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Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Disaster relief - 09/27/22
So how much fed tax money will be spent this year rebuilding and coddling stupid fûcks that live on the coast in a hurricane zone?

Not a hundred year flood where a river rises to unforeseen levels. Not a forest fire that went off the rails due to mismanagement. Not a random act of God.

How much will be sent to PR? How will they manage to squander, steal, and waste it this time?
Posted By: Joel/AK Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
Probably alot and I'm sure they will send them the last little bit of baby formula we have left also.
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
Probably less than usual. I kinda feel sorry for DeSantas. Getting any kind of hurricane ain't gonna be easy on him. It's kinda like adopting a Haitian kid.
Posted By: Joel/AK Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
At least most Floridians have insurance. Still gonna cost but atleast it's America. PR will squander the money we send them. Hell, the place hasn't really recovered frome the last hurricane we gave them billions for.
Posted By: SamOlson Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
Hurricanes aside I want some grasshopper disaster money!
Posted By: jackmountain Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
They’ll punish Florida to make Desantis look bad.
They’ll use federal money on a “social credit” system.
PR will get all they want, probably statehood soon after too.
Posted By: jackmountain Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
Buddy just closed on 2 houses in The Villages in the last month. One primary and one for a rental I believe. He’s sweating bullets right now.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/27/22
The phones here have lit up with a tornado warning at least five fugking times tonight.

Gotta keep everyone scared to death.

I just wanna watch Road House.
Posted By: mtnsnake Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
While they are handing out relief money, I need some for being white.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
The amount of meltdown and victim reward... that will occur over the next two-three weeks will be unprecedented.

DeSantis should charter EVER PLANE IN FLORIDA... and send anyone (and everyone) to Martha's Vinyard et al immediately.

For safety... of course.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
I am sure Kingston, Massachusetts could take 200k-300k easy...
Posted By: smokepole Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by mtnsnake
While they are handing out relief money, I need some for being white.

Look dude, everybody knows you're not white so knock it off eh?
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by CashisKing
The amount of meltdown and victim reward... that will occur over the next two-three weeks will be unprecedented.

DeSantis should charter EVER PLANE IN FLORIDA... and send anyone (and everyone) to Martha's Vinyard et al immediately.

For safety... of course.

No reason to charter. He has the National Guard (including Air Force) at his disposal right now.
Posted By: SBTCO Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Run, Travis! Run!




.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Originally Posted by CashisKing
The amount of meltdown and victim reward... that will occur over the next two-three weeks will be unprecedented.

DeSantis should charter EVER PLANE IN FLORIDA... and send anyone (and everyone) to Martha's Vinyard et al immediately.

For safety... of course.

No reason to charter. He has the National Guard (including Air Force) at his disposal right now.

Powell...

You are far too stupid to play this game...

Go eat a hotpocket... or something.

7-11 has roller grill burritos from 7am yesterday... that is a GREAT ALTERNATIVE... if a hotpocket is too complicated.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by CashisKing
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Originally Posted by CashisKing
The amount of meltdown and victim reward... that will occur over the next two-three weeks will be unprecedented.

DeSantis should charter EVER PLANE IN FLORIDA... and send anyone (and everyone) to Martha's Vinyard et al immediately.

For safety... of course.

No reason to charter. He has the National Guard (including Air Force) at his disposal right now.

Powell...

You are far too stupid to play this game...

Go eat a hotpocket... or something.

7-11 has roller grill burritos from 7am yesterday... that is a GREAT ALTERNATIVE... if a hotpocket is too complicated.

LOL
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
FEMA money is a fickle thing.

You can only qualify for repair/replacement if it's your primary residence.

If you're insured, you don't get none.

If you're a dead beat renter, they shovel it to you so you can become a dead beat home owner.

If you're already a dead beat home owner and have zero insurance on your primary swamp located home, FEMA brings you crisp hard cash by the truckload typically within 3 to 5 days after the related storm.

Don't ask me why I know this.

I've seen single wide 12x70 mobile homes magically turn into 3500sf sprawling waterfront estates after FEMA gets done fixin' them up.

They need to start naming hurricanes more appropriately.
Names such as Bingo, Jackpot or Yahoo would be more fitting.
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
FEMA money is a fickle thing.

You can only qualify for repair/replacement if it's your primary residence.

If you're insured, you don't get none.

If you're a dead beat renter, they shovel it to you so you can become a dead beat home owner.

If you're already a dead beat home owner and have zero insurance on your primary swamp located home, FEMA brings you crisp hard cash by the truckload typically within 3 to 5 days after the related storm.

