Sometimes You Just Have to Laugh at Yourself

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking dudes.

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking dudes.

LMAO

🦫

Eat more fiber one bars!

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking dudes.

I did a few months ago athhole.

UUT -OH

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking dudes.

I did a few months ago athhole.

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking letting dudes fugk you.

Fixed

Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by High_Noon

Thanks for sharting.

You are moist welcome.

Getting Older Sucks Big time

Originally Posted by jackmountain

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking letting dudes fugk you.

Fixed

Yup, this.

If you look up "TMI" in the online dictionary, the OP pops up.

Plus, nobody can fart like an elk bugle.

Jack Nicholson “Never trust a fart”

I am more convinced every day that bike riders need their own restroom.

Originally Posted by smokepole

If you look up "TMI" in the online dictionary, the OP pops up.

Plus, nobody can fart like an elk bugle.

I schidt you not.

KY will do that

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

Originally Posted by deflave

Stop fugking dudes.

I did a few months ago athhole.

Punctuation is important:

"I did, a few months ago"; or

"I did a few, months ago".

Which is it?

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

Originally Posted by deflave

Originally Posted by PaulBarnard

I rarely ever fart during the day. I can blow the blanket off the bed in the middle of the night though. Sometimes I wake myself and my wife up. On my last night in Chama, I let out a really long one. It sounded exactly like an elk bugle. But at the very end it made a splatter sound. I thought nah, that was safe and started to drift back off to sleep. Something stirred me though, so I got up to take a piss. Sure enough, I had rocketed some assphlegm into my drawers. I spent the better part of the morning on the toilet. I think someone snuck some of that colonoscopy prep into my supper. What a rude awakening huh?

Stop fugking dudes.

I did a few months ago athhole.

For Lent?

When I was 12, sitting in church, I felt pretty sure I could lean a bit and ease one off......

Unfortunately the result was a window rattler that crisply yelped off the wooden pew.....it was a tough service to get thru from that point on.

I dont remember what I had for breakfast.....and fortunately everyone who could connect the disturbance to me has now passed on.

Thanks for the good, deep laugh, kids. Been a long day.

They was this one time at Epcot center. In that Canada I-Max 360 theater. Bout 600 people crowded in there all shouldered up.

I eased a good one out in there during that Oh Canada song. Bunch of horses all running across a prairie or some chit.

A freakin mosh pit started opening up around me. I couldn’t not laugh. haha I proudly owned it. Dang some people were really mad. jeeze

We were inside the Hoover Dam, touring the lower level where they keep Megatron. Anyway, the elevator going up had an issue. So about 50 of us had to go down this 1/2 mile long hallway to another small elevator. Only like 4 people could go at a time.
Hot as hell in there, no air circulating, long line people single file. People in front me had some baby strollers. I let a good one off.
Karen in front of me looked at her husband with a cold steel stare and said real low: “honey did you do that” I bout choked LOL. Tried to hide my laugh and in doing so in the strain, squeezed off another couple of raunchy wet ones.
People about 20 bodies down the line were grumbling about the stroller people needing to go change baby’s diaper. Man the poker face was in full effect. It was like a time tunnel for those saps way down there. They had to consume all the fart gases, it didnt have anywhere to go. 😂😂🤪

Originally Posted by slumlord

We were inside the Hoover Dam, touring the lower level where they keep Megatron. Anyway, the elevator going up had an issue. So about 50 of us had to go down this 1/2 mile long hallway to another small elevator. Only like 4 people could go at a time.
Hot as hell in there, no air circulating, long line people single file. People in front me had some baby strollers. I let a good one off.
Karen in front of me looked at her husband with a cold steel stare and said real low: “honey did you do that” I bout choked LOL. Tried to hide my laugh and in doing so in the strain, squeezed off another couple of raunchy wet ones.
People about 20 bodies down the line were grumbling about the stroller people needing to go change baby’s diaper. Man the poker face was in full effect. It was like a time tunnel for those saps way down there. They had to consume all the fart gases, it didnt have anywhere to go. 😂😂🤪

Okay slumlord, that's it...that's your quota.....you're way too much of a ringer to submit more episodes...

You're running away with this thing

Never trust a fart.

I ripped a massive sulfur bomb two nights ago. It’s was hilarious i had to call out to my sons for “help” just to share.