My little brother is a full blow Heroin junkie and the ripe age of 27. He has been to county jail five times, almost lost his foot to infection from shooting up, drained my parents for over $100k and that's not the half of it.

I want to beat the [bleep] out of him every time I see him. My mom is a total mess and this whole ordeal has taken years off her life.

I never realized how much this drug has taken over. There's kids dying everyday around here from it.

He met his match yesterday, had a parole violation, went to court and the Judge sent him to Prison. I am relieved because he is not going anywhere, don't have to worry about him shooting up and my parents hopefully will get a nice long break.

Anyone else struggle with this in their family?

Matt

they can get it in there, make sure no one sends him any money.

Addicts get no quarter in my family. Be it booze or otherwise. If you can't keep your schit together you're ex-communicated until you can.

Seems to work.




Travis

Sorry to hear that my friend but don't give up hope. I have a friend who was into shooting meth. He lost everything he had including his marriage. I prayed for him for 16 years without any contact with him. One day he walked up to me in Walmart and asked me to take him to church. He's been clean and in church with me for nearly 2 years. Recently he has been bringing his ex wife and his mother with him. Sunday he hugged me and with many tears told me just how glad he was that God has changed his life.

I wish it were that easy deflave but my parent's took the wrong approach, IMO.

You would think 3 months at Cook County would have done something...

R_H, I hope he finds God in Prison because it seems that's the only way he is going to be saved.

Matt

My neices daughter died last year from a OD. Beautiful girl with the world by the ass.Died a junkie whore. Very sad but very true. The heroin is to good. Lots of junkies dying from it. ED K

I have a beautiful great niece. She is lovely in every way and a great mother. Her husband got hoked on heroin to the point where heroin is far more important than his wife and kids. My wide and I put her and her five kids on the plane to put more than 2200 miles between him and them to protect them. She is in school and working to support herself and her children. She is one of the heroes in my life.

Him I might run over if I saw him in the street.

Write him a long letter telling him all the reasons you're mad at him and all the reasons you love him. Pray for him and let him know you are praying for him.

I have no use for anyone that uses drugs.

Life is hard enough to get through when you're sober. I hate to think how bad I would have messed things up if I'd been a drunk or a druggie.

Full blown drug addiction like that is one of the most awful things. The addicts entire life revolves around the drugs...the drugs control their life...the drugs become their only reason for living. It destroys families, takes many years off of the lives of loved ones, and drains the finances of loved ones. It causes physical, emotional, and spiritual bankruptcy to those directly affected by it.

Problem is that lots of folks get hooked on the prescription variety, and then move to cheaper heroin when the prescription source dries up.

I've never had an addict family member, but a good friend of mine has a daughter who is one. Tough to cut your little girl loose and let her hit rock bottom given what happens to pretty girls with addictions. Addiction is just brutal on young women, as there is always some loser guy willing to take advantage of them and their addiction. Destroys families, depletes bank accounts, etc.

Matt:

I had a good friend who started out a heroin addict in his early 20s and died a heroin/opiate addict in his mid-50s. It is an addiction that is extremely difficult to overcome. My friend died of Hep C and all kinds of other complications. I learned that addicts will lie from you, steal from you, cheat you and do anything they have to do to get their next fix. Heroin destroyed his body and soul. Good luck with your brother. Hope he can overcome it. It won't be easy.


Jordan

Praying for you & your brother. After seeing what God has delivered me from I know He can deliver your brother.

I hope you take courage in the fact you are not alone in this.

Exactly! Without going into any details I watched my parents put up with and support a situation that I would have walked away from day one.

A parents unconditional love is something that almost nothing can overcome. Even worse is that it drives a wedge of separation between those other children and family members with opposite opinions towards the situation. And in the end the scars of pain and hurt are still there. It's easy to forgive but not so much to forget.

Godspeed to you and your family Sir.

Pretty sad when it gets to the point where a person's family is actually relieved when he goes to prison.

Hopefully the judge sentenced him to some kind of treatment program as a part of his sentence.

Most parents think their job is to make life better for their children than it was for them. Often they fail by giving to their children rather than awarding them for accomplishments. A reward not earned has little value and brings no benefit. It's in the struggle to attain that we grow and learn.

