we have a lot of murders here in my fair city. Virtually all are committed by blacks. A local online newspaper always prints the jail bookings, and some of the names are hilarious. This is my favorite of the week

Always rubbing their paws together like flys.

Best name I ever came across was a fellow named:

Sputnik Eisenhower Watkins.

By the name you knew what was in the news, and who was president when he was born in 1957.

His friends called him Nik.

'Bunny' is a somewhat uncommon Navajo last name. Knew a guy name Harry Bunny back in the day.

There was a kid in our high school named Harry Beaver.

The girl who lived across the street from me when I was a kid was named Dot Connecht. I thought that was pretty good.

Had a friend in HR that used to send me interesting names.

Velvet Teat was the best one I got.

Sweet, she'd be a hero in some circles.

There was a fellow in our BLM office whose last name was Dick. He was joking around one day and said if he and his wife ever had a boy, they would name him Richard and he would encourage him to become a biologist specializing in ornithology and study dik-dik birds, whence he would become known as Dick Dick the dik-dik doctor.

A friends son took his mothers maiden name when he joined the police department. Name tag would have been Officer Dick.

A guy in high school named Otto Graf

La-A.....






Ladasha. I schitt thee not.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/3c932dc1-0165-4335-b018-4ae3141f07a4

Heard of a guy - not very bright - whose name was John Schitter. His collegues kept suggesting that he change his name.

He did - to Harold Schitter

There was an entomologist in the New England states during the sixties named B. A. Butt. His son became one too and signed off as B. A. Butt II. Finally, there was one in Florida named Dick Sprenkel.......the secretaries howled when tasked to send a package to Dick Sprenkel.

Regarding La-A, one of my wife's fellow teachers had such a student. When she asked the child's mother how the name was pronounced, the mother said "The dash don't be silent."

My wife had a student named Female. When she was born, the nurses put a name tag on the child's bed that said "Female, Jones", to indicate a female baby with the family name Jones, for identification purposes. The mother thought the nurses had named her. It stuck.


My best student name was Grisleydel.

I guess my question is why would a set of parents saddle a kid with a name that will affect them for life, or at least until the kid is old enough to change it? I know that it is illegal to discriminate, but you know darn well that people do. Say that you are a landlord and dozens of people call you. Are you going to dash off to show the place to Yolanda over say Judy or Sarah given that you don’t know any of them?

Parents that saddle their kids with a stupid name, should not be having kids, but…..

Because their parents are illiterate, drug infested, idiots. Jessie Jackson told them not to name their kids like white guys do it, so there you have it. When I was playing AA baseball one of our destinations was Jackson, MS. There was a dude in the phone book listed as [bleep] Jones, supposedly pronounced "shu-theeed".

Worthless all the way around.

This thread got me thinking of a guy I knew back in the 70's. Moved out of state and I haven't heard about him in decades now. Last name was, "Case" and he always said if he ever had a son he wanted to name him, " Justin". ...... Seriously. That would be interesting.

My parents had a neighbor in south Arkansas in the 70s that got her daughter’s name from the Sears & Roebuck catalog: Pajama pronounced Pay-juh-may

Kamont Diarrhea was name of subject in Newellton Louisiana!

There was a Iowa high school basketball player from the early 70s, whose name was Fonda Dix.
Her married name is Fonda Hopp.

Local kid got tagged with the name, Jammin Ted, at birth by his dad, and, yes, his dad was huge Ted Nugent fan and wannabe head banger rock guitarist himself, too. When his older aunts and close relatives spoke his name they tried to make it sound French -- sorta like, J'aum-an.

Dad used to talk about a couple of young Negro boys, brothers, in the little town he grew up in, everyone called, Sparkplug, and, Defferential...and yes, their dad was a local car mechanic.

What I've been seeing more and more of of late is Caucasian parent(s) giving their kids pretty much normal sounding names and generally pronounced as such but spelled all kinds of crazy ways.

My wife encountered a similar one.
La-Ra. When she asked the girl how to pronounce it, she said, “La dash Ra. The - don’t be silent” 😮

I looked through our’s to see if any stood out.

