be welcome when it comes, until then I search for nuggets of happiness in all the crap.

Kent
Endeavor to persevere.
Chief Dan George

Life is a boxing match with only a brief respite before the next bell.
Anon
Life is a chit sandwich and everyday you take another bite.However the more bread you have the less chit you have to eat.
Originally Posted by RoninPhx
a am sitting in a wheel chair right now, after three heart attacks and seven stents last year. in physical therapy with a hope to get out of the chair. i have had to have assistence with the most basic of things.
thank the good Lord my wife of over 40 years hasn't thrown me out, i love her more every day.
funny, i was 27 when i married that 37 year old with three kids. people said it wouldn't last, it did.
I for the time being can't do a lot of what i did through my lifetime. but i can still love my wife.
Said a prayer for you my friend. I'm sorry to hear of all this.
Sit talking and listening with a very dear friend who is in his final moments. One that aspired, achieved, gave much to others and now with everything to live for, is going away far too early in life and through no fault of his own.

These things can make one deeply thankful for what they have including their trials and their dark days.

Perspectives.
Originally Posted by Old_Toot
Endeavor to persevere.
Chief Dan George

Life is a boxing match with only a brief respite before the next bell.
Anon

Are you always the dumbest person in the room?

LMAO
To quote the poet and satirist Dorothy Parker:

"Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.”
Don't want you guys to get the wrong impression. I still got a lotta kick left in me and will just step it up another notch for my wife. Like Big Jim says, I'm just too stubborn to quit. I have been around awhile and plan to be some more.

Lots of wisdom been espoused on this thread. I thank you all for the thoughts and experiences.

The thing that has kept me at the fire all this time is knowing that this a a pretty good bunch of folks. Some days it would appear that you all want to kill each other, and the next it is a support team in action. There is solace in being able to type out what you are dealing with to folks that will hear you out. The "Fire" to the rescue when we think another needs a bucking up. Never look for pity, just perspective.

Today is a new day with renewed resolve.

And yes, Flave, you are the most important person on the planet. Just like the rest of us.
We're all hunters...
I get that way every morning as I awaken. Everything ...everything hurts, and I don't want to move.

Then, Rosie runs by with one of my shoes and wants to play keep-away, Buster the Cairn barks for his morning milkbone, Kiki Cat rubs her face on mine and purrs, and Jenny-Penny licks the cat and me.

I realize I have responsibilities.
Originally Posted by deflave
I strive to stay alive because I think I’m the most important person on the planet.

Proof that delusion can beat depression. GD
Originally Posted by BobBrown
Originally Posted by Old_Toot
Endeavor to persevere.
Chief Dan George

Life is a boxing match with only a brief respite before the next bell.
Anon

Are you always the dumbest person in the room?

LMAO


Not as long as you’re around, Flave.
Stay close.
Cant change the past.
You can live for the present.
And influence the future somewhat or alot.


If your ticket is gonna get punched.
It's gonna happen and their ain't much you can do about it.
If ya had a good run at life.
People will remember it in ways.

So dont worry about tommorow.
Take it today.
Forget about the check.
We'll get hell to pay....
and have a drink on me
Originally Posted by rem141r
and have a drink on me

👍👍👍👍👍
Glad someone got it!
LOL!!!
Yeah, reading this outside because the witch was banging and clanging pans in the kitchen.

My tinnitus and misophonia raging.

So am on the fire in my Jeep.
She comes out like she expects me to take her to dinner.
Told her to GFY.

Whats valuable?

Fuggin peace and quiet.

Seriously. Have lived my life for everybody else.
Its me time now.

Ordering a new bow tonight.
Originally Posted by hookeye
Yeah, reading this outside because the witch was banging and clanging pans in the kitchen.

My tinnitus and misophonia raging.

So am on the fire in my Jeep.
She comes out like she expects me to take her to dinner.
Told her to GFY.

Whats valuable?

Fuggin peace and quiet.

Seriously. Have lived my life for everybody else.
Its me time now.

Ordering a new bow tonight.