I'm not saying it's easy. But it is the only choice a family has.

Your brother's decisions have impacted his life. The only way to protect yourselves from his decisions is to cut him out completely. Otherwise the rest of your family will just get hurt more.

And I'm also not really giving advice. I'm just stating that is how my family handles family.



Travis

My wifes brother is a worthless druggie, last time he came over I told him to leave and to never return or he would die, he took me serious as he has never returned. he does call my wife once in awhile used tr be to try and get money but never succeded so he calls a lot less.

I wish he would get ahold of some of that good heroin as if he did things would be a lot easier on my wife and her mother.

Bad schit.

About two months ago we got called to a house where a father found his only son dead do to a heroin OD. I knew this kid since he was 12. Loved to hunt, standout ball player, but fell in with a bad crowd and had no family structure to depend on. He was trying to get things straight, had been in counciling for several weeks and had, as far as we could tell been clean for 7 weeks or so. His dad found him when he went to pick him up to take him to an inpatient rehab.

I feel for ya. I have a buddy that has a son that is hooked (he was using pain pills and they sent him to rehab where he met a female junkie that got him hooked). It's been horrible for his family. You want so much to help but you really can't . I think this kid finally got back into rehab and I heard he was doing well, but you know how that goes.

Travis when you say that's how your family handles the situation does that mean your entire family as a whole? Problem for us is there's never any unity.

We have a big family and whenever one of the kids or grand kids get into trouble my folks always act as RH pointed out. And if I or my siblings walk away it simply becomes more of a burden for my parents who will NEVER walk away nor judge and pass blame. It's a real struggle for us sometimes.

I know right you're at swag and it's one of my biggest struggles in life. Not sure what these kids are going to do when my folks pass on.

Over 100 fatal ODs this year where I used to live in Pa.

Same with the next county over.

I wonder why folks start; it's not like they don't know what is going to happen. Very irresponsible and calous toward their own families.

Yes.



Travis

I need to come live with y'all then.

Because they're selfish and don't give a fugg about other people.



Travis

Keep a close eye on your wallet.



Travis

Yep, and this isn't exclusive to a heroin addiction.. IMO it is the driving factor in most addictions

^
most junkies will always be junkies, they get clean for awhile but always go back.

Enabling is a worse addiction that the drug.

As long as people keep propping up an addict they will never get help, I'd say telling them to stay the fugg away until they really want help, and then actually being there for them when they come back asking for help is the best way to deal.

It is obviously extremely hard for some parents or family members to let their child go, but that is how it has to be.

Enabling is a worse addiction that the drug.

Exactly!! But unless you've actually been in the situation it's hard to know what the parents will do. Except in the case of mine, which I've already spelled out. And drugs don't even have to be involved. They're just flat out enablers and it drive me nuts. I love them to death but man I literally have to bite my tongue sometimes.

And swag is spot on with the expense to the parents. The money doesn't matter until they run out. UGH!

Heaven forbid they stop taking the narcotic.




Travis

like you said, they are selfish

When it gets to the point where a person is faced with a decision of cutting loose a kid with a drug problem, that kid has probably already had a good look at where they're gonna end up. Doesn't matter if it's a boy or girl. There's a bunch of sick bastards out there that are willing to take advantage of either one.

I watched my grandmother enable 3 of my dads siblings, it is disgusting. She now has dementia and cant remember if she took a shower on any given day. One of the kids she enabled got her to put him on the checking accounts and stole around 260k from her over the period of 2 1/2 years, before my dad and his other siblings could get power of attorney and stop it.

That POS would be better off dead.

Travis is also right on cutting them off, its one of the few things that actually got through to my daughter, the fact she would get zero help from us

I have alcoholics on both side of my family for at least two generations. I will have a drink occasionally but I drink very little. Drugs are something I avoid if at all possible and I am talking prescription drugs. Illegal drugs are not even an option in my life.

Druggies are only going to get off it when they decide they want to get off of it.

Doesn't matter how much you enable them or point them the right direction.

Don't have any sympathy for them, not a lot for the folks who enable them. It's the kids that are involved that get all my sympathy.

There are recovering and recovered addicts on here who can better tell you the depths that your brother needs to get to before he will accept treatment.