This one is not funny sounding BUT I would be remiss in my campfire duties to let a pair of Irish Sunglasses go unreported

😃😃

🤜👀🤛

Worked with a Velvet Lipps back in the day, but IIRC she married into that one.

A man name Ebeling here in Utah named his son and daughter Sam and Janet. His wife never clued in until he began introducing them in song (from the movie "South Pacific")

Was watching a football game once and a player on the field was named Estrus Johnson.

Flew with a young lady years ago whose name was Mayten. Since she was from the Philippines I asked her if it was a Tagalog name. Nope, she said...her parents ran out of names when she came along on May 10th....thus Mayten. Told her to be glad she wasn't born on Febuary 28th.

There was a girl one year ahead of me in high school who was named "Alvagloria Pigg."

L.W.

Nascar driver Dick Trickle

While looking at some rural property, I talked to a real estate agent named Ortrud Turdy.

My LA Detective friend brought in several different perps whose first name was: [bleep]. They kept pronouncing it: [bleep].,ead!

Can you imagine a mother naming their Ghetyo babe: [bleep]? I can!

Back in the old rotary dial phone days when I was a kid, we used to prank call the hell out of a guy in the phone book named Harry Bonar.

Orangejello, pernounced Or-on-ge-lo

True story, real first name.

I believe you, because I know a teacher that was writing down names on stickers to assign student desks before the school year started. 3rd grade I believe...she wrote down [bleep] and just sat there like wtf.... And like you said, kid pronounced it sha-teed.


Nurse I know has seen some funny ones come in

Lemonjello (lamonjello)
brother Orangejello (oronjello)
Emergency (m-r-gin-see)

Got a buddy whos last name is Pancake, said that is what they gave them when his ancestors came over at Ellis Island.

Worked with a young woman named Madison Roosevelt Taylor. She said her parents were history buffs.
She goes by Maddie.
I think that's actually pretty cool😎

I knew a guy in highschool named Richard Head...yes, he was called Dick.

Used to know identical twin brothers, Winston and Franklin. Their dad named them after his heroes of WW2, Winston Churchill and Franklin Roosevelt.

Both brothers had curly, copper-red hair.

Both turned out to be major H-e-l-l raisers extraordinaire.

Knew a girl in college, Sue Fitts.

I worked with twin brothers. Their names were Robert Head and Richard Head. Bob Head and Dick Head. Not kidding.

Twin girls: Alpha and Omega. Parents decided that they were the only kids that they would have.

Moe Lester

Sometimes they just don't stop and say the names. First name: Ava. MIddle name Gina.

One year on my way to NH. hunting, I stopped in Poughkeepsie, NY. Saw the name Purdy Outhouse in the phone book.
Quite a few listings with the last name Outhouse. Probably family. Also saw the same last name in a phone book in Yarmouth, NS while on a fishing trip.

Well if we’re gonna mention the phone book days

I remember a Chok Puk

A coworker at my old job was named Ray Gay.

He hated it too , but he wouldn't change it.

Mike

Sue, boys name.

Our pediatrician for a short while was named Adam Dick. One Sunday, my wife was getting a prescription filled for my daughter and the pharmacist came out and yelled "who's getting the prescription from Dr. Dick"! My wife said every woman in the pharmacy snapped their heads looking to see what it was.

Met a young lady whilst in the service. Her name tag on her BDU's read ShotWithTwoArrows.

True story!

I am guessing her hair was black and straight?

The last names of many NAs in Montana area English translations of an ancestor's name, hence Yellow Horse, Little Dog, etc. Two brothers convicted of murder are named Kills On Top. There is also a surname Comes At Night.

Is that better than TwoDogsFcuking?

Just asking

Penny’s maiden name was long, which prompted jokes like Penny Long and a dollar short!
My younger brother’s middle name is Drew. When he was born I was just learning to talk, and I pronounced it “Gue”. Dad and my older brother picked that up.
The only person to call him Lyle Drew was Mom. Everybody else, all my aunts & uncles, even his wife, call him Gue. His paychecks are made to Gue.
7mm

On the Blackfoot rez and in the Great Falls, MT area the name Scabby Robe is fairly common.

drover

Harry Bud Reefer. Real birth name.

