I'm hoping some one here might have experience or knowledge of the way to ban someone from your property.
My wifes Grandson is a dirtbag.
He had been staying with us, but that was getting difficult for her and I. Currently he is jailed on a FTA charge.
When he is released, he expects to come back here. That ain't happening.
How can we ban him from the property?
I know about Order of Protection but I worry that might be difficult to obtain?
Is there any other way to keep him away?

Got a shotgun?

Several. My coach gun is probably the most intimating but my Rock Island M5 is no slouch either.

Criminal trespass

No trespassing signs and a registered letter to him letting him know if he steps foot past the signs the Popo will be called?

FTA ?

Failure to appear.

Tell him he's not allowed on the property. When it disregards you, call the police and identify him as a trespasser.

Failure To Appear.

That's what I would do. Or get someone to serve him. In jail would be the best.

Talk with local LEO or County attorney regarding a trespass order. We are going thru this with our church security planning. In KY, until they have been warned once, they can not be arrested for trespass. If they show up after they have been warned, they can be immediately arrested. Since you know where he is at the moment, should not be difficult to have him served.

#1 - make it known to local LEO he is not welcome
#2 - when and if he shows up, file charges
#3 - obtain a restraining order
#4 - lastly and most importantly, refer to "gregintenn" instructions

A restraining order is a useless piece of paper, but is required by law.

re gregintenn: it does not have to be a shotgun, but those are most effective in stressful situations! 😉

"Failure To Appear"- - - - -skipped a court date. Get a couple of linebacker type friends to help you give him a private attitude adjustment, with a warning that it will be repeated every time he comes anywhere near you. Nothing like a little "Come to Jesus" session to get his attention, much better than a legal document he's probably going to ignore anyway.

This should be step 1.^

Step 2 should be check with local PD to see if they also require a letter to be sent to the PD, authorizing them to remove trespassers from your property. Some PD's will not remove individuals from private property if they do not have that letter on file. Why? I have no idea.

Step 3. FAFO.

Also, this advice is what I would give someone in my locality. It does not apply to anyone outside of my locality. I would advise you seek professional legal assistance, I am not a lawyer and do not take responsibility for anyone's actions based on what I have stated here.

Pain is a wonderful deterrent.

First,

Stop asking for legal advice from random strangers on the internet.

If you do something based on such advice, you may be the one ending up in front of a judge facing criminal charges of your own, and what is your defense going to be? "Some guys on the internet said grab a shotgun" or do ABC? How much of that do you think will fly in the eyes of the legal system?

Every state has its own laws, and within counties and jurisdictions you may have different procedures.

Call the county or city in which you reside and ask to speak with a police officer or civilian service officer, explain your situation and go from there. If you don't get resolution, go to the county and ask to speak in person with a victim witness coordinator ,etc.

Are you physically afraid of your grandson as he is much younger and stronger, and you have concerns for your safety and your wife's safety? Are you physically being intimidated by this person? Has he taken money and not paid it back? Has he stolen items? Exploitation of the elderly is frowned upon very heavily by the courts.

Don't pull the tough guy typical campfire BS.



You will get further going in a different direction. But don't take legal advice from strangers. Go get actual advice and services from agencies in the jurisdiction where you live. The courts generally tend to protect the elderly and have numerous agencies and advocates within agencies that deal directly with this sort of thing.

Use them to your advantage.

Follow Mackay Sagebrush advice. I would have a means of protection at all times near me.

1st .... is he a minor that has been a 'Resident' with you?

If YES, it's likely a lot different than if he is an adult staying temporarily....

Ask for a restraining order...............

It doesn't stop anyone, but it does take 'Trespass' to a new level.............

Helps alleviate any ambiguity....

Ask an attorney....

Failure to Appear

Dirtbags dont understand pain, and do not know what no means. The fact that he has been staying there could be a big problem. Good luck to yall and I hope it works out. I have been through it with my brother, but it is worth it in the end.

Mackay Sagebrush speaks with wisdom!

L.W.

Yes to all.
He is 27. I am 69.
Borrowed money from all kinds of relatives. Never paid anyone back.
Stolen all manners of stuff. Including some guns from his stepfather.