Ed

I agree 100%. In this case he was offered a ride in one of the most successful treatment centers in the country. He walked out because some man in the shower exposed himself. BS, he walked out because he had no desire to get off heroin.

X 1 million!


I have zero tolerance for it and cut them no quarter.

Do you consider smelling a freshly fired shotshell as "using narcotics?

Travis is spot on. Family can be cull and should be. Damn shame the parents continued to enable, but the time comes when all strings have to be cut.

If they can't do it, I'd walk from the entire lot.

I watched my sister try to make something good out of my brother. I told her to give it up as he was a lost soul and she refused to give up.

You wouldn't believe the number of carbon copy checks I found, made out to our brother, when I was going through all of her stuff just 3 days after he shot her in the face in that same house. There were still blood stains. Her reward for helping an addict.

That is a truly awful thing to happen among family members. Can't imagine it being worse...unless it involved children.

And to take it further, my mother would never give up on him and it wore thin with me, along with her being such a 'martyr'

The last time I spoke to my mother was sometime in 2003.

Last December there was a summons on my door, she did a reverse mortgage on the house and the company she did it with were going to all possible heirs. My mother died 5 months prior.

So yes, family can be cull.

Ive watched several people try to stay clean. They do for awhile and end up failing, repeatedly. Always wanted to understand why they went back. I guess i should thank God i dont understand.

Government should outlaw drugs, so this sort of thing doesn't happen in our society.

Thanks for the replies everyone. Looks like a lot of you have been in our shoes. Steelhead thanks for sharing your experience too, it hit home with me because I see our situation heading in that direction now. My Mom is the enabler for sure. I have already had them change all their locks, all guns but one are with me, no cash or large valuables in the house, etc...



You hit the nail on the head for him. We think that's how this started. He used to have stomach issues since he was in his teens and got hooked on the pills a couple years ago.

No, society should outlaw drugs and then these things won't happen. IMHO, Far North Native Americans had it right with tribal councils and banishment.

Ed

You hit rock bottom if your doing heroine! Nasty crap!

Drugs are NOT a victimless crime. The only way to stop them is to make dealing too unprofitable or too dangerous to pursue. Obviously, our government has done neither.

Actually, it's done the opposite. They have made it extremely profitable and quite safe to pursue the dealing of narcotics, and even more profitable to engage in the "war" on it, from agency heads on down to street departments and a myriad of equipment suppliers and vendors.

OP have the family look into al-anon or some type of counseling while the junkie is locked up! Maybe they can learn enough in that time to know how to deal with him when and if he gets out.

As others mentioned don't think for a minute there isn't a readily available supply of dope in prison! Let him live on what the Illinois dept of corrections gives him and nothing else, it's not meant to be comfortable.

PM with whee he is at I have an old Army buddy who is a guard in Illinois DOC.

Mike

In more ways than I wish to recall, have witnessed people dealing with substance use/addicition for more than 60 years, and have tried to help quite a few. In the early days it was mostly alchohol, heroin or uppers but over time there has become a myriad of stuff and possibilities. Percentage-wise, seems like there are very few true accounts of kicking and full rehab - a sad reality.

We tend to identify and disparage the evil of the drugs themselves, the "bad crowd" that gets otherwise sensible people into the stuff, the suppliers who vicitmize in various ways, the family members who do, or don't, do the correct things with users, but sometimes I feel such focus to be escapism - wandering through the periphery.

Such addicition is singularly and strictly a personal matter: what is your level of self-respect?, will you exercise self-control for your own betterment (someone else cannot/will not)?, are you willing to use your brain and talents to confront the facts of life rather than trying to escape them?, is it more important to have "friends" than to do the right things with your life?, and down that road.

It is one thing (excellent) to have empathy with those addicted and to try to help them, but foolish ever to think that the answers and solutions are anywhere other than within them.

For most, it is a zillion times more effective never to engage addicitive ingredients than it it is to break loose from them.

"Train up a child in the way he should go - -"

IMHO our society does a poor job of explaining and reinforcing these realities. We seem to focus on the peripheral.

I could never and would never shun blood or true friends because of their weaknesses/addictions.

It's hard to get into my circle. Once there, they've earned their spot and I don't revert to fair weathered because they're going through a rough patch.

