As most know Texas is suffering the greatest one year drought since 1917 so those that keep records say. We may be about to surpass that year too.
Since all green stuff is burned up and most all natural water is gone wildlife is suffering.
In this case coons. There are a lot of coons since fur prices went to hell years ago. I mean a loooootttt of coons.
I done been invaded. Those sob were tearing down my bird feeders and turning over my bird waterers. Climbing a slick conduit pipe to tear down my humming bird feeders.
Had to put bungee cords on my dogfood can and trash bin. The sumbitches are all over the place and to add insult to injury they crap on my front porch.
I have steel traps but there are too many grandkids running the place to put them out and I don't want to have to reset them every night before I go to bed. Besides that my old dog like his old man has to get up in the middle of the night to go pee. Don't want him running into a steel trap and he is scared of coons (worthless sob).
So last week I sprang for three Havahart traps. Those things work or I got dumb coons one or the other. Since the coons have already eat fifty pounds of sunflower seed I just baited the traps with more seed.
This morning numbers 6 & 7 of the ring tailed horde are unhappy inhabitants of my jail houses. I am going to haul them off in a minute.
I was talking to a friend at church sunday telling him about my coon catching and some sweet little old blue-hair asked what I was doing with them. I told her I was letting them join the air force. Went right over her head. She is an animal lover.
The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.
Just wanted to let the fire know that from this front the WAR is on.
We have met the enemy and he is a coon.
Signed
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone.
God bless you. Believe me, you have just won the first skirmish.
The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.
Wouldn't that probably be cannabalism?
The bastids get educated FAST.......
I have faced hard times, but ain't never thought about eating coon. How long you gotta parboil them little devils?
Too bad they are skinny. BBQ'd coon is right tasty. You ought to raise some corn for 'em.
Signed
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone.
I will follow you to hell and back General...
Signed
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone.
I will follow you to hell and back General...
Well, go about 5 miles south of El Paso, and turn back, then....
I too, have won a couple of skirmishes in the "coon wars" this summer. Keep up the good fight General.
Well, ya could make hats outa them skins. Start or revive a new fad. I can see all them NFL players getting off the bus wearing coon skin hats along with their wolf hide coats.
Yeah! Same thing here. Coons abound! Hogs coming back in to the yard as well! Caught one of the little masked bastids pulling one of wifey's bird feeders up in the pecan tree!!!!!
K
I may be the only one in the world that didn't know this,
but: once you catch them little boogers in the live trap,
they will reach through the wire and tear up EVERYTHING
they can reach
We had one raiding the dog food, so set trap and next morn
had a half grown coon and 50 lbs of triple 13 mostly in
with him. Full bag sitting next to the trap, joker shredded
the plastic bag and made helluva mess...
Too bad the hides are worthless this time of year. I hate to waste 'em but if you haul 'em off it just makes it somebody else's problem. If you haul 'em to the far side of the nearest water they may not come back. This drought is really getting old now.
Too bad the hides are worthless this time of year. I hate to waste 'em but if you haul 'em off it just makes it somebody else's problem. If you haul 'em to the far side of the nearest water they may not come back. This drought is really getting old now.
Florida is a helluva trip from his place, and I don't think they need any more 'coons, either.
Too bad the hides are worthless this time of year. I hate to waste 'em but if you haul 'em off it just makes it somebody else's problem. If you haul 'em to the far side of the nearest water they may not come back. This drought is really getting old now.
Florida is a helluva trip from his place, and I don't think they need any more 'coons, either.
There is a place back east on Pennsylvania Av that might have a shortage. Lots of water, too.
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Deep Northeast Texas
General Cornpone,
This dispatch is to advise you that the war has spread. Infiltrators relentlessly probing defenses. Birdseed gone. Deer corn decimated.
Enemy collaborator living across the road. Embedded source informs us that the collaborator continues to provide comfort and support for the enemy by providing food every night "because they are cute".
Havahart traps deployed, enemy disregarding current attractants, must resupply marshmallow stores.
Sniping plans formulated, must finalize sniper's hide construction before deployment.
Sincerely,
Maj. M.F. Malfunction
My dad has capitulated. His only remaining defense is to grow more watermelons than they can eat.
Well, go about 5 miles south of El Paso, and turn back, then....
You got that right......you could even stop in Pecos to shorten the trip.
Note to Situation Room: They have sent out scouting parties as far north as Iowa where they are engaged in harassing activities such as ripping the plants out of planters, relocating pet food and water dishes to all parts of the property, and leaving piles of processed foodstuffs on any and all available surfaces.
Thats a cool lookin' old rifle, what is it T LEE?
Gunner
Am now sitting up late nights.
Sniper rifle as modified effective but enemy keeps probing.
Will hold to the last man.
Yours in honor.
General B. Neu Sance
Feed the other birds Boggy!
The bigger, black, ugly, naked-headed kind,
!
That'll teach them coons they oughta not be eatin' bird food.
The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.
Wouldn't that probably be cannabalism?
hater
a tacticoon rifle!
as far as where to release those coons from the Havahart traps....I like to set them in a couple of feet of water for about five minutes, then you can pretty much release them anywhere you want.
Yep, works every time. But then so does my tacticoon rifle. I am gonna steal that and use it as my description of it!
a tacticoon rifle!
as far as where to release those coons from the Havahart traps....I like to set them in a couple of feet of water for about five minutes, then you can pretty much release them anywhere you want.
HAH! Shows how environmentally sensitive YOU are!
I prefer to use just enough water on the traps to wash out the blood after I have shot the coon in the head with a .22 CB cap.
I have to use the Havahart traps around the house due to "unauthorized by-catch", otherwise I would be using my Newhouse legholds on the little jihadists.
Ed
Sounds like Mom needs to send you her little coon cornering shiht zhu. Get them, drown the little bastards!
I have a damned squirrel problem, one of my neighbors keeps giving the little infiltrators raw peanuts, I have peanut plants growing in my yard, I thought they wouldn't grow in Colorado.
they are hell on Deer Feeders
I drilled a coon with a .45, years ago; he was trying to get into a feeder.
I picked him after making sure he was dead, and about a thousand fleas jumped onto my arm. I shrieked like a girl and threw him into the bushes. Ya'll can keep them hides.