The notification is important.

You can have the sheriff office deliver, that will cost you a small sum.

See if you can add a letter letting him know where he can pick up his person items. I would suggest they be delivered to his parents.

Since he is or has been living with you, I suggest that you have all his personal items boxed, that way he can pick them up when he is out of jail. Make a detail list and have it on each box. Some states require an eviction notice, and that makes it difficult to remove him quickly. All he would have to say is that he does odd jobs around your place for room and board and that would make eviction more difficult.

Have this all accomplished before he is released from jail.

If he has a key to your home, I suggest that you change the locks or have them rekeyed.

To clarify, I am not looking for any actual legal advice to act on, I am simply gathering info. The advice from such a large group as this I consider valuable.
Whether or not I take the advice is another matter.

Knuckle sandwich?

First thing I'd do is visit him in the jail. Tell him that it's time he went out in the world and worked his problems out. Not knowing the situation or any of his other resources I can't opine any further than that. Probably should help get him into some housing of his own and tell him that's it. He is going to have to grow up. He's going to have to have a job and housing in order to make it. other than that, he's just another homeless nitwit running around looking for trouble. Sorry for your troubles. So if he is her grandson what about his actual parents?

Depending on your state and local laws a formal notice of eviction might be worth a try first.


How to Kick Someone Out of Your House: Evicting a Family Member With No Lease

No matter what direction you take, the family will think you are the one that is being unreasonable.

If the grand son has stolen before from family and friends, he will do so again. He knows that you will not file a complaint with the police. The grand son probably has your home cased and know where the good jewelry is and if you have any money stashed in the home. Anything that he can turn into money in a quick process. Again, he knows that you will not report the lost items to the police. And you will not be able to report the loss to your insurance company.

If he has not been physical before I may start at any time, when you decide to not give (you call it loan) him some money to go out and about. Any time you loan a family member some money, you really would consider it a gift. If it was a loan you would have a signed document detailing the loan amount and payment features. The asking of money starts with a small amount and increases over time, they have learned that you are an easy mark. I learned to not cary any cash and only credit cards. That stopped the asking.

So when the grand son returns to your home, and he will what will be the deciding factor to have him removed? You have to ask your self that question. You or your wife in the ER for treatment, the jewelry box cleaned out, what is your point that you will say enough is enough.

I watched family heirlooms and all the jewelry taken, my mother in the ER for treatment, a broken hip and still she would not let me report it and she would not report it.

So what is your tipping point. Sounds like you do not have one.

You don't need signs, that's silly. Like someone said tell him he is not welcome on your property and you will call LE if he shows up.

Let him now he is not welcomed and plan a two week get away when he is released.
Make sure the house is locked when you are gone.

Solid

'...My wifes Grandson is a dirtbag...'

Is she WITH you on this????

Your county sheriff’s office is the best place to start. In most areas, they are the agency that enforces this stuff and they know the best course of action to take under local circumstances vs what state law spells out. Also, the county sheriff is answerable to the voters and is more likely to want to be a level of protection between reliable voters in their 60’s and 40 some year old scumbags. Call your local Sheriff’s office and proceed from there.

Pack up his belongings, rent a storage locker for one month, put his stuff there and give him the combination. Be sure you explain to the storage manager what you are doing, and that the rental is for one month only.

In our state, there are two levels of restraining orders. The first level is civil. That is what people ordinarily get. A two week order is almost automatically granted. It can then be extended or made permanent. Violation is a misdemeanor. The next level is a criminal order. That can be granted after the civil order is violated. Violation of that is a felony. I don't know how things are in your state, but maybe that will give you some ideas.

Also in our state, violation of an order issued for the protection of family constitutes domestic violence. That qualifies for the criminal level order.

My suggestion is you contact your city/county attorney and ask for a two week order, starting at his release. Your local LEO will serve him the order. Write a letter, certified mail, return receipt requested. Explain that you love him and want to see him succeed in life, but the choices he has made make it impossible for you to allow him to continue living with you. Explain where he can pick up his stuff, and explicitly state that he is now trespassed from your property. Make sure the letter gets there before the order is served.

Most jurisdictions try very hard to not send someone to jail. It's an expensive solution that does not work very well.