Don't ask me why I know this.

I've seen single wide 12x70 mobile homes magically turn into 3500sf sprawling waterfront estates after FEMA gets done fixin' them up.

The need to start naming hurricanes more appropriately.
Names such as Bingo, Jackpot or Yahoo would be more fitting.

Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.
Posted By: slumlord Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Gas station eggrolls !!
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.

And it cost $30K a year, that's why nobody has it.
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.

And it cost $30K a year, that's why nobody has it.

It depends on where you are and what you're insuring, but I'd have flood insurance if I lived on top of Mt Everest.
Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
So, are we agreed that the rest of us shouldn’t pay out to rebuild houses etc for folks that knowingly live in hurricane zones?
Posted By: Jim_Conrad Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
So, are we agreed that the rest of us shouldn’t pay out to rebuild houses etc for folks that knowingly live in hurricane zones?


Yeah, but if we didn't pay them to live in stupid areas......they might come north and fugg things up for us.


I say pay them to stay away.
Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by Jim_Conrad
Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
So, are we agreed that the rest of us shouldn’t pay out to rebuild houses etc for folks that knowingly live in hurricane zones?


Yeah, but if we didn't pay them to live in stupid areas......they might come north and fugg things up for us.


I say pay them to stay away.

Part of me agrees with that. Legit
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by SamOlson
Hurricanes aside I want some grasshopper disaster money!

Bummer, you guys need to have ya a Hurricane, or start calling FEMA to come take care of them hoppers.


Hi-Line Grasshopper Forecast Not Promising for 2022

Another problem this year is that USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) does not have any money available for cost sharing for rangeland treatment in the western U.S. Last year.

"It was pretty short for the amount of grasshoppers we had last year … That wasn’t going to be enough and it clearly wasn’t. And it is an undertaking to try and get that many planes contracted and all the paperwork done so that growers can get some help or relief spraying rangeland. That’s what that program is. It’s only rangeland. So state rangelands, BLM rangelands, and private rangelands. It does nothing for crops. For crops, there are insecticides that producers can look towards to try to mitigate the impacts of grasshoppers.”


https://hilinetoday.com/hi-line-grasshopper-forecast-not-promising-for-2022/
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by SamOlson
Hurricanes aside I want some grasshopper disaster money!

Bummer, you guys need to have ya a Hurricane, or start calling FEMA to come take care of them hoppers.


Hi-Line Grasshopper Forecast Not Promising for 2022

Another problem this year is that USDA Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service (APHIS) does not have any money available for cost sharing for rangeland treatment in the western U.S. Last year.

"It was pretty short for the amount of grasshoppers we had last year … That wasn’t going to be enough and it clearly wasn’t. And it is an undertaking to try and get that many planes contracted and all the paperwork done so that growers can get some help or relief spraying rangeland. That’s what that program is. It’s only rangeland. So state rangelands, BLM rangelands, and private rangelands. It does nothing for crops. For crops, there are insecticides that producers can look towards to try to mitigate the impacts of grasshoppers.”


https://hilinetoday.com/hi-line-grasshopper-forecast-not-promising-for-2022/

Just sell a couple of thousand acres to pay for it.

Oh wait...
Posted By: alwaysoutdoors Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.

And it cost $30K a year, that's why nobody has it.

It depends on where you are and what you're insuring, but I'd have flood insurance if I lived on top of Mt Everest.
#Moron
Posted By: jackmountain Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Better than rebuilding infrastructure in third world scheit holes after we spent billions bombing the scheit out of it.
Billions to Ukraine, billions paying off student loans, billions in welfare, trillions in the war on drugs, billions on climate change. 31 Trillion in debt, what the fugk does it even matter at this point. I say print, print, print. Grab every dollar the Fugkin idiots are willing to give you while you can.

Posted By: jackmountain Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.

And it cost $30K a year, that's why nobody has it.

It depends on where you are and what you're insuring, but I'd have flood insurance if I lived on top of Mt Everest.
#Moron

#sellingsnowtoeskimos
Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by jackmountain
Better than rebuilding infrastructure in third world scheit holes after we spent billions bombing the scheit out of it.
Billions to Ukraine, billions paying off student loans, billions in welfare, trillions in the war on drugs, billions on climate change. 31 Trillion in debt, what the fugk does it even matter at this point. I say print, print, print. Grab every dollar the Fugkin idiots are willing to give you while you can.



All foreign aid should be stopped.