I have a damned squirrel problem, one of my neighbors keeps giving the little infiltrators raw peanuts, I have peanut plants growing in my yard, I thought they wouldn't grow in Colorado.
Me too. This year so far, I've taken 57 from the front porch w/ a 39A mountie and 700fps CB caps. They've been eating the apples from the tree next to the front door. 3 bites then they drop 'em.
I'm down to about 2-3 that I think I've seen.
I have a damned squirrel problem, one of my neighbors keeps giving the little infiltrators raw peanuts, I have peanut plants growing in my yard, I thought they wouldn't grow in Colorado.
Me too. This year so far, I've taken 57 from the front porch w/ a 39A mountie and 700fps CB caps. They've been eating the apples from the tree next to the front door. 3 bites then they drop 'em.
I'm down to about 2-3 that I think I've seen.
I'm thinkin maybe putting in a crabapple tree next year, then set out back with the Ruger air rifle and fill a bag, they could be good eatin!
Thanks to the public and especially to my loyal troops who are keeping up the good fight against the invaders.
I released the latest captives with a parting gift of a 22short behind the ear. They danced for joy or something.
The local red headed black wing squadron of the air force was circling as I left.
I saluted and sang three bars of Off we go Into the wild blue younder!
All trap sites now raked smooth and waiting for another assault tonight.
Carry on
Y'r ob't sv't
Gen Cornpone
Killed a coonscout 3 weeks ago at our camp in Maine! He was raiding the coolers and scouting for a way inside the camp! May need more ammo!
Tuesday, 23 August 2011
Deep Northeast Texas
To: Gen. Cornpone
From: Maj. Malfunction
Re: Farewell Gifts to Departing Enemy Combatants
Gen. Cornpone, please clarify where the gifts of metal piercings are supposed to be applied.
I am presently applying the piercings to the center of the forehead, as per the Tantrist belief that the sixth shankra (ajna or "the seat of concealed wisdom") would be the best place in order to make the little terrorist smarter and not return. So far this method has worked very well as none have returned to the battlefield.
Does your method work as well, or does it " way overpenetrate" and miss the seat of wisdom and impart repair opportunities to the before-mentioned trap?
Your Ob't S'vt.
Maj. Malfunction
As most know Texas is suffering the greatest one year drought since 1917 so those that keep records say. We may be about to surpass that year too.
Since all green stuff is burned up and most all natural water is gone wildlife is suffering.
In this case coons. There are a lot of coons since fur prices went to hell years ago. I mean a loooootttt of coons.
I done been invaded. Those sob were tearing down my bird feeders and turning over my bird waterers. Climbing a slick conduit pipe to tear down my humming bird feeders.
Had to put bungee cords on my dogfood can and trash bin. The sumbitches are all over the place and to add insult to injury they crap on my front porch.
I have steel traps but there are too many grandkids running the place to put them out and I don't want to have to reset them every night before I go to bed. Besides that my old dog like his old man has to get up in the middle of the night to go pee. Don't want him running into a steel trap and he is scared of coons (worthless sob).
So last week I sprang for three Havahart traps. Those things work or I got dumb coons one or the other. Since the coons have already eat fifty pounds of sunflower seed I just baited the traps with more seed.
This morning numbers 6 & 7 of the ring tailed horde are unhappy inhabitants of my jail houses. I am going to haul them off in a minute.
I was talking to a friend at church sunday telling him about my coon catching and some sweet little old blue-hair asked what I was doing with them. I told her I was letting them join the air force. Went right over her head. She is an animal lover.
The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.
Just wanted to let the fire know that from this front the WAR is on.
We have met the enemy and he is a coon.
Signed
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone.
They was coming at me in waves...
I think you are all just collectively MEAN!!!!!
They are suffering too in a time of drought and just trying to make a living.
They have children too they are trying to provide for.
Isn't it your christian duty to SHARE food supplies?
Are you just wanton KILLERS of God's innocent creatures?
SHAME SHAME SHAME
If you must do this, why not level the playing field and take them on without the high powered armament, it isn't fair.
I think you are all just collectively MEAN!!!!!
They are suffering too in a time of drought and just trying to make a living.
They have children too they are trying to provide for.
Isn't it your christian duty to SHARE food supplies?
Are you just wanton KILLERS of God's innocent creatures?
SHAME SHAME SHAME
If you must do this, why not level the playing field and take them on without the high powered armament, it isn't fair.
if someone is gonna do hand-to-paw, one-on-one combat with a coon they better bring someone to run the video camera cause i wanna see this
Here's a live trap strory from just recently.
We've had a very rough chicken year. We generally, for 15 years or so, have let them range at will over a couple acres. We lose 1-2 birds a year; an acceptable tax to pay to the wildlife. They'd usually get some daffy bird that was foraging at dusk in the ferns at the edge of the woods... I kill about 1-2 raccoons or possums a year on average.
But this year, something changed, and something started grabbing them very boldly. As in, right up near the house in broad daylight. You'd find a pile of feathers, and I'd always grab a gun and my Lab and run out and try to get it... over the years I've gotten a few coons that way, they'd tree up and I'd spot them by their eyes and shoot them out of the tree. Good times. But this critter wasn't doing that.
Set out a live trap, Harbor Freight version of the Have-A-Heart, and didn't catch anything but a big grey squirrel. Still, it was worth a try so I left it out and checked it every day.
So a couple weeks ago I go out there (into my woods) to check it and from a distance I can see it was sprung shut. Whoopee! Like a kid at Christmas I approach. As I get closer, I'm like, what the heck?! No critter! Closer still and I begin to pick out color in the dim woodsy light... red. Uh oh.
Get there and it's appalling. There's blood EVERYWHERE. It's all over the inside of the mesh, all over the trip panel... It's unbelievable. My first though was that something had chewed it's leg off but soon I realized that was a Very Dumb Thought. Finally I realized that I'd caught something, and something ELSE had somehow
reached through the mesh and taken out the poor trapped critter in very small pieces!.
Brought the live trap in.
Oh- we figured out our predator. Busted him one late afternoon in plain sight in our back "yard" (field) trying to get our little chicks, which we'd bought in July (which is not how you normally do it) to get our flock back up to a dozen or so hens. They were in a "chicken tractor" so he couldn't get them. I didn't shoot it.