The "mile in their moccasins..." sort of deal; for me, anyways.

The ones that suffer are the family members. Tough love is the ONLY way to go.

Not doubting your methods for your situation but I have to wonder how many addicts you have dealt.

At first everyone offers help, when help is refused, real help, not giving a guy $500, but help that would make them better. That is the time to let them find there own way, and if they come back and truly want to change on their own accord you will still be there for them.

Heroin ain't got nothin' on Meth. Meth is the Emperor of Destruction.

I know of a number of opiod addicts who lead a fairly normal life, holding down a good job, paying their bills, and handling their addiction, whether it be Oxycontin, Methadone, Fentanyl, Morphine, or heroin.

Meth addicts? Not so much.

That said, any drug addiction is bad news.

Ed

Nicotine was bad enough.

I hate to see the horse.

Its a major issue in this county....I have zero sympathy for the users...tough when it is in the family...but for the users, an OD is the only good contribution they give to society...

My Doc told me that nicotine was worse than heroin addiction. I don't know about that as I have never seen a recovering nicotine addict die from withdrawal but have see two withdrawal deaths from heroin.
Seems that nicotine affect the same receptors (dopamine, serotonin, and a couple of jewels that affect hunger, etc).

Opioids not only affect these brain chemicals, they also depress everything else in the Central Nervous System.

CCCC; Paul you hit the nail on the head. It is all about personal responsibility and self-discipline. Every drug addict I have ever interviewed (many hundreds) all said the same thing. They were drinking alcohol the first time they tried drugs. Without the alcohol's effect of lowering inhibition and altering judgement, would they have done drugs? Don't know, but everyone of them said that they wished they had never started.

Ed

+1 putting down the can was rough business.

I had a friend that was a friggin rock star. We worked together in the car business. The guy made $300k a year, always had hot women and fast cars. He got hooked on pain pills after he hurt his back. It took about two years but he managed to lose everything. I remember one night leaving work I saw him sitting in his car smoking OXYs. I wanted to puke. He died sitting at his computer a couple of years ago, with a needle of hot heroin in his arm. He drained all his mothers accounts after he used up all of his money. Even set up a fake robbery so he could make a claim on his mothers homeowners insurance. She is still battling that insurance fraud lawsuit even after his death. I have no use for addicts as they are not the same person they used to be.

Never think of it as shunning, think of it as protecting.

Just read a report that stated the Canadian soldier 's killer
had a $160 a day heroin habit, according to his friend.

Drugs can turn a person into a monster...back in my youth, my best friend came at me with a hammer because he couldn't get his pickup started after a three day tweak...in that twisted moment, he somehow perceived that I was the root cause of his problems. He turned just before he was close enough to hit me & threw the hammer through the windshield. The look he had in his eyes is something I never want to see again.

I truly hope you never have to deal with that problem Bob...But I'm here to tell ya...If you had done "a mile in their moccasins" you'd know that they aren't the people you once knew. I have a niece that was at one time in competition for a spot on the Olympic figure skating team...now her resume includes identity thief...crack whore. 2 time felon.

I quit dipping like nothing. I don't know why people make such a big deal about it.


Travis

some people aint wired for addiction....my brother is the same way as you, had zero problem quitting.....

People who don't give a crap about anything but their drugs and their fix don't care about or for themselves......that means they especially don't care for or about anyone else.

Just like liberals....

The last time I quit was easy, it was the 20 times before that were difficult.

12 steps saved my life and I see miracles all the time in the programs in which I am active. The 2 worst things you can do for an addict are to give them what they ask for or to completely cut em off out of frustration.

Remind him you love him and that love won't allow you to see him kill himself.

Check out Velvet Underground's song Heroin to hear a musical expression of what it's like to shoot up. Insane.

Can't express with words or actions the gratitude I have for the people who shied me tough love even when I'd given up on myself.

I quit it all the time. No biggie.

When their kids are being sexually molested by the boyfriend/girlfriend of the day, while 2 year old toddlers are eating anything they can pull out of the fridge/shelves and open themselves while the parents are passed out for 20 hours at a time..

Then see how you define "fair weather".

Glad you haven't seen it first hand.

I think that is what is hard for people to do, they are either invested and "trying" to help or they completely wash their hands of the addict.