That’s a separate question from whether money taken at gu point should be used to rebuild for idiots that live in hurricane alley.
Posted By: efw Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
I think you mean “how much will be squandered IN THE NAME OF ______relief?”

At this point it’s all just a scam to get D constituents and clients money and continue the grift.
Posted By: ltppowell Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by jackmountain
Originally Posted by alwaysoutdoors
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by ltppowell
Right? And flood insurance ain't what people think it is.

Nothing is "replaced". It's all depreciated.

And it cost $30K a year, that's why nobody has it.

It depends on where you are and what you're insuring, but I'd have flood insurance if I lived on top of Mt Everest.
#Moron

#sellingsnowtoeskimos

Lol...see how many times you hear "But this has never happened to us before." in the next few weeks.

Five hurricanes in 15 years teach you a lot.
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Why is it that this part sounds like some overpaid Federal douchebag saying 'I'm too lazy to do my job'?

it is an undertaking to try and get that many planes contracted and all the paperwork done so that growers can get some help or relief spraying rangeland.
Posted By: renegade50 Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Remember all those 5k prepaid they handed after Katrina..

That was a bunch of bullschit nationwide....
Posted By: renegade50 Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Wonder if this POS is still alive and on the taxpayers nickel still.

[Linked Image from i.postimg.cc]
Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by renegade50
Remember all those 5k prepaid they handed after Katrina..

That was a bunch of bullschit nationwide....

As is is every hurricane.

I know tropical climes breed hard people, but you’d think the rest of the country would say “nah, you knowingly moved there. Own it”

But that doesn’t play well on the news lol
Posted By: Magnum_Bob Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
When is the rest of us gonna get disaster relief from the gov't for letting biden fikup the whole country?
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by renegade50
Remember all those 5k prepaid they handed after Katrina..

That was a bunch of bullschit nationwide....

5 grand?

We're not even on the same planet here.

Yesterday I sat and listened to a guy bitching because FEMA capped him at $300K after Hurricane Hermine in 2016 put 8 inches of water in his double wide.
Posted By: MontanaMan Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by jackmountain
They’ll punish Florida to make Desantis look bad.
They’ll use federal money on a “social credit” system.
PR will get all they want, probably statehood soon after too.

Yep, a virtual certainty.................as for The Villages, probably far enough inland to be spared the brunt of the storm, at least I hope so, as my son is in Gainesville, so I'm hoping for the best for his family there.

The CEO of my company is in Ruskin on the SE side of Tampa bay & he says he's staying put, so I hope for the best for him too.

MM
Posted By: mtnsnake Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Biden ordered the hurricane to punish Florida. He do not like MAGA.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by mtnsnake
Biden ordered the hurricane to punish Florida. He do not like MAGA.

You mean Ian is MAGA?

Well damn... I gets it now.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Hey Gruff,

If your house burns down in a forest fire would you accept a big fat paycheck from Uncle Sam?
Posted By: BillyGoatGruff Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by deflave
Hey Gruff,

If your house burns down in a forest fire would you accept a big fat paycheck from Uncle Sam?

Hey Clarke,

You’re Florida strong. Keep the faith.
Posted By: Birdwatcher Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by SamOlson
Hurricanes aside I want some grasshopper disaster money!

You deserve it.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
Originally Posted by deflave
Hey Gruff,

If your house burns down in a forest fire would you accept a big fat paycheck from Uncle Sam?

Hey Clarke,

You’re Florida strong. Keep the faith.

I’ll take that as a firm “yes.”

LOL
Posted By: Birdwatcher Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by jackmountain
Buddy just closed on 2 houses in The Villages in the last month. One primary and one for a rental I believe. He’s sweating bullets right now.


My brother and his wife were ABOUT to close on a house twenty miles inland from Port Charlotte, and they ARE closing on their house and property in NY State.

No worries, during the transition process they have been renting a place in Port Charlotte.
Posted By: Geno67 Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
So - according to BillyGoatGruff, people who are born and raised on the coast should move inland at least 100 miles to assuage his ego?

What a sad world he lives in.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by Birdwatcher
My brother and his wife were ABOUT to close on a house twenty miles inland from Port Charlotte, and they ARE closing on their house and property in NY State.

I had no idea people from New York... moved to Florida.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by Geno67
So - according to BillyGoatGruff, people who are born and raised on the coast should move inland at least 100 miles to assuage his ego?

What a sad world he lives in.

But building your house in the middle of National Forest is smart.
Posted By: Birdwatcher Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by CashisKing
I had no idea people from New York... moved to Florida.