It was hard to capture the gore inside that trap in a photo; if you zoom in you might be able to see it on the mesh:
Major,
Ye got to pick yer shots son.
So far no short has overpenetrated.
If you line it up just right you can open the door and the little buggers will dance right out without spilling a drop on the cage.
They will also cut a buck and wing on the ground for a bit.
Cornpone
You's guys is luck, they are 300-400 lbs around here, no funny striped tails, tend to be black or brown all over.
Thats a cool lookin' old rifle, what is it T LEE?
Gunner
Savage 72 their 1970's remake of the Stevens Favorite, I re-chambered it to .22 WMR. They called it the Crackshot CRACKSHOT Mfg. 1972-89.
I think you are all just collectively MEAN!!!!!
They are suffering too in a time of drought and just trying to make a living.
They have children too they are trying to provide for.
Isn't it your christian duty to SHARE food supplies?
Are you just wanton KILLERS of God's innocent creatures?
SHAME SHAME SHAME
If you must do this, why not level the playing field and take them on without the high powered armament, it isn't fair.
if someone is gonna do hand-to-paw, one-on-one combat with a coon they better bring someone to run the video camera cause i wanna see this
In the immortal words of Jerry Clower;
"Somebody shoot up here amongst us, one of us has got to have some relief!"Ed
You's guys is luck, they are 300-400 lbs around here, no funny striped tails, tend to be black or brown all over.
Gen. Cornpone,
See! They done put on disguises! Crafty Bastids! I bet they wear snow camo up north, whatcha think?
Maj. Malfunction
Golden Malirin fly bait in a bird feeder BOLTED DOWN in the center of a picnic table. Takes care of the coons & the small pets can't get to it.
Scott
What was your varmint Jeff?
I think you are all just collectively MEAN!!!!!
They are suffering too in a time of drought and just trying to make a living.
They have children too they are trying to provide for.
Isn't it your christian duty to SHARE food supplies?
Are you just wanton KILLERS of God's innocent creatures?
SHAME SHAME SHAME
If you must do this, why not level the playing field and take them on without the high powered armament, it isn't fair.
if someone is gonna do hand-to-paw, one-on-one combat with a coon they better bring someone to run the video camera cause i wanna see this
Got that right, I might even pay admission for a long version!
Major we may have to go to long rifle cartridges. I'll notify the arsenal.
I have a friend up near prescott that is raising "range" chickens.
This means they are in pens that are moved dailey in an irrigated field. Wire mesh sides. They have been having trouble with coons, that basically live in some big cottonwoods near the field. The coons will come in and grab part of a chicken through the mesh and just chew off a wing/ leg/ whatever.
It is a problem that needs to be fixed. Keep meaning to ask him about helping with the solution.
The coons are too poor to eat or I would have a market for them with some folks I know.
Wouldn't that probably be cannabalism?
Har, har, har. Yea, there's a coo n in Washingtoon
I have already been forced to go to magnums, they knew the rang of the shorts & longs. Sniping is the only way anymore.
Your Obt Svt.
Gen. B. Neu Sance
I have already been forced to go to magnums, they knew the rang of the shorts & longs. Sniping is the only way anymore.
Your Obt Svt.
Gen. B. Neu Sance
i suggest general, that you should be using that great cartridge the 7mm/08. Assuming it would penetrate enough, that is.
What was your varmint Jeff?
Bobcat
I have already been forced to go to magnums, they knew the rang of the shorts & longs. Sniping is the only way anymore.
Your Obt Svt.
Gen. B. Neu Sance
Stand ready Sir,
A call for the artilery may come your way.
Double shot the guns and give them hell Genl. B
Cornpone
I have already been forced to go to magnums, they knew the rang of the shorts & longs. Sniping is the only way anymore.
Your Obt Svt.
Gen. B. Neu Sance
Stand ready Sir,
A call for the artilery may come your way.
Double shot the guns and give them hell Genl. B
Cornpone
General, SIR! Permission requested to break out the .45Gov't Model 1895, SIR! I already know that ANY pizzant 7mm anything will just bounce offen them critters!
Maj. Malfunction
I have a damned squirrel problem, one of my neighbors keeps giving the little infiltrators raw peanuts, I have peanut plants growing in my yard, I thought they wouldn't grow in Colorado.
Me too. This year so far, I've taken 57 from the front porch w/ a 39A mountie and 700fps CB caps. They've been eating the apples from the tree next to the front door. 3 bites then they drop 'em.
I'm down to about 2-3 that I think I've seen.
I wish i had 57 fat squirrels cleaned and in the freezer.
Perhaps I could beg the use of the fine sharpshooter that recently ended the career of Union Maj. Gen. John Sedgwick Sir. If you could spare him that is.
Ever Your Obt Svnt.
Gen. Neu Sance
Jeff, what was the varmint?
Thats a cool lookin' old rifle, what is it T LEE?
Gunner
Savage 72 their 1970's remake of the Stevens Favorite, I re-chambered it to .22 WMR. They called it the Crackshot CRACKSHOT Mfg. 1972-89.
Sweet
Gunner
I have already been forced to go to magnums, they knew the rang of the shorts & longs. Sniping is the only way anymore.
Your Obt Svt.
Gen. B. Neu Sance
Stand ready Sir,
A call for the artilery may come your way.
Double shot the guns and give them hell Genl. B
Cornpone
General, SIR! Permission requested to break out the .45Gov't Model 1895, SIR! I already know that ANY pizzant 7mm anything will just bounce offen them critters!
Maj. Malfunction
Permission granted Major.
Take no prisoners play DeGualo
Cornpone
I've taken 11 this year so far. But after you thin their ranks they send in the opossums for reinforcements. Taken 8 of them stinkers.
T Lee, my son was born in 1964. His first rifle was that Savage 72 Crackshot (1974?), and he still has it. Great little starter rifles. I never thought about a re-chamber. Thanks.
It is a tack driver out to 100 yards or so.
Marlin 39 has been my coon war tool over the years. They are persistent little varmints.
did not read all the thread, but I just shoot the damn things when I see them.
they are hell on Deer Feeders
Few years ago I went to the lease to set up the feeder and forgot the varmint guard. Filled up the feeder anyway with the intent to return in the morning. Didn't make it back for about 36 hours and I was cleaned out. 250 pounds of corn gone in 36 hours! Their cute little paw prints were all over the place. Hate them things worse than hogs.