The all or nothing attitude is what makes people enable. It is fine to tell someone you love them and will do anything to help once they are ready but until that time you don't want them in your life. It gets them to bottom faster and then when they are ready you can be there for them and help pick them back up.

I understand what you're saying, and your heart is what makes you a magnificent friend to your friends, but ...

We're not talking about a rough patch, here.

My dad's side of the family has a bunch of addicts. Not sure where to begin or if this is any kind of solace to those who would read this.

Let's start with Dad's sister, my Aunt Gayle. Gayle was married to a drunk and coke addict, Neal. He left her kids fatherless when he walked out after one of many fights. One of his girlfriends shot herself while he was driving down the highway. He then killed himself intentionally with booze. Gayle got busted recently at the age of 62 with meth. I think she took the hit for her son.

Her kids, my cousins, have about 12 kids to the three of them, none of them legitimate, most just about to hit their teenage problem years. The eldest has already proven to be a mooch, and she was the one my parents had hopes would actually do something with her life. At age 21 or so has still never had a job, but she took a community college class once.
Ryan, my cousin is probably the most problematic of the cousins. His legal bills drained what little my real grandfather had left before he died. Ryan is still in and out of prison, as is his current girlfriend for theft, transporting controlled substances, etc. I finally looked up his criminal record, and he's been arrested at least 3 times for possession with intent to distribute of what I believe is meth (it just lists the controlled substance schedules, of which marijuana is not one). I remember picking him up from a halfway house to go to my grandfather's funeral. He was serving time for stealing a large spool of copper wire. I think he has 5 felony convictions in his 38 years.
Another Aunt, Melinda, is banned from WalMart, Kmart and Target in her town and California apparently has a sentence magnifier for repeat shoplifters that made her last one a felony. Not that she wasn't a felon before, I know she broke her ankle running from the cops during a bust at one of flophouses where they were manufacturing meth. Also aborted/miscarried a fetus into a toilet after that. Drug of choice is mostly meth but her stepdad told me once that even as a teenager she was into drugs, including coke. She's now about 55 or so.
Her son, my cousin, Dylan is another real POS. His mom wouldn't even tell us who the father is til he was 16. Dad suddenly appeared at age 20 for him, just in time for his 2nd felony conviction for assault. He's now getting additional time for tagging of all things (I didn't believe it, so I looked it up-considered gang related activity). Anyway, we are pretty sure he was the one stealing from my grandmother and her husband to the tune of several grand before he ended up back in jail and the charges stopped. Dad is a first class turd too. Also in prison, this latest for assaulting my aunt while on probation for theft. In fact, all three are presently doing time as I write this.
Then there's uncle Johnny. He lost his first testicle as a young child to mumps, then his next one in an accident at age 12. Trust me, society should be considered fortunate that Johnny and Faye can't breed. Faye is the only one on this list that has had a long term job... as a Denny's waittress... wearing someone else's dentures. Johnny was dishonorably discharged from the Army in the 70s and got into PCP, then spent some time in an insane asylum. Managed to get a job at a Ford factory in LA. They shut that down, so he moved to KC to keep working for Ford. Closed that plant, gave him a $20K severence check and on his way through Vegas, he blew the whole thing. It seemed like he cleaned himself up in the late 90s when he moved to Missouri, but I doubt it. I've only seen him once now in the last 20 years when he showed up for Christmas about 3 years ago looking for money.
My grandparents (stepgrandfather) have also done a reverse mortgage so they can keep taking care of the leeches living off of them. They are both in terrible health and have less than 3 years left before they run out of home equity to borrow on. They've tolerated/enabled all the meth, thievery, lies, and other [bleep] for 40 years.
My dad doesn't give them money, but he does give out a lot of gifts at Christmas time to them, including money nowadays. But that's the only time. I asked him once what he thought my obligation to see his side of the family was when he is gone. He simply said that was up to me.
I'm getting married this next summer at age 35 and hope to have kids soon after. They will never know my cousins. To some degree it was useful for my parents to hold them up as an example of what not to do. I think I can still do that for my kids without having to see them anymore.