Unfortunately, your wife’s grandson may have tenancy rights, as was mentioned by at least one poster above, when they said an eviction may be required. So, don’t just pack up their belongings and put it in a storage unit with just a month paid for. Do as McS says, and talk to local LE about your options, but be prepared to have to go through the eviction process. Assuming that the GS manages to play nice. If he doesn’t, well then all bets are off.

This.

Chances are pretty good that if he's currently getting free room and board from the local government, he's got enough of a history with the legal system that there won't me much official reluctance to trespass him from your home.

What was the FTA for??? How long is he gonna be locked up for??? Check with the local LE, maybe even the DAs office. As has been pointed out, laws vary and even if he had tenancy rights, he may be out of luck if he’s been gone for a while… good luck.

If that doesn’t work, take him fishing…

...if all this bs fails, just call Rip..😉

Sounds like the little schitbyrd has been enabled his whole life by relatives.
Why ain't he staying with his mommy or daddy???
Enablers are a big part of the problem with D bags like this.
The enabling just keeps going on and on like the Energizer bunny.



Just take out a restraining order via your local legal means on his azz.
Then deal with the bullschit if it happens.

You said wifes grandson.
So he is not your bio grandson I'm taking from that???

Maybe his grammy oughta look inside herself a little and take some action and responsibility also for schit she might have cultivated over the years with her grandson...

Or is she letting you assume the bad guy role in all of this.


Not saying any of this to be mean spirited.

Just base it all from your post and speculating their is alot more that has created this situation than what has been said with him expecting to come live with his grandmother again.

Go talk to the chief/sheriff and tell him what's going on and that he can't live in your house anymore. He will help you. (I can't believe I just typed that)

In my career as a police officer, I responded to many similar situations. I’m not sure what the law says where you live Uncle Alva, but I can tell you what happens in Virginia and guess that it’s probably similar where you are.

The number one question is whether or not he established a residence at your address? Did he receive mail there or pay anything toward rent, etc? How long was he there? Those things establish residency. If he was a resident, he has certain rights. You can’t just change the locks and keep him out and you can’t legally remove his belongings. What you can do is have him evicted. It’s a civil process and the Sheriff is responsible for that.

In Virginia, under most circumstances the process takes about 30 days. The first step is legal notice. I’m confident that your local Sheriff has a packet of information that they will provide you with, that explains your rights, his rights and what steps you need to take to evict him.

If he hasn’t established residency, it’s much easier. You simply tell him, with witnesses, or in a certified letter, that he is not welcome in your home and not to return. That’s considered legal notice, if he disregards that he’s a trespasser and can be arrested as such.

First, I would say you don't need to be a total jerk or a-hole to him about the situation.

I would go visit him in Jail and put 20-30 bucks in his canteen as a good gesture. And then ask him where he wants his stuff... because he can't come back to Grand Ma's house... Be respectful and show some sympathy toward his situation and that you can be open to helping him with reasonable needs while he is locked up. But once he gets out. He is on his own, and you are not to be bothered after he gets out.

Even so, when he gets out.... he will be back for more freeloading. I would move my mail box to a po box for a while and change all the locks. All the window at ground level deck screwed shut and motion lights front and back. Get a dog, no better early warning device than a dog.

With that said, keep in mind.... that you always read in the paper, how, "the body was found in a shallow grave..." So, when you get home. find a nice spot in the back and dig a deep hole. You need at least 4 feet or more. Another helpful hint that has worked for me in the past, when you dig out the top soil, put it in a pile by it's self on a tarp next to the hole, then place the subsoil on a different tarp on the other side of the hole. That way the soil goes back in the order it came in and the grass and leaf debris are undisturbed... except where the digging was done. This makes it a lot easier to conceal the place of disposal.. Cover the hole with a piece of plywood until you need to fill the hole back in.

If the day comes, that you have to fill the hole back in.... never, never say a word about it. Never.