It is a tack driver out to 100 yards or so.
Yes but you older folks with your eyesight use pretty big tacks.
am thinking you're the dude they were talking about in the tactical flashlight thread!
is there a number I should call to tell em TLee has a tactical setup to shoot coons?
Hey, that is a light / laser combo. I am in deep do do with the batfags now.
We are seeing all manner of coons and possums here in DFW suburbia.
Expat
a tacticoon rifle!
as far as where to release those coons from the Havahart traps....I like to set them in a couple of feet of water for about five minutes, then you can pretty much release them anywhere you want.
Damn, my worst death would be drowning and to each their own, but damnit man, shoot em in the head if you are going to kill em. Thats what I do. Couldn't cotton drowning something on purpose.
I think its the fact that our yard has 4 dogs... we have caught armadillos left and right and some possum.. but not a coon and no destruction to bird feeders etc... yet....
I have noticed tracks at the protein feeder though and I've never seen them there.
Broke down finally and got weak today and ordered a damn game camera.... may change my tune at the protein feeder after that....
Wifey says I gotta use the CB longs...... Jeez..... " I don't want you waking the neighbors!" she says...... Cmon, ain't like I'm using the freakin' Holland & Holland!!!! They live way he** other side of the pasture!!!! I wanna bust a coon!!!!
Kaywoodie
haha, if I had to, would use the H/H without a doubt... unfortunately the newest dog is a stray that we took in and is a super dog... but lightning and guns scare the crap out of him... I'm about in the same boat due to taht.... 22LR single shot, firing Aguila super colibri to the head... quieter than most pellet guns....
LOL! I wish we had those Super Colibri's! All we have are the CCI's and I meant to grab a box before leaving tonite. Try to remember again tomorrow.....
K
a tacticoon rifle!
as far as where to release those coons from the Havahart traps....I like to set them in a couple of feet of water for about five minutes, then you can pretty much release them anywhere you want.
Steve,
My 29 yr. old tax lawyer son-in-law, who I think you have met, was up from New Orleans with my daughter for a wedding. He spotted a coon in my yard and pointed out the pecan tree he was in. As it was dark, I took my 8 3/8" K-22 and a flashlight out in the yard. I spotted the coon's rear end about 50' up in a fork and popped it with a subsonic HP. He growled and clawed around in the tree, then hit the ground. I finished him off with a head shot. This young man, raised in the city, gleefully announced that this was his first "hunting trip". He seemed impressed with the whole operation.
Knowing New Orleans city folks like you do, I'm sure you'd appreciate that one.
DF
ROFLMAO!
"Knowing New Orleans city folks like you do, I'm sure you'd appreciate that one."
Last time I was there and on my way to Chalmette I remember seeing a sign in the yard of a house there next to the industrial canal drawbridge, "Coons for Sale"....
LOL! Never forget that!!!!!!!
Kaywoodie
A few years back the little bastards found the feed in my barn. Instead of ripping open 1 bag and eating from it they ripped open every one that was exposed (15 or so). Crapped and pissed everywhere.
2 live traps have thinned them out considerably. A sprinkle of cat food lures them inside. WV coons have not wised up yet. Interestingly though, this year has mostly seen young ones.
Fly bait mixed with grape juice works wonders. Critters drop within 5 feet of the dish. Problem is it kills indiscriminately. Fear for local pets has kept me from using this method although others find it very successful.
The magazine Fur Fish and Game advertises a trap that catches the coons front leg as he reaches in for the bait. IIRC ad states it is pet safe. I may give one a try someday.
Skirmishes are also occurring in the fine state of Idaho. Defenders in this locale have made effective use of live traps baited with "Little Friskies".
POW's may easily be enticed to nibble upon the muzzle of a Savage Striker in 17 HMR, which ends their combat career.
Defenders have called in canine reinforcements. A Jack Russel Terrier does effectively maintain a clear perimeter.
I have found it even more amusing to watch the dog chasing the varmints out of the yard than it is to shoot them. The dog has recently been vaccinated for rabies and gets a monthly dose of "Fipro-guard" to prevent transfer of external parasites.
We got lots of coons here also; 98% on welfare!!
Well, ya could make hats outa them skins. Start or revive a new fad. I can see all them NFL players getting off the bus wearing coon skin hats along with their wolf hide coats.
+1!
Two excellent Ideas!
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone Sir,
Nothing to report over night here on the frontier.
All quiet and no probes.
They seem to have discovered my reach and stayed out of range.
Beware a flanking movement in you area.
Your Obt Svt,
Gen B Neu Sance.
Gen. I beg to report that flanking movement discovered.
The miscreant mudsill #8 is in durance vile and awaits a blind fold and a smoke.
I am going to go smoke him in a minute.
Y'r Ob't Sv't
Cornpone
ROFLMAO!
"Knowing New Orleans city folks like you do, I'm sure you'd appreciate that one."
Last time I was there and on my way to Chalmette I remember seeing a sign in the yard of a house there next to the industrial canal drawbridge, "Coons for Sale"....
LOL! Never forget that!!!!!!!
Kaywoodie
Used to see signs like that every year we'd go back down to the Houston Fatstock show off south 288 and beltway 8 area...
General Cornpone Sir,
Far North outpost reporting. Have recently discovered 3 of the enemy scaling a fruit bearing tree. Suspect them of trying to breach perimeter by going over wire.
Ended threat immediately upon discovery. Can report that .44 special makes noticeable impression upon enemy. Shot placement not critical, large margin of error useful on fleeing enemy targets.
Next report will follow next enemy contact.
Respectfully,
Pvt. Property
With the thanks of a greatful nation, raise that man to corporal.
Gen. Cornpone
Wifey says I gotta use the CB longs...... Jeez..... " I don't want you waking the neighbors!" she says...... Cmon, ain't like I'm using the freakin' Holland & Holland!!!! They live way he** other side of the pasture!!!! I wanna bust a coon!!!!
Kaywoodie
Try Remington Sub-Sonic LR HP's. They don't break the sound barrier and don't make that much noise. And, they're accurate, more so than some of the other stuff. I use them with my suppressor.