Four close friends of mine from childhood have lost their lives to heroin. One was my childhood sweetheart. Double that number of old friends, now adults, have trainwrecks that pass for their lives. I steer way clear of any of them I happen to run into--those who still have their freedom. It isn't hard to do, as most times I see any it has been panhandling or otherwise struggling to find enough money to fill a syringe. Sad, but a choice. None of the three pretty gals below look liked needle junkies, but the truth is that 2 of the 3 killed themselves with heroin. RIP HR and RD.

Impossible to understand, ain't it.

You also don't chew very much.

Nicotine never was my thing either.



Would REALLY...REALLY....REALLY.....hate to give up drinkin' beer though......grin

I'm addicted to Gunsmoke and Ms Kitty!!

I'm an LEO and recently found a 20 year old boy dead after what turned out to be a heroin overdose. I had to talk to his mother about it who had just lost her husband to a heart attack six months ago. She relied on her son to help with their family business and she had recently taken him back in after a stint in rehab. He had gone to an NA meeting that same day. It's heart breaking.

I know what your saying and agree in most cases but when your wife is threatened by one of these lowlifes I think even you would change your mind.

No doubt. The world was theirs, right there before them, with everything they needed to succeed. Good families, good friends, good upbringing, healthy and a mile ahead of 90% of others around the world to begin with, and yet, they just fooking threw it all away...

I never drank much booze even while I was a young loud mouthed punk. I smoked cigarettes for twenty four years and then just quit. The driving force in my quitting was when my two little girls came to me one evening and begged me to give smoking up as they didn't want me to die from cancer. That was back in 1976. I didn't have much of a problem in quitting. Just made up my mind to quit and did it.

Never had any desire to try any drug from MJ on up. There were a few times when I drank enough whiskey to get drunk and do things that I wouldn't have otherwise. Must have thought it fun at the time but later on was completely ashamed of some of the things I did. In other words, I lost control of myself and didn't like that so I quit that also.

Now we all (most) condemn people using drugs but many people seem to base their manhood on what kind and how much booze they consume and think nothing of it. Being around somebody that is drunk or even a little bit drunk (if that's possible) is more than I can handle. We probably all have been around some guy that has been drinking a little and he doesn't realize it but he is starting to say and do things he wouldn't if he was not drinking. Not good.

My sister has a son that's been an addict for most of his 30 years.

The sad thing is, she has now defined her life by his success or failure. When it started involving my family, I made the cut. Haven't lost any sleep over it.

Thank the drug war for turning what would be $1.60 of useless into 160 reasons to victimize someone today with 160 more tomorrow.

Heard of many alcoholics stealing six figures from their families or copper from my house? Because a half gallon of Bowmans is 10 bucks and they don't have to.

Hmm. That's a weird side-effect.

Fun thread, BTW.

Lost a very close friend to heroin overdose. He was only 25. Had most everything going for him. Never guessed him to be a junky. Sure he smoked a bit of pot now and then knew him to occasionally pop a few pills. I had similar transgressions now and then. Never seen him strung out or dope sick.

He came from a great family. He was in school was originally from a smaller town about 60 miles away. Some days his mom would drop by were we both worked just to say hi and drop off lunch. She and his dad were both counselors for troubled youth. He would try and get home to be with his family as often as possible.

He had a couple days off coming up and wanted to head home. It was not pay week and he was short money. As I left work for the day I gave him fifty bucks and told him jokingly don't do anything stupid.

Two days later I get the call that he was found the day before dead in a dope house of an overdose. Never had a death hit me so hard. Could not get the thought out of my head of what if I had not given him the money.

It is a terrible drug that can be easily hidden. I saw the guy five days a week and did not have a clue and his parents did not either. Don't think there is any reason a user could give for using that would make any sense to a non user. Some of their "problems" I would not even crack a beer over if I had to deal with them.

Guy I work with is 53. His daughter who has always been trouble had a kid while on heroin. She just left it there and he brought it home from the hospital. So now him and his wife care for it.

Nothing like raising a newborn living in a travel trailer and driving an hour to work each way. He's got 8 kids now, 4 of his and 4 of his wifes kids plus his grandkid now. I think he supports all but one of them.

I like beer. Seriously enjoy the taste of beer, but I have maybe 1 or 2 a week. Maybe. And I don't go out of my way for it. Same with liquor - mainly scotch and tequila.