As far as his parents go, his Momma died of cancer very young. He was 8. Dad didn't want him.
My wife and her late husband essentially raised him. Did not do a very good job of it. Her husband was a push-over to state it mildly.
I could go on and on about this kid, but its pointless. A few years back he had me so angry I was literally chasing him around the driveway to kick his ass. Even then he probably could have whipped me but he's a coward to the core. It takes a lot to get my Irish up, but he can do it mighty quickly.
My wife has a bond on him that kept him out of jail for awhile, until he had to appear for failing to appear. 17 tickets for driving without a license. Judge sentenced him to 10 days. Thats not a typo.
Tomorrow my wife and I are going to withdraw the bond on him. He has warrants in another county. Without the bond we understand, per the Court Clerk that he will automatically be transferred to the jail in that county. We were told that they would hold him until his first appearance there which is in November.
My wife fully realizes her enablement of this guy and appears to have reached her breaking point. I sure hope so.
He has a bad temper and I have little doubt that at some point this will turn ugly. So be it. I may be old and essentially disabled, but underestimating me is a big mistake.

I do want to say to everyone that has replied that I genuinely appreciate your advice.

4 pound sledge to the base of the skull? LOL

Many towns have some sort of half way house for ex cons getting out. Of course if he doesn't want to go straight, they'd be very unlikely to take him. Their job is to help those who want to be helped.

He is on his own file with the da

You need to be prepared to defend your home. People like that aren't only a danger to themselves, and often turn on the family that gives them tough love. Lay the law down and stick to it. Report him to the police so you can get a report filed in case of the worse scenario. A protection order will cover you in that event.

I do know from my daughter's experience that in this state, if you have a protective order that bars him from your house, he can't come back there, tenancy or no tenancy. If he has issued threats or has raised a hand to strike either of you, the order is a snap. If he has done drugs in your house, I imagine that would also be a snap.

As mikieb says, visit him, put a few bucks in his canteen. Be kind, but be clear.

If he violates either the no tresspass or the protective order, file a report on each incident. The documentation is super important.

I believe I've seen that you are in the New Bern, NC area; you no doubt remember the grandparents who were murdered by their own grandson a year or two back, right there in Craven County. I knew that young man, his parents, and the grandparents he murdered with their own gun(s) while trying to get drug money from them. Don't let that happen to you; it sounds like you have the right attitude toward this wayward grandson. I hope that drugs are not part of his problem, if so that makes him all the more dangerous. Good luck.

First thing that you have to do is make sure that you and your wife are both on the same page and can present a unified front to the guy. What has worked well for me as a landlord is to first meet with the person/people and let them know that it isn't going to work for them continuing to live there. Not confrontational, just adults addressing an issue head on. An eviction is an interminable hassle and little more than a hundred bucks for the city. I tell them that they don't want that on their record, but that they know that I will do that if they don't leave voluntarily. Since he is a relative, I'd explore some options for housing for the guy and maybe employment opportunities and tell him that it is time to be an adult. Do not let him back into the house and you keep a low profile when he is out. He will likely do one of three things. Man up, go back to jail or off himself when he can't cope.

Uncle Alvah, my advice is to proceed with caution and close this thread. Mackay Sagebrush offered solid advice and you would be wise to heed it. Make sure your family avoids any potential danger or harm.

this

Id go to local police or sherif's office first. Ask to speak to duty officer. as stated laws vary by county, city, state etc.

Document any prior threats, violent behavior, drug use etc

Absolutely second what Mackay said. In my neck of the woods a restraining order would prevent him from trespassing on your property and your place of employment but more importantly, would also prohibit him coming within a certain distance of you/your wife where ever you may be. It is also the device that legally severs that family connection - if he is served with it, it removes any excuse he can come up, if he should choose to confront you or trespass.

Another classic.....
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

He is in jail and go tell him yourself. Take everything he owns and ask him where he wants it dumped. You might even get a you-store-it for him and dump it in there then go back to the jail and give him the one and only key with the understanding there is absolutely NO reason to ever come back to your house. Now is not the time to be wishy washy. Which grandparents seem to want to do.

kwg

No. It's a bad idea.

He'll just break in and pawn all his guns before he gets back.

New dumb law in IL beginning in next Jan forbids police from removing a trespasser unless he is a danger.
SAFE-T act. No cash bail, lots of felonies non bail (walk out) including ag assault, 2 deg murder, etc