People from whom I bought my first home smoked waaay too much weed. They named their son Catnip. No joke. Predictably, he was really [bleep] up in the head

Wife worked with a girl who’s married name was Igoe. Had a baby boy and named him Hugo. Young friend is a doctor. During ob-gyn rotation delivered twin boys. Mother craved orange and lemon jello throughout pregnancy. Named them oranjelo and lemonjelo. Delivered twin girls. One right before midnight. One right after. Named them todaya and tamara. True story

I went to tech school with a dude named Richard Schmuck. The instructor was calling attendance first day and called out “Richard Schmuck…Richard Schmuck” Thinking someone was playing a joke on him. Richard raised his hand and called out “here sir, but the girls call me Dick!” Ole Dick turned out to be one of the nicest, humblest, funniest human beings you ever wanted to meet. Spent 20+ years in the Air Force as a fire fighter. 20 years in- never, ever fought a fire. That was 36 years ago. hope he is still on the top side.

My mother told me a woman wanted to name her daughter placenta. The woman heard that word after delivery and thought it was sweet. Mom was an RN in the delivery room.

Alotta Fa-gina

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KYG7lDtZhMk

I have posted this before. My youngest had a classmate named Miami Dolphin.

I was 4 years old before I realized my name wasn't Imma Bustdatass.

Appendicitis Jones

One of my aunts was a 1st grade teacher in Chicago for her entire life... Mainly in the black areas of the city.. I will never forget the name of one of her students that she revealed to us at a holiday dinner:

Vomitice! I'm not joking either..

There is an attorney's office in Ashland Oregon...

Harry Skerry, Attorney at Law...

was actually a customer of mine....

I had a customer when I worked in Minneapolis, who had a private practice...

Harry Prickman... Jewish doctor of course.. a urologist

One day I was in his office on business, and his head nurse, asked me to come into a side office..

"Before you see the doctor, I would like to inform you that Dr Prickman has changed his last name, To Rickman... he has decided to drop the P.."

I couldn't help stiffling a laugh... she paused for a second... and then " I have to think of a better way of saying that, don't I?"

One of those Tunnel to Towers Commercials...that are playing on the TV last...

has the last name of Slutman...

actually an attractive woman....

yeah, sadly she has lost her husband, and is a single mother...

Takes a lot of toughness to go thru life with a last name of Slutman..especially for a woman...

I met a lady with the last name Barefoot. First name was Emma. This was while I was at a part time job where there was a lady named Ritter Leaptrot. When I told a friend about these folks he said there was a black kid in his high school last name of Rilla. Yep, first name Joe.

work with a guy named Richard Bone II.

Worked for Harry Bush.
His name was on our trucks, always had people asking if it was a joke.

Local lady was Anita Dick.

Knew a Lance Lance.

Had a classmate named Mike Burns. We gave him his middle name of Hawk or Hunt. He didn't like that. Can't remember what it actually was.

I work with a Ebony Cox. And yes, she is.

One of the high school cheer leaders in my class was named Rosemary Dick.

Local attorney's sigh on the door is Richard Blower.

Think about it! BTW Rosie was a real beauty and a great gal. I tried to locate her in later years, but nothing came up on the internet. Must have got Dick to legally change her name.

Real people, real names.

Michael Yancy Dick.
Three-In-One Green
Harry Toole
The grocery store HEB was named by Harry Butts
Pajama
Carnivorous
Kareem Abdul Jabar Deckard
Dolly Dimple Chivers

A guy in my class was named Harold Dick... of course we all called him Harry for short...

I once knew a patient (long dead) whose name was Harry (NOT Harold) Butts.

My buddy’s dad served in WWII with a guy under him whose name he couldn’t say in one breath without breaking up in laughter even up until the day he died at 96 a few years back the guy’s name was…Milo Harry Hole (I’m not positive on the spelling of the last name only the pronunciation).