DF
CHEM/BIO WARFARE PLAN:
Depends on you morals but Golden Marlin fly pellets and Pepsi in a tin pie pan. A person I knew had them chewing up wiring in very expensive earth movers. Made a "dessert pan" for them. No BS he left it for 3 days and had 10 dead 'Coons! Draw a ten foot circle around plate. NOTHING will make it out of the circle. Just be sure nothing you like can get to it. They cant resist the stuff.
I heartily concur.
Gen. Neu Sance
Well, the camera showed what I thought wasn't there too bad. Showed I have 4 resident coons. But mostly they eat what the deer drop out of the feeder.
I'll get with them during bow season though I suspect.
At least its not tons of them. So many deer tracks I guess the deer tracks wipe out the tracks of the coons by the time I go look.
I dispatched # 10 this am. They have kind of slowed down.
I have relaxed the sentries and one slipped past the pickets last night. The dog ran it of of his feed dish about midnight. I'll go back on full alert tonight and re-set the trap.
Been eerily quiet on our front, I know they are laying back and plotting. Word might be afoot that I am in process of acquiring the latest state of the art sniper rifle in .243 Win.
Gn'l Neu Sance
Gen. Cornpone,
It is with urgency that I write of the latest development.
The enemy has recruited scouts from another species to throw us off course.
My Wardog/Sentry alerted me to intruders and I discovered two B.A.R.'s (Big Ass Rats) probing the defenses around the birdfeeders last night. One succumbed to a .22CB long and the other was dispatched by my War Dog, Lady, pictured below.
The Sgt. Maj. has informed me that if I deploy Golden Malrin around our post that R&R will become a thing of the past.
Y'r Ob't Sv't
Maj. Malfunction
Been eerily quiet on our front, I know they are laying back and plotting. Word might be afoot that I am in process of acquiring the latest state of the art sniper rifle in .243 Win.
Gn'l Neu Sance
I have news to report from my outpost and sorry to say our side is losing in NW Pa. I have a flock of chickens that in the spring numbered 13, 5 of which layed daily, 8 of which I had plans for laying in the late summer. Currently we have been besieged and their numbers have been reduced to 5. The enemy has changed tactics and started digging under the wall of the hen's coop and in one of those raids took 3 at once. I have since reinforces the walls with cement blocks, and they have yet to work around those barricades. Not to be outdone they again changed tactics to ripping through the screen windows and in one of those raids killed three and wounded 1 that later succumbed to its injuries. One of my hens was then wounded when it went A.W.O.L and wouldn't return to its baracks at night. We thought it would fight the good fight and mend, but went down with gangrene. I have in turn killed 11 of the enemies but more advance weekly. My main method of dispatch is baiting with bread and peanut butter and then dispatched the rotten sobs with a ten pump bb gun to the forehead. I have used a 22long and didn't care for the pass through pinging off the bottom of the cage at my feet. I have more to report on a few of the enemy encounters but my battle brief doesn't seem too brief.
general mills
Hang in there Mills, you will overcome. Also sorry to hear of the KIA and WIA in your ranks.
We are maintaining at present but are expecting renewed attacks at any time.
Gn'l Neu Sance
To all troops:
Maintain high alert. The enemy seems to be trying flanking manuvers and mineing operations.
To all who so gallantly bear the brunt of battle you have the thanks of a greatful nation and the admiration of generations of coon fighters yet unborn.
War to the knife. No surrender No retreat.
Gen Cornpone.
But they know where the handouts are and who to vote for.
"NO QUARTER' - General Panic
But they know where the handouts are and who to vote for.
Eyeball, aka "Major Defeat", please do not be discouraged in this time of struggle.
Sometimes a guerilla action must be employed utilizing stealth and trickery to avoid those who would offer aid and comfort to the enemy.
Remember, "All is fair in love and war"!
Maj. Malfunction
Damn, done snuck in under the fence in daylight while I was out scouting. Got "Sterling" the rooster and one of the little black gals (hen). Insidious bastards are gonna PAY!
Gn'l Neu Sance.
I'll tell my tale of direct threat from one of their ranks, this one actually threatened my own troops. Private first born and private second born were pulling bicycle duty up and down the driveway when private 1st born says" hey dad a racoon!!". I thought this odd because is was 15:00 not dark thirty when they usually attack. We'll this devil appeared to be out of his mind and actually made an advance on my troops. I yelled for a immediate retreat back to home base and to bar the doors. I grabbed my 22 semi and ran to meet the foe face to face and rather than high tail it the furry little demon was now double timing in my direction. 3 rounds to the face stopped him in his tracks( although I have to admit that the first round probably went wide because I was a little taken back by his charge). It was a desperate situation but we continue to persevere.
God speed gentlemen.
General Mills.
That is the way man, staunch courage in the face of the enemy is what it takes to win the day.
Gn'l Neu Sance
Handle him carefully, Gen Mills - he may be rabid, sir!
Cpl Punishment
I handled him with care because I was under the same impression, I put him in a shallow unmarked grave. Later I was told I should have cremated him, we live to fight another day!!
Gen. M
In light of recent hostility on other fronts I decided to take punitive action against a seemingly peaceful member of the hostile forces. His innocent walk in the pasture ( likely a front for espionage) ended in a tangle with homeyard defense officer 'Tuff'. The canine forces provide no quarter nor do they negotiate with terrorists..... potential threat neutralized.
Corporal Clem Cladiddlyhopper
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
I'll tell my tale of direct threat from one of their ranks, this one actually threatened my own troops. Private first born and private second born were pulling bicycle duty up and down the driveway when private 1st born says" hey dad a racoon!!". I thought this odd because is was 15:00 not dark thirty when they usually attack. We'll this devil appeared to be out of his mind and actually made an advance on my troops. I yelled for a immediate retreat back to home base and to bar the doors. I grabbed my 22 semi and ran to meet the foe face to face and rather than high tail it the furry little demon was now double timing in my direction. 3 rounds to the face stopped him in his tracks( although I have to admit that the first round probably went wide because I was a little taken back by his charge). It was a desperate situation but we continue to persevere.
God speed gentlemen.
General Mills.
Gen Mills,
Given the dire conditions you faced, I will hereby recommend to Gen. Cornpone that you be granted a double portion of "Old Group Tightener and Fish Enlarger" as reward for your gallantry in the face of mortal peril.