His wife’s idea, always had been her intention soon as the kids were out, she grew up there.

My brother hit rock bottom way back when and joined AA. There he met a young woman, the daughter of a millionaire, who bore him three fine children. Plus he makes more retired than I do working.

I blame myself, I shoulda drunk harder back then.
Posted By: CashisKing Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by Birdwatcher
Originally Posted by CashisKing
I had no idea people from New York... moved to Florida.

His wife’s idea, always had been her intention soon as the kids were out, she grew up there.

My brother hit rock bottom way back when and joined AA. There he met a young woman, the daughter of a millionaire, who bore him three fine children. Plus he makes more retired than I do working.

I blame myself, I shoulda drunk harder back then.

There is a fella in Wyoming that help with that...

He offers many other classes as well...
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
Yesterday I sat and listened to a guy bitching because FEMA capped him at $300K after Hurricane Hermine in 2016 put 8 inches of water in his double wide.

This guy...


Double wide trailer house, before FEMA.

[Linked Image]

After a quick, nifty FEMA fix up.

[Linked Image]

[Linked Image]

[Linked Image]


GOD BLESS AMERICA
Posted By: auk1124 Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by JeffA
Yesterday I sat and listened to a guy bitching because FEMA capped him at $300K after Hurricane Hermine in 2016 put 8 inches of water in his double wide.

This guy...


Double wide trailer house, before FEMA.

[Linked Image]

After a quick, nifty FEMA fix up.

[Linked Image]

[Linked Image]

[Linked Image]


GOD BLESS AMERICA


Hmm, after the historic floods in southeast KY a few months ago, FEMA told the hillbillies to go get fùcked. Entire communities are homeless and have nothing but the clothes on their backs. I think FEMA is going to help local govt rebuild their courthouses and jails though.

Funny how that works.
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Don't know the details there but having a recorded deed in your name AND classified as your primary residence can be a major stumbling block for some in receiving FEMA funding.
Posted By: TrueGrit Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
FN good people with their hands out like a bunch of deadbeats and freeloaders wanting welfare.
Posted By: Raeford Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by smokepole
Originally Posted by mtnsnake
While they are handing out relief money, I need some for being white.

Look dude, everybody knows you're not white so knock it off eh?

Alien?
Posted By: Borchardt Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by BillyGoatGruff
Originally Posted by renegade50
Remember all those 5k prepaid they handed after Katrina..

That was a bunch of bullschit nationwide....

As is is every hurricane.

I know tropical climes breed hard people, but you’d think the rest of the country would say “nah, you knowingly moved there. Own it”

But that doesn’t play well on the news lol

I'd go with that, if, we have the same rules for people in earth quake zones and forest fire zones.
Posted By: Blackheart Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
FEMA money is a fickle thing.

You can only qualify for repair/replacement if it's your primary residence.

If you're insured, you don't get none.

If you're a dead beat renter, they shovel it to you so you can become a dead beat home owner.

If you're already a dead beat home owner and have zero insurance on your primary swamp located home, FEMA brings you crisp hard cash by the truckload typically within 3 to 5 days after the related storm.

Don't ask me why I know this.

I've seen single wide 12x70 mobile homes magically turn into 3500sf sprawling waterfront estates after FEMA gets done fixin' them up.

They need to start naming hurricanes more appropriately.
Names such as Bingo, Jackpot or Yahoo would be more fitting.
Our doublewide was destroyed by flooding in June 2006. We did not have flood insurance as we didn't live in a floodplain. Our property hadn't been flooded in the last 100 years. We still owed 11K on it so still had to make the monthly payments to the bank or default on the loan, even though we could no longer live in it. It took until November 2006 {five months} before FEMA finally paid off the loan for us so we could start looking for a new place. Meanwhile we stayed with my inlaws {what a blast}. Paying off the loan on our destroyed home so we could start over with a new loan on a new place was all FEMA did in our case. We ultimately went from living in a doublewide that would have been paid off in two more years to a singlewide that took 12 more years to pay off. 90% of our belongings were destroyed. FEMA inspectors estimated our total loss, including furniture, appliances, TV, stereo, etc. etc. at 184k. Many things were destroyed that just can't be replaced. Perhaps the worst being all the family photos from when my kids were little. Yeah, we made out like bandits and it was grand. I highly recommend the experience for everyone.
Posted By: JeffA Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
We're you present when FEMA came in and inspected your home?

