Coffee makes me poop.

(Not posted from the toilet)

Insert Picture of Ralphie from the Simpsons.

Wingstop Louisiana dry rub wings and a glass of scotch make my burps taste and smell like a dead skunk. Fills up (and clears out) a room quick.

I would bet that somewhere in the old testament posting a thread like this on the lords day is a no'-no.....

This will get ugly.

I shot a 270. Once. And own a soulless 6.5 manbun

When I'm alone, sometimes I dance...

Went to McDonalds so I could take a dump.
Was in such a hurry, and I didn’t check to see if there was any TP.
There wasn’t.
Dealt with it.
Luckily, there was no one around.

I don't carry a roll of paper towels in the tractors to clean the windshields.

When it's time, it's time... No if's and's or butts.

Aahhh...the old 30 second warning: you will be defecating shortly, no matter where you are...the clock is ticking!

Damn near crapped myself when I had a inroute biological imperative and the McDonalds was closed. Stood there and tried to Zen my colon into compliance for several minutes but it wasn't having it. Spotted a coffee shop that I hoped was open. Did a pinch cheeked waddle across the parking lot to it and they had mercy on me.

I'm not telling, It's Sunday.

Getting ready for church.

Three Mile Island did not poop. Work in your abbreviation uses.

It certainly shit the bed.

Was working a refuel at Clinton Generating Station a while back. Had been staying in a hindu hilton in Decatur. Had laid out of work the day before because of stomach issues, but got up the next morning determined to work.

Halfways from Decatur to Clinton I realized there was an issue, and I was looking for a place to pull over and deal with it. They'd been building a new Caseys General Store in one of the whistle stop burgs along old 51, and lo and behold the lights were on and the banners were flying. The place was open for it's first business day!

I reckon I about closed them.

Skeen...

Dude.....

Yesterday I bum rushed a black child’s birthday party at Holiday Inn to use the lobby crapper. “Tiana” was non the wiser.


I wasn’t even staying at the hotel. I am an IHG Member though.

When traveling on the interstate, I always poop there or Hampton Inn. Hell with a nasty Hardees or McDonalds, any other groid-centric staff employed business.

What's IHG? I Have to Go?

I "inherited" some nylon briefs with my remote cabin from it's former owner- an Air Force guy. Maybe he was a flyer, I dunno.

I saved those for backpacking and hunting, as they don't chafe as does cotton.

When my 2 year old son saw me putting those on some years later, he started yelling "No, Dad, No. Mom's!"

I thought it was kinda cute.

As for the Fecal Imperative, I'm there. Danged old age! At least I'm pretty regular- sometime between 9 and 10 in the morning. I try to arrange my affairs to accommodate the quick step.

I used to be able to tell when I was done peeing, too. A visual check is now mandatory. Never put the hose away with the water still running!

That's fugging awesome!

When I was a much younger man, I was hanging out at my local watering hole with a buddy, when an acquaintance of ours showed up. "Isaac", while a member of our social group, was what I would call a regular, more of an intermittent socializer. The three of us were standing at the bar, right in front of the waitress station. You've all seen them - the spot with a arm rail to separate the service area from the patrons, steel bin for emptying ashtrays, etc. Well, we were in the depths of a conversation about the band that was playing that weekend, and Isaac was going on about the various minutia that music fans discuss, when all of a sudden he stops. "Excuse me", he says, and proceeds to turn to the waitress station, leans over the stainless cigarette bin and pukes in it. He then wipes his mouth with a napkin, deposits it in said bin, and returns to the conversation as though nothing had happened and it was all a natural occurrence....

Kaiser Norton

Intercontinental Hotel Group, hotels and resorts. Travel rewards, airline miles, etc etc.
earn nights at hotels just for using their affiliated credit cards.

Pay my monthly expenses, bills I have to pay anyway and earn about 10 free nights a year.

Multiple accounts, I have my dad paying his monthly online bills tied to accounts in the IHG system. He’s always buying something, he gives me his hotel points.

We never pay for a hotel anymore.


Have a deal set up like that through Hilton Rewards too.

Coffee is good. But Thai street food and nicotine is hard to contend with. Been a long morning