Your Humble Servant,
Maj.Malfunction
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
EH76,
Do you believe the enemy combatant was enroute to the Border? If so, you should immediately inform our northern allies.
Good job with the 460, by the way, we can't take any chances.
Maj. Malfunction
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
Probably running steel jacketed radials, right sir?
Regards,
Corporal Can Coon
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
EH76,
Do you believe the enemy combatant was enroute to the Border? If so, you should immediately inform our northern allies.
Good job with the 460, by the way, we can't take any chances.
Maj. Malfunction
Maj Malfunction,
I do believe he was! Got him in the north bound lane of I-25!
Humbly yours,
The Wyoming Contingent
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
Probably running steel jacketed radials, right sir?
Regards,
Corporal Can Coon
Corporal Can Coon,
Correct BF Goodrich A/T coon mashers.
Humbly yours,
The Wyoming Contingent
One of those rascals attempted to escape to the north. I took him out with a 460 (cu in F250) I am afraid it may have over penetrated slightly........
At least it wasn't with that .22 WMR pistol your so fond of carrying! If he was headed North, I'm sure you would have put a round through his "Southern Exposure" just like that skunk in the field last year!!
May bring my S&W 48 to Antelope camp this year.....
To All Troops:
Maintain high alert. The enemy is on the move.
Beware flanking movements.
Our enemy is diabolical and bloodthirsty.
Decorations and suitable libations ordered for all.
Gen Cornpone
Communiqure from Fort Zinderneuf
On the frontier;
Start
Insurgents under their leader Abd el Coon made a recce "en masse" last Thursday evening. Two were gutshot while trying to escape to the safety of their lair in the hills behind the fort.
Stop
Major Debris
Commandant
Fort Zinderneuf
My trap was sprung twice last night. The dog alerted me at 0300 and I saw the little devil stealing food through the side of the live trap. I loosed the hounds on him but he escaped over the fence. After re-baiting and setting the trap I retired for the night. At dawn I discovered the trap had been sprung again and all the booty had been taken.
The enemy has changed tactics and I fear he has enlisted mercenaries as there was an assault on the tool shed last night by what appears to be a large rat.
As my present conditions prevent the use of powder and ball I am considering the use of chemical weapons.
Might be time to send that sticky live trap off to the company armorer for a little trigger work.
Respectfully,
Cpl. Can Coon
Sole defender,
Northern coon defense outpost
Last night we were attacked by a division of mercenary marsupials. The coons are now in cahoots with the possums and the rats.
Cpl Coon
The invader looks to be in decent shape. Incarcerate him in a chicken coop and feed him on cornbread and milk for a week or two.
You may coerce a roast out of the little bugger.
Gen Cornpone
To All Troops:
Maintain high alert. The enemy is on the move.
Beware flanking movements.
Our enemy is diabolical and bloodthirsty.
Decorations and suitable libations ordered for all.
Gen Cornpone
The enemy is trying to out flank you via the eastern seaboard. Was awakened early this morning by a skirmish in the lower 40. Seems Pvt. Jackal was ambushed while reconnoitering. He decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and retreated due to superior numbers. Was awarded Purple Heart for wounds suffered in battle.
Your Humble Servant,
Major Dick Head
Extend Pvt Jackal our thanks and tell him he is mentioned in dispatches.
Rally to the colors men. The nefarious mudsills are everywhere.
Gen Cornpone.
NORTHERN OUTPOST (MICHIGAN) REPORT:
I dispatched insurgant from recon post in tree behind a friendlies house. I understand cb caps have been effective in other fronts. My findings are that a 3.5 inch 12 gauge shell loaded /w 2.25oz of Heavy T-shot is VERY effective. Especially through jelly-head choke. No information was extracted from insurgant due to being neutralized with extreme prejudice. Also 2 sappers dispatched by friendly sniper w/ Rock River .223. 2 300yd shots to tree line. Also quite effective. One shot one kill policy was honored. Also concur on Marsupial conspiracy. Activity has been high after sundown. Was able to neutralize 2 last week w/ 2003 Peterbilt hauling 70,000 lbs of milk. Again no intelligence was collected due to extreme flattening.
END COMMUNIQUE
Major Woody
CCI .22 short hollow points. Works wonders on possums and 'coons in a Havahart trap. Caught hell from the neighbor for not being "sporting." Next possum was released and shot in a sporting manner, Died in his garage after bleeding all over his flagstone patio. Back to the previous routine. Last capture....a skunk! Let it go. Hopefully wont be back!
Gen Cornpone;
Sir - I have been engaged in this war for months! The thought of killin chickens (without frying in my secret herbs ) is beyond diabotical! Its shameful! Kill tha bastids! My Army of the West Tennessee joins your forces. We are engaging with Walkers, Mt Curs, and Black and Tans. Our speciality is night infiltration and attack vs these nocturnal scoundrals. Kil Coons - Eat more Ky Fried!
Ur Ob Serv
Col Sanders
With great regret, I report that our lines have finally been infiltrated.
Last night in the hay barn the trap nailed the first coon I"ve caught in probably 5 years... twas a teenager but he got a lesson in not coming back before being released to those ugly black birds.
I may well have to shortly do some due diligence in the deer pasture too.
Regards, and back to find another box of super Colibri...
Gen. Cornpone,
Troops were on post last night when War Dogs "Lady" and "Tessa the WonderLab" alerted to intruders.
After a careful stalk it was determined that the intruders were actually four members of the P.O.T.H.S. clan (Possum On The Half-Shell, aka Amaradillos).
The intruders had uprooted a significant area of lawn, which caused your scribe to trip on the uneven terrain in the dark,
Pleased to report that two of the intruders were dispatched with extreme predjudice, while the other two managed their escape.
On a more sobering note, collaborator neighbors gloated over providing food and water to the enemy and that there is a new crop of recruits that have appeared in the past week.
Will continue the good fight.
Your Obedient Servant,
Maj. Malfunction
Dispatch from the front:
To All Troops:
It is noted that the war is widening and our mutual nefarious nemisis is increasing the pressure on our beligured forces.
We shall never surrender or retreat and do pledge ourselves to extracting from the enemy forces a bitter harvest of death.