👍👍👍👍👍
Damn. I just try to enjoy my day.
Bunch of miserable fuqks on here...
Originally Posted by renegade50
Originally Posted by rem141r
and have a drink on me

👍👍👍👍👍
Glad someone got it!
LOL!!!



Age and lifetstyle dependent inside jokey, I figure. wink

[quote=Old_Toot]Endeavor to persevere.
Chief Dan George

You boys sure are civilized
Ever get to the point where not much matters?

Have never yet hit that spot, but easy enough to understand how it happens for some folks. Each among us seems to have our own form of yeast.

At times I try to analyze the key things that sustain the drive for life and the future in some others - and introspect. I have not much studied the cases of wilting. Maybe one should - but wait - do I wish to know about that?

Your OP has been a thought and response provoker - some good stuff. I have a feeling that you are good to go for quite a while.
Originally Posted by GRIZZ
Bunch of miserable fuqks on here...



Yeah, and you're the most miserablest.
I tested positive for Covid on 10-16-20, second day of Rifle elk season here. I was truly sick for a month ,which seemed strange as I thought I was so what healthy. After I got well enough, I went to have a lump on my neck checked out. From there things got real. the lump on my neck proved to be cancerous and into lymph nodes. I have had 2 major surgeries, two minor procedures and a completely awful day in a dentist chair since the beginning of November, I am also going for immunotherapy treatments every three weeks now for the next year. I have spent a month in my recliner recovering from neck surgery on two separate times, and more needles and tests than I would wish on an enemy. I have been slightly depressed by all the down time and just sick of being sick. Food ,entertainment and having fun seemed pointless. The cancer center I go has changed my view point. There are always someone in worse shape and going through worse than we are. Yes your wife had a heart attack and I pray for her, but she is still alive and able to continue. You had a stress and hydration bound event, but you are better. Focus on the good and the Blessings and have faith and hope. If you dwell on the bad, you might as well lay down in the yard and pull the sod up over your head. Prayers to you both to restore health and encouragement to move forward towards better things.
Originally Posted by luv2safari
Originally Posted by GRIZZ
Bunch of miserable fuqks on here...



Yeah, and you're the most miserablest.

Awe, fuqk you...
Diesel you are suffering from depression. A dangerous situation.
I know exactly how you feel.
Originally Posted by wyoming260
I tested positive for Covid on 10-16-20, second day of Rifle elk season here. I was truly sick for a month ,which seemed strange as I thought I was so what healthy. After I got well enough, I went to have a lump on my neck checked out. From there things got real. the lump on my neck proved to be cancerous and into lymph nodes. I have had 2 major surgeries, two minor procedures and a completely awful day in a dentist chair since the beginning of November, I am also going for immunotherapy treatments every three weeks now for the next year. I have spent a month in my recliner recovering from neck surgery on two separate times, and more needles and tests than I would wish on an enemy. I have been slightly depressed by all the down time and just sick of being sick. Food ,entertainment and having fun seemed pointless. The cancer center I go has changed my view point. There are always someone in worse shape and going through worse than we are. Yes your wife had a heart attack and I pray for her, but she is still alive and able to continue. You had a stress and hydration bound event, but you are better. Focus on the good and the Blessings and have faith and hope. If you dwell on the bad, you might as well lay down in the yard and pull the sod up over your head. Prayers to you both to restore health and encouragement to move forward towards better things.



wyoming260 , Diesel ,

Hope things work out perfect for you/wife/family - prayers up .

When we get the rug yanked out from under our feet - we just have to rub our knees & butt - get up and stand on the rug again .
Originally Posted by Diesel


On top of that I had a serious spell while sitting next to her in the hospital. Room started spinning, like 100mph, sweating like I was in a pouring rain, vomiting, could not stand up and kept my eyes closed because the spinning was so disorienting. As luck would have it, no better place for that to happen than a hospital. Two IVs bags of electrolytes later the spinning stopped and so did the sweats. Severe Dehydration? Vertigo? Gotta get checked out this week.

.