Tobacco smoke. I love it. Second hand, 1st hand - whatever.

Pipe, cigar, doesn't matter.

When I finally quit my 26 year habit, the hardest thing was sticking the 1st week. I'd drop it for a day or two, sometimes 4 or 5, but I would always end up stopping at a gas station and grabbing a pack, or bumming one off my Dad or co-workers.

I had to nibble that thing down by forcing myself not to smoke at specific trigger times - (driving, after meals, work breaks, etc) until I finally realized I had a "pack every week" habit. Then I was able to convince myself it was truly kickable. Haven't had one in months. Don't even want one.

But I'll walk through a cloud of people smoking every now and then, just to get a whiff.

If I ever have to give up midget oriental hookers, I don't know what I'd do.

Whatever helps you sleep at night, junkie.



Travis

WIthout cope, I doubt I could.

It wouldnt be called an addiction but for years I chewed tobacco. Didnt need it, could go days without. When two friends got oral cancer I quit. Havent bought a poke in years, have only begged maybe 6 chews in over 10 years. However everytime I see or smell the stuff I want some ... bad.

I have a hard time wrapping my mind around true addiction...

I used to work with a guy that no matter what he did it was balls to the wall. He popped hydrocodone like candy for years and probably continues today. Even though he could barely play a guitar, he purchased 53 Fender guitars in about a 1 year span.

He spent 20K on trap and skeet shooting when he got into that for a year or two. His whole life is one addiction after another, whether it booze, cigarettes, pills, or guitars, and it has cost him his wives and kids.

I simply don't get it?

Seen a bunch of Jesus addicts too...

I think so too. I'm convinced that some folk have a familial or genetic makeup that makes them much more susceptible to addictive behavior. It's not quite as simple as just stating they are completely stupid, selfish, or uncaring of others and family. And I'm not justifying it or excusing it or cutting them any slack but it might be a window into how some and their family members struggle mightily with, say alcohol, and others can walk away.

Of course there are all the other pieces of the collage--like emotional hurt, anger, etc.,-- that go into a person seeking escape in some type of temporary euphoria.

My personal opinion of the various rehab programs and their overall dismal success rate which IIRC is less than or somewhere around 15% lies in their secularizing the programs and taking God as The Higher Power out of them. Now a guy can name his truck as his joke'n "higher power." I'm convinced that for many hard core addicts there will only be freedom in Christ. Outside of that, slim chance.

For 10 years of my life I smoked around an ounce of pot every week.For anyone that doesn't know, that's about 100 joints a week.

I was born again and have been completely free for 18 years. No withdraws, no going back even a little.

It's the one addiction that can save you.

Perhaps, but I have to question those trading addictions.

And I'm PROUD to be one of them!

Spent many years in 12 step programs to support my younger brother trying to beat his 'usages' of certain drugs and alcohol...none of it serious stuff, but still ruled his personal life to his detriment...

no one ever recovers, it is just something they learn to live with and control at best....the old "give them an inch, they'll take a mile" saying really applies to a user, be it alcohol or drugs...

Finally learned going thru these meetings, watching and listening to others... like my brother also.... they look at their addictions as the fault of others....

they truly do hurt the ones they love the most, as those are the ones that they blame their addictions on...

my brother blamed me for his using, with the excuse that I was codependent, and by taking care of all his problems in life, I enabled him to be able to use, because he didn't have to worry about anything.. therefore it was my fault that he didn't have to go thru any sort of recovery....

When he said this in a group meeting, with all the others shaking their heads yes, I felt like putting him thru the wall...

it sure stopped my taking care of everything for him....

I learned sitting in 12 step programs, it is hard to see these things when you are emotionally involved with the person who has an addiction.. such as family....

but sitting in meetings, listening to others you have NO emotional involvement with, you can easily see the source of their dysfunctions.... you learn patterns and functional actions and responses to dealing with the addicts you are emotionally connected to ( Ie, Family).....

an example is my brother got thrown in jail in Minnesota, for something stupid.... he got pulled over for a tail light being out.... they ran his record and found he had a warrant out for his arrest, for not paying a parking ticket a few weeks short of 7 years earlier ( statute of limitations)...

so I get called to go down and bail him out for the weekend.. and he has court on Monday.... my mom was visiting... she goes down with me.....