Especial mention to Major Woody for his skillful use of heavy artillery. Well done. Double shot the guns and give them HELL.
Welcome also to the Army of West Tennessee. It is with thanks and a greatful heart that these gallant warriors along with their auxilaries are welcomed to the seat of war. The Volunteer State lives up to its fame.
Be it long rememberd that this war for the sancity of our homes, our wives our sweethearts, our chickens and our groceries is open to all without reguard to race creed or geographical location. Unless you are a member of the coon, possum, or rat consortium. Fie in the face of PETA and their sordid ilk.
We have identified the enemy as a flea infested, ring tailed masked mudsill without pity or mercy else he is a gray haired naked tailed miscreant or a bucktoothed brigand.
Forward our cause confusion to our enemies.
No quarter asked none granted.
Advance the colors.
Gen Cornpone.
So Major the enemy has enlisted an armored corps to throw into the fray. You see how nefarious they are. Thanks be for your swift and decisive action. Road pizza are defeatable as you have discerned by your swift and gallant action.
Cornpone
ps Don't step in a hole!
General,
I managed to get the battlefield leveled out again and the breach in the wire repaired today.
I have moved one of the traps to inside the wire and have switched bait to confuse the enemy.
Fresh ammo has been placed at strategic points and the battery for the spotlight has been recharged.
I would have never believed that they would have started using armor.
Now I have begun spotting their black winged sentries lurking near the birdfeeders and along the inner perimeter fence. They put up an awful racket when we step outside, alerting their comrades with their incessant cawing.
.17HMR with 20gr VMax seems to subdue them quite a bit.
If you get word from General Confusion, Corporal Punishment, Major Fubar, or Private Parts' sectors, would you pass them on to us in case they have any useful tips?
Death before dishonor!
Maj. Malfunction
I was out numbered last night 3 to one and only killed one of the enemy, they fade into the woods rapidly in the face of fire.
The falling block has served me faithfully for a long time but it would seem the numbers may demand one of them newfangled repeaters forthwith.
Gn'l Neu Sance
In the swamps of Florida
Gen. Neu Sance,
I was also relying on my Savage Mod 74 in .22lr, but after the massed attack of B.A.R.'s the other night, I switched to my Mountie. Seemed more appropriate, some how.
Y'r Ob't Sv't
Maj. Malfunction
Thank you for your kindness Maj. Malfunction, will probably pull out the Winchester lever action repeater for this evenings expected assault. Will also bring the belt pistol for safety reasons.
In the swamps of Florida,
Gn'l Neu Sance
Sad to report I checked the cam after our big fire and just before getting on this plane...evident that some coon families were displaced by said fire. Evidently coon red cross is now located at our protein feeder as pics show up to 9 at a time since fire.....
Well no assault for a few days, they must be dodging the rain.
Did lose another avian trooper in the night though, Sterling the Rooster was reduced to a pile of feathers. I shall seek to punish the interlopers if it is the last thing I do, by all that is Holy!
In the swamps of Florida,
Gn'l Neu Sance
I'm wondering when Captain Headspace is going to report...
Quick update here. Thought y'all might find this interesting. The coons have been moving more and more in search of vittles. Been taking them out here at the house a bit at a time. I figure 6 more or so and I'll call a temp truce depending on what the game camera shows.
Had a hell of a time at the deer blind last weekend... had to take pics.. a mom and 4 half grown ones had a blast at my expense, but it was worth watching.
Anyway here is a couple of cheesy cell phone shots of one I had on game cam, just never knew what the true color would end up being, as you can see he is on my taxidermy table and about to be reduced to the wall this winter. Thought y'all might appreciate the color phase. Only 2nd one I've seen like that in my life.
And of course for my reward for leaving Mom and family alone, about 15 minutes or so after they left last weekend....
Very cool Sir and congrats on a fine deer.
Yes, very cool!
I guess the old saw about "Blondes have more fun" doesn't apply to coons?
Re-setting traps tonight, will report tomorrow.
Maj. Malfunction
Very nice coon. Congrats on the buck!
My in-laws live on a lake in N.La., back in the woods. They feed the coons and they'll come up every day. Counted as many as 40 at a time, feeding on the bread. Anyway, there use to be coon that was almost white, called her 'White Mama". You could go out on the porch, when you saw her in the yard, start calling her, and she would take the bread out of you hand. She wasnt an albino, just an almost white coon.
I just wanted to add the Texas Trappers and Fur Hunters Assn. rendevous is Oct. 14-15 in Junction Tx. Come and check it out. It's a blast and the best place to pick up supplies and fur.Always some 1st class demos. Most of the guys actually clean up purdy good.
Cool blondie, Jeff. Mine is on the fur wall(left)
Awesome display Huntsman!!!!!!! Gorgeous!!!!!!!
Hey Jeff,, how did you keep from breaking them antlers when they hit the pavement??????
;-)
Very nice buck, congrats!!!!!!!!
Bob
I have faced hard times, but ain't never thought about eating coon. How long you gotta parboil them little devils?
I used to hunt with an old timer named Tom McCnulty when I was a kid. This was approximately 30 years ago. Tom was a helluva guy a real character. He was a barber and was about 75-80 when I was hunting with him.he was still cutting hair at this time. Anyway every year he had a coon feed at the American Legion in Delafield Wisconsin and he donated the money from it to the little league in Delafield. He said he got his coon recipe from an old indian or so I had heard . It was delicious. There are now houses and stores etc where we had hunted. It was a helluva experience for me and I truly appreciate the time he took.
The old black folks I used to work with many years ago, BBQ-ed damn good coons!!!! I liked it a lot! I suppose they are all dead now.
Bob
Don
You've had a bit of a rough go in life. But I've always envied your lifestyle!
Bob
Its all in prep, you dart them a bit early, and then put pipe wrap on the antlers. But you have to wait till they rub off. Then I put out rubber mat on the road in prime locations...