Did you obtain a special interest rate loan through FEMA to purchase your replacement home?
Posted By: Blackheart Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
We're you present when FEMA came in and inspected your home?

Did you obtain a special interest rate loan through FEMA to purchase your replacement home?
No and no.
Posted By: deflave Re: Disaster relief - 09/28/22
Originally Posted by Blackheart
Originally Posted by JeffA
FEMA money is a fickle thing.

You can only qualify for repair/replacement if it's your primary residence.

If you're insured, you don't get none.

If you're a dead beat renter, they shovel it to you so you can become a dead beat home owner.

If you're already a dead beat home owner and have zero insurance on your primary swamp located home, FEMA brings you crisp hard cash by the truckload typically within 3 to 5 days after the related storm.

Don't ask me why I know this.

I've seen single wide 12x70 mobile homes magically turn into 3500sf sprawling waterfront estates after FEMA gets done fixin' them up.

They need to start naming hurricanes more appropriately.
Names such as Bingo, Jackpot or Yahoo would be more fitting.
Our doublewide was destroyed by flooding in June 2006. We did not have flood insurance as we didn't live in a floodplain. Our property hadn't been flooded in the last 100 years. We still owed 11K on it so still had to make the monthly payments to the bank or default on the loan, even though we could no longer live in it. It took until November 2006 {five months} before FEMA finally paid off the loan for us so we could start looking for a new place. Meanwhile we stayed with my inlaws {what a blast}. Paying off the loan on our destroyed home so we could start over with a new loan on a new place was all FEMA did in our case. We ultimately went from living in a doublewide that would have been paid off in two more years to a singlewide that took 12 more years to pay off. 90% of our belongings were destroyed. FEMA inspectors estimated our total loss, including furniture, appliances, TV, stereo, etc. etc. at 184k. Many things were destroyed that just can't be replaced. Perhaps the worst being all the family photos from when my kids were little. Yeah, we made out like bandits and it was grand. I highly recommend the experience for everyone.

What a loser.
Posted By: irfubar Re: Disaster relief - 09/29/22
I live in the woods, if a forest fire burns down my house I have homeowners insurance.... simple
I even up my policy as values rise
Posted By: troublesome82 Re: Disaster relief - 09/29/22
Originally Posted by JeffA
Originally Posted by renegade50
Remember all those 5k prepaid they handed after Katrina..

That was a bunch of bullschit nationwide....

5 grand?

We're not even on the same planet here.

Yesterday I sat and listened to a guy bitching because FEMA capped him at $300K after Hurricane Hermine in 2016 put 8 inches of water in his double wide.

When I worked as a subcontractor post Katrina out of Gulfport,MS, Major Damage Flood was not designated below 11". It was a debacle to navigate the system then (for me as a newbie) and at least 30% of the inspections I did had a fraudulent feel to them!
Posted By: hillestadj Re: Disaster relief - 09/29/22
Originally Posted by Blackheart
Originally Posted by JeffA
FEMA money is a fickle thing.

You can only qualify for repair/replacement if it's your primary residence.

If you're insured, you don't get none.

If you're a dead beat renter, they shovel it to you so you can become a dead beat home owner.

If you're already a dead beat home owner and have zero insurance on your primary swamp located home, FEMA brings you crisp hard cash by the truckload typically within 3 to 5 days after the related storm.

Don't ask me why I know this.

I've seen single wide 12x70 mobile homes magically turn into 3500sf sprawling waterfront estates after FEMA gets done fixin' them up.

They need to start naming hurricanes more appropriately.
Names such as Bingo, Jackpot or Yahoo would be more fitting.
Our doublewide was destroyed by flooding in June 2006. We did not have flood insurance as we didn't live in a floodplain. Our property hadn't been flooded in the last 100 years. We still owed 11K on it so still had to make the monthly payments to the bank or default on the loan, even though we could no longer live in it. It took until November 2006 {five months} before FEMA finally paid off the loan for us so we could start looking for a new place. Meanwhile we stayed with my inlaws {what a blast}. Paying off the loan on our destroyed home so we could start over with a new loan on a new place was all FEMA did in our case. We ultimately went from living in a doublewide that would have been paid off in two more years to a singlewide that took 12 more years to pay off. 90% of our belongings were destroyed. FEMA inspectors estimated our total loss, including furniture, appliances, TV, stereo, etc. etc. at 184k. Many things were destroyed that just can't be replaced. Perhaps the worst being all the family photos from when my kids were little. Yeah, we made out like bandits and it was grand. I highly recommend the experience for everyone.

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