She sees him locked up and starts crying.... saying it was the saddest thing she ever had to deal with.... enabling and sympathy...

I started laughing and told him seeing him behind bars was the funniest thing I had ever seen.... I refused to bail him out of jail, and refused to let mom pay his bail either.... based on his past actions when I came to his rescue....

end result was he made sure that his driving record and any outstanding fines were taken care of first thing that week...

if we would have bailed him out, he would have continued status quo, and would have expected us to pay his fines for what he had been thrown into jail for in the first place, along with paying the $150 to get his truck out of the impound lot out in Corcoran...

12 step programs save people's lives, but they have to be ready for it... court ordered 12 step program attendance is useless..

as I use to say in those programs... the old adage...

You can lead a horse to water

you can throw the horse in the water

you can drown the horse in the water...

but you can't make the horse drink the water...


motivation has to come from within.. and with an addict, if it doesn't, you are wasting both their time and your time...

no mercy for their actions is the only way you help these people.. comforting them only enables them to continue what is undermining their lives and everyone else they touch...

What were your prior addictions?

my brother use to analyze 12 step programs of where people try to give up their addictions to alcohol and drugs, by picking up an addiction to coffee cigarettes and Jesus....

certain amount of truth in that...

That is his only hope as there is not medical cure for heroin addiction. More than anything else, he or anyone else for that matter has to have a honest desire to get sober.

Why is it that NO one ever finds Christ on prom night?

In my youth, I had a serious addiction to pu$$y...It cost me dearly...a couple times it left me spiritually & financially bankrupt...more than once, I found myself compromising my morals.

Because getting laid is not life threatening.

pretty sure I cried "Oh God" on prom night

marijuana isn't additive, there is no such thing as pot physical withdrawals.

I found Jesus on prom night... along with heaven and earth and all things wonderful...

5 ft 9, blond hair to her waist, 42 DDs...

I couldn't even find my car on prom night! Good thing too.

In fact, I lost my tux. Took me forever to pay for that thing.

Lots of truth to that. You have to remember that the addict spends their day thinking about what (substance) they need, getting the substance, using the substance and then when they start to come down, where their next dose will come from. It takes up their entire day, so now when they (hopefully) get sober, they have this huge gap of time in their day with nothing to do, except going to 12 step meeting(s). Hopefully, if their life wasn't completely impacted by their addiction, whey can get some type of work to fill 8-10 hrs of that unused gap. That's primarily, why they take up other addictions like the ones you mentioned or they develop a different addiction.

Cigarettes. After I became a Christian, I read scripture that pointed out that my body, along with countless others, was now the temple of the Holy Spirit. 1 Corinthians 6 : 19-20. After reading that, I decided that it just wasn't right for me to be filling the residing place of the Holy Spirit with smoke. I'm sure that those words had much to do with me quitting nicotine but my two little girls begging me to quit was the main thing at that time.

Good for you Bigbuck... especially being a dad and motivated by the requests of your two young daughters...

Well, to a certain degree you are right, but there is still the mental addiction, which when you are separated from the weed in say a rehab, it is far, far easier to recover from that addiction. Alcohol, on the other hand, is a physical and mental addiction which makes it more complex to deal with. It can, however be done, as I know dozens of folks, some personal friends, with decades of sobriety.

HA! I gave up on school three years before prom night.

I did an intership at a residential treatment facility years ago..... On the last day there the director pulled me aside and told me the main thing he would like me to take away from the training was his belief that treatment out comes would be multipul time better if they were able to work with family friends and employers of alcoholics/drug addicts without necessary even seeing the addicts......

The concept of "Love the person but do NOT be accepting of unacceptable behavior".... Is a powerful one..... The crazy making part for people with substance abuse/dependency issues people in their lives is figuring out what their "bottom line " is and then never threating something without being willing to follow through with it.

The above is much easier said than done though.... The "grey areas" will literally drive some one nuts..... Alanon/ Naranon can often help sort out the individual situations. A Google search will locate meetings and contact people pretty much anywhere.

http://www.nar-anon.org/find-a-group/

I would agree with what you just said if the addiction is caught early enough. If it isn't, all the consequences in the world can't keep the addict on the right track for long term sobriety.