Get in front of a cardiologist NOW and get your azz on a treadmill for a nuclear stress test.

It could be an anxiety attack. But it could also be you are on the verge of a serious heart issue.

Those were exactly the symptoms that prompted me to get checked out. I relay this not to freak you out, but rather to get you into action.

Little over two years ago I was standing in living room waiting for the wife to get out of the spare room from her workout so I could start mine. Standing there with zero exertion, I suddenly got dizzy, and started profusely sweating from my head. As you said "like I was in a pouring rain".

I thought maybe I was getting sick. Took temperature, it was fine. Changed clothes, and when the wife finished up her workout, I told her what happened and we needed to go to urgent care. These are signs of an impending heart attack!

The sweating and dizziness subsided within 5 minutes or so, but I acted anyway.

Went in to urgent care, and only thing showing up was a low heart rate. Bradycardia. With that they called an ambulance, and took me to my hospital at UCLA.

I had multiple EKG's in the couple or so years before this incident, and during this incident. Chest X-rays. Ultrasound tests. Blood tests. NONE of them showed anything wrong until I got on that treadmill. What started a test with myself, 2 techs, and the wife in the room turned apparently bad in a hurry. Once I hit target heart rate, I knew something was wrong. When I stepped off treadmill there were about 8 people in the room with very concerned looks on their faces. Doc said "EKG was abnormal. I believe I know what this is. You have a blockage in your left anterior descending artery. We are now leaving this room to go into operating room, and we are going to perform an angioplasty, and attempt to insert a stent. If that doesn't work, we are taking you upstairs for bypass surgery."

I was blown away. What do you mean "taking me now"? What are the pros? What are the risks? Doc said "you don't understand, we are leaving NOW to do this. The risk is if you don't do this, you could drop from a major heart attack at any moment. The pros are you will live, and if something does happen during the angioplasty, you could not be in a better place to deal with it. It is time to go...now." Wife in tears, I'm in shock, we said our "I love you's", they wheeled me out, and not 5 minutes after I stepped off the treadmill, they had me on the table and were going into the artery in my arm.

My left anterior descending artery (the "widowmaker") was blocked 80% to 85%. I was a walking fatal coronary waiting to happen. And it showed up nowhere except during the stress EKG treadmill test.

I got lucky. Zero heart damage. Had an enlarged chamber (don't remember which one) but doc said that one could return to normal in time. It has going by latest tests. I've got the ejection fraction of an 18 year old.

Couple docs told me the two best decisions I ever made (and which saved my life) was that I had started taking a baby aspirin every day for about a month before that when I re-started my workout program. The other was to come in when I experienced those symptoms, which could have been easily written off as several other things were I to be in denial. Had I written them off as anxiety, a bug, or nothing, I surely would not be here now.

Get checked out. Get on the treadmill. Even if it has to come out of pocket.
Had a similar, but perhaps not so severe, incident a year or so ago. EKG, stress test, carotid ultrasound, and CAT scan were clean. Been rowing, dragging dead animals, and working hard in the yard before and ever since, but it’s always kinda in the back of my mind. If it happens, I hope I’m having fun!

That stress test was my third. All concluded that I get tired and my heartbeat goes up when I’m driven like a mule by cardio techs. Duh!
Diesel I'm sure sorry to hear that you're having so carry such a load right now and I hope it gets lighter for you. Faith in God has made a huge difference for me at times like you're having.

In reading through your thread I was thinking of people that have endured far more than me. One thought was of the men that flew those B25s of the deck of the USS Hornet with the mission to bomb Tokyo. They knew they may be flying the last mission of their lives but they we're not doing what they chose to do for themselves. They did it for their family, friends and people like us that they'd never know. Then the story of the little boy that was asked to give blood to his sister so she might live. During the process he asked the doctor when he would die. He was giving his blood thinking it would take his life.

I think it's good advice for you to get your hearty checked out. Might be that you're fine and just hearing that will give you hope. If you're not at least you're still alive to get help. Depression is serious stuff too. I've been there. Sticking to a good routine helps with that. Most of all for me is faith in God but I also have to do my part.