Cool blondie, Jeff. Mine is on the fur wall(left)
great pics ,,Love the fur wall,,great contrast on the coons ,blond one is probily northern verson,camo
report to the troops and COs,a large study has been done and it is confirmed that family groops generally range within a 6-8 sq.block area,in populated centers,not overlaping territoriets,but may expand if neighbour bandits are anililled,opening up areas,that transilates to 6-8 coons for every 6-8 block area,
therefor i suggest that you increase ammo supply ,develop more interdiction methods ,and continue to report all activities so that records of infiltration and attacs can be corrilated,
keep a steady hand and a sharp eye.shoot sharp,
Lt Col ABs,,reporting
Bob
Its all in prep, you dart them a bit early, and then put pipe wrap on the antlers. But you have to wait till they rub off. Then I put out rubber mat on the road in prime locations...
Awesome!!! Great idea!!! Thanks for the tip!
Bob
Report from the Florida swamps. No enemy spotted in weeks, will remain vigilant however.
Gen'l Neu Sance
Carolyn and I just sat in the rain in the bow blind... perfect coon weather.
Pulled out about sunset as the deer had wondered off and didn't want to get pinned in later...
Saw narry a coon when the game cam has shown them from 3pm on till all night at times... Go figure. Last weekend I had them out everytime I was there.
General Cornpone,
It is with great alarm that I must inform you that our adversary has begun daylight raids.
A few minutes ago my war dogs, Lady & Tessa, sounded the alarm.
Upon investigation I discovered a fully armed adult member of this clan skirting the curtilage of our domicile.
I gathered my assault rifle, Savage Mod 72 with CCI subsonic HP ammo, and set forth.
After a brief face-to-face encounter near the lower pond, I was able to make a clean head shot, thus ending this enemy combatant's career.
Please accest this photo in lieu of fingerprints or DNA. The subject was not available for interrogation after the encounter, nor was he available for further "Due Process".
Humbly Yours,
Maj. B.A. Malfunction
Good job Maj, and excellent choice of weapons Sir.
Gen'l Neu Sance
Thank you for the kind words, Gen'l Neu Sance!
Might I inquire about the aperture sights on your Mod 72? Did you retain the factory front sight?
Y'r Ob't Sv't
Maj. Malfunction
With all the rain we've had there are lots of worms and grubs. We have skunks all over the place.
Friend of mine used to throw a heavy tarp over the Havahart and run a hose from his car's exhaust under the tarp.
Didn't take long.
Very benign execution.
Critters just dozed-off.
Yessir, retained the original front, the rear is a Lyman #66 for Winchester lever guns. It fit the side profile perfectly.
The light laser makes it tacti-cool to boot!
Gen'l Neu Sance
Thank you sir! I'll have to find a Lyman for mine.
I have a red spotlight on my T/C Contender Carbine for night ops, so I will leave the electronics off of my Savage.
No new raiders last night, so everyone got a good night's rest.
Maj. Malfunction
Gentlemen
Thank you all for your reports from the various fronts of the war.
Here I have resorted to diversionary tactics. I had such pity for the drought refugees, deer things, that were resorting to using my grey water for drink and yard plantings for sustinance that I placed a feeder for their use just outside the perimiter.
Now the wily advisary waits until the bounty is spread for the refugees before making an appearance at dusk.
Several have paid the price for such boldness and my bird feeders are left alone.
The enemy appear to be greatly reduced in forces. I know not whether it is due to some beneficial rains that have fallen or the fact that to date twenty-three of their number have fallen to various methods of warfare.
Keep up the good fight
Yr' Ob't Sv't
Gen Jubilation T Cornpone
Gen Cornpone
Sir; apparently enemy forces have been concentrating their activities well to the east of this outpost, as I've received no reports of hostile activities in our general area for quite sometime!
Cpl Punishment
Ft. Union
New Mexico Territory
Cpl. Punishment,
Thank you for sharing your report.
The enemy may be headed your direction due to Gen. Cornpone's heroic efforts. They don't migrate fast, but they do travel.
We are still awaiting word from Maj. Fubar's sector, so they may be massing forces there.
Keep a vigilant eye, your powder dry, and keep us posted.
Death Before Dishonor!
Maj. Malfunction
Thankfully mother nature has opened her buffet just slightly.. allowing the pressure to be relieved for a bit but I full expect it to increase again within weeks.
Add my thanks for your vigilance to the Majors reply, Corp. P
Keep a top eye out you never know when the masked marauders will appear.
Gen Cornpone
Dispatch from the swamps in the south:
To all,
We have been getting lots of rain and the enemy seems to be satisfied to stay in camp with close in foraging forgoing any incursions to our area. Will stay vigilant however as they are sneaky little devils and attack when you least expect it.
Standing ready as ever in the swamps of Florida.
Yr' Ob't Sv't
Gen'l Neu Sance
2011 thread.... sad to say, three people posting on that first page are no longer with it...from 10 years ago...
kinda tells about our own mortality..... at our age, how many of us will not be here in another 10 years from now...
I'm sure I won't.
sorry for the morbidity.... but those are three guys I knew and sure miss... the most recent, Ethan Edwards done in by Covid 19.
Rest in Peace, Big Buck 215, Mudhen and Ethan Edwards... you left behind a lot of good friends to go ahead of us..
And the Texas coon war rages on......
And Sadly, alot more guys don't post anymore!
The wife wakes me up one night and says there’s four coons on the porch and they’ve got the cats pinned against the sliding glass door. So I grab the AR and go out the front door with the spot light and the bastids hear me coming and vanish. Now I’m awake so I grab a beer and sit down as she says that they will be back and they were. It was time for a change in tactics so I decided on a frontal approach and I grabbed the Henry and popped the tube loose it raised a couple of inches and walked to the door. The big coon stood on three legs and shoveled cat food into its mouth with the other while starring at me from 2 feet away so I ripped the door open and they scattered as I jumped out bare footed mommy stopped at the step long enough to lose her brains. I jumped off the deck while racking a shell and hit the spot light as one of the cats was nose to nose with one of the coons in the middle of the yard. I guess he was tough now that dad was there and that one died which sent the cat hauling ass. Our Deck is low with only four steps down to the grass after I shot the second one there was a growl to my left and as I spun to the noise number three was about three feet away from my bare ankle underneath the deck(now that will get your attention). That one lost its mind as well and I racked another shell not knowing if I had another or not and looked for the last one. When I hit him with the light he stopped and stood up on his hind legs looking at me and bought the farm. The whole thing didn’t last much more than 5 seconds
I did remember this one. Several of them gone. Makes one aware of his mortality. Be Well, RZ.