The team had him shut down immediately after Q3 ended today because he was very low on fuel, but it didn't help. Not enough for a sample (1 liter minimum, IIRC). So his 3rd place is relegated to 24th on the start grid.

I don't know the regs well enough to know whether he now gets to start on the tire of his choice or has to start on his Q3 tires, but considering it's a Tilkedrome, he's screwed.

Maybe put a spoiler in there since it's not shown live here.

A little help for Alonso but maybe not enough. Vettel should come forward pretty quickly.

Edited to add: But the RBs are very slow on the straight. Might be an issue.

Well slap me and call me Suzy.

Vettel pledged before the race that he'd make it to the podium, but I'd have bet a month's beer money against it.

Vettel had a whole lotta luck last season, and he had a heapin' helpin' of it yesterday, too, mostly courtesy of the safety car. First he starts from pit lane. Then he punts Bruno Senna's car and dings his front wing. Then he barely avoids rear ending Ricciardo but collects a styrofoam DRS sign as a consolation prize, dinging the same front wing in the process. Then he gets penalized (slightly) for a four-off while trying to overtake Romain BigPants. Yet he still manages to make up 30 positions, all told, but with only two contested overtakes on the track.

Alonso scored some luck too, though, because if Vettel hadn't spent so much time screwing around, he probably would have given Alonso some serious competition for second spot.

I think there's something fishy about Vettel's Q3 fuel snafu. Horner claimed post-race that there was more than enough fuel in the car, they just couldn't get to one critical sump without removing any body panels, which is what the SR requires. He hinted it was a quirk with the Rinnow fuel system, and he half hinted this came as a surprise to them. But Ferrari thinks the RB8s have some kind of fuel transfer system so they can adjust weight balance (which probably chaps Pirelli's azz, but makes ANewey smile inscrutably), and that that system violates parc ferme. So one possibility is that Vettel was caught unawares by the order to shut the car off immediately and forgot to complete his fuel management check list.

With two races remaining, if RBR scores four more points, they win the WCC. And if Vettel wins either remaining race, he also wins the WDC. The funny thing is, after Abu Dhabi, SkyBet reduced the odds on him winning the WDC by 4%, from 1:6 to 2:9.

SkyBet also has Vettel the 11/8 fave to win the inaugural USGP at Austin (Keep Austin weird!).

His top speeds (at the three checkpoints) were 7th, 18th and 11th in the qualies because his 7th gear was too short. But because he already was starting in pit lane, there was no further penalty to changing gear ratios, so they used the opportunity to re-gear him. During the race, he was 10th, 2nd and 1st, and even the 10th place was < 3 kph out of first.

The second checkpoint was the fastest on the circuit (> 310 kph) and he was 1.3 kph behind Senna but 1.1 faster than Alonso, who was 5th at that check.

Another stroke of the Vettel luck.

I don't know which F1 rule makes me crazier. The way they do the safety car which almost invariably gives someone a ridiculous benefit and screws someone completely, or the parc ferme rules that lets you change your setup if you start from pitlane. Both those rules, plus the practically two-second gap in race pace between the fastest cars and most all the rest were tailor made to launch Vettel back towards the front.

If I heard right, his setup change switched him from slowest on the straight to fastest.

I was happy to see Webber crash out. He nearly wrecked Maldonado, then ruined Massa's race when he launched back onto the track right in front of him. Of course, the stewards saw nothing amiss in either case.

I thought this was about a grappler I hadn't heard of; never mind.