I remember about 4 years ago having some chest pains. My wife works in the hospital so I called her and told her I was going to be in the emergency room shortly. She rushed home and got me to take me there. They took good care if me and kept me overnight. The next morning after finding nothing wrong the doc suggested a stress test. My wife had already told me this doctor was one of the best. Well this test started, on the treadmill. He got my heart rate up to where it was supposed to be according to my age and all looked good. He asked if I could go more. I figured if I'm going to have a coronary it might as well be here so I told him yes. He finally shut id down and told me I might as well plan on something else to kill me. That was good news and I'm telling you after that I felt like I could whip and grizzly bear! My point is to find out if you're okay and if that's the case then fight with all you have and if you've got health issues fight with all you've got. Life matters and yours is precious!
All good advice guys. And thanks.

Within the last few weeks and before this spinning and sweating episode, I had a full, in hospital, checkout.. Treadmill, EKG, ultrasound of heart, bloodwork...all of it. Great blood, heart, low cholesterol. Got a throat scope and have some issues there, but on meds for that.

So now I have an appointment to look at the possible reasons for the spell

The wife is home, feeling tired, mentally drained and fearful. We are being vigilant and careful. I can guess pretty close what she is thinking because I watched my Dad struggle with several heart attacks and how he dealt with it mentally. Knowing you are compromised has a toll on you. Some tough days ahead, I'm sure.
Originally Posted by slumlord
I ask a lot of life’s questions while mowing. Mainly, why I am here?


Condom broke ? One to many strokes?
Carpe diem.
Originally Posted by kamo_gari
Originally Posted by renegade50
Originally Posted by rem141r
and have a drink on me

👍👍👍👍👍
Glad someone got it!
LOL!!!



Age and lifetstyle dependent inside jokey, I figure. wink




Rockin! F u ck yeah.
Originally Posted by ol_mike
Originally Posted by wyoming260
I tested positive for Covid on 10-16-20, second day of Rifle elk season here. I was truly sick for a month ,which seemed strange as I thought I was so what healthy. After I got well enough, I went to have a lump on my neck checked out. From there things got real. the lump on my neck proved to be cancerous and into lymph nodes. I have had 2 major surgeries, two minor procedures and a completely awful day in a dentist chair since the beginning of November, I am also going for immunotherapy treatments every three weeks now for the next year. I have spent a month in my recliner recovering from neck surgery on two separate times, and more needles and tests than I would wish on an enemy. I have been slightly depressed by all the down time and just sick of being sick. Food ,entertainment and having fun seemed pointless. The cancer center I go has changed my view point. There are always someone in worse shape and going through worse than we are. Yes your wife had a heart attack and I pray for her, but she is still alive and able to continue. You had a stress and hydration bound event, but you are better. Focus on the good and the Blessings and have faith and hope. If you dwell on the bad, you might as well lay down in the yard and pull the sod up over your head. Prayers to you both to restore health and encouragement to move forward towards better things.



wyoming260 , Diesel ,

Hope things work out perfect for you/wife/family - prayers up .

When we get the rug yanked out from under our feet - we just have to rub our knees & butt - get up and stand on the rug again .



My prognosis is good , and I am about recovered from surgeries, Had a lateral neck dissection and a skin graf , so rehabbing use of left arm do to nerve damage. all fixable and I am ready to catch a few trout if the weather would cooperate for more than a day at a time!!!!!
Bronnie Ware is a nurse who spends most of her time with people during the last 12 weeks of their lives, she works in hospice in a specific context and has for many years. She began to ask these people specific questions and after awhile she began to see a pattern, and she started writing these things down. The top two regrets they had at the end of their lives:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. She said this was the most common regret of all. When people realize their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard. She said this came from every male patient she’d cared for. They missed their children’s youth and their partners companionship. All of the men she cared for deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
Antlers, Interesting short list. The work treadmill is definitely a biggy for the average guy. Getting ahead of the necessities by doing a mundane task day in and day out is a spirit crusher.
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