Mary had a little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the
price of pork went up, she shot the little ba***rd.
*********************************

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to
school with her, between two hunks of bread.
********************

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid Jill
forgot the pill And now they have a son.
********************

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair. Said Simple Simon to
the Pie man, "What have you got there?" Said the Pie man unto
Simon, "Pies, you Dumb A**"
********************

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All
the kings' horses, And all the kings' men had scrambled eggs, For
breakfast again.
********************

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle, all over the bedside
clock. The little dog laughed to see such fun. Then died of
electric shock.
********************

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie, Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play, hee kissed them too 'cause he
was gay.
********************

Mary had a little lamb.

then went into shock and the doctor fainted.

TFF! They kind of remind me of the NC17 Andrew Dice Clay Rhymes from the "80's"... They were a little raw, but funny too.

I remember those.

Hey diddle diddle,
The Cat and the fiddle,
The cow jumped over the moon.
The experimental station's
Inoculations
Had put all her glands in tune.

Hark! Hark! The dogs do bark;
The beggars have come to town.
The Community Chest will give a lawn fest,
To shake the citizens down.
...
Paddy was a gunman;
Paddy was a thief.
Paddy came to my house,
And stole a piece of beef.
Paddy got alienist
And proved himself insane.
Then he crowned the alienist,
And took his watch and chain.

Old mother hubert
Went to the cubert
To get her poor doggy a bone

But when she bent over
Her rover took over
And gave her a bone of his own

There once was a man from Nantucket................never mind

You guys are scaring me again..........

Casey

Then there's that old favorite:
There was an old woman
who lived in a shoe...
Had so many children
she didn't know what to do.
But her problems were over
and her worries were through,
When someone stuck his foot in the shoe.