Mom knew a Rose Petal.

I can’t remember all the crazy funny names and there were plenty but I can remember almost every young child’s name that I worked on….either SIDS, tortuous physical abuse leading to death, accidental trauma, MVAs, gunshots, poisoning, etc. I can see their faces every night I close my eyes and I can still here, as plain as day, their parent’s screams, sobs and bargaining with God to please not take their baby. I can and have lived with it but not a day goes by that I haven’t thought about them and they have always been in my heart and in my prayers.

Wife worked for a Dr. Hoar. (pronounced whore)

Dr Born delivered my youngest daughter....

Dr Butcher tended to me when I had mono in the eighth grade....

Wife knows of a gynecologist named Dr Feeley...


Slightly different....

Dr Simovitch was pediatrician to our two daughters............

one day the youngest came to my wife sniffling and clearly in a bad way and says '....mom, sniffle sniffle, I think we need to go see Dr Sumabitch....'

Urologist in my old town was Dr. U’ren.

True story-
NC has car inspections and inspection stations are subject to be checked by a state employee. Their job is to make sure the stations are actually doing the required inspection.
One day an inspector pulled into the local station posing as a car owner that needed his car inspected. When he pulled into the station the owners son (3 yrs old) ran to the car and said hello. The inspector said, you’re a cute little boy, what is your name and the little boy said,
“sh it head” .

Susan Screws, Phat Tang and Manh Tang are all in records of the clerk of court of Caddo Parish, Louisiana. No urban legend or my second cousin knew somebody story here.

Had an employee with the best porn name ever. Rocky Coxs.

[img] https://images.app.goo.gl/PK5Lojx9g3CEuzAJ7[/img]


Can't figure out how to post the pick for this unfortunately named business

Have a friend named Richard (Dick) Wood. He married a girl named Holly. Last I heard he was working special effects in the movie industry. Red Dawn was one movie he worked on.

Lots of good ones here:

https://www.cultureschlockonline.com/Articles/names.html

Bruce

"Hoar" is an English name that means "white", as in "hoar frost".
...and yes, I've known people who's surname was Hoar. Tough sob from the crap he got as a young man.
He became a valued, well respected member of the community.

Tammy Poole married Larry Toole and became Tammy Poole Toole.
Carey Cooper married Lance Hooper and became Carey Cooper Hooper.
Sara Garrison married Matt Harrison and became Sara Garrison Harrison.

New a physician - Dr Akes, and a dentist - Dr Paynes. Both had offices in the same building.
Harold Butt could be VERY insistent on the pronunciation of his name!
Younger brothers wanted us to name our son Hubert Rupert - uhhh NO.

On a tv commercial a year or so ago, I saw some woman of the negroid persuasion, who apparently was supposed to be "somebody", and her name was "Aunjanue".

Real names I've seen around my area...

Dick Sweet
Anita Ball
Ima Hogg
Peter Sweat

Real names of real people....with mean or clueless parents!

A guy in my home towns name was Richard Haire. They called him Dick.
I rented a office to a guy named Richard Small. His business partner called him Dick as well.
In both cases I would have stuck with Rich or Richard.

I remember a rather oversize black woman on a "Cubii" commercial (a sit down pedaling "exercise" machine) from a couple of years ago named "Phongenia".

Friend in school
Zacharia Americia Agustus Ruckle

I'd whip my momma's ass.

In high in the sixties i and a friend of mine who’s name was Fred VanDussen we called Him VD. We often told him that he should form a rock group that would be known as V. D. And the Carriers!

My sister once working as a gynecologist after helping delivering a baby asked the mother about the name to fill in the birth certificate: Ava Bronx Missouri. But that was in Germany not in the US.
Another time, another mother. How would she like to call the babyboy. "Üffes" was the answer. (Ü should pronounced like "phew" but without "ph") Ah, Üffes, my sister replied. But please would you spell this. And the young mother did: Y-V-E-S.

What about? Friedchickenesha