... announced that they won't be making them any longer.

Hahahahaha!

You're on a roll posting those memes from Facebook, aren't you...

*groan*

My wife provides them.

Sure they will. They're upgrading to meter sticks.

That's enough, dad.

Thats nothin, have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? Theyre really making headlines.

My idea of dad jokes is a bit different than the norm i guess. Dad jokes got me in trouble at school etc.
When i was in elementary school the principals name was joe benetti. Full on italian. Every year the school would have spaghetti with benetti. Being maybe 7 years old, with no concept of racial slurs, the old man told me to ask the principal... "hey joe, whats a flat tire say? WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP."

Had no idea what it meant, but damn it i did it because my dad seemed to think it would be funny for some reason i didnt understand.

Is that a rule, or policy?

But, will they be making them wider?

Do you know why princess Diana divorced prince Charles?


She thought a ruler had 12 inches.

LOL! I love a good dad joke.

A shoestring knot walks into a fancy bar and the bartender says “excuse me sir are you a knot?” The knot says why yes, yes I am. Bartender says we don’t serve knots here. Please leave!

Next day the exact same thing.

Day three the knot scruffs himself all up on the pavement until he’s frayed up. He walks back in and the bartender says “excuse me sir but aren’t you a knot?”

The shoestring says why no, I’m afraid not!

With a half gallon of ice cream being 48 ounces now. And a 3 pound can of coffee being 2 1/2............. It's a wonder they don't start making yardsticks 33 1/2 inches now.

When driving past a cemetery I asked my daughter how many dead people were in there. She looked at me and said "dad joke", all of them! Hard to out smart a teenager sometimes.

A plane has crashed in a cemetery in WV. So far, local authorities have recovered 2000 bodies…..

That's nothing. In New York, a busload of 96 attorneys plunged off the Brooklyn Bridge.

The mayor called it an unfathomable tragedy.

Because there were four empty seats.......